%%

*** BitchX: Join to #sysadmin was synched in 0.816 secs!!
<joeydagger> fn0rd
<saundo> JOEY
<Raze> no
<Raze> wrong
<Raze> it is an impostor
<Raze> it's really....OLD MAN WILLIS FROM THE GRAIN MILL
<joeydagger> and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you
             meddling kids!

				-- ruh roh!
				#sysadmin, 8 March 2010

%%

<Raze> [ed], seriously. you think about cocks more than I do and I have sex
          with men

				-- ed being gay for Raze
				#sysadmin, 3 March 2010

%%

<cerby> I have jetissoned all brain matter except the part where lolcats
          resides and knowledge of how to use toilet paper.
<saundo> and boobs

				-- cerb with useful information
				#sysadmin, 23 February 2010

%%

<saundo> cerb likes em big
<cerby> I like 'em purple.
<joeydagger> i just bet you do
<saundo> big and purple
<saundo> so barney
<joeydagger> oh god
<saundo> WIN
<[ed]> big purple headed moster
<[ed]> named barney
<cerby> there must be Barney pr0n somewhere.
<joeydagger> the barney TWW of enlightnment!
<[ed]> rule 34
<Raze> time to go!
<saundo> vibrating, sparkly Barney!
*** SignOff Raze: #sysadmin (Quit: let's hope i cna make it home)
<joeydagger> ahahahahaha
<saundo> it's like a barney vampir
<[ed]> would barney count as furry?
<[ed]> since he's a reptile
<cerby> all this talk about barney and dick and raze has to leave.
<paratus> [ed]: yup. just found it. wish i hadn't. fuck you, ed. fuck you.
<saundo> the chick that would fuck a dude dressed up as barney
<saundo> would do anything
<[ed]> yes
<saundo> "OH YEAH< DO WITH WITH THE TAIL, WHILE YOU SING THE SONG!"
<cerby> got her phone number?
<saundo> *69
<joeydagger> oh *do*
<[ed]> tattood on the back of his hand
<joeydagger> erm, *no*
<joeydagger> that is so, so bad
<saundo> ahahahah

				-- I LOVE YOUUUUUUU! YOU LOVE MEEEEEE!
				#sysadmin, 9 February 2010

%%

<sparkle> you know
<sparkle> the solaris text installer is more fun in japanese
<Nitrogen> ...
<Nitrogen> you're weird.
<sparkle> that's not what you said the other night
<sparkle> oh wait, it was.  nm.
<joeydagger> bahahaahahaha

				-- janet and leo flirting mercilessly
				#sysadmin, 5 February 2010

%%

saundo:   and i iz acting managur
marcie:   ooer
saundo:   by virtue of not being on vacation
Vanyel:   yay
saundo:   i shall abuse my power relentlessly
marcie abuses saundo relentlessly
saundo:   the first job of one of the PMs?
saundo:   BLOW ME
Vanyel:   hahahaha
marcie:   YES
Vanyel:   go fuck midgets
marcie:   depends on the PM
marcie:   the PMs here, no thank you, oy
saundo:   and then we're going to play pass the m&m between buttcheeks with
          the rest of them
marcie:   ahahah
Vanyel:   hahaha
saundo:   the winner gets to NOT EAT THE M&M

				-- saundo, drunk with power
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 December 2009

%%

saundo:   SWMBO just said "the little chocolatiers on TLC remind me of oompah
          loompahs"

				-- rack-mounted chocolatiers!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 December 2009

%%

saundo:   so I see a santa today in a cherry picker courtesy of the salvation
          army
saundo:   (on the tv news)
marcie:   oh dear
saundo:   and my first thought is
marcie:   that could have all sorts of endings
saundo:   "they didn't raise enough money so they're going to KILL SANTA?"
marcie:   ahahahaAHAHAHA
marcie:   YES
saundo:   then the other voice in my head started chanting "JUMP JUMP JUMP"
marcie:   i love your twisted mind, zaundo
saundo:   and that was drowned out by "i wonder how much it woudl cost for me
          to buy santa jumping"
marcie:   it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling
saundo:   and finally
saundo:   "FUCK that's a good cherry picker to hold that FAT MAN IN THE AIR"
marcie:   hahahahaha
saundo:   santa bungee?
saundo:   santa bunghole bungee?
saundo:   prolapses roasting on an open fire?
saundo:   santase.cx?
saundo:   it's the fumes
saundo:   there's some kind of solvent in the ac today

				-- saundo as the grinch
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 December 2009

%%

saundo:   meeeerrrrrry christmas, may your pooping be fruitful

				-- saundo in the holiday spirit
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 December 2009

%%

* Nitrogen/#sysadmin finishes disk presenty magic
<sparkle> that's what it seems like
<Nitrogen> WARNING:  YOU ARE SUPERUSER !!
* cheesey/#sysadmin plays the superuser theme tune
<sparkle> lol
<sparkle> it sounds like the final level music for mario, right?
<sparkle> with the lines of fireballs sweeping in circles
<sparkle> and periodically lava rises up to cover your keyboard
<joeydagger> haha
<joeydagger> yes!

				-- leo the superuser
				#sysadmin, 9 October 2009

%%

<[ed]> if you can't get laid trapped in an elevator with a crazed guy in
          boxers, horn-rimmed glasses and dress socks
<[ed]> you aren't getting laid

				-- ed the wise one
				#sysadmin, 6 August 2009

%%

<Xi> so if my load average on a 2 CPU box is 20-30, that's bad, right? ;)
<[ed]> only if *you* need to use it.
<Xi> that's the answer I was looking for

				-- Xi the knowledgable sysadmin
				#sysadmin, 4 August 2009

%%

<Nitrogen> when life gives you poop, you make poop flavored lemonade
<Nitrogen> and make someone else drink it
<Nitrogen> and then laugh

				-- Leo the cheery sysadmin
				#sysadmin, 8 July 2009

%%

<sparkle> mm leftover taiwanese
<sparkle> the good stuff, made by this old stern looking guy who knows about
          seven words of english
<highmeh> grasp on english language is inversely proportionate to
          deliciousness of food
<Greg[Work]> This is true
<sparkle> thus is explained british cooking.

				-- janet explains is all
				#sysadmin, 30 June 2009

%%

Vanyel:   bitchass
Vanyel:   I am seriously going to rape this datacenter guy in the face with a
          pool cue
...
Vanyel:   holy shit
Vanyel:   management just raped him in the face with a shotgun
Vanyel:   FIRED
ed:       hahahahaha
marcie:   whoa
ed:       no fucking way!
Vanyel:   way.
ed:       whoa
marcie:   that's some quick karma right there!

				-- Leo exacting revenge
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 December 2008
%%

cerby:    hrm, come to think of it, a pair of tits i spooged on frequently
          more than a decade ago was the gensis of my EN password that's still
	            in use
cerby:    ah, there's worse things to be influenced by, I guess.
cuinhell: you shouldn't use family names for passwords, cerb
marcie:   he's right, you know
marcie:   i mean, your mom's name? that's just too obvious

				-- cerb's security measures
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 October 2008

%%

ed:       the mormon I work with hasn't gone to church in like 7 years
ed:       his wife and kids still go
ed:       I wonder if he had to give back his undies
DontKnow: parents don't ahve to be identical to each other.
DontKnow: he's probably like me and still wearing them. they are very well
          built :)
ed:       hahahah

				-- DK's magical Mormon underwear
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 October 2008

%%

DontKnow lynches cerby.
*** cerby has been disconnected
DontKnow: wow. that was effective. :(
ed:       sup
ed:       dk has powers he never knew he had

				-- DK the e-murderer
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 September 2008

%%

cerby:    my balls are dry!
marcie:   thanks for the update
cerby:    any time.
cerby:    I will be providing the update on pendulousness in due time.
marcie:   looking forward to it
cerby:    don't drool, it's unbecoming.
Xi:       that's not drool
Xi:       you've seen Aliens, right? ;)
cerby:    hahaha

				-- marcie wants you to get away from her, bitch!				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 September 2008

%%

cerby:    Bernanke Tells Congress Economy Is Faltering
cerby:    they misspelled Fucked

				-- Our Fearless Leaders during the crash of '08
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 September 2008

%%

marcie:   must
marcie:   find
marcie:   motivation
Xi:       I had some but a lolcat eated it

				-- Xi having pussy problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 September 2008

%%

marcie:   there are 2 sysadmins having a fight in the hall
marcie:   a verbal fight, let me clarify
janet:    ahh
marcie:   although it would be kind of awesome if it was a fistfight
janet:    organize a crowd to circle around then and chant
marcie:   ahahaha
Vanyel:   I just had a verbal fight with another ASE here
marcie:   "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT"
janet:    sometimes you have to make your own fun

				-- life in corporate America
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 September 2008

%%

Xi:       this day drags forth like a lame dog with three broken legs and a
          strong desire to get off the freeway
DontKnow: if I were a lame dog with three broken legs I'd want to stay on the
          freeway and be done.
marcie:   my parents just acquired a three-legged dog.
marcie:   i thought it was a joke when my dad told me.
marcie:   so of course i immediately had to drag out my standard joke
marcie:   <southern accent>"a 3-legged dawg walks into a bar and says, 'i'm
          looking for the man who shot my paw.'"</southern accent>
Xi:       HAH
marcie:   :D
marcie:   see!
marcie:   that shit's funny!
Xi:       wht did they name the three legged dawg?
marcie:   i disremember
marcie:   something lame, pardon the pun
Xi:       nothing fun like tripod or speedy?
marcie:   alas, no
marcie:   although that's probably only becuase my mom wouldn't let my dad
          name it

				-- marcie's white trash jamboree
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 September 2008

%%

Vanyel:   this shit is just awesome
Vanyel:           http://www.petitiononline.com/LHCDS/petition.html
ed:       I love online petitions 
ed:       they're so cute
ed:       remember splitfires?
ed:       hmm, sounds like twats to me.
ed:       petition twattage
ed:       twats twats
ed:       they all seem to watch starwars
ed:       twats twats
ed:       they all seem to have never seen a live snatch
ed:       twats twats
ed:       they're all around
ed:       twats twats
ed:       they're all about the super collider but thats what makes them
ed:       twats twats
ed:       they think their petition will make a difference
ed:       twats twats
marcie:   ahahahah
ed:       I've never heard of an online petition doing anything
ed:       but their luserish enthusiasm makes them
ed:       twats twats
ed:       ttttttwwwwwwaaaaaaaaats! Yea!
marcie applauds wildly
ed:       fucking luser twats

				-- ed breaking into song
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 September 2008

%%

cerby:    cell phones would make poor vibrators I'd think
cerby:    not enough amps
marcie:   they do.
saundo:   ahahahahahaha
marcie:   O:)

				-- marcie with knowledge
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 August 2008

%%

saundo:   SNATCH UBER ALLES

				-- saundo's new battle cry
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 August 2008

%%

cerby:    fascists get a bum rap.
cerby:    all of them have excellent harems. how bad can they be?

				-- cerby the fascist
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 August 2008

%%

Vanyel:   I think we lost cerby
Vanyel:   or he got fired for looking at that at work
Xi:       have to power him off and hope his journals recover
marcie:   awesome
Vanyel:   just make sure and do it before his nvram battery dies
Vanyel:   assuming cerby is running on good san gear
marcie:   i wouldn't assume that
Xi:       I just hope he upgraded to a journaling version of UFS
marcie:   he's probably cobbled together by duct tape, baling wire, and a used
          condom
Xi:       otherwise, there could be some metadb work in the future
marcie:   and fisher price's my first raid
Xi:       if the condom is still wet with the seed of a thousand infidels,
          you're probably right
	  marcie:   made of old 200MB IDE drives
Xi:       mmm
Xi:       on an ISA IDE controller?
marcie:   damn right
Xi:       and of course the interrupt jumper is missing a pin
marcie:   yessss
marcie:   and some hacker wannabe has overclocked the 486 75MHz cpu
marcie:   so that you have to leave the case off so it won't overheat
marcie:   and there's a midget sitting on the power supply jerking off to
          midget pr0n
marcie:   it's not pretty, really
Xi:       is this the normal midget or the amputee midget?
marcie:   definitely the amputee midget

				-- cerb googling 'tubgirl' (don't)
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 August 2008

%%

Vanyel:   one of our pain in the ass customers pulled their biggest pain in
          the ass websites from us
Vanyel:   so, I got their ASE a cake.
cerby:    classy.
cerby:    did you cum all over it before sending it over?
Vanyel:   well
Vanyel:   hold on  sec.

				-- Vanyel hard at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 August 2008

%%

cerby:    hookers will run WILD
Xi:       someday I'll get off my lazy ass and configure some openvpn goodness
          for home
ed:       hrm
ed:       xi
cerby:    i had a window covering everything except "Xi:       someday I'll
          get off my lazy ass and"
ed:       it's quick
ed:       and easy
ed:       I finally did it
cerby:    i was exptecting to see "and get myself a gaggle of hookers"
Xi:       do hookers come in a gaggle?
Xi:       or is it a herd
Xi:       maybe  a clutch
cerby:    harem?
cerby:    flock.
Xi:       AH
Xi:       FLOCK OF HOOKERS!
cerby:    yes!
cerby:    FLOCK OF HOOKERS!

				-- hookerology
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 August 2008

%%

janet:    sighs
janet:    so how many monitors is too many?
Xi:       too many is when you no longer have space to hold more
DontKnow: too many is when you have to use binoculars to view them because
          they're too far away.
marcie:   there you go
marcie:   too many is when you start to have delusions you actually *are* an
          evil overlord
janet:    ahahahahahah
janet:    yes!

				-- janet with technology questions
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 August 2008

%%

cerby:    want to hear about how I really should take a healthy dump before I
          get in the car for a 30 minute trip?
*** xi-afk is now known as Xi
cerby:    that got Xi to wake up
Xi:       whoa
Xi:       turd talk is the great awakener for any conversation I think
cerby:    indeed.
marcie:   ha
marcie:   was it turdtacular?
cerby:    speaking of turds, I wonder where ed is.
cerby:    it is not yet turdtacular.
cerby:    although, the FlavaFlav is starting to turtle a bit.
Xi:       so its gonna come out with a huge clock around it?
Xi:       that's gonna sting
marcie:   and pimp glasses
marcie:   and an angry sidekick 
marcie:   werd
cerby:    and it's going to be darker than a black hole's asshole.
cerby:    :)
cerby:    the clock will just be ancillary.
Xi:       Public Enema
cerby:    YES!@#

				-- cerb's new band
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 August 2008

%%

Xi:       sure would be nice if you could remotely cut someone's hands off
Xi:       on the cheap
marcie:   wouldn't it though?
Xi:       some idiot luser decided to plug two data jacks on the call floor in
          india together
Xi:       then they wondered why the network went bye bye
cerby:    HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a
          device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet
marcie:   nice
cerby:    stab face, cut hands off, either one works.
Xi:       yes, face stabbing would be fine
Xi:       especially if it was with something dull, like a volkswagen

				-- Xi full of BOFHly rage
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 July 2008

%%

Vanyel:   no cameras
Vanyel:   cameras here are as verbotten as guns
Vanyel:   either will get you fired instantly
ed:       what about deepthroating in the stalls
Vanyel:   corporate policy is silent on that.
Vanyel:   so yes, you and cerby COULd work here.
cerby:    I'd be your VP inside of a week.
ed:       just like I could pearl necklace you
Vanyel:   ed. ed. ed.
Vanyel:   how many times do I have to tell you
Vanyel:   I know you have a hard time getting it trhough your skull
Vanyel:   but we ARENT TOGETHER anymore.
Vanyel:   it's OVER.
Vanyel:   :P
ed:       it's not over, baby.
Vanyel:   dont make me get that restraining order.
ed:       disregard the package coiming in the mail, then.
cerby:    I'll show you a package,
cerby unfs

				-- ed learning to let go
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 July 2008

%%

cerby:    man 
cerby:    humanity needs to find a way to generate power from the bouncing
          action of brasts
cerby:    like, on--body cell phone chargers or something
cerby:    mmm breasts
marcie:   i totally agree

				-- cerb coming up with a brilliant idea
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 July 2008

%%

cerby:    awesome.
cerby:    my next 7 servers have just been named: Shit. Piss. Fuck. Cunt.
          Cocksucker. Motherfucker. Tits.
cerby:    "yeah, that server is down. Logging onto tits now"
janet:    tits is up?
cerby:    indeed.
cerby:    when the monitoring shows it's working, it shall report "tits up."
janet:    :D
Xi:       motherfucker, motherfucker just died, cocksucker is taking over but
          piss, shit, and cunt are showing high load averages
cerby:    "nah, tits is up, but cunt is down."
Xi:       that's the kind of NOC to work in 

				-- NOC of obscenity
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 June 2008

%%

ed:       bag fucking douche
ed:       this fucking math faculty is why some animals eat their young

				-- ed at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 March 2008

%%

Vanyel:   mmm poptarts
Vanyel:   I had some for breakfast.
Vanyel:   I am going to get fat again working this job.
Vanyel:   hopefully the goddamn dog will help keep me mobile
ed:       you are destined to be a fatass
ed:       when my people finally take over, I'll save you for making candles
Vanyel:   :(
ed:       there is something special in the way jew fat burns
Vanyel:   I dont want to be a candle
Vanyel:   I'd rather be soap :(
ed:       what are your feelings on lampshades?
Vanyel:   negative.
ed:       ok
ed:       we'll recover the bus seats with you
ed makes a check next to leos name

				-- ed the facist
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 March 2008

%%

saundo:   how do I get to sleep?
Vanyel:   OK DOORS
Vanyel:   SWIIING
saundo:   poetry, that'll work

				-- Vanyel waxing poetic for saundo
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 March 2008

%%

Vanyel:   jesus you all are quiet as fuck
cerby:    shhh, masturbating
Vanyel:   damnit

				-- Vanyel interrupting
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 March 2008

%%

janet:    ugh
janet:    i hate VCS, while we're at it
janet:    and oracle
janet:    and whatever genetic stock they grow DBAs in vats from
janet:    i think they're related to bread mold
marcie:   heheh
Vanyel:   I work with a white one that speaks english.
janet:    must be a sport
Vanyel:   I think he was one of the plants they make dba's from via clippings
janet:    careful, they reproduce via budding
janet:    watch out for bulging abdomens

				-- janet with a warning
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 March 2008

%%

marcie:   and now, for my next trick
marcie:   i will make my ipod disappear
marcie:   damnit
saundo:   the ipod clapper
saundo:   just remember where you got the idea
marcie:   hahaha
marcie:   i nub j00
saundo:   just clp twice, and it'll play a random song from your ipod
saundo:   but will PREFER anything that annoys the piss out of anyone within
          earshot
marcie:   obviously
marcie:   like
marcie:   the macarena
marcie:   "come on eileen"
saundo:   don't do it
marcie:   "it's a small world"
marcie:   YES
marcie:   I DID IT
saundo:   if you say.. ARUGHGHS"U#(UR}_$#
saundo:   YOU WENT THERE
marcie:   oh yes
marcie:   yes i did
marcie:   it's been *that* kind of day
saundo:   #@$#$!@$#%#%&*)(#%NO CARRIER
marcie:   DON'T LET'S START
saundo:   i demand you leave now, get drunk on the way home AND THEN tap some
          ass when you get there
marcie:   what up
saundo:   it is not enough that you win, I must also lose
marcie:   awesome

				-- saundo and marcie battling it out
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 March 2008

%%

ed:       holy douchebags batman
ed:       I said
ed:       HOLY FUCKING DOUCHEBAGS BATMAN
ed:       PLEASE STOP RUBBING YOUR BATCOCK ON ME

				-- ed twitching
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 March 2008

%%

marcie:   i dreamed last night i was having sex with courteney cox
marcie:   it was gross
cerby:    sourtney cox of dirt fame, or first year of friends fame?
cerby:    she didn't look nearly as foul on the first season of friends.
marcie:   i no longer remember, as she was naked and did not have a head
marcie:   so she looked kind of like a plucked chicken
marcie:   i'm sure this means something
marcie:   but i don't think i want to know what

				-- marcie's subconscious hard at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 February 2008

%%

Moni:     my boss just quit
Moni:     this should be interesting
marcie:   ha
Moni:     on the same day that Fidel Castro resigns
Moni:     coincidence?

				-- Moni's boss is a bad man
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 February 2008

%%

cerby:    i've got roger Waters playing...
cerby:    man i miss, kinda, the days when i could spend an entire day
          listening to RW and Pink Floyd and light up a joint and veg in front
          of the boob tube.
cerby:    getting a blowjob from a cute girl at hte time didn't hurt either.
ed:       yes
ed:       even if that last bit was actually the dog licking peanutbuter off
          your balls
cerby:     never had a dog.
ed:       and look at it this way; all that hardwork and dedication laned you
          in
ed:       IT
ed:       isn't it great
cerby:    yeah
cerby:    hmmm

				-- cerb with a dawning realization
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 February 2008

%%

cerby:    drank a whole bottle of wine at dinner last night
cerby:    woke up this morning, and i swear the cat had a 3rd eye.

				-- cerb, hung over
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 February 2008

%%

ed:       it has a menu-config, which is worthless
ed:       it has a cli
ed:       which tries to look like cisco, but works like a donkey fucking a
          poodle
ed:       if the HP CLI were Ron Jeremy, he'd be fucking Flavor Flave in a
          giant above ground pool filled with feces.

				-- ed on HP ProCurve switches
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 February 2008

%%

Vanyel:   you caucused ed?
Vanyel:   who did you vote fer
ed:       the Bamster
ed:       it helped that everytime they showed a picure of him, I envisioned
          him skull fucking hillary with Mitt's cock by cleverly ramming a
          broomhandle up his ass to stiffen it.
ed:       "GO OBAMA"
Vanyel:   grin
marcie:   ahahaha
ed:       funny thing is
ed:       Mitt didn't cum until my mindseye brought in Guiliani  slathered in
          mayo rolling around with a ballgag in a aboveground swimming pool
          filled with 20's and more mayo.
ed:       Huckabee just kept to himself, mostly, and jacked off in the corner
          to some sections of the bible he had premarked; I think one of them
          had to do with sadom and gamorra
marcie:   ahahahahahahahha
marcie:   oh my god dude
marcie:   you are a master of squick
marcie:   i bet cheney was in there somewhere
marcie:   probably taking a bounce on W
ed:       W and C are i a different league
ed:       they don't mayo wrestle in 30's
ed:       20's
ed:       they have a custom underground enclosure with 2' thick lexan backlit
          with blacklights and neon, with spinners on the sides
ed:       in it they have constant influx of arabian virgins that they bleed
ed:       and it's not 20's
ed:       it's 1000 bills
ed:       and double eagle gold coins
ed:       W has his own
ed:       and it's all mahogany, and it looks like a top tier conference room
          table
ed:       he pays white guys with blond hair and cowboy hats to lash him with
          dried bull penises
marcie:   ahaahahhahaa
ed:       I'm not sure what sort of liquid he prefers
ed:       I suspect it's pre-cum laced with cocaine
marcie:   doubtless, without a doubt
				
				-- doing our duty as patriotic americans!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 February 2008

%%

ed:       midget scat interspecies erotica
ed:       with cum on top
janet:    oogh

				-- janet, unsettled
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 February 2008

%%

Vanyel:   I can crash my macbook by inserting a DVD
ed:       insert it shiny-side-down you dipshit

				-- Leo's mac
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 February 2008

%%

janet:    i brought lockpicks in to work today
janet:    i think things are going downhill

				-- janet at the job
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 January 2008

%%

janet watches siebel gracefully fall to the earth and land in the style of the
          tunguska meteorite

				-- janet having a good day at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 January 2008

%%

cerby:    quick!
cerby:    how do you unarchive a .cpio file?
cerby:    ...correctly :)
ed:       lineprinter?
cerby:    pahah

				-- ed the helpdesk
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 January 2008

%%

ed:       first week of classes
ed:       the T&A is back
ed:       it's -7
ed:       and they'r still scantily clad
ed:       Moni: I need your professional opinion on this; WTF
ed:       it's too fucking cold to have your mammarys busting out
ed:       I'd expect.
Moni:     T&A ..isn't it cold
Moni:     ?
ed:       Tits and Ass
ed:       I know
ed:       what sort of brainstem problem causes this?
ed:       some sort of whoremoan?
Moni:     ya
Moni:     that was my thought
Moni:     it's too cold for tits to be hanging out
ed:       maybe it is an unanswerable question
ed:       and we are meant only to bask in it's result
Moni:     perhaps
Moni:     let us bask
Moni:     :)
ed:       I need a lapel cam

				-- ed at college
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 January 2008

%%

marcie:   so facebook is making zillions, presumbably
saundo:   s/making/costing/
marcie:   so that people can poke each other with sharp sticks and pretend to
          be zombie vampires
marcie:   and take movie quizzes
marcie:   i hate the world

				-- marcie on social networking
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 January 2008

%%

Vanyel:   cpu spike between 10am and 2am every night
Vanyel:   whats teh first thing YOU'D think of?
marcie:   backups
Vanyel:   SEE?
janet:    young lust

				-- janet's CPU load is spiking
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 January 2008

%%

ed:       you're more worthless than a tampon in a sumo camp

				-- ed insulting everyone
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 January 2008

%%

Vanyel:   tishy!
Vanyel:   holy crap
Vanyel:   nice to see you here again
tishy:    vanley!  :)
tishy:    thanks, i was bored *grin*
cerby:    must have been.
cerby:    no one comes here unless they are bored or about to commit suicide
cerby:    I'm not sure if we help or hurt the latter
cerby:    but entertainment is provided either way.

				-- cerb the entertainer
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 December 2007

%%
janet:    you know
janet:    people look at you funny if you are running after someone on the
          street yelling "avaunt, avaunt!"

	  			-- janet the knight, or something
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 December 2007

%%

marcie:   i have the goddamn dreidel song stuck in my head
marcie:   HELP MEEEE
ed:       fuck yew, jew.
ed:       jewcupational hazard

				-- ed the jewgrinch
				 Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 December 2007

%%

Moni:     I'll get yelled at for not answering my email
ed:       that does suck
marcie:   feh
ed:       would you like to suck?
*** Moni has been disconnected
marcie:   guess not

				-- Moni, who does not suck
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 December 2007

%%

Vanyel:   NSDOMAIN bitchfolio
Vanyel:   hint: try a TLD
ed:       what the fuck are you on about?
ed:       dont' you have a cat to milk?

				-- Leo the catfarmer
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 December 2007

%%

Paris:    <3 horse sperm

				-- Paris's love
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 November 2007

%%

cerby:    my kitty is eating pre-shredded documents
cerby:    I hope she doesn't figure out how to use my credit card
cerby:    i'm gonan be pissed if i see 20 anchovie pizzas with extra
          anchovies.

	  			-- cerb's cat plotting
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 November 2007

%%

cerby:    it's still weird to hear you talk about kids.
cerby:    (tho, i think i'd have the same reaction if Moni did it)
marcie:   yeah i bet
marcie:   it's weird to hear myself talk about having kids :)
janet:    it doesn't get less weird over time :p
janet:    though your tolerance for weird stuff goes way up
marcie:   heheh
marcie:   sooo true
janet:    and i no longer fear any bodily fluids
marcie:   oh, absolutely
cerby:    T
cerby:    M
cerby:    I
janet:    and yes, oxy-clean really does take yellowgreen baby poop stains out
          of grout
marcie:   once you've deal with vomit and shit, the rest is no big deal
marcie:   :D
cerby declares the worlds largest and most severe party foul on janet
cerby:    *FWEEEEEEP*
janet:    hah

				-- the few, the proud, the parents!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 November 2007

%%

marcie:   woo
marcie:   quote file fix
marcie flexes her geek muscles
ed flexes his phallis
cerby:    THAT is your geek muscle?
cerby:    you must be an mcse.

				-- g33k mu$c13
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 November 2007

%%

Vanyel:   dude
Vanyel:   my wife wants to take your ugly ass out to dinner
Vanyel:   youre my only acquatance she likes
marcie:   ahahaha
marcie:   i take offense to that ;)
Vanyel:   well ok, one of few.
cerby:    and i thought her standards were low when she married you.
Vanyel:   thats it exactly.
Vanyel:   ed proves it!
Vanyel:   joey not so much
marcie:   aw
cerby:    proud of that, are ye?
Vanyel:   I think she's classier than us
Vanyel:   my wife is just as broken as I am, tahts why we work so well
          together
marcie:   werd
cerby:    she's got breasts, she's automatically at least 2 steps above men.
marcie:   i am not classy
marcie:   thank god
Vanyel:   you are classier.
Vanyel:   I didnt say you were classy per se
ed:       hahahahahaha
marcie:   fucking a

				-- marcie, the classy dame
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 November 2007

%%

ed curses mail app
ed:       FUCK YOU
ed:       FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
ed:       fucking mail app fucking pile of shit fucking turd
ed:       fucking shitbrick golden fucking goose anus fucking monkey feces
          shitball 3 fingered fucking cocksucking whore
ed:       fuck
ed:       disk *almost* fills on my mac (like 500mb)
ed:       and mail.app chugs its config file like a fucking hooker chugs a
          champagne flute full of goddamned aids
marcie:   tell us how you really feel!
marcie:   don't hold it in!
ed:       fucking shit-cum guzzling pile of fucking ratshit
ed:       now ...
ed:       it crashes
ed:       fucking whoreass pile of shit
marcie:   feel the love
marcie:   ... of thunderbird
ed:       thuderburd sucks more
ed:       so much more
ed:       my intesintes are sucked out of my ass
ed:       crammed back down my throat
ed:       after having been filled with whale shit
ed:       by a garden gnome that looks like captain kirk
ed:       thats how much thunderbird sucks
marcie:   ahahahahaha

				-- ed's righteous rant
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 November 2007

%%

cerby:    you are a flaming pile of poo
ed:       and you're missing your flexible applicator tip

				-- cerb + ed 4ever
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 October 2007

%%

ed:       silly dykish CS ta came in to have her door access fixed
ed:       of course she didn't thank me.
ed:       hizzho
ed:       see if I help
ed:       next time
cerby:    i thought you had a softspot for dykes?
cerby:    or maybe you think all dykes have soft spots.
cerby:    i can't remember which.
ed:       she could have been fucking nice
ed:       christ
ed:       I could be a cross dresser with this hair
ed:       have some solidarity you fucking bull bitch

				-- ed the activist
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 October 2007

%%

ed:       dude
ed:       one of my coworkers whose been an admin for like 20 years had never
          seen goatse
ed:       until about 3 minutes ago
DontKnow: smart admin
DontKnow: until about 3 minutes ago
ed:       yup

				-- ph34r goatse
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 September 2007

%%

ed:       The University has just received an anonymous email threat
          indicating that four pipe bombs are on campus grounds and buildings.
           If you identify anything suspicious resembling a pipe bomb, p
marcie:   lovely
ed:       have to give my bike the once-over before I leave.
marcie:   ahaha
ed:       make sure it's not got any extra dangerous cargo
marcie:   just your regular, ordinary midget slave
marcie:   attached underneath the seat
ed:       little douchebag has been clamoring for a raise
marcie:   tell him to clean your sweaty nutsack and stfu
ed:       I told him to STFU and be glad that he hasn't lost any weight since
          I changed his kibble to baby foreskins.
marcie:   ahahahah
ed:       I said "Listen here you vertically challenged little evolutionary
          corn-nibblet"
ed:       "Do you want to spend the night in the fridgerator again?"
ed:       and then I beat him sensless with a dead squirrel I found on the way
          to the office
marcie:   as you damn well should have
marcie:   next thing you know he's going to want to form a union with the
          other bike midget slaves!
marcie:   little tool
ed:       I cut his tongue out
ed:       he can't talk to them
ed:       tho
ed:       they have this primitive grunt/squaek/fart sort of language
ed:       little bastards
marcie:   yes
marcie:   i've noticed that

				-- midgets redeux
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 August 2007

%%

cuinhell: goddammit, can't find my wireless card
Al:       look in the third slot from the middle
cuinhell: the correct answer was, look on the floor at then end of the desk in
          the pile of phone cable
marcie:   well naturally
cerby:    that's EXACTLY where a wireless card should be.
cerby:    In the midst of a bunch of phone cables.
cuinhell: i think it was cross-training

				-- cuinhell's equipment gaining knowledge
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 August 2007

%%

cuinhell: this is sad.  email and en on this monitor.  center system is vpn'd
          to work, right system is remoted into the G5 in my bedroom watching
          it rip cds
cuinhell: i need something for the 4th monitor to do.
marcie:   the answer is obvious
marcie:   pr0n!
cuinhell: marcie
cuinhell: you are a genius, as always :)
marcie:   that's damn right.

				-- marcie with the answers
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 August 2007

%%

ed:       sup kessy
Kestrel:  nuttin much, TGIF
Kestrel:  fighting with stupid german engineers
Kestrel:  hope to start an international incident
Kestrel:  they should stick to something they are good at... like genocide

				-- Kesticle the patriotic American
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 June 2007

%%

*** Paris has entered room 'Main'
cerby:    paris, you salty bitch.
Paris:    i shower occasionally
Paris:    i suppose i should have rebutted the bitch before the salty

				-- Paris giving pause for thought
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 June 2007

%%

Vanyel:   and rach and I are officially married in the state of Texas now,
          even though wqe've been commonlaw for ages now
Moni:     vpmht
Moni:     er
Moni:     ya
Moni:     congrats!
Moni:     that's so exciting :)
Vanyel:   thanks :D
Vanyel:   not really
Vanyel:   really exciting is when we have a real ceremony
Moni:     what made you decide to do that today?
Vanyel:   well i had nothing better to do
Vanyel:   and she had nothing better to do
Vanyel:   :D
Moni:     rofl

				-- Vanyel's passionate affair
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 June 2007

%%

Torgo:    *Does a song and dance* It's the (now) yearly visit to EN!
cerby:    you want a biscuit or sumn'?
Torgo:    Mmmm ... biscuit ....
marcie:   torgogreg!
Torgo waves
Torgo sighs. Coming to EN makes me feel like sitting on the front porch and
          reminiscing to young children about how all this internet used to be
          farmland, as far as they eye could see.
cerby:    put a buttplug in it, fuckbasket.
Torgo:    It's good to see cerb is still full of sunshine and candy elves.
marcie:   :D

				-- Torgo's annual visit
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 June 2007

%%

ed:       it's not a shitty thing!
ed:       it's an opening!
marcie:   damn right
marcie:   that place sucked, fuck them in the goatass
ed:       if his moms uterus hadn't laid him off, where would he be today,
          besides the guinness book of records?
cerby:    true enough.
cerby:    he'd be a 40th trimester abortion
cerby:    and, well, while that's letterman-esque and all that, it's no pillow
          talk discussion.
ed:       or he'd be like that hairy talking mass extracted from a gall
          bladder you read about at the supermarket
cerby:    Pres. bBush?

				-- Leo the laid-off for President
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 June 2007

%%

ed:       leobaby
ed:       it's all good
ed:       the suck was impending.
ed:       get your high heels and lipbalm ready, you is going ot be sucking
          interview cock, and ye shall prevail.
marcie:   fuckin' A
marcie:   you will kick ass, for you are made of awesome
ed:       you piss excellence
ed:       and the pustules on your cock ooze perfection
marcie:   damn right!
marcie:   and each of your shits exudes the fragrance of righteousness
ed:       I don't think he's listening to us

				-- the gang cheering up Leo after his being
				laid off
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 June 2007

%%

Moni:     arugh..just paid $30 for a mani pedi and smudged my pedicure while
          putting on my shoes. She "fixed" it, but there's still a noticable
          divit in the polish
Moni:     crappy
Moni:     I'll have to go back and complain and make her fix it and then
          they'll all chatter in Korean about what a bitch I am.
Moni:     Look! It's the white bitch with the big feet, back again
cuinhell: lol

				-- Moni of the big bitchy feet
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 May 2007

%%

janet polishes her script-o-doom
janet:    it's my solution to massive dba incompetance
janet:    were i allowed to use firearms at work this script would not be
          necessary

				-- janet wielding weapons of mass destruction
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 May 2007

%%

Vanyel:   since gas is so fucking expensive, i'm going to beg to work from
          home once or twice a week
marcie:   excellent
ed:       I just ride my bike
cerby:    how far is your commute?
ed:       and almost get run over by soccer moms
Vanyel:   20 miles eac way
ed:       this one had that pre-orgasmic gloss in her eye as she almost
          crushed the bike trailer
ed:       she was, clearly, on her way to a romp with her fitness trainer
ed:       whilst her husband busted hump to put gas in that huge fucking
          land-yacht so she could haul her tight fitness club ass around town
cerby:    after he puts gas in the EcoKiller3000, he is off to boff his
          secretary.
cerby:    so, really, it's a happy marriage all around, except for the gas
          bill.

				-- marriage counseling on EN
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 May 2007

%%

devil:    i need a book on butts and bondage for beginners
ed:       dont' put things in that you aren't sure you can get out again
ed:       keep it clean, only the few and the strange enjoy poo
ed:       you have to sit on your ass at your dayjob; remember that before
          trying anything too new

				-- ed with advice
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 May 2007

%%

janet:    laws are only there to stop the dumb and uncreative

				-- janet's view on things
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 April 2007

%%

ed:       man
ed:       my pulse started racing
ed:       I've had a headache all day
ed:       I feel kinda shittay
ed:       ust be alergic to work

				-- ed with allergies
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 April 2007

%%

cerby:    IN JUST 7 DAYS, I CAN MAKE YOU A MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
janet:    hah
janet:    tim curry
sunbeam:  I don't think i'll ever leave chico
cerby:    indeed.
cerby:    I'm a harpo fan, myself.
janet digs around for a pair of fishnets
cerby:    it's really the unlaced corset that makes the costume.
Vanyel:   UNLACED CORSET WHERE
marcie:   on tim curry, you tool
marcie:   settle down
Vanyel:    oh jesus.

				-- Vanyel, disappointed
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 April 2007

%%

DontKnow: the only reason terrists don't drink is that they're all musleums
          living in the middle east.
ed:       sucks to be them
ed:       if I had sand in my crack and no beer, I'd be irritated too

				-- ed with a peaceful solution
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 April 2007

%%

janet sneezes
Vanyel farts
janet:    lol
Vanyel:   farting is ALWAYS funny.
janet starts lighting jelly bellies on fire one by one
Vanyel:   neat.
cerby:    now if you shot them out of your ass, one by one, on fire, that
          would be somewhat impressive.
cerby:    be sure to take video.
janet:    geez cerb
janet:    ping pong balls
janet:    girl's got to have some standards

				-- janet with standards
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 March 2007

%%

Moni:     I had a dream that Vicki fucked me in the patio department at Sears
Moni:     I'll never be able to look at the tables with the umbrellas teh same
          way again

				-- Moni has a dream
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 March 2007

%%

ed:       you don't bloat by nibbling on your fingernails and sucking
          low-calorie white cock, I guess.
cerby:    depends - i hear there is a lot of protein in cock.
ed:       probably less in white cock
ed:       and even less in white asian cock
*** marcafk is now known as marcie
marcie:   morning tools
cerby:    wait a sec
cerby:    asian white cock?
cerby:    that's like sucking mayo out of a bar-straw!
marcie:   good god, that's nasty
cerby:    there's nothing pleasant about asian cock.
ed:       the uncuttedness not withstanding
ed:       it'd be like sucking mayo out of a bar straw that'd been shoved down
          a rancid hotdog casing
cerby:    now that is a foul image.
ed:       it had to be created
marcie:   thanks ever so
marcie:   i'll never be able to look at bar straws the same way again
ed:       no problem dude

				-- eeeuuuuggghhhh
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 March 2007

%%

Vanyel:   Rachel laughs at me because I sing lulabyes to my cats
marcie:   ahahaha
Vanyel:   rockabye abby, in the treetop.  when the wind blows, then abby will
          MERRRROW!
Vanyel:   when the bough breaks, then abby will fall, and down will come abby,
          MERRRROOOOOWW!!!!!!!

				-- Leo being a good cat owner
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 March 2007

%%

janet:    damnit
janet:    i knew i should have worn underwear today

				-- janet with a painful realization
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 March 2007

%%

ed:       there is a fanboy who already has vista and orfice 207
ed:       2007
ed:       out now
ed:       he's the head monkey for the pharmacy college
marcie:   ugh
marcie:   i can't fathom why you would do that to yourself
cerby:    people have their genitals plated in bronze too
cerby:    I think both are equally painful and unexplainable.

				-- paaaaaiiiiin
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 February 2007

%%

marcie:   go go gadget fds_deploy
marcie chants and waves a dead chicken
ed:       doesit have an extra teste?
ed:       I think you'll need a double vagina'd or triple teste'd chicken for
          what you're trying
ed:       and it must be a calico
marcie:   damnit
marcie:   *that's* why it's been puking!
marcie:   damn extra-tested, extra-vagina'ed, calico chickens
marcie:   ...
marcie:   i'm pretty sure that's a sentence that's never been uttered before
          in the history of the universe

				-- marcie having an original thought
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 February 2007

%%

DontKnow: damnit fucker, when I say something was working yesterday don't be
          asking about it today simply because you're looking at monday's
          broken stuff.
cerby:    time-shofted lack-of-clue always annoys the fuck out of me
cerby:    shifted
DontKnow: now he's tryign to save face. he's the one that sends out daily test
          reports and he can't read them right.
ed:       just call him a fuck and move on
ed:       "you sir, are a fuck"
cerby:    hah
cerby:    "meet ed, he's full of love"
cerby:    "man love"
cerby:    "sweaty, salty man love"
DontKnow: no, I want to beat him upside the head with a baseball bat.
marcie:   well duh
ed:       do that too
ed:       but
ed:       ensure that you urinate upon his twitching and bloody corpse
cerby:    werd.
marcie:   mmm corpse
marcie:   it's the good thing about this profession
marcie:   sysadmins can have all the violent and bloody fantasies they want
marcie:   :D
cuinhell: mmm awash in the blood of a thousand MS personnel
cuinhell: calgon, take me away

				-- sysadmin fantasies
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 February 2007

%%

Vanyel:   http://tmbo.org/offensive/images/picpile/Strange%20things%20physics%
          20textbooks.jpg
Vanyel:   if janet ever wronte a textbook it'd look like this
janet:    huh?
Vanyel:   check out the picture, doof
janet:    ha
janet:    yeah
janet:    those, and the ones that start out, "assume a spherical,
          frictionless chicken"...

				-- janet's weird sex life
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 February 2007

%%

Vanyel:   my dream is that James Dobson comes out of the closet next
marcie:   that would so rock
marcie:   ha
Vanyel:   he should come out of hte closet with Ted Haggard's dick in his ass,
          sharing a meth pipe
Vanyel:   IS THAT THE PIZZA DELIVERY PERSON! OH SHIT ITS THE NEW YORK TIMES!
Vanyel:   THIS IS OFF TEH RECORD!
marcie:   ahahahhahahahaha
marcie:   goddamn i love you leo

				-- Leo's dream world
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 February 2007

%%

Vanyel:   mmm fees.
Vanyel:   then the fee for processing my fee
marcie:   paypal?
Vanyel:   house buying
marcie:   ah
marcie:   yes
marcie:   it is teh suq, it's true
Vanyel:   dont for get the fee processing fee fee!
Vanyel:   then the document preperation fee
Vanyel:   then the document reading fee
Vanyel:   the document faxing fee
Vanyel:   the document scanning fee
Vanyel:   the document mauling fee
Vanyel:   oh, and then the overdraft fee because of all the unannounced fees
Vanyel:   which was my fault
Vanyel:   I'm still going to have to come up with like 3k even though my
          sellers are pauing "closing costs"
Vanyel:   oh, inspection fee
Vanyel:   termite inspection fee
Vanyel:   survey fee
marcie:   yes
Vanyel:   lien check title fee
marcie:   welcome to home ownership
marcie:   again
Vanyel:   luckelly no HOA fees
Vanyel:   I wonder what I will find out about next in the month of fees
Vanyel:   I am going to have nightmares about fees
marcie:   ahahah
Vanyel:   YOU ARE SUBJECT TO A FEE FOR EVERY OUNCE OF PEE
Vanyel:   WETHER YOU PEE IN A TREE, OR IN THE ALLY!
Vanyel:   I DECREE YOU WILL PAY OUTRAGEOUS FEES TO ENORMUS DEGREES!
Vanyel:   YOU WILL DROWN SHILE SAILING THE SEAS OF FEES!
marcie:   hahahahahahhaha
Vanyel:   yes.

				-- Vanyel twitching
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 February 2007

%%

Vanyel:   Oh man I love boobs
marcie:   well don't we all!
Vanyel:   I love boobs I can bury my face into and go
          BLURGLAHGLAHLGHLEGAASBARHBRLE
marcie:   hahahahaha
marcie:   yes!
marcie:   me too!
marcie:   this is why i have the girlfriend i have!
marcie:   she might even let you do that to her if you give her enough vodka
          martinis ;)
Moni:     \mm
Moni:     bnoobs
Moni:     and boobs
Vanyel:   BNOOBS
Vanyel:   as I get older, I turn into a more and more typical male
marcie:   me too
Moni:     I've just turned into a bitch
Vanyel:   awesome.
marcie:   atta girl
Vanyel:   no wonder I like you so much more now
Moni:     f'ing sexy bitch, to be exact
Moni:     and here I thought it was because of my bnoobs
Vanyel:   well they help

				-- boobs, bitches, and boys
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 February 2007

%%

cerby:    my sock will be covered in dried horse cum
cerby:    or maybe not dry after all.
cerby:    wait
cerby:    taken out of context, that sounded REALLY bad

				-- cerb's fantasy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 February 2007

%%

Moni:     Anna Nicole Smith Dies
Moni:     omg!
marcie:   what?
ed:       what!
ed:       those titties!
ed:       I know they were fake
ed:       and she was dumb as yesterdays turd
ed:       but
Moni:     http://tinyurl.com/2fh9r2
Moni:     she proibably ODed
Moni:     her poor baby girl
marcie:   holy shit
marcie:   that sucks
marcie:   poor kid
marcie:   man, she looked a lot better when she was fat
Moni:     ya
ed:       she looked alot better 10 years ago when I masterbated to her every
          chance I got.
marcie:   aheheh
ed:       now it'd be like jacking off to a skeleton with nasty demons inside 
ed:       no good for the stiffy
ed:       well
ed:       yesterday, rather
ed:       now it'd like jacking off to a dead, bloated, drug filled corpse
ed:       thou
marcie:   ahaha
ed:       I bet her IQ is atleast 50points higher now, than at the same time
          yesterday.
marcie:   ahahahhaah
marcie:   damn dude, you are so going to hell
marcie:   we like that about you
Moni calmly wipes the diet coke off of her keyboard
ed:       sorry man

				-- RIP Anna Nicole
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 February 2007

%%

Moni:     I had a rather bad experience on Wednesday night mixing codein cough
          syrup with wine
Moni:     dont' do that

				-- Moni the substance abuse counselor
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 December 2006

%%

Sarge:    is anyone running windows vista with a netware network?
marcie:   do i look like a masochist?
Vanyel:   yes
Sarge:    actually marcie yes

				-- marcie the masochist
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 December 2006

%%

Vanyel:   thanks a shitton, man
ed:       save you some pain
ed:       save me having to look at 'em
cerby:    is a shitton a measure of time, space, or money?
Vanyel:   a shitton is 10x a shitload, and 100x a pantload, but 1/10 a
          fuckload.
cerby:    ahhhhhahahahaahha\
Vanyel:   it's a load of volume
ed:       how does a buttload fit into that?
Vanyel:   pantload = 10x buttload
cerby:    2-3 buttloads creates a pantsload?
cerby:    nah
cerby:    it wouldn't take 10 buttloads to filla a pantsload
cerby:    no way
cerby:    exhibit A: ed's recent turd-tacular splash episode
ed:       thats like a +5 butload
ed:       what are we giving as a pantsload volume?
cerby:    a pantsload volume, would be, say, the residuals from 5 pizzas
ed:       I'm thinking either: the seating area, or a filling of empty pants
cerby:    ooh.
ed:       see todays dilbert
cerby:    i htink it's just the seating area then

				-- shitmeasures
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 December 2006

%%

marcie:   because i hate this place
marcie:   and i relish the opportunity to give them all the finger
marcie:   the only thing preventing me from quitting this identical minute is
          that it's easier to get a job if you already have one
marcie:   and i like money.
marcie:   i am planning my departure for maximum fuckage of management 
marcie:   i.e., not come back from thanksgiving break
marcie:   when, on day 3 of my absense they call me, i'll say, "oh, you didn't
          get the email?"
marcie:   "i'm not cominh back, motherfuckers"
marcie:   "fuck you, your wives, and your small animals"
ed:       your children
ed:       your childrens children
ed:       your mistresses
ed:       your grandmas chihuuas
marcie:   unto the 7th generation
ed:       fuck you assholes with superglue coated rebar
ed:       fuck your wife with a syphlittic samon cock with endemic herpes
ed:       may your first meeting with your daughters boyfriend be via a
          screening of bang monsters 4: when pussies revolt 
marcie:   hahahahaha
marcie:   yes!

				-- marcie at her shitty job
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 October 2006

%%

DontKnow: you know, when you ask a question and are told that the answer
          violates the laws of physics, you know you're working in a screwed
          up environment. 

				-- DK at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 October 2006

%%

cerby:    there are things in life better than tripply nested shell loops, but
          if you don't count sex and beer, it's a short list.
ed:       quad nested perl forloops with empty else and if's and no die 
          statements.
cerby:    just had to shit on my vision, didn't ya?
ed:       I had to dstroy it like an anus
ed:       because I am a purveyer of nasty fuckticated perlification like that
          described.
ed:       if's and no elses
ed:       nary a die in sight
ed:       code that if packed, run through md5, coms out with the string 
ed:       "JOB SECURITY" over and over and over.
cerby:    whahaha

				-- cerby getting off
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 October 2006

%%

cerby:    GOOD MORNING
cerby:    PURVEYORS OF CONCENTRATED SUCK.

				-- cerb greeting the nerds
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 October 2006

%%

devil:    okay, it's official 
devil:    i never want to go to a bar again 
janet:    awww 
janet:    got a clingon? 
marcie:   lies 
devil:    my god, this one is the worst ever
devil:    after i fuck him, he won't shut up so i can go to sleep 
janet:    has he moved up to 'stalker' yet?
devil:    i finally kicked him out when he started talking about moving in 
MsDNA:    lol
devil:    next day, note and stuffed animal on my doorstep telling me he loves
          me and begging me to call 
MsDNA:    oh no.. and you had just met him? 
devil:    and now today, a massive basket of chocolates and another love note 
devil:    i just brought him home for a fuck!
MsDNA:    that sounds very stalkerish
devil:    i didn't even know his name until i read his first note 
MsDNA:    hehe 
janet:    ahahahahahah 
MsDNA:    I always hated guys like that 
devil:    well, i guess i'll just have to be happy that i'm moving in a month 
MsDNA:    I go for the hard to get guys
MsDNA:    yeah, don't leave a forwarding address heh 
devil:    oh, he was hard to get at the bar, problem was when you got him home 
MsDNA:    heh
MsDNA:    ugh I need to get motivated
MsDNA:    I need food 
devil:    i'm considering stringing up the stuffed animal in a noose and
          hanging it from the door knob in case he comes back tomorrow 

				-- devil's stalker boy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 October 2006

%%

Moni:     heh..the wife is whining about being fat in her LJ
Moni:     not sure why that amuses me, but it does
Moni:     maybe it's because she's blaming it on a medical condition, when I           saw her eating a snickers bar yesterday

				-- Moni's Big Beautiful Wife
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 September 2006

%%
                                                                                
cerby:    hrm 
cerby:    the EXACT same cat litter in bags (25lb) is like 40% cheaper than in
          a fucking plastic pail.
cerby:    goddammit.
cerby:    27# for $10.49 (pail) versus 25# for $4.99
cerby:    in a fucking bagf.
cerby:    next time that shit goes on sale, I'm buying the pallet.
cerby:    I WILL BE THE KING OF CAT SHIT
cerby:    err, maybe I shouldn't advertise that.

				-- cerby is our king
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 September 2006

%%

ed kicks vanyel in the left buttock 
ed:       lazy goddamned gold bag wearing jew bastid
ed:       marcie: how long until they issue your gold sack?
ed:       have youb een a good jew-in-training and been wearing your practice
          bag filled with lead?
marcie:   yes!
marcie:   i have learned to shamble properly with the lead bag intact
ed:       excellent
marcie:   i'm training my nose to grow into a hook and taking special 
          nose-enlargement pills
marcie:   and i'm pretty sure i saw the beginnings of horns last time i got a
          haircut
marcie:   i'm so proud!
ed:       what about quick mathmatical calculations to ensure that anytime
          there is an opportunity to come out ahead monetarily, you will?
ed:       eg:
marcie:   yes 
marcie:   practice sessions have ensued
ed:       buying the first round, when 3 people show up, versus buying a round
          later when 15 are there.
marcie:   now all i need is my special media pass
ed:       remember
ed:       in the end, the higher the stack of shekels, the better
marcie:   duh
ed:       you _can_ take it with you

				-- ed advising marcie on her jewness
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 September 2006

%%

ed:       if youw ant S&M, go visit Cerby
ed:       workign for AOL for 15 years has to be the longest session anyone
          has ever done

				-- cerb the masochist
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 September 2006

%%

DontKnow: pastry? How can a crossant kill?
cerby:    you've obviously never eaten a 2 day old starbucks croissant!
DontKnow: right
ed:       cerb hasn't mentioned how or why he ate it 
ed:       but I know
cerby:    stuck in an airport at 5:15am :(
ed:       he was monkey fucking around with handcuffs and ballgags while his
          wife was away
ed:       he ended up handcuffing himself to a junglegym with the ballgag
          engaged
ed:       after 16 hours of thrashing
ed:       he was able to dislocate his left hip and flop his leg at a 
          trashcan and knock it over 
ed:       where he found the crossant
ed:       just as he was about to sink his ballgag into it
ed:       Joe Homeless comes up
ed:       and urinates on him
ed:       cerby was forced to eat the crossant and take the golden shower like
          a man
ed:       he is now on the MA sex offenders list
ed:       Cerby is short for Golden Cerberus Eater of Old Baked Goods 
cerby:    dude. pass the drugs around
cerby:    don't hog that shit. it must be good.
ed:       all I did is tough your thigh
ed:       I'm like that one guy from Lampoons Vacation
ed:       I touch shit
ed:       and my psychic powers kick in
ed touches leo's nose
ed:       he's thinking about who is going to steal the gold in the pouch
          around his neck
cerby:    hahaah
ed touches wob
ed:       he's thinking about how many fans have to have 1 bearing removed
          before no-one will hear the sounds of a screaming dothead stuffed
          under the datacenter floor 
ed touches dweez
cerby:    pussy.
cerby:    next.
ed:       he's thinking about the next virus storm, and how tightly he'll grab
          his ankles for Symantec
marcie:   ooh ooh me next me next!
ed touches marcie
ed:       she's thinking about how far away from being an airforce
          tire-changer/closet dyke she is now.  She wants to go back out with
          the boys to the strip club.
marcie:   werd
marcie:   ed is talented
ed:       DK is wondering how in the hell the movers could have broken his
          acrylic bust of Tommy Chong
cerby:    haha

				-- ed the psychic
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 September 2006

%%

cerby:    there's a belch coming that's gonna make my nose hair self-braid.

				-- cerb after sushi
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 September 2006

%%

marcie kicks the fucking shit out of windows
marcie:   brand new laptop 
marcie:   brand new load of XP
janet:    mmm
janet:    brand new pain.

				-- janet the windows admin
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 September 2006

%%

ed:       I stayed at my job for no fucking reason at all!
ed:       I'm an idiot!
ed hangs head 
ed:       sometimes the bogon field si so thick
ed:       it gives you brain dammage
ed:       and I'm positive thats what happened to me.
ed:       I'm a husk of my former self.
ed:       I'm lucky I can still go to the bathroom unaided, masturbate with
          only slight pain, and consume beer in healthy quantities

				-- ed the ill
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 August 2006

%%

ed:       the freaks I see just wandering around in Alameda (freakish by Iowa
          Standards) were enough to warmly remind me of my location
ed:       and by warmly, I mean huge throbbing hardon that I couldn't keep
          down with a brick tied to a short length of rope

				-- ed loves Iowa
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 August 2006

%%

wob:      mmm
wob:      large coffee fart
wob:      yeah take that 
wob:      i think I raised myself outa the chair by a few inches
wob:      oh geesus
wob:      afk I just gassed myself outa my own cube
cerby:    splatter?
cerby:    ahah
wob:      ahhhhh
wob:      I went and did a cropdusting lap around the cube area
wob:      spread the love around
marcie:   ahahaha
marcie:   excellent

				-- wob spreading the love
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 August 2006

%%

u235:     I think anybody that works a help desk should only have to work 5
          years and get full retirement/disability for life

				-- u235 speaks wisdom
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 August 2006

%%

ed:       IT is like this huge money producing boil on my ass
ed:       I sit on it 
marcie:   ahahahaha no shit
ed:       and a bit of money dribbles out of it
marcie:   that's a *great* image
ed:       and I pay my mortgage, buy some toys
ed:       buy more spooge rags
u235:     LOL
ed:       and then I sit and listen to goddamned lusers and their goddamned
          whining.
ed:       and I suffer the burden of the stupid, for them. 

				-- ed's burden
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 August 2006

%%

wob:      no plans for kids really
wob:      not right now anyway
ed:       you can't call it sex if you lose it all over her kneecap
u235:     I have 3, but I'll be down to 2 by tomorrow
ed:       stew tonight?
u235:     lololol
u235:     nah - college 
ed:       so...meat stew
u235:     driving her to the holyland today - she moves into her dorm tomorrow
ed:       sweaty meaty stew with an underaged alcohol chaser
wob:      send her here
ed:       haha
wob:      bring me the gurl, i'll return you the woman
wob:      ;)
u235:     her kneecaps down't count either wob

				-- u235's daughter getting corrupted
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 August 2006

%%

wob:      hey u2 whats up man
wob:      ltns
u235:     nadda - just dropped by to see how many of you got sex change
          operations and who was due up for springer
marcie:   janet's up for her operation in september, actually...
wob:      HAHAHAHAHA 
marcie:   :D
u235:     see
wob:      funny that you bring it up
u235:     U knows all!
marcie:   clearly!

				-- U235 the all-knowing
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 August 2006

%%

DontKnow: the last name of the guy i'm currently sharing an office with is
          Hussein. 
wob:      so
DontKnow grabs saddam smacks wob with him.
marcie:   kinky
ed:       no
ed:       kinky is Saddam, 6 goats, 4 kurds with nipple rings and little cock
          studs around the circumference of their meatsticks, all of which are
          covered with liberal ammounts of unrefined crude oil
ed:       with dick cheney riding W bareback with a ballgag and his wrinkly
          hands burning the skin of his wrinkly cock with their rapid updown
          motion as he finishes with a solid slap on W's ass whilst
ed:       filling his entire crevice with gunky yellowish old man spunk.
marcie:   ahahahahahahahahah oh my fucking god dude
marcie:   i am going to vomit
marcie:   right down your neck
marcie:   and it's your own fault
marcie:   god *damn* that's a nasty image

				-- ed the Republican
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 August 2006

%%

saundmob: i have attained geekery
marcie:   lies 
marcie:   you are a nerd 
saundmob: i am sshing into the nest over evdo from a restroom stall 
Vanyel:   thats fucking awesomem 
marcie:   very good
saundmob: bow to me!
saundmob: wait, crowning 
marcie:   ahahahhaa 
saundmob: false alarm
saundmob: gas bubble 

				-- saundo, the king of poo
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 August 2006

%%

ed:       get to lickin
ed:       how many licks does it take to get to the center of sally struthers
          clitoris?
ed:       only cerby knows
marcie:   god that's foul
cerby:    if my tongue had spines on it like a cats, only 56,000.
marcie:   that made me throw up in my mouth a little
ed:       you know when they get that big they have trouble washin, cerb 
ed:       your tongue will have to undo the work of 15 years of spa treatments
          could not
cerby:    I'm happy to say that would be a first.
ed:       you'd smack your lips and motion maria schriver over to soak the
          taste out of your mouth
marcie:   gach
marcie:   dude
marcie:   i'm going to have to gargle with clorox
ed:       so is cerby
cerby:    haha
cerby:    I'm already soaking my tongue in Lye just from this discussion.
ed:       he'll catch that last dribble as it starts to head down the bonch
          and is a mere 1/4 inche away from Marias asshole
ed:       who's had lunch already? 
marcie:   not me
marcie:   thanks, asshole
marcie:   ;)
cerby:    hah. I have :)
cerby:    marcie - best diet plan ever will be spending the hour prior to a
          meal on en 
janet:    AHHHHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
cerby:    when ed is bored.
marcie:   yeah no kidding

				-- ed's girlfriend, Sally Struthers
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 August 2006

%%

cerby:    left for lunch at 10:30, just got back.
cerby:    i gotta find another job.
wob:      yeah
wob:      hell 
wob:      why'd you come back
cerby:    well, I tell ya. it's really REALLY fucking complicated
cerby:    but, to summarize it quickly: foundry is bringing us cookies at 3pm.
cerby:    :)
cerby:    and I don't wanna miss free cookies.

				-- cerb the good American worker
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 August 2006

%%

wob:      wow
wob:      our nation is a fuckin joke
wob:      OH NOEZ I CAN  BLOW UP PLANES WITH TOOTHPASTE

				-- wob the terrorist
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 August 2006

%%
                                                                                                             
Moni:     bikini wax is as painful as I'll go
Moni:     I find it rather an amusing experience though. Every single waxing
          place I've gone to, has these non-English speaking Vietnamese women
          working there.
Moni:     They chatter way to each other and rip the wax off in such a casual
          manner.
marcie:   humans are remarkably adaptable :)
Moni:     I just imagine them saying things like "Well, I have to pick up my
          son from (RRIIIIIPPPP) school at 4pm today, so I can't (APPLY
          BURNING HOT WAX TO GENETALIA) go out to dinner (RIPPPP) 
Moni:     tonight
Moni:     'course, they are probably bitching about how stinky, big hair
          american women are.
Moni:     heh
marcie:   ahahahaha
cerby:    haha
                                                                                                             
                                -- Moni's bikini wax
                                Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 July 2006

%%

Vanyel:   hey janet
janet:     leobobeo
Vanyel:   if some of my gun and explosives friends get together a to shoot and
          blow stuff up wanna come?
janet:    uhh
janet:    ca
janet:    can i bring party favors? 
Vanyel:   if they explode, sure
                                                                                                             
                                -- exploding Janet
                                Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 July 2006
                                                                                                             
%%

cerbbag:  beat this, MoFo
cerbbag:  Ken Lay (of enron fame) is dead
cerbbag:  FORMER ENRON CHAIRMAN AND CEO KEN LAY DIED TUESDAY NIGHT AFTER
          SUFFERING A MASSIVE HEART ATTACK
cerbbag:  Atlantic City's 12 casinos are all closed
cerbbag:  amazing. Didn't think he had a heart.
cerbbag:  I wonder if the EMTs had been former Enron shareholders.  "man, we
          TRIED, really, we did. and we couldn't bring him back.  Us backing
          over him 6 times with the ambulance was just a
cerbbag:  coincidence
                                                                                                             
                                -- the wicked CEO is dead
                                Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 July 2006

%%

cerby:    I just got a call "the internet is broken"
cerby:    YER A FUCKING AOL EMPLOYEE. BUY A GODDAMN CLUE
ed:       your task, should you choose to accept it is to make this person an
          ex-employee
ed:       your tools:
ed:       a wrench
ed:       a rusty nail
ed:       6 pennies
ed:       a deep cycle battery
ed:       a bucket of water
cerby:    hah.
ed:       intricate knowledge of the innerweb
ed:       goat.se
cerby:    yes!

				-- cerb getting excited about his job
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 May 2006

%%

cerby:    convertibles and motorcycles have a detrimental effect on me wanting
          to work.
marcie:   duh
cerby:    now I just need a big breasted blonde to go cruising in..
cerby:    but she's at work today too. bleck.
Slayer:   i can put on a wig
cerby:    mmm, but then the drapes won't match the carpet..
Slayer:   i shave, big boy
cerby:    it's an awefully thoughtful offer tho Leo, but I'll pass.
Vanyel:   what teh hell did I just offer

				-- Leo coming in late
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 May 2006

%%

*** dweez has entered room 'Main'
dweez:    hey bitches
wob:      hello Mr Detachable Penis
devil:    dude, you have a detachable penis?
wob:      dweez does
devil:    that's so hot

				-- devil getting all hot & bothered
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 April 2006

%%

rain:     it's all fun and games until someone calls social services

				-- rain on raising kids
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 April 2006

%%

Vanyel:    are you calling me fat, janet?
Vanyel frowns
marcie fattens leo up for slaughter
Vanyel:   I DO NOT HAVE BLUBBER
marcie:   but you will
Vanyel:   I am just pleasantly plump.
marcie prepares the steak and beer
Vanyel:   damnit.
marcie:   :D

				-- marcie and fat leo
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 April 2006

%%

cerby:    ahh, I'm doing some parental controls testing today
cerby:    so my job FORCES me to look at porno sites to verify brokenness
Vanyel:   fucking awesome
cerby:    www.jugs.com "Jugs.com - boobs, big Boobs, Small Boobs, all kinds of
          boobs and tits"                                                     
cerby:    some days it doesn't suck.
sirsyko:  yah but doesnt force you to spank while doing so
ed:       and collect your spunk in a cheap coffee cup and leave it in the
          break room.
cerby:    hah
sirsyko:  "hrm, the cream in my coffee is chewy..."
ed:       "smells musky"
cerby:    hah
cerby:    smells musky just made me spit out my tea.
cerby:    you suck.
ed:       ahhahahaah
wob:      ahahahaha
wob:      fuckers
wob:      thats disgusting
wob:      i almost spit coffee all over my screen
ed:       what can I say.
ed:       cept now I know you guys are all spitters.

				-- mmm, protein
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 April 2006

%%

firl:     i learned today there is a KISS tribute mand made up of midgets
cerby:    mmm really?
firl:     minikiss or tinykiss or something
firl:     i'm trying to answer this stupid trivia question and google starts
          throwing midgets at me
cerby:    ya know firl...some people would pay a lot of money to have midgets
          thrown at them.                                                    
firl:     true

				-- midget-flinging
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 April 2006

%%

Moni:     omg..i just saw a squirrel choke
Moni:     My mom feeds the squirrls peanuts out of a cat dish on her back
          deck. A squirrel came up to the dish, grabbed a penut and faced the
          screen door looking in at me. He sat up to eat his peanut          
Moni:     then suddenly started hacking
Moni:     he got down on all fours and coughed (little squeaky cough) until he
          hacked up that peanut                                               
Moni:     which he then ate..again
marcie:   nicely done, squirrel
Moni:     ya..I really didn't want to do a heimlich on a squirrel
marcie:   it would have been awesome if you had, though
marcie:   "stand back! I'm a doctor!"
Moni:     I'm not a vet
Moni:     I'll sit the squirrel down and talk to him about his traumatic
          near-death experience                                         
marcie:   ahahahhaa

				-- Moni the wildlife counselor
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 April 2006

%%

cerby:    A CAT RIM JOB
cerby:    THIS IS WHAT MY LIFE HAS BECOME

				-- cerby's job sucks
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 April 2006

%%

Lia:      nothing says I love you like a 9 mm beretta

				-- Lia the gun-friendly girl
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 April 2006

%%

china:    found and washed my doctor who scarf
marcie:   :)
Vanyel:   oh god china
Vanyel:   you'd totally, like, really, honestly be my dream girl if you wrent
          gay right about now.
marcie:   :D
china smoochies van

				-- Vanyel the nerd
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 March 2006

%%

Vanyel:   a whole generation of kids are growing up that don't know the
          hear1235@#!%$%!@#TWEDS NO CARRIER
cerby:    hah.
cerby:    yeah, kids who can't identify the speed of a connectionby the
          precise sequence of modem tones                              
cerby:    bastards!
Vanyel:   DON'T TRY TO FOOL ME, BOY! THAT'S A FAX MACHINE!

				-- Vanyel, the cranky old bastard
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 March 2006

%%

meg:      Miss Deaf Texas Struck, Killed By Train
marcie:   awesome.
meg:      Authorities said 18-year-old Tara Rose McAvoy was walking near
          railroad tracks when she was struck by a Union Pacific train. A
          witness told Austin television station KTBC the train sounded  
meg:      its horn right up until the collision occurred.
Vanyel:   pee
meg:      i guess nobody tells deaf people not to walk on train tracks anymore
Vanyel:   nope.
meg:      probably because they're not supposed to think there's anything they
          can't do                                                            
marcie:   YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT, HONEY!
Vanyel:   someone should remind 'em they can't hear
meg:      like the blind couple who couldn't get a day care license
marcie:   DONT LET ANYONE TELL YOU YOU CANT WALK ON TRAIN TRACKS IF YOU WANT
          TO!
Vanyel:   meg, do you know that the NRA has firearms classes for blind people?
Vanyel:   that seems a bit odd to me.
meg:      hahah
meg:      great
meg:      how are they supposed to determine their target, by smell?

				-- boarding the train to hell
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 March 2006

%%

cerby:    so last night, instead of being a good little camper and going to
          sleep early so i'd be functional at work today...                   
cerby:    met up with some buddies at 10pm and drank beer and smoked cigars
          until after midnight.                                            
Vanyel:   oops.
Vanyel:   I fell asleep at like 8
cerby:    i think i can taste the scum on the bottom of a trash truck.
Vanyel:   just because you can doesnt mean you have to.
cerby:    yes!
cerby:    no
cerby:    weait
cerby:    wait
cerby:    must 
cerby:    relive
cerby:    youth
cerby:    ugh

				-- cerby, old
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 March 2006

%%

Moni:     I confess, I am hot

				-- Moni's true confessions
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 March 2006

%%

Vanyel:   shes got like 8 kids now
Vanyel:   last I heard
wob:      she go mormon or something?
Vanyel:   no, christian
Vanyel:   shes apparently a hardcore christian now
wob:      ahahaha
wob:      that's not surprising
Vanyel:   I get xmas cards from her
Vanyel:   they are "jesus jesus jesus jesus jesus merry jesus birthday
          christmas god god god god"                                  
wob:      "Jesus loves you, but you still killed him you jew bastard!"
marcie:   ahahahahah

				-- Hope's spiritual life
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 March 2006

%%

Vanyel:   so i'm doing laundry
devil:    sweet, will you do mine too?
Vanyel:   whats in it for me
devil:    the joy of playing with my undies?

				-- devvy with an offer nobody could refuse
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 March 2006

%%

devil:    do you think that there will be a national holiday when bob barker
          dies?
devil:    he has influenced america more and longer than most presidents

				-- devil the patriot
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 March 2006

%%

Beastie:  this guy has his shit together now
Beastie:  well aside from being a pothead alcoholic
Beastie:  but hey we all have our faults

				-- Beastie's brother
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 February 2006

%%

Beastie:  i take great pleasurein destroying my life.
Beastie:  its the one thing im good at.

				-- Beastie has mad skillz
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 February 2006

%%

Beastie:  i think im going to throw away half of everything i own.
Beastie:  im sick of looking at it
marcie:   very good
Vanyel:   sell it instead
Vanyel:   you can buy more drugs that way
wob:      you own stuff?
wob:      I tohught hippies weren't allowed to own stuff
Beastie:  i dont do drugs
Beastie:  im clean
Beastie:  didnt you know
Vanyel:   really?
Vanyel:   how long now?
Beastie:  i dont own anything of value or that i didnt "discover"
Beastie:  5 minutes.

				-- Beastie just says no
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 February 2006

%%

sunbeam:  one cool thing about being pregnant is seeing the inside of your
          bellybutton                                                     
sunbeam:  it's like a mystery you waited your whole life to find out
sunbeam:  it's very satisfying

				-- sunbeam's an outie
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 February 2006

%%

sunbeam:  he's 6'1, 140
sunbeam:  he's like two chopsticks and a head

				-- sunbeam on her boyfriend
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 February 2006

%%

Moni:     I had a dream last night that I took my cousin (who really isn't my
          cousin) to kinky stuff                                             
Moni:     I took her to a sex shop and introduced her to many items
Moni:     heh
ed:       did they like it?
Moni:     very much so
ed:       did you test drive them
ed:       that is the key!
Moni:     oh yes
ed:       the key is the test drive
ed:       perfect.
Moni:     there was much test driving
Moni:     it was a lovely dream
Moni:     just weird that she was my cousin
Moni:     but, not really my cousin
Moni:     I don't have any relatives that hot

				-- Moni's non-hot relatives
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 February 2006

%%

dweez:    hey dave
dweez:    doesn't your life take a hit when you work nights so much?
dweez:    my brain would implode
ed:       his masturbation schedule is adjusted
cerbTARD: why adjust? wank @ work
cerbTARD: it's the american way

				-- cerb the all-american worker bee
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 February 2006

%%

janet:    oh leo
Vanyel:   oh janet
janet:    i've been having a little fun with melatonin lately
Vanyel:   oh?
Vanyel:   explain.
Vanyel:   I took some last niht and had another weird dream
Vanyel:   I think I broke some laws of physics, as well
janet:    i think over time i've chipped away at the boundary between internal
          and external realities in my mind                                   
Vanyel:   some might say thats a psychosis, janet :P
janet:    when i take it before bed i start tripping for about a half hour and
          then fall asleep :)
janet:    i have to say the dreams are really really weird
janet:    watching mr. t get out of a pink mary kay cadillac

				-- janet's dreams
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 February 2006

%%

Moni:     Thousands rampaged through two cities Tuesday in Pakistan's worst
          violence against Prophet Muhammad caricatures, burning buildings 
          housing a hotel, banks and a KFC, vandalizing a Citibank an     
Moni:     breaking windows at a Holiday Inn and a Pizza Hut.
Moni:     so..it's Pizza Hut's fault?
marcie:   allrighty
sunbeam:  pizza hut is some bad pizza..they probably just burned that one
          because it needed it                                           
sunbeam:  but kfc? 
sunbeam:  that's madness
Moni:     extra chrispy

				-- extra crispy politics
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 February 2006

%%

sunbeam:  i'm going crazy muchacha on a brownie right now
dweez:    you are bad
sunbeam:  unborn babies love brownies, it's a proven fact

				-- sunners the good mama
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 February 2006

%%

Vanyel:   Darth cheney wouldnt' face murder 1 if he stuck his hand into
          someones chest, removed their heart, and feasted on it

				-- Vanyel on Cheney shooting his pal
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 February 2006

%%

ed:       dweez strikes me as a guy that has a hand on the knob while he's
          grunting and thinking of wob                                    
dweez:    you've obviously seen the pictuers

				-- dweez and wob's forbidden lurv
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 February 2006

%%

janet:    morning has broken
janet:    like the first oracle install
janet:    errorlog has spoken
janet:    like the first kernel panic
janet:    praise for the syslogging
Vanyel smacks janet with a solaris media kit
janet:    praise for the morning
janet:    praise for my cell phone
janet:    ringing off hook
janet:    :P

				-- janet the poet
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 February 2006

%%

firl:     i just got a call from someone claiming to be "homeland security"
firl:     i transfered them to the other switchboard
firl:     i can't deal with crap like that before i've finished my coffee

				-- firl, awake
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 February 2006

%%

Vanyel:   when was the last time he got a blowjob from you
sunbeam:  he gets them like 3 times a week at least
Vanyel:   what does he do to deserve 3 blowjob s a week?
sunbeam:  i have prego hormones that are out of control, it's not really him

				-- sunbeam loves her boyfriend
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 February 2006

%%

cerbbag:  Also in Tehran, protesters threw Molotov cocktails at the Norwegian
          Embassy,
cerbbag:  ahhhahahahahahah
ed:       hrm.
ed:       fucking towelheads
cerbbag:  Ragheads: all them white heathens look alike. americans,
          denmarkians, norweigans. Let's burn 'em all to the ground!"
ed:       why didn't they open fire with their rubber bullet gun
ed:       this isn't helping the rags out
ed:       they need to calm the fuck down
cerbbag:  and ppl wonder why America's foreign policy can be summed up in 3
          words: bomb brown people

				-- the patriotic Americans
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 February 2006

%%

Vanyel:   my stomach is on fire.
Vanyel:   literally
Vanyel:   I think I just farted smoke
Vanyel:   hold on
Vanyel:   i'm gonna try for a smoke ring

				-- Vanyel the circus freak
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 February 2006

%%

firl:     I don't get people. How can you type 27 words a minute and get 32
          errors
firl:     that seems sort of bad

				-- firl's skilled employees
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 February 2006

%%

Lia:      hell, ever your DNA likes to fuck with me
Lia:      ok that sounded bad
cerby:    WTF are you two talking about?
Lia:      DNA
Lia:      I did Van's DNA profile for him
cerby:    ah
Lia:      he sent me a beard hair
Lia:      and 3 buccal swabs
marcie:   neato
Vanyel:   one of them I think was actually Alex's
Vanyel:   Lia is going to clone me and turn my clone into an unstoppable war
          machine
cerby:    swank.
Lia:      was that the one with one end?
janet:       The Six Million Dollar Mensch
Vanyel:   I dont think so
Lia:      *rofl*
cerby:    of course, in reality, she'll embed a directive that only allows it
          to pick up dry cleaning, chinese food and extra tampons            
cerby:    cuz women are evil (tm)
*** Vanyel has left the room
Lia:      oh no
*** Vanyel has entered room 'Main'
Lia:      ahahahahaha
***
*** Vanyel (Six Million Dollar Mensch):
*** Logged in from pool-71-252-198-232.dllstx.fios.verizo since Mon Jan 16
          09:15:32 2006

				-- Vanyel the unstoppable war machine
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 February 2006

%%

ed:       whoreslut
ed:       turdcakes whoreslut
ed:       hmm
ed:       a whoreducken
marcie:   ahahaha
marcie:   i like that one
ed:       it's a whore wrapped in saran wrap
ed:       that is actually wrapping Dick Cheney, 6 other GOP lackeys
marcie:   ahahahahhahahaha
ed:       and in the center of the meatball is a Homeland Security Mic
ed:       in Cheney's left breast pocket is a picture of F Scott Fitzgerald in
          drag.                                                               
ed:       man
marcie:   damn ed
ed:       my day needs an eject button
marcie:   i fear your imagination
Vanyel:   your day needs a baseball bat and a free swing, ed
ed:       you mean you don't imagine a fence post wedged longwise in the ass
          of a goat when you see W do his little snigger dance on National TV?
marcie:   i didn't say that

				-- ed the Democrat
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 February 2006

%%

Moni slacks
janet cords
marcie chinos
Vanyel boxers all of ya
Moni:     you three are just SOOO damn funny. har har har
janet pleats moni
Moni groans
janet pleats moni 'till she folds
marcie:   werd
Moni lets down her hem

				-- clothed in righteousness, EN continues
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 January 2006

%%

ed:       believe it or not
ed:       I'm turding on air
ed:       I never thought I could feel so annngstyyyy

				-- ed sings
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 January 2006

%%

Vanyel:   great
Vanyel:   democrats arent going to filibuster Alito
marcie:   pussies.
china:    why the hell not?
china:    man, we are so close to losing whatever few civil rights we have
Vanyel:   right.
Lia:      time to look into the EN island
china:    yes, it is
ed:       yes
ed:       I'd brew beer
ed:       and be the local message handler 
Vanyel:   i'll be the token jew
ed:       I don't know that we'd have net to the island
marcie:   hey :P
ed:       but i could setup a shortwave station :)
Vanyel:   we wouldn't need it.
marcie:   i'm the token jew too!
Lia:      cool
Vanyel:   no, youre the token lesbian who happens to be a jew
ed:       you're a rubber stamp jew!
marcie:   okay then
Lia:      I'm the token DNA geek
ed:       you don't have the hook nose
ed:       you come to us with that
ed:       you can be TJ2
marcie:   ahahah
Lia:      janet and I will be in charge of setting up the explosives defense
          system
ed:       fuck it
ed:       whre we put the island
ed:       if anybody makes it
ed:       they're welcome to stay
ed:       but
Lia:      heh
ed:       there is a group sodomy gauntlet
ed issues everyone their own coke bottle
marcie:   ahahah
marcie:   i like it
ed:       that is the last line of defense.
ed:       "well,k you made it"
Lia:      oy
ed:       "but, you're not quite there!"
ed:       "what follows is 8 hours of binge drinking, not by you, by us, and
          then you must run the gauntlet!"                                  
ed:       "gauntlet! you guys have like paddles and stuff?  when I joined the
          COCKs I had to do that!"                                           
ed:       "it's kinda like that, Joy, give him a taste."
Lia:      oh dear
ed:       *flump* *suckkkkk* *pop*
ed:       *skedaddle noises, followed by a splash*
ed:       see
ed:       charter members are safe from this.
marcie:   of course

				-- the EN island, revisited
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 January 2006

%%

china:    i am officially menopausal
china:    and it is awesome
marcie:   very cool :D
Vanyel:   i never cease to be amazed at he difference between women and men
china:    in what way?
Vanyel:   if I had my balls removed i'd be like HOLY SHIT THIS ISNT COOL AT
          ALL!@#$@!#$                                                      
marcie:   ahahahahah

				-- Vanyel is from Mars
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 January 2006

%%

ed:       bone saws, homebrew and pussy

				-- ed's idea of a good time
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 January 2006

%%

sunbeam burps and blames it on Moni
Moni farts and blames it on Russia

				-- Moni passing the blame
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 January 2006

%%

Moni:     wow..I have some amazxingly toxic gas
Moni:     phew
Moni:     jsut thought I'd share
marcie:   nice
devil:    such a delicate little petal...
Moni:     I thought I was alone and let one slip out in the chart room
Moni:     the chart room guy started gagging
Moni:     thankfully he was on the other side of the stacks, so I got to sneak
          away before he saw who it was

				-- Moni, a delicate flower
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 January 2006

%%

ed:       ?meet your sweetheart impaled on gigantic schlongs
ed:       thats interesting
sunbeam:  so delicious
marcie:   allrightythen

				-- sunbeam's strange tastes
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 January 2006

%%


Vanyel:   i'm talking about hilary swank
Vanyel:   not the character
wob:      her head scares me
devil:    she's funny looking
wob:      her forehead is huge
wob:      you could land a 747 on her forehead
Vanyel:   good, it gives me a place to keep my beer while i'm fucking her
cerby:    you put your beer down?
wob:      ahahahah

				-- cerby, sensitive guy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 January 2006

%%

cerby:    hey ed, after several days of the humidifier running 24/7, the cat
          is finally static-free                                            
ed:       hahaah
wob:      touch my krone
ed:       saturation point
marcie:   ahahahah
cerby:    aye

				-- cerby's wet pussy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 January 2006

%%

devil:    yes, i can type with cock in mouth

				-- devil, a woman of many talents
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 January 2006

%%

sunbeam:  i only break out 'floculation' when i'm really agitated
marcie:   narf
Vanyel:   can I call you up and can you say tha tword?
Vanyel:   that'd be neat.
marcie:   ahahaha
sunbeam:  heh, it's really not that sexy
Vanyel:   yes it is.
Vanyel:   a woman shold nerver tell a man what's not sexy.
janet:    uh huh.
Vanyel:   if I, as a man, find a woman with milk poured over her face in the
          shower sexy, you shoudn't disagree.

				-- Vanyel's fetishes
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 January 2006

%%

Moni:     hmm..another day, another homocidal rage
Moni:     yup..it's monday

				-- Moni at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 January 2006

%%

sunbeam:  i lub jake plummer
wob:      you love the hippie beard
sunbeam:  no
sunbeam:  he was hotter when he played for az
wob:      heh
sunbeam:  but i know that under that denver hippie train wreck hair problem,
          he's hot

				-- sunbeam's quarterback luv
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 January 2006

%%

Moni:     I had a dream last night that the wife and I went grocery shopping
          (which we did yesterday irl) and I wanted some pastrami           
Moni:     She didn't want to get it for me and after a lot of not telling me
          why, finally told me that pastrami is made from cow uterus        
Moni:     I realized this morning that I had a conversation yesterday with
          saundo about cow uterus                                         
Moni:     my brain is weird
ed:       hahah
marcie:   awesome
Moni:     I'll never be able to eat a reuben again

				-- Moni's odd brain
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 January 2006

%%

cerby DNSifies his left buttock
cerby:    left-cheek IN CNAME butt
cerby:    right-cheek IN CNAME butt
cerby:    vertical-smile IN CNAME crack
cerby gets carried away

				-- cerb geeks out
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 January 2006

%%

ed:       there is discussion of xserver shit
ed:       soem of the faculty have been pushign for mac stuff
ed:       but
ed:       nobody to maintain it
ed:       I think it'd suck inbetween windows and unix
ed:       it'd suck in that steve jobs Pierre sort of way
ed:       like at first
ed:       steve's lips would caress and make their way deeper and deeper down
          your shaft
ed:       at the 80% kielbasa mark, his throat teeth would kick in and shred
          the head of your cock.
marcie:   ahahahahahaha
ed:       With Balmer and Gates, the teeth extend 6 feet in front of them.
ed:       jobs looks benign and all new agey
ed:       he's just a more refined shark
ed:       he has standards
wob:      he does?
*** Beastie has entered room 'Main'
Beastie:  headaches suck
ed:       well
ed:       as long as they're packaged properly
ed:       he's all good with it
ed:       Gates doesn't mind if his goodies are packaged in foetid shit
          covered with placenta and colon sauce.                       
sunbeam:  ed
sunbeam:  your foulness never ceases to amaze me..truly
sunbeam:  you've got a gift'
ed:       pity it's not marketable.
meg:      no, it's entirely useless
meg:      but it's still special
firl:     "special"
firl:     in a 'riding the short bus' kind of way
meg:      nah
meg:      it takes great intelligence to string together the obscenities ed
          can                                                              
ed:       mahahahah
meg:      it's not your typical tourettes shit
ed:       the sarcasm almsot dropped from your tongue and burnt a hole in wobs
          pants.

				-- ed's special gift
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 January 2006

%%

ed:       see one of my eye teeth is "interesting"
ed:       so I'm always fucking with it with my tongue or clicking/grinding my
          teeth against it                                                    
ed:       I try and use gum to busy my mouth with other stuff.
Vanyel:   dentist.
ed:       I tried cock, but, I didn't like the aftertaste.

				-- ed looking for dental solutions
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 January 2006

%%

Vanyel:   I got rhythm
Vanyel:   I got music
Vanyel:   *fart*
Vanyel:   who coulkd ask for anything more?
cerby:    gas mask would be nice.

				-- Vanyel serenading EN
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 January 2006

%%

ed:       oh fuck me
ed:       I'm crying over here.
ed:       crprttool: I'd still be the Windows Server Guy
ed:       crprttool: I'm a bit afraid of taking that step
ed:       kernelink: remember, even Christ descended into hell for a while!
ed:       I'd also be mail/dns guy too
ed:       and that is unix.
Vanyel:   dude if you have to give satan blowjobs it'll be an improvement

				-- ed descending into hell
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 January 2006

%%

Vanyel:   oh jesus fuck
Vanyel:   Fught Club, the Bollywood Musical
Vanyel:   http://www.radiosargam.com/video/trailers/878files/rs_fightclub_1.mp
          g
Vanyel:   "I want you to rip my dot off AS HARD AS YOU CAN"

				-- Vanyel being all aggro
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 January 2006

%%

meg:      newts is one of the nicknames i have for our big fat kitty
ed:       fatman
ed:       fatass
ed:       asshole
ed:       those are our fat kitties name
ed:       for he is mean and illtempered
ed:       and walks on my nuts
ed:       verbal abuse is key to a lasting relationship with your pets.

				-- ed the animal lover
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 December 2005

%%

janet narfs
Kestrel:  hm
Kestrel:  define narf
Kestrel:  because that is what we called biting the bubbles in the bathtub
          when I was a wee lad
Kestrel:  and I suspect that is not what you are doing
marcie bites kessy's bubble
janet:    are you pondering what i'm pondering, joey?
marcie:   i think so, janet, but where are we going to get a rubber tutu at
          this time of night?
Kestrel:  um
Kestrel:  this scares me
janet dusts kes lightly with corn starch
ed:       be afraid
ed:       with your eyes on janet and marcie, leo is going for the backdoor,
          which lies unattended.
Vanyel:   ok
Vanyel:   now where was I
Moni:     faling alseep
Vanyel:   i wish
Moni:     same
Moni:     I'm exausted
Moni:     ya know..just once..I wish someone would call me and NOT complain!
Moni:     oh wait..I'm a therapist. stupid me
Kestrel:  give me the number
Kestrel:  I'll call ya
Moni:     heh
Kestrel:  and not complain
Kestrel:  YOU might
Moni:     heavy hot breathing on the phone
Kestrel:  at a minimum
Moni:     woo
Kestrel:  with the occasional sneeze from the corn starch

				-- Kestrel fearing for his life
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 December 2005

%%

Kestrel:  and his fetish is... every technology leader(me) has to do a
          "webinar" every quarter
Kestrel:  asshole prick licker
Vanyel:   yeah i'm about to do one of thote "webinars" myself
janet leverages leo's synergy
marcie gets proactive
Kestrel enables
Vanyel gets proactive by leveraging his synergy against joy's knees
Vanyel:   by dryhumping them 
marcie works on leo's action items
Vanyel:   UNF UNF UNF
marcie:   YEAH 

				-- corporate EN orgy!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 December 2005

%%

ed:       sweet fucking jesus covered in KY falling out of an elephants
          asshole                                                      

				-- ed cursing soundly
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 December 2005

%%

janet:    when we repurposed our search engine to try out porn
janet:    testing was...interesting
janet:    all too frequently something would pop up and someone would yell
          "oh, my eyes!"
wob:      it's a cess pool out there
janet hums "internet porn"
janet:    girl on girl on girl on girl on girl on guy on sheep...
Vanyel:   my favorite was the furnature porn.,
janet:    heh
janet:    what an accident
janet:    crawling the web for furniture data
janet:    that job had so many wacky moments
janet:    and now
janet:    i work for a place
janet:    that sells animated cellphone backgrounds of a naked woman wiggling
          on all fours
janet shakes her head

				-- janet at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 December 2005

%%

ed:       every user is a problem that liberal use of sex eduation could have
          solved.

				-- ed loving his job
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 December 2005

%%

ed:       TITITES
ed:       AN A?NCIENT PEOPLE WHO WORSHIPPED THE NIPPLE.

				-- ed the anthropologist
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 December 2005

%%

marcie:   vannypoo
marcie:   my golden little turd
Vanyel:   <3
marcie:   aw
marcie:   feel the love
Vanyel:   thats a cum-filled love balloon
marcie:   i just knew it.
marcie:   you really do care!
Vanyel:   I really do care.
Vanyel:   about what, I have no idea.
marcie:   atta boy
Vanyel:   :D

				-- the love, the love
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 December 2005

%%

ed:       nutkicking!
ed:       make sure you go front/back bag
ed:       that is keay
ed:       seems to me that a couple hard back-bag kicks, and you may solve the
          problem for future generations.                                     
marcie:   some of these fux have already bred
marcie:   not that i understand how
Moni:     erg
ed:       insert tab A into slot B
marcie:   howthey found a woman desperate enough to reproduce with them
ed:       how engineers find a place to dampen their dick is an amazing thing.
ed:       it's like when you find a smelly geek that has procreated
ed:       you're in fucking awe
ed:       "christ, the mating instinct must be almost animal in some people."
meg:      never underestimate the power of booze

				-- engineers in the wild
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 December 2005

%%

Moni gripes. Wow..i'm a seriously crabby bitch today
marcie:   carry on.
Moni goes to firl's library and starts throwing books onto the floor
marcie:   YEAH
Moni:     this is feeling good :)
Moni:     give the stacker something to do
Moni finds the big law books and drops them wiht a huge BOOM
Moni:     I'm being noisy in the library!
Moni:     Na na na na naaaa na
marcie:   hee
Moni changes the homepage on the computers to the SEX WITH LIBARIANS website
Moni randomly removes one page of books
Moni reshslves the books in backwards dewydecminal system
marcie applauds
Moni:     thank you
Moni:     I can be creative, even when I'm in pain
Moni fills up the returned books bin and doesn't check them back in
Moni takes the paper out of the copy machine
marcie cheers
Moni brings a big mac into the library and eats it over an open book
Moni puts on her tinfoil hat to discourage the fbi from finding out what she's
          doing.                                                              
firl:     man you kids are MEAN when it's finals week

				-- Moni making trouble for the Librarianatrix
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 December 2005

%%

sunbeam:  my job's loaded full of dumbasses maybe something funny will happen
          tonight                                                            
wob:      the company xmas party can be a total dud
wob:      OR it can get outa control
wob:      exactly
wob:      anything could happen!
sunbeam:  if nothing cool happens by the time i'm ready to leave i'm going to
          let the air out of all the tires in the parking lot on my way out  
wob:      hahaha

				-- sunbeam's office xmas party
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 December 2005

%%

wob:      word probably got out from last years party that some of the
          employees get a little wild
wob:      like falling down stairs, immediately getting up and getting another
          drink
Vanyel:   i've done that
sunbeam:  me too
wob:      to me that was a sign that it was a good party
sunbeam:  it's like the puke & rally move
Vanyel:   "dammit I drilled my spink!
wob:      hehe
wob:      he had blood dripping down his forehead
wob:      onto his shirt
wob:      but still at the bar
wob:      getting another drink ;)
Vanyel:   awesome.
sunbeam:  that's dedication
Vanyel:   an engineer?
Vanyel:   or a salesugy
wob:      haha no
wob:      he is the director of the customer call center
Vanyel:   ah
Vanyel:   so he's used to abuse
wob:      totally

				-- the annual xmas party
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 December 2005

%%

ed:       so, leo
ed:       I want a pictoral of the 12 day sof a fundie xmas
ed:       can you get that goin?
Vanyel:   sure
ed:       ON THE FIRST DAY OF FUNDAMENTALIST XMAS
ed:       my pastor/molestor gave to meeee!
sunbeam:  oh yay, a paltry xmas bonus 
ed:       A ticket to get an abortion for FREEEEEE
Vanyel:   on the second day of christmas, bill o'riley gave to me
sunbeam:  this company is so giving
Vanyel:   2 holiday NO WAIT CHRISTMAS ornamants
ed:       on the third day of fundamentalist xmas my GOP brownshirt leader
          gave to me!                                                     
ed:       3 replacement billy clubs for civil rights beat downs
Cerberus: And a MagLight Named Roooooood-NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY
Cerberus: 6 D-cells are your friend (tm)
marcie:   on the fourth day of fundy xmas my neocon warhawk brother gave to
          meeeee
marcie:   4 dead towelheads
ed:       go leo
meg:      on the 5th day of xmas Focus on the Family gave to me
meg:      5 marriage protection amendments
marcie:   on the 6th day of fundy xmas the american family association gave to
          meeee
marcie:   6 useless boycotts!
meg:      and they'd better hurry too cuz joey and miryam are srsly
          threatening my marriage or something
marcie:   ahahahah
marcie:   yeah baby!
ed:       on the 7th day of fundie xmas my ultra right news agency gave to me!
ed:       7 fabricated news reports on terrorist plots thwarted by their great
          and holy leeeader!
Cerberus: on the 8th day of fundie xmas my G8 economic powerhouse country
          leaders gave to me...
ed:       ok 8
ed:       yes!
Cerberus: 8 administrations that pander to oil interestssssssss.
ed:       on the 9th day of xmas my wonderful leadership gave to me
Cerberus: On the 10th day of fundie xmas, my local mega-mall marketing
          department gave to meeeee                                   
ed:       hey
Cerberus: 10 overhyped sales for overpriced merchandise that attempts to
          appeal to my inner child's guilt over not getting a pony when I was
          10
ed:       9 aids a scurrying away from litigation!
ed:       mine could use some polish
sunbeam:  heh cerbs was good
marcie:   on the 11th day of fundy xmas my pResident gave to meeee
marcie:   11 impeached administration officials
meg:      on the 12th day of fundy xmas my pharmacist gave to me
meg:      12 rejected morning-after birth control prescriptions
marcie:   YEAH
marcie:   right on!
sunbeam:  LOL
marcie:   nice way to end it :)
Cerberus: haah
marcie:   merry fucking xmas, y'all
ed:       yes
ed:       exactly
ed:       AND A LECTURE OOON MOOOORALITYYYYYY

				-- happy holidays from EN!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 December 2005

%%

sunbeam:  tis the season to get 50 million jesus emails from my coworkers
          everyday                                                       

				-- merry xmas to sunbeam
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 December 2005

%%

Kestrel:  I have a hemmaroid older than Ed
ed:       how old is it
Kestrel:  32
ed:       really?
ed:       christ, it has  me beat by 2 years.
ed:       I bet that fucker is gnarly
ed:       looks like the butt-end of a piece of cut off summer sausage
Kestrel:  more like a hunk of beef jerky that was left out in the rain then
          the sun came out                                                 
Cerberus: you guys are a great appetite suppressant.
Cerberus: Phen-fen can go fuck itself.

				-- Kessie's medical condition
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 December 2005

%%

sunbeam:  great the toner nazi is here bitching us out
*** ayla has left the room
sunbeam:  i see no reason to take toner cartridges that seriously
marcie:   you are correct
wob:      hahaha the toner nazi?
sunbeam:  according to toner nazi i'll 'be taking it purdy seriously when i
          run out!'
marcie:   ahahahah
wob:      hahahaha
sunbeam:  why can't i shoot white hot fireballs out of my eyes
wob:      that's h ilarious
sunbeam:  it's only because i ran out about 6 months ago and i went down and
          took one of her 11 boxes of toner and she's been on my case about it
          ever since                                                          
sunbeam:  i can't wait for my maternity leave so I can just not come back
wob:      gees
wob:      slap her
sunbeam:  no way
sunbeam:  the toner nazi looks like a medium sized lumberjack
sunbeam:  her meaty fists are about as big as my head
sunbeam:  she eats chili cheese fries for breakfast, that's hardcore
marcie:   hahahah
sunbeam:  she's scary
marcie:   awesome
sunbeam:  and stinky
sunbeam:  but mainly scary
sunbeam:  and obsessed with toner
wob:      HAHAHAHAH              

				-- sunbeam at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 December 2005

%%

sunbeam:  i can't get my xmas music to play
ed:       set it on fire
sunbeam:  no i'm in the spirit and shit

				-- sunbeam in the spirit of xmas
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 December 2005

%%

Vanyel:   if I had breasts like that all the boys would like me

				-- Vanyel with a wish
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 December 2005

%%

Vanyel:   so wheres marcie
Vanyel:   I wonder if she got blown away
ed:       NEIN
Cerberus: thought that was anatomically impossible.
ed:       exractly
ed:       tho
ed:       with the proper add-ons
Cerberus: yeah, but would she feel it?
Cerberus: cuz, really, w/o the sensation, what's the point?
ed:       haven't you watched any porno lately?
ed:       I'm pretty sure they feel it
ed:       I mean
ed:       who can act that out?
Cerberus: touche'

				-- the boys missing marcie
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 December 2005

%%

Vanyel:   just for that, you cant share my chocolate muffin.
ed:       those aren't chocolate chips.

				-- ed, wary
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 December 2005

%%

Cerberus: our cat found out today that snow is cold.
Cerberus: and that I get pissed off when he gets out and i have to chase him
          in the snow.                                                      
Cerberus: and he really hates it when i catch him and then ROLL HIM IN IT so
          he realizes I'm not happy.
Cerberus: fuzzy bastard.

				-- Cerberus, animal lover
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 December 2005

%%

ed:       my holiday season is pretty much planned out
ed:       work/drive/suck/work/drive/suck/work/drive/suck/drive/sitathome/suck
ed:       I wish suicide weren't so chickenshit

				-- ed, also in the xmas spirit
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 December 2005

%%

devil:    i usually just kill a bunch of dogs and cats on christmas
devil:    people seem to sit around, open their presents, then look at their
          geriatric pets and say "alrighty, let's go kill the family pet"
ed:       xmas is the season for euthanasia

				-- devil in the xmas spirit
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 December 2005

%%

firl:     I think I"m getting sick
DontKnow: aww :( did leo bring you germs?
firl:     he must have
marcie:   it's the bird flu
firl:     thrax
marcie:   damn that thrax
Al:       thraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaax
marcie:   thraaaax
marcie:   THRAAAAAAAX
Al:       thraaaAAAAAAaaaax
DontKnow sneezes
marcie:   see!

				-- DK spreading the thrax
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 November 2005

%%

Vanyel:   we've got the cats, too
Vanyel:   Alex has taken to sleeping on top of my head
Vanyel:   this cannot continue
ed:       cats dont' sleep with us anymore
ed:       they live int he basement when it gets dark.
ed:       only took about a week
ed:       and now they look forward to it
Vanyel:   we actually like having the cats with us
Vanyel:   it makes sex kinkier when you don't know whose biting you

				-- Vanyel's kinky sex life
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 November 2005

%%

Vanyel:   damnit i'm getting the bird flu
ed:       stop having sex with birds
Vanyel:   but we're in ove

				-- Vanyel the bird lover
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 November 2005

%%

firl:     what is active directory
ed:       microsoft shit
Vanyel:   imagine taking a huge submarine sandwic, filled with tomatoes,
          mayo,, cheee, roast beef, etc
Vanyel:   take a shit in it, and give it to a homeless man
Vanyel:   tell the homeless man that if he can find someone else to eat it,
          you'll give him 2000 dolars
Vanyel:   the homeless man is active directory
firl:     which part does microsoft facilitate? making the sandwich or the
          shit part
firl:     heh
firl:     oh
firl:     that is probably the worst analogy i've ever heard

				-- firl with standards
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 November 2005

%%

Vanyel:   cant slep
devil:    go to sleep
Vanyel:   i tried!
Vanyel:   i miss my girl and my kitties
devil:    masturbate and curl up with a stuffed animal

				-- devil with advice
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 November 2005

%%

marcie:   mmm mogwai
Vanyel:   what?
firl:     you know, gremlins that play instruments
Vanyel:   oh.
firl:     well, pre-gremlins, i guess
firl:     no one fed them after midnight yet
Vanyel:   how do they know when its midnight?
firl:     internal clocks
Vanyel:   what timezone?
Vanyel:   and does DST matter?
firl:     waht do i look like? a gremlin breeder?

				-- firl, gremlin breeder extraordinaire
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 November 2005

%%

ed:       do you nkow how hard it is to stick a quart of junebugs up a dogs
          ass?

				-- ed plotting the dog's death
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 November 2005

%%

Beastie:  ive come to like the taste of wild riish rose
Beastie:  im gonna turn into my life long dream
Beastie:  a homeless wino.

				-- Beastie, the man with a dream
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 November 2005

%%

Moni has a confession to make
Moni:     I have a very late library book. Like...a month late
wob:      firl gets to spank you
Moni:     sweet
Moni:     I'm going to loose the book and then see what happens
wob:      now that's a great idea
wob:      lose a few for me too

				-- wob and moni taunting the Librarianatrix
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 October 2005

%%

Moni:     my hair feels constipated

				-- Moni in need
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 October 2005

%%

Vanyel:   they are advertising KY on tv now
wob:      it's illegal to sell or use KY in Texas
Vanyel:   cool
Vanyel:   gives living in a "dry county" a new meaning
wob:      hahaha

				-- the new temperance movement
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 October 2005

%%

firl:     ok. back to the stacks
*** firl is now known as stacking
marcie:   stack stack stack!
marcie:   staack those books!
marcie:   stack them high! stack them low!
marcie:   GO FIRL GO!
wob:      GET TO WORK FIRL
stacking: i always wanted my own cheering section
marcie:   that's damn right
wob:      STACK THIS

				-- firl being cheered
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 October 2005

%%

firl:     i wish i could get all my daily nutrients from tootsie rolls
janet:    heh
janet:    they'd need to be called
janet:    Total tootsies
firl:     why you never went into marketing is beyong me

				-- firl, amazed
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 October 2005

%%

janet:    something about belgium
janet:    you have to love a country where the national symbol is a statue of
          a boy pissing

				-- my country tis of thee
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 October 2005

%%

firl:     goddammit
firl:     who gets a cake delivered to a circulation desk anyway
meg:      someone who is seriously jonesing for cake
meg:      her regular cake dealer couldn't meet her on her lunch break
firl:     i want baggie-of-cake
Vanyel:   i have a cake square i got from the store
meg:      just don't get pulled over with a 20-kilo stash of cake in your
          trunk
Vanyel:   seriously officer! its for personal use!

				-- cake dealers
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 October 2005

%%

ed:       creme filled midget filled donkey
ed:       the stuff of legends

				-- ed, the inexplicable one
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 October 2005

%%

firl:     i learned it from watching you, ok? I learned it from watching YOU
marcie:   ahahaha
ed:       where did you learn all those other tricks
ed:       some of those *I* dont' even know.
ed:       *wob* doesn't know them.
ed:       and I know your mommy doesn't know them.
firl:     what? the helicopter move?
firl:     i still have to work on the dismount
ed:       the awesome pool move from Showgirls
ed:       I love the quote I saw "it's like a shark attack"
firl:     oh, i don't have that one down yet
ed:       how the hell are you able to handstand on 2 goats?
firl:     the trick is to sedate the goats
ed:       thats something you learn in a country that isn't the US.
firl:     wob learned it
firl:     and they don't even let him out of the country anymore
ed:       you're thinking of sheep
firl:     not since...the incident
firl:     oh! damn
firl:     one of those barnyard animals
ed:       dweez, however, can do it with cattle.
firl:     well, he's talented that way

				-- firl, the talented one
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 October 2005

%%

Moni:     heh..fucking fingers
Vanyel:   heh.
Vanyel:   fucking.
Moni:     ya
Moni:     they finally did that
marcie:   yah!
Moni preens
Vanyel:   YES!
marcie:   what?
Moni:     I'm such a stud
Vanyel:   moni its some kind of law
marcie:   moni?
Moni:     but now they don't work
Vanyel:   conservation of sex energy
marcie:   your fingers?
Vanyel:   when you're getting some, I dont
marcie:   that is wrong.
Vanyel:   when i'm getting some, you dont
marcie:   ahahahha
Moni:     heh
Moni:     maybe it's a good thing that you are moving out of state then
Vanyel:   I'm lying on my stomach and Alex is sleeping on top of my ass
Moni:     maybe we'll both finally get some on a regular basis
Al:       say, did you both hit a dry spell in April or so?
marcie:   oy.
 
				-- Al getting some and marcie getting it
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 October 2005

%%

firl:     ed:       you're like a sexual camel
firl:     oops.
firl:     damn cat
Vanyel:   ahahahah what
marcie:   ed speaking to elric
Vanyel:   must havemissed that
Vanyel:   explain to me what a sexual camel is?
firl:     either you like humping or you can go a long time without sex
firl:     but those are my guesses :)
ed:       yea
ed:       jesus christ
ed:       how often can elric get laid?
ed:       really
ed:       like leo before rachel
Vanyel:   hey
ed:       leo was a sexual camel
Vanyel:   I got plenty of sex
Vanyel:   masturbation counts, right?
ed:       the only thing he banged was his head on the shelf in his closet
firl:     ahahaha


				-- camels and other critters
				16 September 2005

%%

ed:       wob has tits
wob:      that is a problem for me.

				-- wob's luscious tits
				16 September 2005

%%

Vanyel:   one of the things I love about having cats:
Vanyel:   they find things you thought you lost under the couch
firl:     one of the things I hate about having cats:
firl:     they lose things under the couch

				-- cats
				16 September 2005

%%

janet:    darnit, more jelly donut porn spam

				-- janet and her spam mail
				15 September 2005

%%

Moni:     oo..Friday on Oprah: When Your Identical Twin Has a Sex Change
Vanyel:   fascinating
Vanyel:   I gotta admit, since janet started going through her thing
Vanyel:   i've learned so much aobut something that I'd have made fun of
          previously
Moni:     good deal! :>
marcie:   yah'
Vanyel:   I guess god has a way of teaching me lessons.
Moni:     heh
Moni:     weird that way
Vanyel:   absolutely.
Moni:     just think of the diversity you've been exposed to..lesbians, sm,
          transgender stuff, wob...
Vanyel:   rofl

				-- EN, diversity central
				14 September 2005

%%

devil:    what kind of office whore doesn't even have good tits?
ed:       she is a dainty little anorexic slim tanned cunty
wob:      so break her in half with your biker p33n
ed:       I find her about as attractive as I'd find fucking a 2x4 with a
          wet-spot

				-- ed on women
				13 September 2005

%%

ed:       I was born to be a sailor
ed:       cursing
ed:       only
ed:       I'd have to be a drydock sailor
ed:       I don't know much about sailing
ed:       but I can curse
devil:    it's good to have a skill you can fall back on

				-- ed's many skills
				8 September 2005

%%

firl:     heh. whoops. I didn't recognize one of my student workers
ed:       kick him in the ayse
marcie:   kick him in the NUTS
marcie:   NUTS NUTS NUTS
ed:       right in tne newts
ed:       HARD
ed:       until his eyes bugout
firl:     it's like having the devil on one shoulder and the devil on the
          other shoulder around here

				-- firl being tempted
				7 September 2005

%%

soney:    EN we believe is obliterated as the box was obliterated in gulfport
soney:    anyway
soney:    see ya
*** soney has left the room
janet:    requiescant in pace, EN.
marcie:   yeah. 
wob:      ahahahah
wob:      awesome.
marcie:   as i said this morning
marcie:   what a way to go ;)
wob:      it had a good run ;)
wob:      totally!
wob:      Now THATS a way to go down!
marcie:   free EN memorial tattoos all around! ;)
Moni:     well..thas'good news
Moni:     the box is down
Moni:     there ya go Marcie
...
firl:     where do i sign up for my EN memorial tattoo?
Vanyel:   what about EN now what did I miss?
Moni:     it's sunk
firl:     glug glug glug
Vanyel:   figured.
Vanyel:   goddamnit my fridge froze my lunch
Vanyel:   brb
wob:      hahaha
wob:      glug glug glug glug
wob:      that is so awesome.
wob:      I am so proud.
wob:      I am sharing that knowledge with people at work
wob:      it took a fucking hurricane to take out our goddamn bbs
wob:      i had email back from '92 on there too :)
firl:     awww
wob:      no biggie
wob:      i never look at it
firl:     but it Was There
wob:      ya
firl:     other than nebbs, EN was my 1st bbs
Vanyel:   you were on nebbs, too?
firl:     unofficially yes
wob:      long long ago
wob:      long ago
wob:      long
firl:     long!
wob:      heh
Vanyel:   yeah
Vanyel:   I was still in high school I think
firl:     i was
firl:     December 91!
Vanyel:   heck, I was there when they disabled chat
firl:     i got in trouble for having many many emails stored that were
talking about illegal drugs :)
Moni:     you youngins
Vanyel:   ahahahah  
Vanyel:   I think it was also my first non-uucp e-mail address, too
janet:    mm
janet:    being lectured to about cars 
firl:     when will you start lectruing about explosives?
Vanyel:   whose lecturing you about cars
Vanyel:   hasws why have you not smited them yet
janet:    heh
janet:    hah, nebbs
Vanyel:   it was shitty anyway
Vanyel:   I love "The Office"
janet:    heh
firl:     yes
marcie:   i also had email from 92 on EN
marcie:   meeeeemories
firl:     i had emails from greg back when i dated him :)
marcie:   awww
firl:     le sigh

				-- RIP, EN
				31 August 2005

%%

ed:       so once again
ed:       Shrub is dirverted from War on Terroah!
ed:       natural disaster will hide his next several scandals.
ed:       and the rising cost of fuel.
ed:       I think people may get really pissed when they see huge defence
          spending, plus high fuel, plus high taxes, plus dead bodies
Slayer:   with bush in charge you get all 4 in one
ed:       is that like being double-holed plus having cheney shove his
          diseased low-pressure member in your ear while Karl Rove tries to
          wedge his way into your left pocket?
Slayer:   sausage
wob:      hahhah
ed:       a 4 in one
ed:       4 fumbling republicans
Slayer:   3 freedom hens
ed:       2 ravens of war
ed:       and a terrorist in a plan!
ed:       on the 5th day of the war on terrah my fearless xtian leader gave to
          me!
ed:       5 DOLLAR GAS!
ed:       4 fumbling replubicans
wob:      LET IT RISE LET IT RISE
wob:      I'm so happy for this
ed:       3 freedom hense
ed:       2 ravens of war
ed:       and A TERRORIST WITH A PLAN

				-- The 12 Days of Gas Wars
				31 August 2005

%%

Vanyel:   ooh
Vanyel:   google now offers jabber Instant messaging
Vanyel:   right on
cuinhell: because the world needs MORE ways to IM
ed:       yea
ed:       just who I want my imchat goiing through
Vanyel:   well jabber supports ssl
ed:       fucking google
ed:       I trust google with anything about as far as I trust amazon
ed:       they'll change the rules when it's ultra profitable to do so
ed:       my gmail accounts get CC's of all of the mail that my spam filters
          trap
cuinhell: free searchable archives of all your hot netsexoring!
ed:       DATA MINE THAT FUCKERS
cuinhell: Google Search:  donkey + finger in ass
cuinhell: Search returned 60000000 conversations
ed:       GoogleIMSearch: I'm only 13 too!
Vanyel:   ahahaha
ed:       Search returned 5400505555 conversations 1000000 abductions
wob:      hahhahaah
wob:      oh man
wob:      i'll do IM now that google has it
wob:      so I ca n talk about donkeys and goats 
wob:      sheep of course
wob:      velcro gloves
wob:      double wide boots for both hoof and foot.
ed:       yes
ed:       the right temperature to prewarm the lube
wob:      totally

				-- the geeks IM'ing
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 August 2005

%%

Vanyel suddenly realises rachel used the last of the toilet paper in my
          bathroom
janet:    ah, young love

				-- janet, nostalgic 
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 August 2005

%%

janet:    I'm trying to make peace with my tummy
janet:    it's still not on speaking terms with me
firl hands janet a tums and some pretzels
janet:    tums heck, I think I need a team of diplomats and a hostage exchange

				-- janet's tummy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 August 2005

%%

Moni:     I always carry a big yello rocked shaped dildo in my back pocket

				-- Moni the rocket scientist
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 August 20055

%%

wob:      dude. we're talkinga bout debauchery.
firl:     hehe
wob:      that's worth doing.
wob:      most things arent ;)
firl:     ok true
janet:    hah
janet:    damn right
janet:    I could use some about now
marcie deflowers janet
firl:     whoa
janet drops her pen
marcie:   ahahah
wob:      yeah
firl:     good times!
wob:      I'm not in the right frame of mind to watch that one yet, hold on a
          few secs
wob:      ;)
janet laffs
marcie:   ahahahahhahahaa

				-- wob getting warmed up
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 August 2005

%%

Moni:     I've figured out (finally) how to turn off my phone
Moni:     it doesn't even go to voice mail
wob:      hahahaa
Moni:     :>
wob:      you threw it didnt you
marcie:   awesome
wob:      in the lake
wob:      against a wall
wob:      etc
Moni:     well..kinda
marcie:   pager toss!
marcie:   ahh, the memories.
Moni:     pounded it on the desk
wob:      there we go

				-- Moni learning technology
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 August 2005

%%

wob:      so close to ditching work
wob:      boss is not here
wob:      manager is gone
wob:      half of the dept is gone
marcie:   do it
Moni:     ditch
Moni:     go
marcie:   DO IT
Moni:     it's friday
Moni:     go home
wob:      I love you guys.
wob:      :)
Moni:     we have a great work ethic
wob:      fuck yeah
wob:      I probably will at 1pm
Moni:     well..marcie does at least
wob:      hahaha
marcie:   ha
Moni:     I'm a lazy ass

				-- wob being corrupted
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 August 2005

%%

china:    REAL WOMEN MASTURBATE!

				-- china, a real woman
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 August 2005

%%


Moni:     i was at the airport last night in baggage claim and some guy
          standing next to me was calling out to his father.
Moni:     "Hey Richard...Richard!! RICHARD
Moni:     Hey DICK!
Moni:     finally father turned around at Dick
devil:    that's probably what my dad would answer to as well
devil:    and his name is carl :)

				-- devvy loves her daddy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 August 2005

%%

devil:    i swear, i will never again be golf beer bitch in a white shirt for
          six hot guys in a rain storm
devil:    though it was sweet of the boys to keep giving me updates on how
          cold i was

				-- devvy's solemn vow
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 August 2005

%%

wob:      so for those ppl who are clausterphobic
wob:      this is not for them
wob:      :)
wob:      I'm sure i butcherd that word
wob:      and that one
wob:      im on a roll
firl:     spelling is for the weak

				-- firl the Librarianatrix schooling wob
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 August 2005

%%

*** Torgo has entered room 'Main'
Torgo pops in for the obligatory once-every-6-months-EN-chat.
Lia:      hi
Torgo:    Heyo. :)
wob:      nothings changed
wob:      you can leave now greg ;)
Torgo:    *Phew* Thanks wob. :)
wob:      hehe anytime
Torgo:    See everyone next year! 
*** Torgo has left the room 

				-- Torgo checking in
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 August 2005

%%

wob:      all i need is some more caffine
wob:      and I'll be able to kill people through cube walls just by staring

				-- wob, angry about work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 August 2005

%%

*** Beastie has entered room 'Main'
Beastie:  morning
Slayer:   hi
dassin:   hmmm.. do I know beastie?
Beastie:  hopefully not
Beastie:  i already hate enough people

				-- Beastie, sociable
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 August 2005

%%

janet tries to remember 9 years ago
janet:    it's all a blur of republicans and meat

				-- janet having flashbacks
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 July 2005

%%

Moni:     i have never masturbated a farm animal

				-- Moni pleading innocence
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 July 2005

%%

firl:     i just milked a goat
marcie:   ...
firl:     http://www.austinzoo.org/kids/milk.html
marcie:   what kind of library *do* you run?
Moni sighs and mops up diet coke off her keyboard
firl:     virtually!
firl:     actually, i would milk a goat, if i had the chance.
Moni:     I have milked a goat
firl:     was it all you ever hoped it would be?
Moni:     yes..and strangly unsatisfying
janet:    for you or the goat?
Moni:     I think I need to try milking a cow
Moni:     heh janet
firl:     you think that would be more satisfying?
Moni:     I think the goat is traumatized
Moni:     well firl....size matters, ya know
firl:     ah
firl:     i thought that was a rumor
wob:      milking a goat is cool
firl:     figures you would have, wob
wob:      baaaaah
Moni:     goddammit firl
wob:      and it wasn't male!
Moni:     I'm not drinking any more fluids
firl:     ok i'll stop :P
Moni giggles
firl:     it's just.. i'm working on item records at work and they're boring
Moni:     milking a male goat
Moni:     is
Moni:     just
Moni:     icky
firl:     it wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for these sound effects
janet:    depends on if there's electricity involved

				-- farm talk 
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 July 2005

%%

ed:       sucky sucky
wob:      workie workie
ed:       yea
*** marcfk is now known as marcie
Beastie:  i have to work for 2 hours today
ed:       suck and work come from the same root
marcie:   feh
ed:       "pain"

				-- ed the linguist
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 July 2005

%%

Lia:      dry ice is so much fun to play with
*** guest has entered room 'Main'
guest:    wooooo
*** guest has been disconnected
Lia:      ok...
Beastie:  i want some dry ice
Beastie:  mail mne some
Lia:      you can buy it at the store ya know
Beastie:  i never said i wanted to pay for it

				-- Beastie angling for a freebie
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 July 2005

%%

janet:    we almost had an incident when moving
janet:    sebastian dumped out a film can filled with perchlorate flash powder
Kestrel:  yikes
janet:    yeah
janet:    but
janet:    there's nothing explosive in the new place at all
janet:    I feel kind of empty

				-- janet after moving
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 July 2005

%%

devil:    marcie
devil:    i'm bad, come spank me
marcie:   ooh
marcie:   i'll be right over
marcie:   now what am i spanking you for, again?
devil:    sweet
devil:    cuz i'm bad :)
devil:    is that not enough?
marcie:   well
marcie:   yes
marcie:   i suppose it is
marcie:   *spankSPANKspankSPANKspank*
devil moans delightedly
firl:     oh hey. um, I'm bad too. ;)
marcie:   werd
marcie spanks firly too
marcie:   *spankSPANKspankSPANKspank*
firl:     ohhhh yeah
marcie:   boy, i'm living moni's dream
firl:     hehe
marcie:   it's too bad she's not here
marcie:   okay
marcie:   now
janet fires a rubber band into marcie's hair
firl:     when she gets back i'll let her have a turn
marcie:   firly and devvy spank each other!
marcie gets the video camera
marcie spanks janet too
marcie:   marcie:   werd
devil spanks firly
marcie:   *spankSPANKspankSPANKspank*
marcie:   *spankSPANKspankSPANKspank*
marcie:   *spankSPANKspankSPANKspank*
devil spanks marcie
marcie:   WOO
devil:    erm, i know you aren't a bad girl, just got caught up in the
          spanking moment
marcie:   yeah
marcie:   that
devil:    i'm not a good spanker
devil:    i like to squeeze bottoms
devil:    squeezing makes not a good spanker
marcie:   that works too
devil squeezes marcie's bottom
marcie:   you can practice on me
marcie:   YEAH

				-- SpankFest '05
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 July 2005

%%

sunbeam:  i'm leaving in 10 minutes for my starbucks interview
marcie:   goodl uck
marcie:   or good luck, whichever
sunbeam:  hehe
sunbeam:  thanks
marcie:   "goodl uck", of course, is a traditional lesbian saying to wish one
          well
marcie:   i share my culture with you because i care
sunbeam:  how do you say 'thank you' in traditional lesbian?
marcie:   'than kyou'
marcie:   you're practically bilingual now
sunbeam:  hahaha awesome
sunbeam:  maybe i can use that in my interview
marcie:   :D
sunbeam:  to show how multitalented I am
marcie:   you know it

				-- sunbeam the multi-talented
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 July 2005

%%

wob:      i dont know how those dumbasses got out of the vehicle and took off
          that fast
meg:      so unless the car was stolen and they were wearing gloves, i think
          they'll get caught
wob:      yeah
wob:      pretty fucked up
meg:      well adrenaline can make people run fast
meg:      and i still think it was a young man driving
wob:      yah
meg:      so i'm sure he was ready to hoof it anyway
wob:      they were moving damn fast
wob:      from the pic that i saw in the news it looks like they headed
          straight into the house
wob:      didnt bother at all to try and make the corner
wob:      they had to be drunk/high/etc
sunbeam:  what if it turned out to be two soccer moms out whooping it up
          together and they got a little crazy
meg:      pretty much
wob:      hahaaha
wob:      that would be funny
meg:      that'd be damn silly
wob:      just came back from the local yuppie bar
meg:      they were all "yeah let's go thelma and louise all down this
          residential street whoopee"
sunbeam:  yeah with a bunch of other soccer moms
marcie:   that would be awesome
wob:      smashed on their favorite bottle of reisling
marcie:   hahahahha
marcie:   SOCCER MAMAS REPRESENT
sunbeam:  hahaha they split a 4 pack of wine coolers and got crazy
marcie:   HAHAHHAHAA
meg:      forensics will find a barry manilow cd in the car cd player
wob:      hahahaha
meg:      turned up to ELEVEN
wob:      YEAH
wob:      BASS POUNDING
marcie:   singing along to "Copacabana"
sunbeam:  yeah right they were probably listening to the Wiggles
marcie:   HER NAME WAS LOLA
marcie:   SHE WAS A SHOWGIRL
wob:      hahha
wob:      AT THE COPA
wob:      COPACABANA

				-- on an SUV crashing into a house in Denver
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 July 2005

%%

Beastie:  i did laundry today and i have 8 pairs of camo shorts and 15 black
          tshirts and 12 blue tshirts
Beastie:  i should really develop some fashion sense


				-- Beastie the metrosexual
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 July 2005

%%

ed:       anything for allah, anything for allah.
marcie:   ALLAH ACKBAR
wob:      DURKAH DURKAH JIHAD JIHAD MUHHAMAD
ed:       MALABA HAMBA LABA W  W W W W Alfred E Neuman  LABA LABA BABA
          CLINTON-DYKE BABALABA HAMA
ed fires AK47 into the air
marcie:   rofl
wob:      hehehe
ed:       ABKLABHABABLAB!
marcie:   i love all y'all
marcie:   you big freaks

				-- the EN Jihad
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 July 2005

%%

Vanyel:   ill see you in an hour or so then?
janet:    yah
janet:    driving like I stole it
Vanyel:   did you?
janet:    well
janet:    no
janet:    mostly

				-- janet being all shifty
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 July 2005

%%

janet:    I could come by and cheer you up
janet:    though I may not have enough explosives for that

				-- janet consoling Leo
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 July 2005

%%

ed:       I need a handjob and a slappin around by some tittehs
wob:      tatas!
ed:       fuckin nap
Jake:     stooopid DNC
wob:      dirty pillows!
ed:       if there are tatas to hit your face
ed:       who *needs* a nap
Jake:     hahahahah
ed:       tho
ed:       if I want tatas to hit my face, I need to shave my stubble
Jake:     a nap would be nice afterwords
Jake:     the nap of contentment!
Vanyel:   ok i am gonna go eat
ed:       limp and drained
ed:       with a song in your heeart
wob:      and a handful of spooge
devil:    a song in your heart?
devil:    has ed lost all testosterone?
ed:       yea, don't you have, uh, like the theme song from The Running Man in
          your heart after a good lay?
wob:      hahahaah
wob:      ok ed
wob:      weirdo
devil:    um, no
Jake:     hahahaha
ed:       uh
ed:       the song from Dallas?  Or Mcgyver?
ed:       nothing?
ed:       cold?
devil:    depends on how good it was
ed:       right

				-- ed, music lover
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 July 2005

%%

Vanyel:   I want to work for a company that kills people.

				-- Vanyel looking for a job
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 July 2005

%%

firl:     motherfucking students need to stop arguing with me
marcie:   YEAH
firl:     some dick wasted 15 minutes of my time because he doesn't want to
          pay 7 dollars
firl:     dude pay the fucking 7 dollars
Vanyel:   tell him that your time is worth 7 dollars a minuite
marcie:   at least
firl:     he wanted to talk to the person in charge
firl:     which was me :)
firl:     so he got angrier
firl:     and now he's emailing my supervisor
firl:     whee
marcie:   awesome
firl:     oh and faxing our "fines appeals committee" - also ME
firl:     he's screwed.
firl:     i might charge him 7 more dollars
marcie:   ahahahahahahha

				-- firly the Librarianatrix strikes again
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 July 2005

%%

sunbeam:  i think of librarians as kind of like book archaeologists
Beastie:  i think of librarians as porn stars
firl:     me too
marcie:   don't we all

				-- bow chicka BOW bow
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 July 2005

%%

firl:     i got trombone porn spam once
firl:     can't figure that one out
janet:    nice
janet:    I think french horns get me hotter tho
firl:     yeah, i could agree with that too

				-- the hawtness of spam
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 June 2005

%%

janet:    i broke into my dodge once using a zip tie, a pair of sony
          headphones and a straw

				-- janet the lockpick
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 June 2005

%%

janet:    you know how cords thrown in one box will automatically tangle, just
          on their own?
janet:    like some kind of bizarre electric mating ritual?
janet:    we need the equivalent of hair conditioner
marcie:   cable conditioner
marcie:   i like it
firl:     when they tangle, in our house, you get to sing the "cable box
          blues" song we've made up                                     
firl:     it works best if you have a harmonica

				-- firly the musicianatrix
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 June 2005

%%

cuinhell: i need to try my beer can chicken thingy still
Moni:     beer can chicken is really good
Al:       beer can chicken!
sunbeam:  where do you find chickens that fit in beer cans
sunbeam:  because i think it'll taste good

				-- sunbeam looking forward to supper
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 June 2005

%%

wob:      i dont remember much after that night
wob:      except the phrase 'boobie vindaloo'

				-- wob living the high life
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 June 2005

%%

Moni:     oh
Moni:     oh
Moni:     no
Moni:     Jury fucking duty
firl:     uh oh!
janet:    yoinks
sunbeam:  yikes
Moni bangs her head
Moni:     my boss is going to LOVE this
firl:     you love jury duty moni
Moni:     I just get back after being gone for 2 weeks and now I have jury
          duty next week                                                  
Moni:     my poor patients
firl:     heh
firl:     maybe you'll get excused
Moni:     ya
firl:     "um, my patients NEED me"
Moni:     I'll go in there wearing my "HI! I'm a Rehab Sex Worker Dyke Liberal
          Army Wife Psychologist" T-shirt                                     
firl:     oh totally
firl:     it will be hard to find a peer you will be a juror for
Moni:     and I'm REALLY CRAZY!
Moni:     WOO!

				-- Moni doing her civic duty
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 June 2005

%%

ed:       I can tell already that this isn't an Iowa City job
ed:       it's a cedar rapids job
ed:       which means commute by car.
ed:       I am not to be interested in that.
firl:     Iowa is like 5 miles across. suck up and deal
marcie:   ahahahah
ed:       my balls you may tonguewash
ed:       Iowa is like 380 miles across, I know, because I've ridden it.
firl:     i shall pass on that opportunity
ed:       not all of us choose to live in a god-forsaken shithole with
          longhorn steers and conservatives
ed:       and people who drag homosexuals behind pickuptrucks
firl:     we only do that on special holidays

				-- firl on Texass
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 June 2005

%%

Moni:     There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today
          than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should
          be a large elderly population with perky boobs and                 
Moni:     huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with
          them. 
janet:    hm
janet:    this will change the dynamics of elder care for sure

				-- contemplating the future
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 June 2005

%%

Slayer:   http://www.weirdspot.com/images/uploads/monkeycock.jpg
firl:     ok i'm not falling for that link.
Slayer:   heh, it's just a monkey penis
firl:     "just a monkey penis"
Slayer:   it's cute
Vanyel:   I'm scared.

				-- Slayer and his unnatural animal love
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 June 2005

%%

ed:       I'm 30 in july
ed:       and I'm gonna get drunk and rape a goat
Slayer:   why not do something new, ed

				-- ed celebrating
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 June 2005

%%

Slayer:   aww, vic and i just took a "what romantic movie is your love life
          most like" quiz and we both got "my big fat greek wedding"       
*** firl has entered room 'Main'
meg:      bill, that's kinda lame
Slayer:   you're lame
meg:      no you are
Slayer:   no your mom is
meg:      well that's true
Slayer:   i win

				-- meg and Slayer having a slap fight
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 June 2005

%%

janet:    a weber grill, a charcoal briquette, a trussed-up luser, 10gal of
          liquid oxygen and thou...                                        
marcie:   you're so romantic

				-- janet charming marcie
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 June 2005

%%

sunbeam:  i hate it when people ask me the same question 9 times phrased in
          different ways
sunbeam:  it's like they know i haven't had any coffee
sunbeam:  and they're trying to trick me

				-- sunbeam at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 June 2005

%%

Vanyel:   is EVERYONE sick?
marcie:   no
sunbeam:  i'm not sick, just nauseous
Slayer:   i'm not sick
sunbeam looks at slay
Slayer:   well
Slayer:   you know what i mean

				-- Slayer the sicko
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 May 2005

%%

saundo:   hrm. i wonder if Office 12 offers the rumored microsoft dual headed
          credit card interface and 8" wide butt plug                        
saundo:   so they can ask: where do you want to be violated today?
saundo:   as opposed to todays clunky interface of a meat grinder attached to
          your cock
saundo:   which is in the Adminpak for Office 10

				-- saundo pondering Microsoft's new products
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 May 2005

%%

saundo:   it's not a morning if there's no gerbil wedged in someone's ass

				-- saundo waking up
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 May 2005

%%

Moni just left a clinical meeting because the therapists in the meeting
          coudln't stop yelling at each other long enough to discuss patients!
Moni:     fucking unbelieveable
marcie:   nice
Moni:     we teach communication skills and empathtic listening
Moni:     but apparently can't practice it
Moni:     geezus
firl:     have you tried group therapy?
Moni:     we've tried
Moni:     the facilitator left crying

				-- Moni's hardcore co-workers
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 May 2005

%%

Slayer:   i bet sunbeam would go to prom with me
firl:     are you getting a hotel room for afterwards?
Slayer:   i wouldn't take her back to some hotel room.  she's a lady.
Vanyel:   slay'd do her in the limo
Slayer:   we'd do it on the hood of the car.
Vanyel:   I was close.
wob:      hahaha
firl:     yeah, then she'll definitely go with you
wob:      Slayer is all class.
firl:     he's got a flash of MadDog 20/20, too
firl:     its a special occasion
firl:     flask
Slayer:   and a pack of swishers
firl:     yeah!
cuinhell: a bottle of strawberry hill and some moonpies
firl:     how could a girl say no to *that*
cuinhell: few can!
Vanyel:   fabby: easy
firl:     moonpies? wine from boonehill? come on leo
Vanyel:   she opens her mouth, presses her tongue right behind her teeth and
          vocalizes.  Quickly after that, she opens her mouth into a round
          shape, with her tongue down, and vocalizes again                
firl:     har har
cuinhell: cover your ears abby, the man is crazy
firl:     well, we all knew that anyway
Vanyel:   which man
cuinhell: YOU
sunbeam:  yum who's got moonpies
Vanyel:   ok good
cuinhell: SEE!
firl:     see??
Vanyel:   if you called Slay a man, 'd have been hurt
sunbeam:  what?

				-- Slayer & sunbeam, sitting in a tree
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 May 2005

%%

ed:       why couldn't she have tripped and fallen into a chipper shredder
          with a liquid nitrogen pre-processing unit, which was all sitting
          next to a hog lot full of hungry sows?
Moni:     wow ed..got some pent up rage there?
Vanyel:   why couldnt her mom have a 30th month abortion?
ed:       yes!
Vanyel:   ed's mom chased him around the house with a vaccum cleaner for YEARS
ed:       the 32 month abortive event
Vanyel:   now he knows why
ed:       don't taunt me 
ed:       baldy
ed:       you'll force me to do something neither of us will like
Vanyel:   like what, take a shower?
ed:       when I figure that out, I'll let you know

				-- the boys loving on each other
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 May 2005

%%

cuinhell: i had a pet rat named fuckstick in HS
Kestrel:  how did they tell you apart?
cuinhell: the rat wouldn't shit in your hand

				-- cuinhell's pets
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 May 2005

%%

 
Moni:     ohg man...I have a screening appointment wiht a pt who is alcoholic,
          schizophrenic, obsessive-compulsive and has tourettes.
Moni bangs her head
ed:       kick fukcing ass!
ed:       can you webcast that ofr us?
firl:     sounds like a handful
Moni:     just shoot me now

				-- Moni having fun at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 May 2005

%%

Vanyel:   edbucket
ed:       sup baby
ed:       you been all aquiver thinking about me?
Vanyel:   no
Vanyel:   just constipated
ed:       same thing

                                -- the boys loving on each other
                                Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 May 2005

%%

sunbeam:  i'm obsessed with vintage potties

                                -- sunbeam's toilet habits
                                Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 May 2005

%%

Moni:     stupid kaiser fuckheads went through my computer and deleted any
          non-kaiser approved programs                                    
Moni:     like..the oh, so dangerous Firefox
marcie:   heh                               
*** Moni has been disconnected
*** Moni has entered room 'Main'
Moni:     coincidence that I just got kicked off EN?
Moni:     I think not                               
Moni:     FUCKTARDS! 
firl:     they're on to you
*** Moni has been disconnected
marcie:   ahahahahhaa

                                -- Moni fighting The Man
                                Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 May 2005

%%

janet:    grmph
janet:    why is it so fecking hard to add page numbers to a ps
          programmatically                                     
Moni:     you need a sharpie
janet:    yeah
janet:    1500+ pages though
firl:     a few sharpies
janet:    maybe I should jsut get an undergrad
janet:    they're disposable
marcie:   yes
firl tosses janet one of her student workers
janet:    can they collate?
firl:     likely
firl:     you might need to whip them occasionally for encouragement
janet:    awesome
janet:    I could get into that
firl:     they seem to like it
marcie:   i miss having student workers
janet:    I still have carbon paper stains from decollating/bursting 7-part
          greenbar
marcie:   little minions to do my bidding and cater to my every whim
firl:     oh, ok marcie. you can have one too
marcie sighs nostalgically
marcie:   aw thanks
firl:     although, one of mine quit
firl:     so i'm running low
marcie:   kick it
marcie:   sometimes that works

                                -- the geeks and their toys
                                Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 April 2005

%%

Vanyel:   I need to invent a way to punch people in the mouth via th einternet

                                -- Leo the inventor
                                Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 April 2005

%%

Lia:      I went over to the graham center for lunch
Lia:      saw Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Goofy, and Win nie the Pooh wandering
          around                                                            
Lia:      must remember to use the fume hood more often

				-- Lia the mad chemist
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 April 2005

%%

firl:     sometime around 4 am, one of my cats rummaged around in the garage,
          pulled out a glove for gardening and dragged it into the bedroom to
          play
firl:     when you wake up in the morning and the first thing you see is a
          gardening glove you start to wonder what sort of night you had  

				-- firl living it up
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 April 2005

%%

cuinhell: i bet i can trow a football over tha tmountain range!
Vanyel:   I bet I can fart and knock my cat ofer

				-- Vanyel's impressive colon
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 April 2005

%%

*** Lia has entered room 'Main'
Lia:      Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny
Lia:      and that's all I have to say
firl:     i'm glad one of us can say it

				-- firl having trouble
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 April 2005

%%

Vanyel:   but I have a "doctors appointment" tomorrow
Vanyel:   err job interview
cuinhell: hahaha
firl:     :)
firl:     and i'm sure you've never looked so good for your doctor
cuinhell: well, good luck on a positive "exam"
cuinhell: careful if they go rectal.

				-- Vanyel gearing up for an interview
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 April 2005

%%

china:    hmmm, my cats are dragging around a pillow three times their size
china:    right now, Xander is half under this gigantic pillow
janet:    ahah
china:    looking at me like it's the most natural thing in the world
janet:    well
janet:    cats always have a subtle plan for world domination
janet:    but when you sleep 14 hours a day, it's hard to make progress on
          that

				-- janet on cats
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 April 2005

%%

china:    i was just watching the discovery channel, and there was this lady
          on there with a baby. This lady had no arms
china:    isn't child rearing hard enough WITH arms?
china:    not to mention the terrifying inability to masturbate effectively
janet:    ergh.
janet:    aye, there's the rub
janet:    or not
china:    exactly

				-- china discovering a new horror
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 April 2005

%%

cuinhell: i think i'm turning japanese.
Lia:      that could get interesting
Lia:      are you just getting shorter, or developing a taste for anime
          tentacle porn?
cuinhell: i already had a taste for tentacle porn
Lia:      somehow I figured that

				-- cuinhell, a man of taste
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 April 2005

%%

sunbeam:  isaac LOVED nemo by the way
sunbeam:  and we just watched brother bear and he loved that one too
meg:      reservoir dogs
sunbeam:  he likes movies with animals
meg:      that's a good movie for toddlers
sunbeam:  too violent
meg:      it's got dogs in the title

				-- meg, helpful
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 April 2005

%%

sunbeam:  when i put my head down on my desk it sounds like the ocean
ed:       thats just echoing from inside your head.

				-- ed being sweet
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 April 2005

%%

firl:     "what services will you offer to our new foreign visually impared
          student"
firl:     fuck if i know
janet:    um
firl:     i'm not reading to him, i'll tell you that much
janet:    multicultural braille porn?
firl:     i don't want anyone getting all honry in the library touching those
          raised dots
Vanyel:   mmm raised dots.
firl:     see what i'm talking about?

				-- firl at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 April 2005

%%

janet starts pricing 155mm howitzer shells
twinkie:  my my
twinkie:  why?
janet:    I'm having some negative feelings about my work environment
cuinhell: HAHAHAAAHA
cuinhell: that's a way to put it.
janet:    well, work is ok, just not one of the coworkers :P
janet:    and, why make a statement when you can make a crater, you know?
twinkie:  true

				-- janet making, erm, a statement
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 April 2005

%%

*** Moni is now known as Macamoni
marcafk:  hee
*** marcafk is now known as marcie
sunbeam:  mmm macamoni
Macamoni covers herself with cheese sauce
Vanyel:   oh god 
janet:    yum
sunbeam:  haha
Vanyel:   i'm hungry and horny now
marcie:   ahahahah
sunbeam:  hahaha
Macamoni giggles

				-- Vanyel with a carb fetish
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 April 2005

%%

sunbeam:  i'm going to get some cowboy boots
sunbeam:  i'll wear them responsibly

				-- sunbeam being responsible
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 April 2005

%%

Moni:     cat sitting on laptop
Moni moves cat
Moni:     cat's upset

				-- Moni having pussy problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 April 2005

%%

janet skims "the fall of the house of usher" for a brief motivational moment

				-- janet at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 March 2005

%%

twinkie:  i had a dumbass dream
Vanyel:   what about?
twinkie:  all i did was call my stylist to see if i could hyelights in my hair
twinkie:  why the fuck would i dream that?
twinkie:  why cant i have some perverted orgy dream??
twinkie:  instead of fuggin hyelights?
twinkie:  i don't even want hightlights

				-- twinkie's subconscious
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 March 2005

%%

meg:      godDAMN FINALLY
meg:      BITCH DED
ed:       now the 2.5 hours of national healing can begin.
ed:       watch CNN for details on you local mourning place
ed:       candles to be provided by Yankee Candle Co.
meg:      ahahahah

				-- the crew on Terry Schiavo
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 March 2005

%%

Vanyel:   head hurts
firl kicks van's shin.
Vanyel:   head and shin hurts

				-- Vanyel in pain
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 March 2005

%%

Jake:     mmmm
Jake:     coffee kicking in
Jake:     wtf
Jake:     whoah I'm at work!

				-- Jake waking up
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 March 2005

%%

Lia:      gah
Lia:      I still ned to cut 30 words out of this abstract
firl:     take out all the prepositions

				-- fir the Librarianatrix being helpful
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 March 2005

%%

janet:    after my wisdom teeth were out, there I was, popping vicodin like
          there was no tomorrow, sometimes rinsing my mouth out with brandy as
          a topical anaesthetic
janet:    well, sipping it
janet:    listening to old mellow music and thinking, "gawd, I feel like liz
          taylor in her down periods" :)                                    
twinkie:  without the excess weight

				-- janet the glamorous diva
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 March 2005

%%

twinkie:  6u know
twinkie:  you*
twinkie:  pills and booze rock
twinkie:  i have no shame 

				-- twinkie the glamorous diva
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 March 2005

%%

firl:     i just realized i have job security
firl:     no one else knows how to change our after hours phone message

				-- firl the Librarianatrix
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 March 2005

%%

janet mutters the deadliest joke in the world
*** firl has been disconnected
Lia:      heh

				-- Janet the dangerous one
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 March 2005

%%

sunbeam:  she voted for gwb though, she's a goddamn idiot anyway
sunbeam:  ugh..why didn't my parents stop when they had me
sunbeam:  she's totally vile sometimes
*** cu-sleep is now known as cuinhell
cuinhell: it's not too late to smother her with a pillow

				-- sunbeam's sister
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 March 2005

%%

Lia:      I got the sound on my DVD player to work
Lia:      yay
DontKnow: that's good
Lia:      the ironic thing is the only movie I have left to watch is a silent
          movie

				-- Lia having issues
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 March 2005

%%

Al:       a very stupid reason why I can not completely assemble this bawx
          tonight
Al:       I have run out of heatsink grease. :(
cuinhell: use some of the mansauce you dropped when you started
Al:       that stuff stinks when it warms up

				-- Al needing supplies
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 March 2005

%%

sunbeam:  so what wonderful things would we accomplish if men put half as much
          effort into problem solving as they do whining?                     
sunbeam:  probably more robots
janet:    hm
janet:    ending war?
Vanyel:   hrm, I dunno, electricity, penecillin, motor cars, washing machines,
          lightbulbs, television, computers, phones
sunbeam:  so basically nothing new?
janet:    ROFL

				-- sunbeam requiring information
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 March 2005

%%

janet:    do not mock the hormonal, for they are subtle, quick to anger, and
          will kick your ass.

				-- janet having her period
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 March 2005

%%

cuinhell: I CAN'T FEEL MY BALLS!

				-- cuinhell having problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 March 2005

%%

ed:       have you been huffing gasoline again?
Kestrel:  worse 
ed:       jakes socks?

				-- ed taking precautions
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 March 2005

%%

Nekkid:   yup..i's 3:45pm on a Tuesday and I'm nekkid with a beer watchign
          Time Cops
Nekkid:   I AM WHITE TRASH
Nekkid:   hear me burp

				-- Moni celebrating her roots
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 March 2005

%%

Vanyel:   hey lia
Vanyel:   I got a dumb biology question for you
cuinhell: the penis goes into the vagina
Vanyel:   ahh
Vanyel:   that explains it.
Vanyel:   I was too busy waiting for the vagin to become erect.
cuinhell: glad to be of ASSistance
Vanyel:   Rachel will be pleased now that I have this figured out

				-- Vanyel figuring out the facts of life
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 March 2005

%%

wob:      mmm crashy crashy firefox
Jake:     loser
janet:    thereeeee's *NO*zilla like *MO*zilla there's *NO*zilla I know...
janet:    <dance number>

				-- janet with a little song
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 February 2005

%%

Vanyel:   drinky.
Vanyel chews on his kittens ear

				-- the perils of alcohol
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 February 2005

%%

Vanyel:   da,nit ed
Vanyel:   fuck
Vanyel:   a day off and my vanyelitis swells up to the size of my hemmheroid

				-- Vanyel, ill
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 February 2005

%%

janet:    rgh
marcie:   yeah
marcie:   that
janet:    yeah
janet:    but I have chocolate
marcie:   very good.
devil sits beside of janet
devil looks cute         
janet ponders    
devil looks worthy of chocolate
janet looks sideways at devvy
marcie sidles up to janet
janet:    mm hmm
marcie bats her eyes
janet slams her 1lb bar on the desk a few times to break it up and passes it
          around
wob:      sluts
marcie faints

				-- janet and her harem
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 February 2005

%%

justice:  hmmmm  I was married to an Al once
justice:  I told you that one time too
justice:  but he died
Al:       my condolences.
justice:  no biggee, he was a jerk
Al:       oh
Al:       then screw him
justice:  right on

				-- justice moving on with her life
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 February 2005

%%

twinkie:  so want to hear something insane
twinkie:  yet boring
Moni:     sure
janet:    story of my life

				-- janet's exciting times
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 February 2005

%%

janet:    fiiiiiiiiive golllllden patch cables

				-- janet singing a little song
                                Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 February 2005

%%

marcie:   http://www.bmezine.com/tattoo/A50122/high/bmegl010954.jpg
marcie:   look at this sad motherfucker right here.
janet:    ow ow ow ow ow
janet:    it burns
marcie:   hee
Slayer:   heh
janet:    bill gates had better be personally giving him a blow job out of
          frame                                                           
marcie:   yeah, no shit
janet:    *shakes head*
marcie:   the mac addicts with apple logos on them are bad enough
janet:    heh
marcie:   but that's just damn sad right there
meg:      i was wondering what the mark of the beast would turn out to be

				-- the crew regarding a Microsoft tattoo
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 February 2005

%%

janet does soy sauce shots
janet:    damn salt craving

				-- janet having urges
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 February 2005

%%

devil:    is it sinful to love one's mac more than one's father/
marcie:   no
devil:    phew, glad to hear it

				-- devil reserving her spot in hell
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 February 2005

%%

janet:    heh 
janet:    this had damn well better get me an interview :)
devil:    stripping again?
janet:    hmph
janet:    it's exotic dancing, thank you

				-- janet working up her resume
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 February 2005

%%

devil:    marcie, did i mention to you that i have new cheap but cute wine
          glasses that each hold an entire bottle of wine?
marcie blinks
marcie:   my god, woman
marcie:   marry me.
devil:    you have not a built in penis
marcie:   alas.
devil:    otherwise, i would say absolutely
devil:    but i will drink with another woman out of wedlock
marcie:   slut ;)
devil:    is this a problem? ;)
marcie:   not at all :D
devil:    fabulous :)

				-- devil and marcie loving on each other
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 February 2005

%%

Slayer:   do you realize how easy it is to kill someone if you can remove
          their skull first?

				-- Slayer making plans
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 February 2005

%%

Al:       there used to be a computer wholesaler called Ameriquest
Al:       Seneca bought them 4 years ago
Slayer:   the apple juice people?
Al:       Seneca Data Distributors, Inc
Al:       my employer.
Slayer:   oh
Slayer:   there's a seneca what deals in fruit juice here
Al:       you should read the labels

				-- Slayer confused about his purchases
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 February 2005

%%

janet:    was my bday today (yesterday now I guess)
Slayer:   happy birthday if i didn't say it before
janet:    30, guess it's time to let go of some of those dreams
Slayer:   never
janet:    I guess I'll probably never be wiggling on the hood of a car in a
          music video :P                                                   
Slayer:   you can never tell
Slayer:   i promise if i ever make a video that has a girl wiggling on the
          hood of a car, it'll be you                                     
janet:    thanks, that's sweet

				-- janet with a dream
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 February 2005

%%

meg:      well there's a subsection of news i don't read at all anymore
meg:      political shit
meg:      but when i read about a couple who gets turned down for a day care
          licence and they get mad about it and want to sue the state but they
          were rejected becasue, get this
meg:      THEY'RE BOTH BLIND
meg:      wtf, blind people should just not be running a daycare
marcie:   gee
meg:      common sense, people
marcie:   i can't imagine why they got turned down
meg:      but nooo
meg:      they're gonna waste our tax dollars suing the state
meg:      for a common sense decision
meg:      as in "sight is a common sense and YOU DON'T HAVE IT"
marcie:   ahahahahahah

				-- meg on a rant
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 February 2005

%%

*** Sarge has entered room 'Main'
Sarge:    wake up little susie wake up
Vanyel:   no.
Sarge:    you're still up?
Sarge:    wow
Sarge:    at least I can use the excuse that I just got done running a code on
          a dead woman

				-- Sarge at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 February 2005

%%

Manuka:   fucking hell                              
Manuka:   what part of "go fuck yourselves" does Centex Home Equity not
          understand?                                                  
marcie:   the part where you don't pay them money

				-- marcie with financial advice
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 February 2005

%%

Slayer:   i just had a conversation with a box of goldfish
devil:    you have issues

				-- Slayer going mad
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 February 2005

%%

devil:    they should be happy that i'm working out of the office
devil:    i always want to kill the stupid people
Lia:      stupid people should be beaten until morale improves
devil:    my morale would improve more fully if i was the one beating them

				-- devil at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 February 2005

%%

Moni:     my goal for the day
Moni:     I will not kill anyone
marcie:   good goal
Moni:     no matter how much they deserve to die
Moni:     I will not rip their puny little head off and shove it up their
          urethra
Moni:     I will smile and nodd and look fucking theraputicly at them
Moni:     even if they are complete idiots

				-- Moni doing affirmations and setting goals 
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 January 2005

%%

ed:       the internet makes you stupid.

				-- ed with a warning
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 January 2005

%%

MOni:     so..this morning. I'm all horny and cuddly with the wife. Wife is in
          a playful, but non-horny mood
MOni:     She told me that if I could do 10 pushups, she'd have sex with me
MOni:     I dropped down and gave her 10
MOni:     bam
MOni:     I impressed even myself
MOni:     but
MOni:     then I was to tired to have sex

				-- Moni shooting herself in the foot
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 January 2005

%%

Sarge:    van, I wouldn't exactly say a cat and a child are the same..
Vanyel:   yeah, children cant use the litterbox

				-- Vanyel considering a family
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 January 2005

%%

DontKnow sneezes violently
DontKnow: I hope nobody misses the ceiling.

				-- DK doing damage to his apartment
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 January 2005

%%

janet:    it's such a pain to get a decent caffeine intake when you can't
          handle acidic sodas or coffee                                  
janet:    sucks                        
marcie:   you must invent a caffeine IV
janet:    I guess I could just take it straight, but I think people would get
          uneasy if I had a big pile of white powder on my desk              

				-- janet being careful
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 January 2005

%%

devil:    my electrical fields seem to be deranged today
Moni:     oh no...some conversations I just don't want to overhear.

				-- devil talking to the hand
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 January 2005

%%

devil:    pms is really starting to suck the older i get
Moni:     yes
devil:    my nipples are killing me
Moni:     death by nipples
Moni:     I can get into that

				-- Moni the mistress
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 January 2005

%%

Al:       wtf...
Al:       I do *not* recall putting chocolate in my pocket
IGadget:  are you sure its chocolate?

				-- IGadget cautioning Al
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 January 2005

%%

Kestrel:  wtf
Kestrel:  might as blow
Kestrel:  my beloved mahsee is no where to be found
Kestrel:  oh how my heart aches to see her sweet sweet typing
Kestrel:  oh cruel cruel life
Kestrel:  how you torment me with toughts of what could have been
Kestrel:  if only
Kestrel:  if only I were 20 years younger
Kestrel:  if only I was a woman
Kestrel:  if only I were a moderately attractive women
Kestrel:  without a goatee
Kestrel:  ah well...
Kestrel:  cruel cruel life...
*** Kestrel has left the room

				-- Kestrel in deepest pain
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 January 2005

%%

ed:       and now
ed:       a moment without ranting
ed bows head
ed:       Ok, enough of that.
twinkie:  yes
ed:       I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE.

				-- ed taking a break
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 January 2005

%%

Vanyel:   she likes cylindrical things, rachels lipstick, my isight, soda
          cans, my dick, etc
Vanyel:   dddddk
marcie:   YAH
marcie:   aahahahahah
Vanyel:   dddamn
Vanyel:   that should have been a /m
Vanyel:   you know, I couild explain myself
Vanyel:   but I think it'll be a lot cooler if I leave you all to wonder

				-- Vanyel being mysterious
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 January 2005

%%

devil:    this is one of those work days where i wish the internet could be
          eradicated like a bad disease                                    
marcie:   i have those days all the time
devil:    "well, i read on the internet that..."
wob:      heh
devil:    i read in weekly world news that a baby with 8 heads was born
devil:    doesn't mean i believe it

				-- devil enjoying her work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 January 2005

%%

sunbeam:  norton internet security and it says NEWALL1T.EXE is attmepting to
          connect to a DNS server
sunbeam:  and then it asks me what I wanna do
sunbeam:  i guess i'll just say ok
Jake:     have it make you a cocktail
sunbeam:  no shit
sunbeam:  MAKE ME A COCKTAIL
DontKnow: hmm. It would be nicer if it would have given which dns server, or
          what host it was trying to lookup.                                
DontKnow: I think that I'd have denied it
Jake:     did it work?
Jake:     did it know your favorite drink?
sunbeam:  no cocktail but i went and got myself a beer
Jake:     good enough
Jake:     problem solved!
sunbeam:  indeed

				-- sunbeam enabling, erm, empowering herself
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 January 2005

%%

Moni:     wife "You're drinking again?"
Moni:     Me "If you worke dwith alcoholics all day, you'd drink too"

				-- Moni loving her job
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 January 2005

%%

devil:    i'm ahead of qwest's game now
ed:       impossible
ed:       qwest has an ever changing playbook of pain
ed:       they have recently applied the spurs and blowtorch to my anus
devil:    first, i sound sweet and southern on the phone
devil:    so people want to help me
devil:    second, when sweet and southern doesn't work, i turn into a ranting
          bitch
devil:    and that works

				-- devil's technique
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 January 2005

%%

*** lisa has entered room 'Main'
lisa:     helllllo
Courtney: hey lisa
Courtney: long time
Courtney: hows waco?
lisa:     it's fantasti
lisa:     c
lisa:     and by fantastic i mean it's waco
lisa:     and by waco i mean i'm glad i drink

				-- drunklisa strikes again!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 January 2005

%%

Moni:      Never pet your dog when it is on fire. 
Kestrel:  things I should have known by now and did not

				-- Kestrel learning life lessons
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 January 2005

%%

Vanyel:   today is "answer your email in gibberish" day
*** skip has entered room 'Main'
Vanyel:   "Blinding lately! why horses hair sponge sunglasses????!!!"
ed:       Flailing chickens run by nugget tire iron heroin swimming pools.
skip:     I love coming in late :)  most interesting statements

				-- skippy being entertained
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 January 2005

%%

Slayer:   fucking conan the barbarian is the governor of california. 
          someone's getting a special seat in the afterlife for that one.
ed:       special seat
ed:       or
ed:       special favors
ed:       like flames intermittently licking at their ballsack.
Slayer:   either

				-- California is doomed
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 January 2005

%%

devil:    el apartmento is most fabulous
Jake:     yo dev
devil:    though i'm getting sick of kgnu
Jake:     buy better speakers
marcie:   heh
devil:    they are pretty good speakers
devil:    they didn't pick up aberrant radio statiosn in nc
devil:    why are they picking them up here?
Jake:     because God hates you
meg:      your complex is built on radio personality burial grounds
marcie:   clearly
devil:    there is no god
devil:    meg must be right
meg:      it is sacred land
devil:    makes much more sense
meg:      they are haunting you

				-- devil's haunted computer speakers
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 January 2005

%%

Vanyel:   hrm
Vanyel:   theres something wrong with fuckedcompany.com
Sarge:    its fucked
marcie:   ironic, ain't it?

				-- Vanyel observing irony
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 January 2005

%%

Kestrel:  swift and burning vengeance...
Kestrel:  it's good for the soul

				-- Kestrel with advice
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 January 2005

%%

Vanyel:   billy jean rocks and don't you forget it ok? :( :( :(

				-- Vanyel defending his taste in 80s music
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 January 2005


%%

Vanyel tells his cat that there's catnip in ed's colon
ed:        /me takes the cat in upto the last ring on its tail
ed pushes hard
ed shits leo's cat inside out
ed:       AWAY WITH YOUR FELINE
Moni:     and some peopel think hamsters are kinky

				-- the crew getting kinky with it
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 January 2005

%%

Vanyel:   now noone answered my cat question
Moni:     what's the cat question?
Vanyel:   whats that weird part of the cat's ear near the head, where the skin
          breaks out into like a "C"
Moni:     the litlte ear flap thingy?
Vanyel:   yeah
Moni:     that's it            
Vanyel:   its a flap thingy?
Moni:     yes                     
Moni:     :>
Vanyel:   I hate you guys.

				-- Vanyel not getting his questions answered
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 January 2005

%%

Vanyel:   okay
Vanyel:   whats the most voltage you've eaten?
janet:    um.
janet:    not counting the tesla coils?

				-- janet trying to understand the question
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 January 2005

%%

Vanyel:   ok what the hell is that weird part of the cat's ear, where it
          breaks out into like ...a big C                               
ed:       the ear
ed:       now, shut the fuck up, idiot

				-- ed the animal expert
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 January 2005

%%

janet is wearing black and blood red today
janet:    it's a good day for someone else to die

				-- janet, Klingon warrior
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 January 2005

%%

devil:    so i shall give the boytoy another chance
devil:    and if his ass talks for two hours       
devil:    i will just have to put something in his mouth as previously advised
marcie:   clearly                                                             
Vanyel:   mmm asthma attack
devil:    the mere thought has sent ducky into respiratory problems
devil:    i'm not THAT scary people                                

				-- devvy scaring us
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 January 2005

%%

devil:    i think i'm losing my ability to tempt men
devil:    i was in bed with this guy for nearly 2 hours last night and he
          wouldn't shut up and get to the point                          

				-- devil having a hard time
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 January 2005

%%

Xi:        /clear
marcie:   no
Xi:       yes!
Xi:       do it NOW
ed clears Xi
ed:       cept for that one charge, you know
ed:       sodomizing a pig
ed:       I can't get you off on that one dude.
ed:       this is Iowa
Xi:       the pig asked for it
Lia:      rofl
Xi:       twice
ed:       we take our pig-women seriously

				-- ed, farmer man
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 January 2005

%%

ed:       winamp has sucked for about 4 years
ed:       so
ed:       you get what you fucking get, leo.
ed:       winamp has evolved like the web-browser.
ed:       if I want my fucking MP3 player to make toast and rimjob my asshole,
          then I'll start clamoring for it.

				-- ed on mp3 players
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 January 2005

%%

Vanyel:   william shatner's got a new album out.
devil:    is that a joke?
IGadget:  its one in bad taste if it is

				-- Vanyel being funny
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 December 2004

%%

janet hits 30 in another month and a half
janet:    maybe I need to get back into explosives or something

				-- janet realizing her mid-life crisis
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 December 2004

%%

Moni:     ok..off to tie up a man in a leotard

				-- Moni working
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 December 2004

%%

Sarge:    how did I live w/o a dvd burner before this?
Sarge:    4.7GB!!  ___4.7GB!!!___ on one disc!!
Sarge:    and if I go buy double sided discs i get OVER 8GB!!!
Moni:     oh sweet..there's such a thing as double sided discs?
Sarge:    I want to kiss the little japanese man who invented these things

				-- Sarge with a DVD stiffy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 December 2004

%%


marcie:   BEATDOWN
janet:    ow
marcie:   not you.
janet:    yeah
janet:    but I did the 10.3.7 update and then my book slept
marcie crawls in janet's lap and entertain her
janet:    USB was dead on wake :(
marcie:   ugh
janet:    um, hi.
janet:    :)
marcie:   :)
janet tries to remember what Ms. Manners would do in a situation like this
Moni:     fondle
marcie:   yes
marcie:   what moni said
janet:    hee
Moni:     it would be rude to ignore such an invitation

				-- Moni with advice on good manners
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 December 2004

%%

Vanyel:   so janet, you wanna help me put headers on my beast then?
janet:    heh
Vanyel:   I did it once, on a VW
janet:    take a look at the distinctive lack of upper body strength :)
janet:    I'd be happy to sit on the fender holding a beer, give direction,
          and try to look nice, though                                     
Vanyel:   I want you for your mind, not your body.
marcie:   rofl
Vanyel:   there you go
janet:    damnit leo

				-- janet & Vanyel bonding over cars
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 December 2004

%%

Vanyel:   i'm a busy lil salesfuck today
Vanyel:   i'm a little salesfuck, short and stout.
Vanyel:   here is my handle and here is my spout
Vanyel:   when you give me  P.O.s here me shout
Vanyel:   HOT DOGSHIT I GOT MONEY#@$!#@$%#@%#@!$#@!%#@!4
marcie:   ahahahhahah geesus christ leo
Vanyel:   what

				-- Vanyel bursting into song
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 December 2004

%%

Vanyel:   SALESFUCK POWERS ACTIVATE!
Vanyel:   FORM OF: A P.O.!

				-- Vanyel the mighty SalesJew
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 December 2004

%%

Sarge:    i love the internet..
marcie:   lies
Sarge:    next to sex and wal-mart its' my favorite thing.. and when I'm not
          getting sex for a while its second behind wal-mart                
marcie:   ahahahahah
Sarge:    hey wal-mart rocks

				-- Sarge heralding his roots
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 December 2004

%%

saundo:   it's only a fetish if you don't talk about it

				-- saundo on sex
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 December 2004

%%

saundo:   oh dear god
saundo:   someone mention midgets, cuz I'm turning into a boring homeowner

				-- saundo going on about his house
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 December 2004

%%

*** janet has entered room 'Main'
Vanyel:   janet
janet:    could be
Vanyel:   I hope so, you're wearing her underwear
janet:    :P

				-- Vanyel flirting with janet
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 December 2004

%%

janet flips through alt.suicide.holiday for 30 seconds to raise her spirits
janet:    it's somehow comforting to know that somewhere, there are people out
          there even dumber than my lusers.                                   
marcie:   :D
Xi:       they seem to be everywhere
Xi:       like a plague of locust without the wonders of protein

				-- avoiding the herds of stupid
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 November 2004

%%

meg:      my fingers smell like burrito juice
marcie:   ...
meg:      you didn't know i was a lesburritan did you

				-- meg converting to the dark side
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 November 2004

%%

janet:    cool
janet:    our photocopier got 0wn3d :P
Vanyel:   what?
Vanyel:   how does ne haxx0r a photocopier?
janet:    it has a document feeder and an automatic scanner
janet:    ...which seem to be driven by something embedded that runs win2k :P
janet:    it lasted about a week and a half :)
Vanyel:   ahahahahahahahahahahahah

				-- janet's job
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 November 2004

%%

devil:    we are such a sociable lot
devil:    janet is locking herself up on a room, ducky is driving to someplace
idiots and full of shit, and ed is ed 
devil:    i haven't left my hotel room all day
janet is going to throw up any moment, so will bbiaf
devil:    granted, i've only been awake for a couple of hours
devil:    and vomiting, how ever could i forget the vomiting?
*** janet is now known as janetafk

				-- devil enjoying our company
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 November 2004

%%

ed:       damit
ed:       I think I stepped in bum shit

				-- ed on the way to work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 November 2004

%%

meg:      why does spybot give me butt stress

				-- meg, ill
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 November 2004

%%

janet:    "An error occured during the file system check"
janet:    gee, thanks, linux
marcie:   you know you love the pain
janet:    even I'm not that much of a masochist
ed:       now, depending on FS size
ed:       await the pain of the check
ed:       I bet you lost a disk
janet:    whip me, beat me, make me admin crappy linux x86 boxes
marcie:   pain slut.
janet:    guilty
janet:     /dev/hda3: no such device
janet pounds her head on the desk
ed:       hope you're packin spare disk
ed:       I too have felt this pain
ed:       and its searing
janet:    oh no no no no no no no no no
marcie:   that sounds bad.
janet:    no, it's just...whacked
janet:    oh frack, I know what's wrong
janet:    disks got swapped
ed:       you forgot the goat
ed:       the black goat
ed:       with the little redback spider tatoo on his left goat-asscheek
janet:    I don't have enough room for the thousand young
janet tries to remember how to summon Shub-Niggurath
ed:       and the one who has a penis shaped like alan cox, and his beard
janet:    dude
janet:    you're scaring me
marcie:   congratulations, ed
marcie:   you have accomplished the nearly-impossible.
ed:       I am merely telling you what my linux-repair U-Haul contains
ed:       and one of those is a pigmy goat with a schlonce that looks like
          alan cox, with his beard
ed:       i call him Neville

				-- a disturbing rant
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 November 2004

%%

K:        so next year            
*** Sonic has entered room 'Main'
K:        me, you, maverick, and sonic
Sonic:    yo                          
K:        will all participate in the 14th annual
Sonic:    FUCKFEST  

				-- sonic getting excited about the gay orgy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 November 2004

%%

K:        cocaine can lead to menage a trios

				-- K with advice
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 November 2004

%%

Sarge:    I'm surprised the chicks you date even are old enough to have boobs,
          that's why you like them so flat                                    
Slayer:   i blame it all on playing D&D from age 6 and developing an elf
          fetish

				-- Slayer's odd habits
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 November 2004

%%

Vanyel:   pee
Slayer:   anybody want a strawberry daiquiri?
Slayer:   cept for vanyel
Slayer:   apparently he already has his drink
Vanyel shits on slayer
Slayer:   and brekfast

				-- Slayer relaxing
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 November 2004

%%

Slayer:   goodmorning, social, intellectual, and moral inferiors.  how are you
          all today?

				-- Slayer greeting his pals
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 November 2004

%%

Moni:     oh..I got my 5 year pin for surviving five years at Kaiser
Moni:     should come with morphine

				-- Moni the loyal and dedicated employee
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 November 2004

%%

ed:       can you see kernel.org
ed:       as in, go there
ed:       I can ping it
Vanyel:   cant http to it
ed:       good, I'm not alone
ed:       well, in a way I am, because you dont' find very many hermaphrodites
          with a penis on each  knee                                          

				-- ed with medical problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 November 2004

%%

Vanyel:   quick! to the googlemobile!

				-- Vanyel seeking information
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 November 2004


%%

Moni hacks up a lung and places it on a silver platter with a sprig of parsley

				-- Moni, sick
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 November 2004

%%

devil:    did you know that you can actually fit your whole hand into a german
          sheperd's vulva?

				-- devil again loving her job
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 November 2004

%%

lisa:     my boobs get bigger each day

				-- lisa with medical problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 November 2004

%%

Slayer:   do we have anybody here who's actually killed somebody?
Slayer:   i think that's the only thing svaing us from hell
Moni:     define kill

				-- Moni the sweet & innocent
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 November 2004

%%

wob:      FUCK THE POLICE
Moni:     mmm..only if I can use their handcuffs

				-- Moni, friend of the thin blue line
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 November 2004

%%

devil:    ethiopians have more food in their houses than i do

				-- devil complaining
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 November 2004

%%

devil:    i'm a girl, i'm not supposed to be getting this dirty with the
          computers
devil:    it's not fucking feminine

				-- devil the delicate flower
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 October 2004

%%

marcie hums "uptown girl"
janet:    argh.
marcie:   :D
marcie sings "uptown girl" at janet instead
janet:    ok, it's *stuck* now
marcie:   excellent.
Xi:       wow
janet cranks up 'what a feeling'
marcie retaliates with "oh sherrie"
janet hums "oh danny boy"
marcie whistles "sussudio"
janet pulls out anything by maya angelou
marcie:   ooh
marcie:   you win
marcie keeps sweet honey in the rock in reserve
janet slowly puts down the grace jones album
marcie:   and back away slowly.

				-- janet and marcie battling it out
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 October 2004

%%

ed:       dude
ed:       the amish fucking have it all
ed:       horses
ed:       buggies
ed:       no electricity
ed:       no phone
ed:       no computer
ed:       no pager
ed:       8 children
ed:       slaves, if you will
ed:       women who listen
ed:       fuck man
ed:       there are amish about 5 miles from my house
ed:       and I want them to adopt me.

				-- ed longing for the simple life
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 October 2004

%%

dweez humps marcie
marcie:   WOO
devil:    i'm coming :)
dweez:    k
marcie:   wow
marcie:   that's impressive
dweez:    no shit
devil:    apparently at the sight of dweepie humping marcie
marcie:   he humps me, you come
dweez:    we own
marcie:   werd

				-- straight-on-gay action
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 October 2004

%%

Moni:     marcie:   Your search - "death of a thousand cunts" - did not match
          any
Moni:               documents
Moni chokes
marcie:   O:)
Vanyel:   that is no longer true.
Vanyel:   strangely enough, the only linkis to the en quote page...
Moni:     bwhahahaha
marcie:   imagine :)

				-- we at EN are so very proud
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 October 2004

%%

Vanyel:   I am craving potato pancakes
janet tempts leo with latkes
marcie:   must be getting close to hanukkah
Vanyel:   bad janet.
Moni:     mmm..latkes
marcie:   good janet.
Moni:     and applesauce
Moni:     mm
marcie:   and sour cream?
Moni:     and valium
Moni:     mmmm
marcie:   ahahaha
marcie:   it's definitely the holiday season
Moni:     yes

				-- the holidays are upon us again
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 October 2004

%%

lisa:     okay
lisa:     i'm sober
lisa:     i'm sorber
marcie:   lies
lisa:     no
lisa:     marccccccccccccccie
DontKnow: lisa, are you sorbet too?
lisa:     i od notl liek
lisa:     lie
lisa:     lie
lisa:     see
lisa:     i can speel
lisa:     fuck

				-- drunklisa is our favorite!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 October 2004

%%

Vanyel:   you drunkard
lisa:     i'm not a draunkard
lisa:     i'm just hapty

				-- drunklisa strikes again!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 October 2004

%%

Moni:     hungry
ed:       appetite for destruction?
Moni:     ya
Moni:     big time
Moni:     or spicy broccoli tofu
Moni:     which ever is easier

				-- Moni, Destroyer of Worlds
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 October 2004

%%

Xi:       eibe meine emm schpinkey
ed:       if thats german for "dont' fuck with the BOFH"
ed:       I concur

				-- ed learning foreign languages
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 October 2004

%%

Moni chuckles.  Just got done with an intake appointment in which the pt gave
          me the finger twice.
Moni bows.
Moni:     I'm doing such a good job.

				-- Moni's work here is done
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 October 2004

%%

Vanyel:   get fun, new cursors! ABSOLUTELY FREE!
Vanyel bangs head on desk
janet:    cursors!  foiled again!

				-- janet deserving a smackdown
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 October 2004

%%

devil:    i used to think i had plenty of food
devil:    now i realize that it has all expired over the last couple of years
devil:    except apparently wasabi and horseradish don't expire
devil:    so i have wasabi and horseradish

				-- devil aspiring to chefdom
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 October 2004

%%

Slayer:   that old saying about catching flies with honey is fucking bullshit
Slayer:   you might nit catch many with vinegar, but honey doesn't do a damned
          thing
Slayer:   for THREE WEEKS this one fly has been buzzing around my room.  i
          don't want to hear anything about the lifespan of a fly.  this  
          fucker is immortal.
Slayer:   i can't kill it
Slayer:   i put some honey in a mt dew bottle in hopes that it would fly into
          it and i could slap the cap on
Slayer:   that was 4 days ago
Slayer:   it won't go near it
marcie:   it's heard that cliche too
Slayer:   zip keeps trying to knock it over, though
megafk:   you can however catch cats with honey
Slayer:   she keeps chasing the fly too, but she's way too slow
megafk:   but then  you just have a sticky cat 	

				-- animal control
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 October 2004

%%

devil:    plus, mine are wombat lodge uggs
devil:    they have sentimental value
devil:    i had some of the best sex of my life in those uggboots
marcie:   ahahahaha
marcie:   i love you dev
devil:    the heater didn't work real well in my dorm room at the time

				-- devil on her favorite boots
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 October 2004

%%

Vanyel:   I hate credit cards
devil:    whyfor?
Vanyel:   cuz they suck
Vanyel:   and my demn blender siezed up
K:        you blended your credit cards?
Vanyel:   yeah I hear its a good way to improve credit
Vanyel:   drinking a credit card shake
K:        i've tried it
K:        don't recommend it

				-- K improving his credit score
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 October 2004

%%

ed:       the internet is evil
Xi:       and pointy

				-- the horror!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 October 2004

%%

lisa:     really, i don't know, i am wearing fleece and a heavy sweatshirt
lisa:     but my feet are cold
wob:      texan
lisa:     whatever
lisa:     wait
lisa:     yeah i am
lisa:     dammit

				-- lisa making a horrifying discovery
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 October 2004

%%

ed pillages dweez ass
ed:       I AM GHENGIS KHAN
ed:       AND YOUR ASS IS SOUTHERN MANCHURIA
ed:       the year is 1275
marcie:   the name of the place is Babylon 5
marcie:   oh wait
marcie:   that's something else
ed:       your ass, fresh from battle, has been settled by nomadic herdsman
          who are now attempting their hand at farming                     
marcie:   ahahhha
marcie:   goddammit ed
marcie:   i'm on the phone
marcie:   and laughing
ed:       within 10 years, they find your ass to be quite fertile, building
          settlements and setting up local government                      
ed:       and then
ed:       Ghengis Khan catches wind of your asses fertile crescent
ed:       he begins his preparations
ed:       Ghengis Khan plans to INVADE YOUR ASS
dweez:    damn i love you

				-- dweez feeling the manlove
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 October 2004

%%

wob:      my dickhead boss at viawaste
wob:      has a fucking BAD reputation around the ISP industry here
wob:      all the sales engineers that ive worked with know him
wob:      all hate him
wob:      all know hes a jackass
marcie:   yeah
marcie:   it will soon suck to be him
marcie:   if it doesn't already
wob:      nah
wob:      he's at a company full of jackasses
wob:      he fits right in

				-- wob's former employer
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 October 2004

%%

devil:    i wanna be a kept woman when i grow up

				-- devil has a dream
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 October 2004

%%

Vanyel:   my head is killing me
ed:       must be something in the air today
ed:       same here
ed:       pounding headache
ed:       there must be a total stupidity convergence going on.

				-- ed with the answer to pain
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 October 2004

%%

wob:      i was in wyoming last week
wob:      good sheep fucking there.

				-- wob updating us on his sex life
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 October 2004

%%

meg:      heh what if social security was like one of those "sponsor a
          starving child in africa" programs
meg:      each taxpayer would be assigned an old person
meg:      and they would write you and send you pictures they drew
meg:      hahahh
Sarge:    haha meg
Sarge:    this is anna, she is 72 and on welfare.. for only $.02 a day you
          can...

				-- solving the Social Security problem
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 October 2004

%%

janet:    you know, rap & hip-hop has missed out on sampling classical music
janet:    think of the possibilities
janet:    "Baby Got Bach"
marcie:   oh god.
janet:    "Can't Touch Liszt"
marcie:   janet.
janet:    I know, up the voltage.

				-- janet contemplating music
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 October 2004

%%

ed pops Xi's cherry
Xi:       thanks, I've been meaning to have that done

				-- ed deflowering Xi
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 October 2004

%%

ed:       Like me, leo could find something to gripe about with a half key of
          coke in one hand, 4 models working his  knob, and a suitcase full of
          unmarked bills at his feet

				-- ed on Vanyel's sunny outlook on life
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 October 2004

%%

Moni:     oh..I can enlarge my penis in just one week!
Slayer:   that's a very idiotic view to have

				-- Slayer reprimanding Moni
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 October 2004

%%

ed sha1's Xi's ass
Xi:       thanks
dweez hacks it
Xi:       COME ON IN!
Xi:       ROOT ME!
ed:       xi couldn't root a fucking carrot
ed:       er
ed:       dweez
dweez:    root@xisass:$ /bin/rm -rf /
Xi:       what?  no dd action this time?
Xi:       come on, my ass is lonely
marcie:   that's so sweet
dweez:    nah - i just cleaned out your colon, xi
Xi:       and I do appreciate that
dweez:    gotta love those used motor oil enemas
Xi:       I thought you smelled of diesel oil and crankcase lube
marcie:   he'll lube your crankcase, baybee
dweez:    damn right

				-- manly love on EN
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 October 2004

%%

marcie:   go go gadget disaster recovery plan
ed:       DR?
marcie:   aw yeah baby
ed:       DR is a match, a can of gas, and a couple well-placed soft and hard
          copies of your resume

				-- ed with tips on work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 October 2004

%%

Kestrel:  I AM JUST PISSED I DIDN'T HAVE HIS BABY, AS IF MY BUNG WAS NOT SWEET
          ENOUGH, OH THE CRUELTY

				-- Kes lamenting missing ed
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 October 2004

%%

Vanyel:   dont make me smack you with my penis
marcie:   me or kes?
Vanyel:   you joy
*** Kestrel has been disconnected
marcie:   dammit leo
marcie:   now look what you did
janet cracks up
marcie:   the mere threat was enough to make him disappear
Vanyel:   I guess I hurt his feelings.

				-- Leo wielding the JewTWW O' Doom
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 October 2004

%%

ed:       this babies ass smells like death encapsulated

				-- ed's beloved offspring
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 October 2004

%%



wob:      werd, superman died
wob:      guess he wasnt so super
wob:      AHrARHrhar

				-- wob being bad
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 October 2004

%%

Vanyel:   I'm a one-man life wrecking machine, baby

				-- Vanyel on a rampage
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 October 2004

%%

wob:      geesus movies are expensive
wob:      12 bucks
wob:      nmap better go faster
wob:      SCANNIGN FOR PRON
wob:      YEAH
wob:      SHOW ME THE MONEY SHOT

				-- wob breaking into his hotel's wireless
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 October 2004

%%

ed:       cool
ed:       sometimes you've got more worth than the golden shower fantasies
          that I put you in when I'm alone at night.                      
marcie:   ahahhaha jesus christ ed
marcie:   i love you man
Vanyel:   mommy i'm scared

				-- ed loving up on Vanyel
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 October 2004

%%

ed:       I'll watch a debate when its "CAGE MATCH 2008! KERRY vs Pat Roberts"

				-- ed on the Presidential election
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 October 2004

%%

janet:    I used to admin secs.csun.edu, pronounced "sex"
marcie:   :)
janet:    tentacle.secs was sadly short lived

				-- janet's work history
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 October 2004

%%

janet:    when I was looking at names, I looked at some celtic ones
marcie:   ha
janet:    they all ended up like Cwyngwlfadyllr or something
marcie:   excellent
janet:    pronounced 'bruce'
marcie:   bahaahaha

				-- janet on computer names
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 October 2004

%%

K:        man don't think that hard aobut my penis

				-- K being attractive
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 October 2004

%%

K:        marcie.  you're a woman.
K:        don't ignore that blood please
K:        sop that shit up.
marcie:   i am?
marcie checks down her pants
marcie:   shit!
marcie:   that's where i've been going wrong all those years!
marcie bleeds on K
marcie:   dammit
marcie:   you're right!
marcie:   you fucker, if it wasn't for you i'd never have realized!
Courtney: hahahaha
Vanyel:   goddamnit joy
Vanyel:   i'm laughing so hard i'm coughing
marcie:   sorry dude
Vanyel:   you are not sorry.
Vanyel:   you are TRYING to kill me.
Vanyel:   I just know it.
marcie:   yes.
marcie:   i am.
marcie:   did i mention we changed your life insurance beneficiary?
Vanyel:   no.
marcie:   oops.

				-- marcie with murder on her mind
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 October 2004

%%

Al:       why did McCholesterol discontinue my salad?
Slayer:   it didn't pass the fat test

				-- Slayer explains nutrition
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 October 2004

%%

Moni:     cute dog
Beastie:  i know
Beastie:  he takes after me

				-- Beastie's dog
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 October 2004

%%

Vanyel:   oh my god it's some alternative band's remake of the free software
          song
Vanyel:   dammit I need to start KEDR up again.
devil:    i agree
Vanyel:   I started an itunes genre for songs like this
Vanyel:   "wrong"

				-- Vanyel on music
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 October 2004

%%


Sarge:    its tough to watch a hot naked chick showering when her skin is
          falling off

				-- Sarge watching a horror movie
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 October 2004

%%

china:    When I worked at Augusta State, the dress code was "Not Naked"

				-- china complaining about her job
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 October 2004

%%

janet:    ugh
janet:    massive headache
janet:    stuffed with cold meds
janet:    can't blink
janet:    and I need to drive home 
janet:    through eel infested waters
janet:    well, deer, anyway

				-- janet, also sick
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 October 2004

%%

meg:      my nose makes it's own bubblegum!

				-- meg, sick
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 September 2004

%%

Vanyel:   I feel like I just coughed up a small baby
Vanyel:   I wonder if a big enough piece of phlegm can be self-aware

				-- Vanyel battling the Martian Death Flu
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 September 2004

%%

janet:    the dhcp-whackamole-script-o-doom is working
marcie:   mmm whackamole
janet:    now to turn it lose on the production nets
janet:    like a piano falling from heaven
marcie cackles quietly
janet:    there needs to be an SNMP standard for "give console user a 10kv
          shock"

				-- janet LARTing lusers
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 September 2004

%%

ed:       today is the day of wierd broken shit
Slayer:   thanks.  i just got a bluescreen.

				-- Slayer PC being cursed
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 September 2004

%%

Slayer:   games are fucking huge these days
Slayer:   a 360k floppy used to hold and entire top name $50 game
Slayer:   i'm sure they were even smaller for the price before then too
Slayer:   the sims 2 takes 4 CDs
Slayer:   and it's not going to help me get laid by hot cheerleaders any more
          than pac man did

				-- Slayer sighing for the old days
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 September 2004

%%

Slayer:   other than left shift, both shifts, f1, f5, f8, and f11, what would
          you recommend for getting into bios
Jake:     a pry-bar

				-- Slayer having PC troubles
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 September 2004

%%

firl:     ok. someone in my living room farted and no one is confessing.
marcie:   blame it on the dog!
firl:     we only have a cat.
firl:     do cats fart?
marcie:   mine do
firl:     alright. the cat did it!
marcie:   werd

				-- firl placing the blame where it belongs
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 September 2004

%%

janet does the "running on 4 hours sleep and coming off a stimulant crash"
          head-clearing meditation.
marcie:   ...which would be?
janet:    head down, held by hands, muttering, "why me"

				-- janet enjoying work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 September 2004

%%

janet:    UTILITY TO BE SHUT DOWN:  Fire Sprinklers
janet rubs her hands gleefully
marcie:   oh god
marcie:   i don't want to know what you're planning.
janet:    ok
janet:    back in a few
*** janet is now known as janetafk
marcie:   if we hear reports of fire and destruction at UC santa cruz, we'll
          know why ;)
janetafk: you can't blame me for the earthquake.
marcie:   oh jesus.

				-- janet, plotting
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 September 2004

%%

lisa:     shit
lisa:     i can't follow this
marcie:   aw
marcie types slower
lisa:     thank you
marcie:   any time

				-- lisa, durnk
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 September 2004

%%

janet pauses for a moment to consider that flamethrowers are completely
          unregulated by the BATF, even if handheld                    

				-- janet with a tip
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 September 2004

%%

china:    the only people more inbred than southerners are the british
china:    which explains prince charles' ugly ass
marcie:   werd
ed:       muahahah
china:    I think at this point, I'm my own cousin or something

				-- china on inbreeding
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 September 2004

%%

Moni:     oh geeze..someone on one of my mailing list is looking for a
          trans/or queer friendly podiatrist.                         
Moni:     why would your foot doctor have to be queer friendly?
Moni:     they don't need to know your sexual orientation
Moni:     my big toe is a lesbian and it is ingrown

				-- Moni's lesbian toes
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 September 2004

%%

devil:    another day, another orgy:  life on en

				-- devil with an update
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 September 2004

%%

devil:    i am such a bitch
devil:    but at least i have cute hair

				-- devil the fabulous
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 September 2004

%%

janet:    cold, a window got left open overnight
janet:    not every day you open your office door and find fog

				-- janet's adventures at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 September 2004

%%

devil:    i've had cats with more skills massage my tits

				-- devil on BadTitMan
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 September 2004

%%

meg:      cat is making out with my elbow
devil:    nastay
meg:      nah it's cute

				-- meg getting lucky
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 September 2004

%%

devil:    i seem to have developed a compulsive eating problem
devil:    maybe it's pms
devil:    oh hell yeah it is
devil:    why do i have to keep having this shit?
devil:    i want a hysterectomy
devil:    why won't these asshole doctors take out my uterus if i want them
Al:       ...because that wouldn't solve your problems?
devil:    bleed out your penis every 4 weeks for a few years and then tell me
          your opinion
devil:    until then, i'm not interested

				-- devil the righteously bitchy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 September 2004

%%

meg:      mmm naked dan rather

				-- meg's odd fetishes
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 September 2004

%%

china:    i wonder if their ages are wrong, though
china:    because they are already having orgies
china:    devvy!
devil:    china:)
devil:    who is having orgies and why wasn't i invited?
china:    how are ya!
china:    my cats, and that's why. ;)
devil:    i'm fabulous, i just gorged upon divinely fresh sushi
china:    i figured you see enough of that day in and day out
devil:    oh yeah, cats have shamefully small penises
china:    HAHAHAHAH

				-- devil with relevant knowledge
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 September 2004

%%

Moni:     I've never met a man who I wanted to stomp on his bare shaved tender
          genetalia more.

				-- Moni on her former landlord
				 Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 September 2004

%%

Sarge:    slayer can read a book?
Sarge:    I thought he could only color them
Slayer:   sarge, i'm a fuck lot smarter  than most people, probably including
          yourself
Sarge:    so hostile..
Sarge sends slayer a book on anger management..
Slayer:   fuck that, i can't read
Sarge:    ok audio book then..
Courtney: I will actually testify to slay being pretty intelligent
Courtney: hes like jessica simpson, he just plays dumb to get attention from
          boys
Courtney: :)
marcie:   pahahahah

				-- Slayer the manwhore
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 September 2004

%%

Vanyel:   http://10eastern.com/images/FoundPhotos/images/9-2/IMAG0029.jpg
Moni:     and why are we seeing a potty picture?
Vanyel:   oops
marcie:   ha
Vanyel:   its not 2 chicks making out?
Moni:     no
marcie:   HAHAHAHA
Moni:     it's a pic of a toilet
Moni:     heh
janet cracks up

				-- Leo looking for love in all the wrong places
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 September 2004

%%

meg:      some other friends of ours made up a new 7stud game
janet:    5-stud too, but it can get so cutthroat
K:        the cadillac of poker is the best 
meg:      inspired by "low chicago"
meg:      it's called
meg:      get this
meg:      "gay francisco"
janet:    *laugh*
meg:      it rules
marcie:   ha
janet:    queens wild?
marcie:   cool
marcie:   hahahah
meg:      yes
marcie:   awesome
meg:      jacks in the hole are worth another hole card
marcie:   HAHAHA
marcie:   sweet!
meg:      and NO STRAIGHTS ALLOWED
janet:    you have to show the jack though, right?
marcie:   werd up
janet:    hee

				-- meg playing poker
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 September 2004

%%

meg:      leo's got a fro wig?
twinkie:  what?
twinkie:  i must have missed something
marcie:   O:)
twinkie:  he could make his own fro wig though
marcie:   yes
Al:       knitted from his back hair?
marcie:   just shave his back
twinkie:  thank god for seperate bathrooms

				-- twinkie giving thanks
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 September 2004

%%


devil:    apparently that technician that i accidentally slept with that I was
          so excited about quitting may be coming back
devil:    he's definitely coming back for labor day and desperately wants his
          old job back
Al:       is that the only reason you don't want him there?
IGadget:  how do you accidently sleep with somone?
devil:    if you've never accidentally slept with anyone, then your life must
          be fairly boring :P

				-- sex and the single veterinarian
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 September 2004

%%

meg:      a heart to butt chat
meg:      sounds like a tagline for the edwards/cheney debates

				-- meg on the vice presidential candidates
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 September 2004

%%

devil:    finally got my lazy ass around to writing my paper
devil:    it's not half bad if i do say so myself
meg:      wow your ass can write?
Sarge:    anal writing.. next on opera..
devil:    nods
devil:    you should see the shit that comes out of it
Sarge:    no thanks..

				-- devil the academic
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 September 2004

%%

devil:    i'm going to rename myself
devil:    my new name is "shewhohasnotstartedthepaperthatisduetonight"
devil:    and my nickname shall be lazybitch

				-- devil claiming her identity
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 September 2004

%%

dweez:    fuck win2k ed
dweez:    fuck it with jakes dick
ed:       I don't think jakes dick is powerful enough to fuck windows the way
          it needs fucked

				-- ed needing a bigger LART
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 September 2004

%%

haley:    i give one hell of a titty fuck

				-- haley's special talents
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 August 2004

%%

Slayer:   you're more annoying than bras with more than one hook

				-- Slayer insulting K
                               	Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 August 2004

%%

haley has a nice fat dick
K:        mmmmm haley

				-- K lusting
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 August 2004

%%

Vanyel:   Moni:     splish splash I was getting fucked in the ass
Vanyel:   Moni:     long about a saturday night
dweez 5's cerb
Vanyel:   god i love the quote file
marcie:   werd
Cerberus: ah, memories..
Cerberus: err
Cerberus hides

				-- Cerb being nostalgic
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 August 2004

%%

elric:    I was there for like a day in June.  Would you believe they actually
          have a restraunt called Hitlers there?  I thought about eating there
          just so I could tell Van they have really good
elric:    pork chops

				-- elric in South Korea
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 August 2004

%%

china:    Ya know, Martha Stewart deserves to be in jail. I went to KMart
          today and spent $50 for her candles, the bitch

				-- china undergoing retail therapy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 August 2004

%%

ed:       poo is an important part of EN life.
devil:    poo is a highly important part of my life
devil:    if it weren't for diarrhea, i'd be a lot poorer than i am now
Al:       so you're..."filthy rich" ? :D
meg:      so long as she isnt rolling in it

				-- poo talk
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 August 2004

%%

ed:       anger management is for pussies
ed eyeballs the phone-dent in the wall of his office
ed looks over and reminisces about the coffee-cup hole in the wall behind the
          storage cabinet

				-- ed controlling himself
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 August 2004

%%

Vanyel:   Kobalt writes "A few news services are reporting that Russian
          computer expert, Aleksandr Gostev from Kaspersky Labs, has predicted
          that a large chunk of the Internet will be shut down tomorr         
Vanyel:   row by cyber terrorists
ed:       excellent.
ed:       I can call it a day, then.

				-- ed blowing off work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 August 2004

%%

twinkie:  someone is cooking asshole

				-- twinkie's neighbors
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 August 2004

%%

Al:       is that a 350 thread count spreadsheet?
Al:       oh, I'm thinking bedsheet.
marcie:   don't make me turn up the Madonna mp3s
janet flannels al
Al becomes confused and stops to think
Al:       "flannel" used as a verb means...?
janet snickers
Al:       dammit it's not my fault I'm naive
janet:    I like obscure words, ok?
Al:       that's most definitely ok
janet:    I'll give you a hint, it's brit slang
Al:       dictionary.reference.com only lists noun definitions
Moni vogues
Al:       as does urbandictionary.com
janet:    it means to confuse, to distract
janet:    seems I was successful :)
Al:       AHHAHAAHAHAHAH
Al falls out
Al:       janet you fucking rule
marcie:   :D
janet smirks

				-- janet employing words of mass distraction
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 August 2004

%%

*** megzzz is now known as meg
marcie:   megzzzzzzzz
meg:      not anymore unfortunately
meg:      i was having a nightmare
marcie:   suq
meg:      i was being forced to watch a britney spears video in which she was
          topless and had her nipples painted to look like eyes              
marcie:   ahahahahahahah
meg:      enough to shock any poor het girl out of slumber

				-- meg having bad dreams
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 August 2004

%%

Moni got black on them and started wiggling her head around
Moni:     I think they felt that
meg:      hahah
marcie:   hahaha
meg:      nice
marcie:   you're channelling some of your patients
Moni:     I think so
meg:      OH NO YOU DI"ENT
Moni:     Little Crackhead commen through me
Vanyel:   god
Vanyel:   we almost need a new form of punctuation for that
Vanyel:   the niglet

				-- Vanyel the grammar maven
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 August 2004

%%

meg:      we're gonna have a black female jewish president
meg:      when winged monkeys take tot he skies from Jake's fro

				-- meg predicting the future of politics
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 August 2004

%%

wob:      lets have devil sex.
devil:    scuse me?

				-- devil taking precautions
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 August 2004

%%

Kestrel:  now I have to ask Jen how ESS applies to mating strategies in
          gays... she has to explain SO much about the world to me     
Kestrel:  and wipe my chin after meals
Kestrel:  help pull up the depends
Kestrel:  trim the hedge that grows from the ears
Kestrel:  pluck the grey pubies
Kestrel:  shave the back
Vanyel:   yeah
Vanyel:   one of the great things about my woman
Vanyel:   she shaves mine
marcie:   ew.
Kestrel:  I was just kidding about the above list
Kestrel:  now I feel a little light headed

				-- Kestrel getting in over his head
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 August 2004

%%

Vanyel:   everyone in this area needs to turn down their fucking sound
Vanyel:   the guy behind me has something that makes the most annoying sound
Vanyel:   it sounds like tinkerbell taking a shit                           

				-- Vanyel annoyed at work, as usual
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 August 2004

%%

T:        i was at a local restaurant today with mom and was very surprised to
          see we had a visitor at the table.
T:        El cucaracha nino
T:        we left in a hurry
Jake:     ick
Jake:     thats no good
T:        you ain't kidding
Vanyel:   racist! youj dont like spanish cochroaches!
marcie:   ahhahahaha

				-- T the insect racist
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 August 2004

%%

janet:    darnit
janet:    I miss recess
janet:    when all your problems went away for 30 minutes
marcie:   and you could run around screaming and thrwoing things at people?
marcie:   yeah
marcie:   i miss that too
marcie:   ;)
janet:    it would sure give me more job satisfaction if I could get all the
          tenured faculty into the middle of a dodgeball game
wob:      hahaha

				-- janet wishing for days of yore
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 August 2004

%%

devil:    girls have colons :P
devil:    they are just rose-filled fragrant gardens of gaslessness
lanthis coughs

				-- devil answering sunbeam's question
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 August 2004

%%

Moni:     heh..just walked into the staff room and interrupted four male
          therapists discussing pewp                                    
Moni:     "well ya..I pooped three times today."
marcie:   it's like "Eagle's Nest: the live-action roleplaying game"
Moni:     they got real quiet when I entered the room
Moni:     'zactly
marcie:   if only they knew
devil:    did you act all demure like you never talk about poopies?
Moni:     yes
janet plots a histogram of the use of the word "ass" on EN by month
marcie feers
devil:    fools

				-- Moni the demure
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 August 2004

%%

haley:    eww
haley:    the dogs are dyking out in the entry way
marcie:   awesome
Pronell blinks.
haley:    lesbian olympics in the house
marcie:   yeah!
haley:    but one's bleeding
haley:    eww
marcie:   uh 
marcie:   ew
meg:      hey now
marcie:   that's not how we do it where *i'm* from...
haley:    I didn't ever want to see a dog's parts like I have this weekend
meg:      that did not need to be shared
Pronell:  Now that's an untapped porn market, I'm sure.

				-- haley's house
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 August 2004

%%

tish:     bob ross died...the guy on pbs who always painted "happy little
          trees" and shit
tish:     no wonder his show is never on anymore
marcie:   he wasn't already dead?
Pronell:  he's been dead for ages
marcie:   heh
meg:      are you perusing some kinda celeb death list or something
Pronell:  died from a happy little tumor

				-- Pronell's happy little quote
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 August 2004

%%

Vanyel:   good heavens!  it appears my wee-wee has been stricken with rigor
          mortis!

				-- Vanyel having problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 August 2004

%%

devil:    i wanna have mandatory evacuations on every beach trip
devil:    it gets rid of all of the people who don't want to party
devil:    and just leaves the fun people

				-- devil riding out the hurricane
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 August 2004

%%

devil:    i love this town
devil:    i saw more penises yesterday than i've ever seen in a single day
          before

				-- devil on vacation
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 August 2004

%%

janet burps almonds
Vanyel:   sexy 
janet:    damn right

				-- janet being sexy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 August 2004

%%

K:        you're fag parsley

				-- K with accusations
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 August 2004

%%

haley:    i almost got my lip ring ripped out...
Slayer:   ouch
Slayer:   how?
haley:    kissing my bf:)
Slayer:   again, how?
haley:    my ring got caught on his ...and we were standing, saying
          goodbye...and we pulled away, not realizing we were stuck until it
          hurt

				-- love among freaks
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 August 2004
%%

*** Jake has been disconnected
*** meg has been disconnected
marcie:   there goes luvewe
*** wob has been disconnected
tish:     ahahaha
tish:     the family that nets together gets booted together

				-- tish with the moral of the story
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 August 2004

%%

Beastie:  fuck i wanna move to san fran and pee on folks

				-- Beastie with career aspirations
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 August 2004

%%

Moni:     NBC, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. -- Track & Field; Trampoline Final
Moni:     Trampoline is a sport?
Vanyel:   it is if the women do it

				-- boingy boingy boingy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 August 2004

%%

Moni:     I just farted and the dog looked at me reproacfully and left the
          room
Moni follows the dog to go and fart on her
Moni:     hence my entertainment on a Sunday evening
Vanyel:   you dont like that dog do you

				-- Moni, the non-animal-lover
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 August 2004

%%

Jake:     damnit christy
Jake:     you need to be drinking more booze
Jake:     MORE I SAY
devil:    i know!
devil:    i need somebody to drink with me!
Jake:     get a pet
Jake:     or something inflatable
devil:    have pets
devil:    they are teetotallers

				-- devil's problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 August 2004

%%

Jake:     all I remember was a hellishly cold darkness
Jake:     that is all I remember from december
devil:    i commonly leave that impression

				-- devil scaring Jake off
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 August 2004

%%

Slayer:   homosexual sluts
Slayer:   sorry, k left and it felt empty
Jake:     duh
devil:    he just left cuz he felt his latent homosexuality stirring
ed:       he so wanted to bang jake.
Slayer:   who doesn't
devil:    nod

				-- Jake is popular
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 August 2004

%%

ed:       for the right brew
ed:       I'd gobble a cock 

				-- ed and his love affair with beer
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 August 2004

%%

K:        i'm losing my frontal lobe

				-- K explains it all
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 August 2004

%%

devil:    do you ever look down at your boob, realize there is a 2 inch
          scratch on it and think "how did i get that? i haven't even had any
          naughty sex lately"                                                

				-- devil with unexplained injuries
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 August 2004

%%

meg:      i'm gonna go crap out a republican turd now
marcie:   very good
ed:       it'll hurt
marcie:   name it W
ed:       something that dense has to be tough going on the colon

				-- ed with a warning
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 August 2004

%%

meg:      WHY CAN'T WE LOAD THE CHRISTIAN RIGHT ONTO A ROCKET AND SHOOT THEM
          INTO THE CENTER OF THE SUN SO THEY CAN BE CLOSER TO JEEBUS        

				-- meg being rantalicious
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 August 2004

%%

marcie:   ahahahhaAHHAAHAA
marcie:   K hugs janet if he isn't wearing makeup
marcie:   marcie:   i didn't know you wore makeup, K
marcie:   marcie:   the things i learn when i pay attention
marcie:   the things I find when I go through my logs
meg:      k likes to be pretty sometimes too

				-- meg sticking up for K
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 August 2004

%%

china:    who's touring with van halen these days anyhow?
Al:       a staff of geriatric nurses

				-- dweez's favorite band on tour
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 August 2004

%%

devil:    must we always talk about eating pussy around here?
wob:      yes.
Kestrel:  yes
marcie:   yes
devil:    i really must start hanging out with straight women

				-- devil needing friends
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 July 2004

%%

Vanyel:   rubadub dub, i net from the tub!

				-- Vanyel the addict
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 July 2004

%%

china:    ya know, I'm worried about one of my cats
china:    about 5:00 in the morning, he starts making out with me
marcie:   *snork*
china:    I mean, I'm hard up, but damn

				-- china having romantic difficulties
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 July 2004

%%

Spanky:   i am outside at a starbucks enjoying the yuppie lifestyle
Spanky:   i am also bringing peace and harmony to the world
Spanky:   through song
Spanky:   and masturbation

				-- Quasar making the world a better place
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 July 2004

%%

Moni:     dammit!!!
Moni:     just poured coffee on myself
marcie passes moni the napkins
Moni sucks on her skirt
marcie blinks
Moni:     not gonna waste a latte

				-- Moni wastes not, wants not
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 July 2004

%%

Jake:     you all are so mean

				-- Jake getting his feelings hurt
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 July 2004

%%

sunbeam:  but i'm 100% ca. girl
twinkie:  yeah
twinkie:  i am not 
twinkie:  obviously
sunbeam:  i use the word totally too often to move to any other state

				-- sunbeam the California girl, OMG, totally
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 July 2004

%%

ed:       mahahahaha
ed:       you can drink for free at my house
wob:      hahhahaah
ed:       you just have to belly up to the coq
Vanyel:   yeah ed
Vanyel:   goddamnit
Vanyel:   next time, you have to come
marcie:   yes
marcie:   fucking ed
ed cums on leo
Vanyel:   i should have seen that
Vanyel:   err
Vanyel:   approaching

				-- Vanyel making a Freudian slip
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 July 2004

%%

devil:    i'm gonna regrow my virginity
dweez:    really?
devil:    yeah
dweez:    cool!
devil:    some people grow tomatoes

				-- devil's new hobby
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 July 2004

%%

marcie:   i need to wash my eyebrow piercing again
marcie:   good thing saliva has healing properties
marcie pulls her tongue back in
devil:    oh my
Moni faints
devil:    maybe i should turn to the other side
Moni:     yes..see what you are missing
marcie:   that's damn right

				-- marcie impressing the girlies
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 July 2004

%%

Slayer:   i found one of the funniest sites i've seen in a while
Slayer:   it was instructions for "real christians" on how to answer jehovah's
          witnesses
marcie:   ha
marcie:   let's see
Slayer:   it was not unlike watching two geeks slapfight

				-- Slayer the religion student
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 July 2004

%%

megafk:   "in case of rapture this bbs will finally be k-free"

				-- meg, full of hope
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 July 2004

%%

Al:       I IOW, and when I come back, the topic is poop again.
Al:       ah, this is such a warm fuzzy homey kinda place :)

				-- Al feels the love
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 July 2004

%%

janet:    this place needs streaming bagpipe music

				-- janet making plans
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 July 2004

%%

dweez:    tonight i drank mor than 'normal'
wob:      well a true wino drinks straight outa the bag
Jake:     right
wob:      like a bum.
wob:      whats normal? a bottle? 2 bottles?
wob:      :)
dweez:    no bag
wob:      GIMME BAGGIE
wob:      b4gg13
china:    no, a TRUE wino can drink it straight out of the bag AFTER the
          bottle has broken and BEFORE and can leak out
Al:       damn.
china:    it can leak out
Moni:     impressive
china:    I'm Nancy, and I *AM* an alcoholic
marcie:   very 
marcie grins
dweez:    no lie
china bows

				-- China the expert
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 July 2004

%%

china:    Her son could probably use some material from the quote file for his
          ventriloquist act, though
marcie:   hahahaha
china:    Can you see it now? JJ names his new dummy "k"

				-- China on her boss
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 July 2004

%%

china:    man, being alone in the house again is kinda nice
china:    I forgot that I can just crank it on up in the other room
china:    and walk around nekkid
Al:       *perk*
china:    well, I need to finish putting up curtains really
china:    ;)
china:    or start charging

				-- China gaining a second business
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 July 2004

%%

Vanyel:   73% humidity
Vanyel:   what the FUCK is up with that
IGadget:  its 100% humid here
IGadget:  then again its raining

				-- IGadget on the weather
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 July 2004

%%

Slayer:   and if you're in a jam i'll let you hold my nuts
Vanyel:   uhm.
Vanyel:   thanks.
Vanyel:   I got my own pair though.

				-- Vanyel turning down an offer
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 July 2004

%%

dweez:    i've never smoked a doob rolled in dried 12yr old boy foreskin

				-- dweez's world travels
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 July 2004

%%

Vanyel:   the boardroom smelled like fried abbajabba

				-- Van on non-bathing engineers
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 July 2004

%%

Slayer:   i've decided i want joe pesci to sing at my wedding if i ever have
          one

				-- Slayer planning for the future
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 July 2004

%%

Slayer:   you gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little, tease a little more
janet:    I probably don't want to know what you're talking about.
Slayer:   heathen
Slayer:   don't you know def leppard?
marcie:   easy operator, come a-knockin on my dooooor
Slayer:   yes
Slayer lesbian kisses marcie
marcie swoons or something
Slayer:   good enough
janet:    yeah I know the song :P
Slayer:   good girl
Slayer:   you may live for 24 more of your earth hours
Slayer:   that would be something, if aliens based our worth of living on our
          knowledge of glam rock lyrics.
janet:    great
janet:    now I've got 'true colors' stuck in my head
Slayer:   my work here is done
janet:    curse you cyndi lauper!!!

				-- janet and Slay's battle of the bands
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 July 2004

%%


Jim:      Sat    ell   ite  I    PS er r ^H^H^H^H FUCKING LATENCY!

				-- Jim having lag issues
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 July 2004

%%

Jim:      A fin appearing and disappearing in your bath is a very bad sign

				-- Jim having problems bathing
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 July 2004

%%

Slayer:   who wants homemade biscuits, eggs, and ham?
marcie:   that would roughly be me
twinkie:  sounds good
twinkie:  i havent ate today
Slayer:   ha ha too late we already got them all
marcie:   bastard!
twinkie:  meanie
Slayer:   well maybe if yall woke me up the way my girl did...
twinkie:  drooled on you
marcie:   ahahah
twinkie:  well that is one way to wake up indeed

				-- twinkie waking up
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 July 2004

%%

Slayer:   the high today is supposed to be 98
marcie:   yeah tell me about it
Slayer:   no
marcie:   okay
Slayer:   i'm going to cry in the fridge instead

				-- Slayer, crazy with the heat
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 July 2004

%%

marcie:   good morning ed :)
ed:       wordup, my favorite dykeee
ed:       I almost had a wet dream last night
ed:       you were not present
Slayer:   was i?
ed:       maybe
Slayer:   naughty
ed:       do you like to dress up like a teletubby?
Slayer:   who told?

				-- Slayer's perversions
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 July 2004

%%

janet debates whether it's worth the effort of small claims court for $100
Slayer:   probably not
Slayer:   i don't think it's worth it and i'm poor
janet:    more to send a message than anything else
Al:       bah.
Slayer:   that's usually a waste of time and resources
Al:       Jerry can, $5
Slayer:   but go ahead
Al:       two gallons of gas, $5
Al:       book of matches, 59c
Al:       sending a message, priceless.

				-- Al with the solution
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 July 2004

%%

wob:      my life has just halted. google is broke.

				-- wob in the midst of a crisis
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 July 2004

%%

Vanyel:   living in california is like living in an abusive relationship.  You
          may love it, but it won't stop beating the crap out of you till you 
          leave it

				-- Vanyel's love life
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 July 2004

%%

ed:       fucking garbage men refused to take our trash this morning.
ed:       I've got two full cans of stinking shit
ed:       nasty note attached "over 50lbs"
ed:       no fucking shit!
Vanyel:   "We're sorry, your trash is not smelly and stinky enough.  Try
          again, trollbait!"
Vanyel:   over 50lbs?
ed:       one of them has 30lbs of wet, stinky grain from sundays brew-session
Vanyel:   what the fuck?
Moni:     ew
ed:       the other has 30lbs of stinky, catshitfilled litter
Vanyel:   I mean jesus christ
ed:       I say
ed:       if you don't want to lift heavy stinky shit
ed:       go to fucking college

				-- ed being classist
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 July 2004

%%

Vanyel:   Is hanging articles you've written in your office too much of an ego
          trip?
cuinhell: depends on the ego
Vanyel:   mine
cuinhell: no
Vanyel:   ok

				-- Vanyel attempting humility
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 July 2004

%%

Moni:     you know you work in Rehab when the bathroom reading material is the
          AA Big Book.                                                        

				-- Moni's work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 July 2004

%%

janet does another line of cocoa powder

				-- Janet's habit
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 July 2004

%%

marcie:   the head chik (under the man, of course) is Beverly LaHaye
janet:    http://www.cwfa.org/main.asp
marcie:   who is the wife of Tim LaHaye
marcie:   who wrote the Left Behind series
marcie:   it's a fundie circlejerk
Moni:     now there's an image I don't need
marcie:   heh, sorry
janet:    ew
wob:      yeah
wob:      thats disturbing
Moni:     Jerk off for Jesus
marcie:   ahahaha
janet:    wait a minute...that's not holy water???
wob:      Moni:     Jerk off for Jesus
wob:      Moni:     Jerk off for Jesus
wob:      Moni:     Jerk off for Jesus
wob:      hahahaha
wob:      IM ALL FOR THAT
wob:      JESUS NEEDS SOME CUM IN HIS EYEW
wob:      -W
janet:    fudie bukakke?
janet:    +n
meg:      bukakke potluck dinner
Moni:     WLWJU?  What Lube Would Jesus Use?
marcie:   "let us bow and pray" *spooge*
meg:      let us bob our heads up and down on the knob of christ
marcie:   that really, *really* needs to be a porno
Moni:     oh ya
Moni:     with all the diciples
janet:    I'm sure there's at least one out there
marcie:   most definitely
marcie:   including "the disciple Jesus loved"
janet:    an anti the-devil-in-miss-jones
wob:      bobbin' f or christ
marcie:   it can't be wrong, it's in the bible!
Moni:     and just HOW did Judas betray Jesus?
meg:      filled with the holy spirit
marcie:   you know it
Moni:     oh..it could even include a prison scene
marcie:   totally
janet:    Jesus II: He's back, He's mad, and they'll never cross him again.
Moni:     and satan buttplugs
marcie:   and some hurt/comfort sex with jesus praying the night before the
          crucifixion
marcie:   yeah
marcie:   i like it
janet:    the real passion of christ?
marcie:   hahaha
marcie:   yes!
wob:      hahahaha
wob:      The passion of Little Christ
meg:      jesus would be a bottom i bet
meg:      his pain, your gain
wob:      yeah
marcie:   he's a big hippie
wob:      he's not a drver
wob:      driver
marcie:   he could never be a top
Moni:     He's the orginal Hippie
marcie:   too busy trying to score weed to worry about it
wob:      hahahaha
Moni:     long hair, sandles
wob:      spliff in his mouth, dick in his ass
marcie:   damn right
meg:      man why isn't k here right now
marcie:   YEAH
janet:    we are now armed with mighty joint.
Moni:     little bondage in there too with the cross scene
Moni:     some SM with the flogging
janet:    mmm
Moni:     we've got it all
marcie:   yes
Moni:     I'm so going to hell.
Moni:     Oh wait
Moni:     I'm Jewish
Moni:     there IS not hell
wob:      yeah so you're going anyway
wob:      ;)
marcie:   ahahah 
Moni:     woohoo!
marcie converts to judaism
marcie:   let's go!
wob:      remember, only the mormons goto heaven
wob:      the rest of us are fucked!
janet:    isn't jewish hell supposed to be having to pay retail?
Moni:     DK is so Not going to heaven
wob:      hahaha
Moni 5's Janet 
wob:      yes, its paying everything in even dollar amounts
wob:      isntead of 9.95
marcie:   and all god's people said "amen!"

				-- loading up the bus to hell yet again
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 July 2004

%%

devil:    someday, when i grow up
devil:    i want to be able to sleep normal hours

				-- devil has a dream
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 June 2004

%%

twinkie:  damn enzyte comercial again!
twinkie:  i dont want penis enhancement medicine!!!!
janet:    tell me about it.

				-- Janet has her priorities
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 June 2004

%%

K:        if i smoked weed
K:        i woudl be too shy to injoy
marcie:   "if"?
K:        i stopped smoking weed
K:        you silly billies
janet:    aw geez
Vanyel:   just because you ran out of weed doesnt mean you quit

				-- Vanyel just says no
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 June 2004

%%

K:        marcie
K:        i drive all aroudn this town
marcie:   hi
K:        daily
K:        nightly
marcie:   drunk?
K:        remember who i am.

				-- K, the man
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 June 2004

%%

janet:    hell, tapeworms can fuck themselves to breed if they want :)
Slayer:   so can k
Slayer:   but don't encourage him

				-- Slayer cautioning the masses
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 June 2004

%%

Vanyel:   god
K deposits a load into leo's anus
marcie:   stop praying, leo
Vanyel:   ooh. 
marcie:   it's bringing you fucked up things
Vanyel:   I see that.

				-- Vanyel getting religion
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 June 2004

%%

Vanyel:   don't disrespect my religion
K:        hey i respect all religions
K:        except star trek

				-- K the diverse
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 June 2004

%%

krokus:   so get to it, you can burn and net at the same time.
Moni:     The dog found a Stress Ball, ripped it to shreds and scattered
          little grains of something all over the living room           
marcie:   oh dear
Moni:     This did not help my stress level

				-- Moni trying to relax
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 June 2004

%%

IGadget:  hmm there is something Ive been meaning to ask dev. why when a cat
          is taken to the vet to be spayed or neutered, it is called "getting
          them fixed" when really you are breaking them.
Slayer:   to trick them into going voluntarily, of course

				-- Slayer the clever
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 June 2004

%%

wob:      thats goddamn disgusting
Jake:     you're goddamn disgusting
Jake:     goddamnit
wob:      goddamnit.
wob:      TOUCH IT
Jake:     NO
Jake:     YOU TOUCH IT
Vanyel:   woah what did I miss

				-- brotherly love!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 June 2004

%%

Jake:     hopefully genetic engineering will provide for custom-tailored
          livers soon
Jake:     then I can be drunk 24/7!

				-- Jake has a dream
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 June 2004

%%

devil:    my dock was being naughty
Moni:     spank it
devil:    i try not to spank things that i sleep with
Moni:     funny..it's the opposite for me

				-- devil having computer problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 June 2004

%%

*** dweez has entered room 'Main'
dweez:    fucking network guy
IGadget:  is he enjoying it?

				-- dweezie's new relationship
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 June 2004

%%

Vanyel just installed a water pik shower thingy in the twinksters bathroom
Vanyel:   cuz, well, you know
Vanyel:   i'll be travelling a lot, soon

				-- Vanyel seeing to his woman's needs
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 June 2004

%%

twinkie:  maybe i will get a fish
Vanyel:   kitty.
twinkie:  and name it kitty
Vanyel:   i want you to have a kitty, you big dork

				-- Vanyel's pets
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 June 2004

%%

china:    when you have ferrets, you don't need cable

				-- China being entertained
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 June 2004

%%

Moni:     my pants have shrunk
Moni:     bad pants           

				-- Moni correcting her clothing
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 June 2004

%%

ed sips a beer
ed:       its goiing to be tough to go back to work for so many reasons.

				-- ed the slacker
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 June 2004

%%

ed kicks marcies ass
marcie:   thanks ed
marcie:   i love you man
ed:       I know you do
ed:       and you'd wonder about how much I loved you, if you knew the last
          time I even saw hint of a live snatch

				-- ed with needs
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 June 2004

%%

tish:     my head hurts
tish:     i need sex
janet:    I like your logic

				-- janet taking notes
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 June 2004

%%

twinkie:  i like my men geeky with weird ass tshirts 

				-- twinkie's ideal man
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 June 2004

%%

*** Moni has entered room 'Main'
Moni:     drinakydrinakydrnkydrunk
tish:     gee, moni....drink much tonight?
Moni:     a glssah of wne
tish:     i think you misspelled bottle

				-- tishy correcting Moni's spelling
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 June 2004

%%

*** AlFK is now known as Al
Moni:     Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's  
Moni:     Al!
marcie:   :)
Al:       oh...hi.

				-- Al, thrilled
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 June 2004

%%

Moni screams at her pants
marcie:   yeah!

				-- Moni shouting it out
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 June 2004

%%

Slayer:   quick!  get some help!  my hand and penis are fighting!
devil:    i bet that's unusual
marcie:   i'm not sure who to, um, pull for
Slayer:   just grab somethign and start tugging
devil:    i prefer to be a nonparticipating, nonobserving bystander as far as
          possible from the action
marcie:   what she said

				-- the girls hiding from the action
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 June 2004

%%

Al:       so I'm going to an anti-low-carb protest rally this evening
Vanyel:   awesome!
Vanyel:   i'm all about that
Vanyel:   i'm on the all-carbs diet
Moni:     bring donuts
marcie:   and beer
Al:       http://www.syracuse.com/search/index.ssf?/base/living-0/108720223027
          9563.xml?syrlikra                                                   
Moni:     I love carbs
Al:       in the trunk of the grape right now...
Al:       ...are twelve boxes of Twinkies.
Al:       I work around the corner rom the Hostess shop
Moni:     and not low-carb Twinkies, I hope
Al:       $22 of mass-produced artificially sweetened cream-filled pastry
Moni:     oh ya
Moni:     so good
Al:       I'll also take the video cam
Al:       don't know how many people will show up
Al:       I'm expecting to see a dozen or so people with about as much of a
          life as I have
Al:       :)
Al:       tho
Al:       if I'm the smallest person there
Al:       I'm going to run away scared

				-- Al the health nut
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 June 2004

%%

K:        dig this chick i'm datin:
K:        i'm sittin here watching television
K:        and some autozone commercial comes on during the playoffs
K:        and she goes 'those are some nice vice grips'
K:        wtf?
Veritech: that's a keeper. 
K:        hear hear!
Veritech: mine talked me into turning my old scsi drives into a raid. 
Veritech: so i married her
K:        werd

				-- geek love
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 June 2004

%%

Paris:    i chopped up a watermelon there once
Paris:    well, six watermelons
Paris:    that got me into trouble
devil:    why did you have six watermelons?
Paris:    so i could chop them up!
marcie:   obviously!
Paris:    perhaps the turtles and i can come to some sort of accord
Paris:    however, devil
Al:       or at least a civic
Paris:    you should acquire a watermelon, and a dowel rod, and a sword
devil:    no thanks
Paris:    wait wait, you don't even know where i am going with this
Paris:    so then, take the watermelon
Paris:    and hit it with the sword, followed by the dowel rod
devil:    and where are you going with this?
Paris:    i'm done
Paris:    that's why i had six watermelons :)
devil:    snicker

				-- Paris's adventures with fruit
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 June 2004

%%

retard:   is that a picture of rasputin's penis?
Al:       uh, no. it's quite worksafe.
retard:   then i don't wanna see it
retard:   i've confined my jpg viewing today to one thing and one thing only
Al:       yeah, but how many pics of Bea Arthur can there possibly be out
          there?
retard:   you win again

				-- Paris with an obsession
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 June 2004

%%

janet:    hm
janet:    I just heard an earthshattering *whomp* and someone scream, "not
          there!"                                                         
marcie:   oh dear
janet:    construction can be so entertaining

				-- janet enjoying her afternoon
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 June 2004

%%

saundo:   shaddap, or I'll armor plate ed's TWW and let him loose
marcie:   ooh
saundo:   that is to say, repair the armor plate
marcie:   now that's a threat
saundo:   he'll have the heaviest schlong known to man
cuinhell: metal toothpick of doom

				-- ed's mighty TWW
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 May 2004

%%

meg:      spam subject:
meg:      can you really make your wee-wee bigger?
meg:      if any guy is still calling his a wee-wee
meg:      he's not ready for it to be bigger

				-- meg on maturity
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 May 2004

%%

ed:       yo
ed:       slaywhore the great.
Slayer:   i like that
Slayer:   address me thusly henceforth
ed:       aye
ed:       slaywhore
Slayer:   the great
ed:       I shall shorten it, as is my wont.
Slayer:   the title is necessary to affirm my glory
ed:       your glory shall be reaffirmed 
ed:       when the day or reckoning is among us.
Slayer:   i guess i'll wait then

				-- royalty learning patience
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 May 2004

%%

Slayer:   you know you need to take a step back when you have to pull
          electrical tape off your ass after masturbating            

				-- Slayer taking a breather
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 May 2004

%%

dweez gets his wine glass out
marcie:   gimme
devil pours
marcie:   mmm
dweez pretends he's devils father & spanks her for bad behavior
marcie:   wine
devil:    ohhhh, spank me big daddy!!
devil:    :P
marcie:   C|N>K
dweez:    hahhahh
marcie:   good god
MOni falls out
devil:    what'd i do this time?
marcie:   hahahaha
marcie:   oh man               
dweez:    C|N>K ?
marcie:   Coke piped through nose, redirected out to keyboard
dweez:    C or N is greater htan K?
dweez:    k       
janet reads and sputters
dweez looks at moni who has fallen out
marcie:   devil:    ohhhh, spank me big daddy!!
marcie:   devil:    :P
marcie:   devil:    ohhhh, spank me big daddy!!
marcie:   devil:    :P
marcie:   devil:    ohhhh, spank me big daddy!!
marcie:   devil:    :P
marcie:   love it
devil:    dammit, i never get my homework done around here
marcie:   LOVE YOU CHRISTY
marcie:   YOU BIG FREAK
marcie:   ahahahahhaahaha
devil:    O:)

				-- devil making moni's day
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 May 2004

%%

wob:      ok back to t he lab
wob:      i swear i need a pole to ride down
wob:      like the bat cave

				-- wob to the rescue!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 May 2004

%%

Jake:     mmm maltose
Vanyel:   maltose    
Vanyel:   thats the kind of sugar that gives you the shits and eats away your
          insides?
Slayer:   no, that's called "women"
Vanyel:   ah.

				-- Vanyel getting schooled
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 May 2004

%%

meg:      nobody gets laid on CBS

				-- meg on TV
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 May 2004

%%

Moni:     omg..these adult learning classes have really gotten out there.
Moni:     Director Joe Gallant and actress Angel Baby demonstrate how to shoot
          an adult video for a Learning Annex class                           
dweez:    uhh
Moni:     what ever happend to knitting classes

				-- Moni longing for the good old days
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 May 2004

%%

K:        I HAVE JESUS IN THE TRUNK!

				-- K going on about religion
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 May 2004

%%

ed:       and an qwest co tech in the quicklime is worth two in the cement
          pylon

				-- ed with sage advice
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 May 2004

%%

Moni:     vokda
Moni:     see..I think about drinking and I stop being abl eto teyp
Moni:     goddammit

				-- Moni the substance abuse counselor
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 May 2004

%%

devil:    i can't remember the last time i bought milk
devil:    i prefer to get my calcium from leafy green vegetables
devil:    gimme broccoli and spinach any day
janet:    yeah, but broccoli just doesn't work as well on corn flakes

				-- janet with culinary advice
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 May 2004

%%

Vanyel:   I want a caddy.
Vanyel:   when I run people over, I dont want to feel the bumps

				-- Vanyel planning his next vehicle purchase
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 May 2004

%%

ed:       *why* did I not become a gravedigger.

				-- ed lamenting his choice of profession
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 April 2004

%%

devil:    but walking around thinking about how cute my underwear is doesn't
          lead to a professional countenance                                
Xi:       that depends on the profession

				-- devil the professional
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 April 2004

%%

saundo:   it is odd
saundo:   but strangely appealing. at least it wasn't *gag* sammy hagar
firl:     oh whoa there. I <3 Sammay Hagar
saundo:   uhoh, van halen holy war. need my asbestos underwear for this one!
firl:     hehehe
firl:     I think, if Kevin and I ever break up, it will be over Sammy Hagar!
saundo:   ahahahahaha
saundo:   he's be the downfall of many a relationship
firl:     that, and raisins.

				-- firl with relationship differences
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 April 2004

%%

Vanyel:   mmmm freezer fresh shorts

				-- the pause that refreshes
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 April 2004

%%

dweez:    there's nothing i'd like more than a 36 hour erection

				-- dweez has a dream
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 April 2004

%%

Manuka:   wow, the things you learn from your kids
Manuka:    i didn't know that hummus could be used as a hairstyling product

				-- Manuka learning to be a daddy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 April 2004

%%

Vanyel:   oh slay
Vanyel:   theres an olsen twins movie coming out
Slayer:   unless it's called "twincest" i'm pretty sure i won't be interested

				-- Slay setting his standards
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 April 2004

%%

janet:    RFC822 motherfucker DO YOU SPEAK IT?!?

				-- Janet having a rough morning
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 April 2004

%%

Slayer:   oh check it out
Slayer:   according to Glamour, it's once again men's fault when women don't
          orgasm                                                            
Slayer:   first women were frigid
marcie:   depends on the man and woman
marcie:   heh
Slayer:   then men were impatient
Slayer:   then women didn't communicate their feelings to men
marcie:   it's good to see we're trading off blame
Slayer:   but now men are goal oriented and think that sex has to end in
          orgasm
Slayer:   it's no wonder that women are insane and fucked in the head, reading
          all this conflicting information in their own magazines             
Slayer:   our magazines always say the same thing
Slayer:   woman won't go out with you = lesbian
Slayer:   woman who doesn't orgasm = lesbian
marcie:   at least you're consistent
Slayer:   etc
Slayer:   we have to have some standards
marcie:   however low they may be
Slayer:   watch it, lesbian

				-- Slayer is from Mars
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 April 2004

%%

dweez:    i have a penis larger than most women

				-- dweez bragging
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 April 2004

%%

Al:       I ran out of brain at work today.

				-- Al with career difficulties
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 April 2004

%%

T-ruth:   Does anyone know a good tutorial on "how to handle boobs?".. I can't
          find one.. ;-(

				-- T'ruth needing help
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 April 2004

%%

Moni pours devil some hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps
devil loves on moni
Moni:     :>
devil:    jesus moni, you just came closer to giving me an orgasm than my man
          the other night :P                                                 
Moni:     YES!

				-- Moni scoring
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 April 2004

%%

Slayer:   any story that contains the words "throbbing fucktool" is not going
          to be winning any hugo awards


				-- Slayer's reading habits
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 April 2004

%%

Slayer:   i hate porn with music 
dweez:    turn you speakers off 
Slayer:   but then i can't hear the barking

				-- Slayer's viewing habits
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 April 2004

%%

devil:    does getting fucked by the tax man count as having sex?

				-- devil's new relationship
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 April 2004

%%

Vanyel:   Ah springtime - the flowers are blooming, the birds are singing and
          the geologists are again predicting doom for the San Andreas fault 

				-- Vanyel enjoying the season
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 April 2004

%%

IGadget:  I need a job again, Ive been fired by the same guy three times, I
          dont at this point know which of us was the dumber

				-- IGadget with employment problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 April 2004

%%

devil:    you know your office is odd when you sit down and realize there is a
          dead love bird beside your keyboard                                 

				-- devil's office
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 April 2004

%%

devil:    if you blow through a urinary catheter that has been in a cat's
          penis, are you essentially blowing a cat?
Vanyel:   devil, you scare me sometimes
Jim:      that is one of the most frightening questions ive seen asked here
Jim:      and given history, thats quite an achievement

				-- devil freaking everyone out
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 April 2004

%%

ed:       the problem here is penetration

				-- hmmm...
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 April 2004

%%

Sarge:    I just picked up a 19 year old drunk off his ass

				-- Sarge having fun
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 April 2004

%%

janet:    mmm lambs blood
janet:    it makes great salad dressing

				-- janet celebrating Passover
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 April 2004

%%

sunbeam:  what could i use for a username
K:        cumwhore9
K:        what's wrong with sunbeam?
K:        i love it
sunbeam:  it's already taken
K:        i'm sure it is.
sunbeam:  so what's another one
K:        dickslut10

				-- K, helpful
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 April 2004

%%

Sarge:    the best time I had was when a Vice-Provost wanted to rename our
          res-hall IT support department to Campus Life Information Technology
          Services
meg:      ahhaha
Sarge:    needless to say the acroymn was brought to their attention and they
          didn't do it
marcie:   that's a damn shame
Sarge:    C.L.I.T.S.---Where always here, you just can never find us..
Sarge:    where=we're
meg:      shit
meg:      when did you get funny

				-- meg stands amazed
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 April 2004

%%

Courtney went to a fashion show tonight
Courtney: by myself
Courtney: i drank red wide and felt liek I was on sex and the city
Courtney: except
Courtney: I was alone
          days
Courtney: and it felt liek everyone was staring at me like "ohh that poor girl
          couldnt find someone to come with"
marcie:   i was with you in spirit, courtho
marcie:   i was in your glass of red wine
devil:    dude
devil:    if there was red wine             
devil:    i was there                 
marcie:   where you consume two or more drinks in my name, there am i also.

				-- marcie the religious
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 April 2004

%%

Vanyel:   penises are about as much fun a sbreasts
Vanyel:   tho, your boobs dont hang between your legs
sunbeam:  i think it all depends on how big they are

				-- discussions of anatomy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 March 2004

%%

Al:       was I about to go look for ice cream, or do I need to buy new socks?
Al:       should I pour a glass of jim beam, do I need to wind my clocks?
Al:       I don't know where my head's been, or where it's going to
Al:       am I bound for the looney bin, or will it be the zoo?
Al bows
DontKnow: you're already in the zoo.
china:    that's true
Vanyel:   i have to poo
Al:       no surprise, knowing you
Vanyel:   you just say that cuz I am a jew
china:    *snork*

				-- beat poetry on EN
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 March 2004

%%

Moni:     Our elderly, one-legged security guard, fell asleep in his chair and
          peed himself
Moni:     I love working here

				-- Moni with a security update
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 March 2004

%%

Slayer:   there's something about waking up and being presented with a plate
          of freshly cooked heart

				-- Slayer enjoying breakfast
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 March 2004

%%

Moni:     I'm allergic to work
Moni:     wonder if I can get workmans comp for that

				-- Moni pondering the future
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 March 2004

%%

Manuka:   must be spring
Manuka:   i can hear the bunnies humping outside my window

				-- Manuka observing the circle of life
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 March 2004

%%

Slayer:   how do you spell eminem, like that white rapper dude
ed:       "w-i-g-g-e-r"

				-- ed the spelling champion
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 March 2004

%%

Xi:       security design by router monkeys, next on geraldo

				-- Xi with another exciting day at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 March 2004

%%

Vanyel:   I actually miss irix.
Vanyel:   maybe its because my asshole has finally healed

				-- Vanyel craving more punishment
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 March 2004

%%

ed:       how do you all travel with Jake?  He is like a midget with a
          sheepskin on his head
wob:      we put him in a kennel
devil:    is he properly kennel trained?
ed:       does he thrash and kick?
devil:    or does he purr happily?
wob:      we just smoke him out beforehand
wob:      no biggie
devil:    so he purrs then
wob:      more or less

				-- Jake is properly trained
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 March 2004 

%%

lisa:     why don't i get any fun emails
lisa:     i don't care how to enlarge my penis

				-- lisa being bored
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 March 2004

%%

carrye:   poo can be fun.

				-- carrye's entertainment
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 March 2004

%%

Slayer:   the worst is having to haul your 3 and 5 year old cousins with you
          to the store
Slayer:   one at a time isn't so bad
Slayer:   so i just "let" them ride in the trunk
Slayer:   they stopped fighting after the first few times

				-- Slayer being a good babysitter
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 March 2004

%%

Shimbo:   i don't mind piss, but i draw the line at shit

				-- Shimbo setting his sexual standards
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 March 2004

%%

Moni:     I seriously think that Hell consists of endless staff meetings.

				-- Moni back at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 March 2004

%%

taco:     I LOVE JESUS!!!!!!!
devil:    are you fucking possessed?

				-- devil worried
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 March 2004

%%

saundo:   there's nothing like une enormous frenchman^Wshit to make the day
          right again

				-- saundo, relieved
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 March 2004

%%

wob:      i swear this room is all about sex or computers

				-- wob with a discovery
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 March 2004

%%

K:        oh and if pharmaceutical reps try to talk you into one of those hard
          on pills
K:        like viagra, cialis, levitra, etc
K:        just say NO
K:        i was like my dick works what are ou guys talkin about it enhances,
          yours isn't good enough?
K:        but i took the free samples they gave me at the bar
K:        i got bored.            
K:        i took one        
K:        i had a raging boner for 3 days straight
K:        never again.

				-- Kevin having physical problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 February 2004

%%

devil:    socks must be arranged with cute underwear in a manner that will
          distract baggage inspectors and hasten the passage of my bag

				-- devil packing for a plane trip
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 February 2004

%%

Sarge:    ok I no longer support gay marriage..  Rosie O'donnell is doing it
Sarge:    no one should marry her, end of story                             

				-- Sarge changing his political position
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 February 2004

%%

marcie:   i am brining the craptop too
marcie:   and ilife
Vanyel:   cool
Al:       miller ilife?
Vanyel slaps Al about the head and neck
Al:       take it easy, bud...of coors you know that slapping me is a becks of
          a thing to do...I'd have to knock you on your bass.                 
Vanyel:   oh god i had to read that twice
marcie:   hahahahahahha

				-- Al punning away
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 February 2004

%%

meg:      wwjd? jeebus would stfu and take his nailing like a man

				-- meg on "The Passion of the Christ"
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 February 2004

%%

Moni:     things I don't want to hear, part 6587. While screening a client
          "Gee Doc, you are one hot mama."
Moni bangs her head

				-- Moni's trials and tribulations 
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 February 2004

%%

Slayer:   that new video card alex had to give me is great
Slayer:   i can see BSODs in crisp bright colour

				-- Slayer with PC improvements
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 February 2004

%%

marcie:   civil disobedience makes me hot

				-- Vanyel made me quote this
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 February 2004

%%

devil:    mmmm, get the mac
devil:    most pleasure i've had in my lap in a long time :P

				-- devil and her Powerbook
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 February 2004

%%

devil:    dammit, i've been up this dog's butt so many times that it feels
          like i'm fisting cows again

				-- devil at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 February 2004

%%

ed:       cp /dev/null /vmunix ; reboot ; badge on desk ;
          resignation-letter-to-boss ; ssh pub           
marcie:   wr0d

				-- ed quits
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 February 2004

%%

Courtney: god may hate me but beer loves me
Courtney: so life is good

				-- Courtney with her priorities in order
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 February 2004

%%

Moni will be happy when her shoulder are out of her earlobes
Vanyel:   oh shit wait
Vanyel:   this doesnt have anything to do with the menstrual cycle does it?

				-- Vanyel needing information
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 February 2004

%%

Moni:     oh bummer. I thought I had a piece of chocolate in my desk and I
          don't
Moni:     pewp
ed:       uh..it is a piece of poop
ed:       or, "poop, I don't have any chocolate"
Moni:     no pewp in my desk
Moni:     poop,  I don't have any chocolate
ed:       you've mentioned patients and shitting vomiting before
ed:       I had to check

				-- ed checking on Moni's health & well-being
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 February 2004

%%

meg:      GET OUTTA MY VULVA YOU DAMN YAPPY DOG

				-- meg having problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 February 2004

%%

meg:      i got an email from "permiscuous"
meg:      is that like a slut with a bad fro

				-- FROTASTIC!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 February 2004

%%

china:    the curling iron, which was in the bathroom, now looks like a g-spot
          tickler.

				-- china on her house catching on fire
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 February 2004

%%

janet:    HP box ate another disk, taking the entire rest of the system now
janet:    out of 16 boxes in the last 4 months, 5 have now done this
janet:    these things suck so hard they've wrapped around and are now blowing

				-- janet hard at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 February 2004

%%

wob:      time to go take the afternoon crap and think about the FBI
...
wob:      aaaaaaaah
wob:      its so easy to evacuate the lower intestine when i think about the
          FBI

				-- wob facilitating a dialogue with the 
				authorities
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 February 2004

%%

Vanyel:   netware makes my vagina bleed

				-- Vanyel having his period
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 February 2004

%%

Moni:     it kinda segwayed into ed's nuts
Al:       they're coated with salt pepper paprika and who knows what all else

				-- ed's mighty nuts
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 February 2004

%%

Moni:     patient just handed me a 12 page detailed form to fill out and
          stated I had to fill it out asap, becuase she has to fax it into her
          employer today
Moni:     I burst out laughing
Moni:     I think I need to work on my theraputic skills

				-- Moni needing job training
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 February 2004

%%

meg:      qwest is great at& t is good thank you sprint for all the food amen

				-- meg praying to her gods
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 February 2004

%%

devil:    here's a tip for you all
devil:    if your vet asks you if your dog ate some of your pot, fess up
          immediately
devil:    we can actually tell

				-- devil the professional
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 February 2004

%%

devil:    how long should you really have to completely ignore somebody before
          they go away?
janet:    devil, having recent experience with this, I can say that
          restraining orders work better than ignoring.
devil:    they're my employees
janet:    dang

				-- janet with good, but irrelevant, advice
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 February 2004

%%

Vanyel picks up sarge and hits gadget with him
devil:    interesting choice of weapon
Vanyel:   not really, I just grabbed for teh first heavy, blunt object i could
          find

				-- Vanyel perpetuating violence
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 February 2004

%%

devil:    man, there are some ugly dogs out there
devil:    if you are buying a dog that is a "rare breed"
devil:    don't you think "wait, why is it a rare breed?"
devil:    "is it because it is buttugly?"
marcie:   hahahahah

				-- devil the veterinarian with standrads
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 February 2004

%%

janet:    6 hours to L.A., sure
janet:    but punching through L.A. is a pain, even on I5
Vanyel:   jeez, last time I hit LA I did it in less than 5 hours
Vanyel:   but I was skirting around the edge of it
janet:    were you driving like a crazed maniac?
Vanyel:   not a craized one

				-- Vanyel the *normal* maniac, dammit
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 February 2004

%%

Xi:       a jihad upon your packets@!

				-- Xi raining down curses
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 February 2004

%%

Vanyel:   why would a cat ever have sex if it hurt
devil:    female cats won't ovulate without stimulation from the spineypenis
Vanyel:   ah
devil:    no pain, no babies
Vanyel:   god, mother nature is quite a bitchj
Vanyel:   -j
janet:    you've never done anything fun that hurt, leo?
Vanyel:   nothing that ever made me screech like a cat getting fucked, no
twinkie:  well damn
twinkie:  must try harder
marcie:   C|N>K

				-- twinkie making threats
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 February 2004

%%

Moni:     I had a dream last night that I got a brazilian bikini wax. Highly
          painful. I woke up to find Shithead cat kneeding my crotch with her
          claws.                                                             
Vanyel:   ahahaha
Moni:     just thought I'd share
IGadget:  thanks for making me feel normal moni

				-- Moni has a dream
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 February 2004

%%

sunbeam:  i need a new calendar
Slayer:   no, see, you just peel off january and voila!  there's february.
Vanyel:   ahahaha
sunbeam:  you're an ass

				-- Slayer, helpful
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 February 2004

%%

janet:    a loaf of bread, a jug of wine, a kilo of brazilian cocaine, and
          thou

				-- janet's ideal date
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 January 2004

%%

marcie:   cute admin chica is asking me about my truck
marcie:   she is trying to decide what to buy
wob:      tell her the truck is for dykes only, and that you'll have to make
          out with her for more info

				-- wob with car-buying advice
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 January 2004

%%

cuinhell: FRAB NARPLE NIPPLECLIPS
*** twinkie has entered room 'Main'
twinkie:  hidy ho!
Vanyel:   twinkielicious
cuinhell: hrm, not who i intended to summon with that, but ok

				-- cuinhell summoning Satan
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 January 2004

%%

Slayer:   one hop your ass to the market and get me some grapes
Al:       green or purple?
Slayer:   purple
Al:       with or without seeds?
Slayer:   without, and unpeeled, and served by your hopefully more attractive
          cousin
Slayer:   this is "emperor" day
Al:       hmm
Al kicks slay in the nads several times until they bruise and fall off.
Al:       there ya go, purple and seedless
Slayer:   good job
Al:       next!

				-- Al obeying Slayer's every whim
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 January 2004

%%

wob:      goddamn i so love miles davis
wob:      i want to have his dead baby

				-- wob with his true love
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 January 2004

%%

taco:     the US has double the many for the Radio Free broadcasting
taco:     doubled
wob:      doubled the many huh
wob:      is that spanglish
taco:     mmmmm... maybe I shouldn't have driven home

				-- taco a wee bit tipsy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 January 2004

%%

Zorro:    i wanna meet bill gates o i can peel out on his nutsack

				-- Zorro and his Wheelchair of Doom
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 January 2004

%%

Cerberus: well, worse comes toworse...
Cerberus: you can always go back to sucking dick behind the burger king for
          money.
wob:      damn right
Cerberus: or work in a NOC.. either one.
wob:      hehehe
wob:      i think i'll go for sucking dick
wob:      its less painful on the ass

				-- wob's career options
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 January 2004

%%

devil:    i've never put my arm up a sheep's ass
wob:      well w hat have you shoved up a sheeps ass
devil:    i've stuck electric probes up their asses to ejaculate them
Slayer:   where do i sign up
devil:    i thought you might volunteer

				-- Slayer being a guinea pig, so to speak
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 January 2004

%%

devil:    sheep are little pieces of shit until you get them on their backs

				-- devil being kinky
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 January 2004

%%

Vanyel:   PENISBAGEL
devil:    never seen one of those
Al:       wanna go to brueggers?
devil:    they have penisbagels?
Al:       we can ask
Al:       and if they don't
Al just lets your imagination finish the thought
devil:    hrm

				-- devil considering an offer
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 January 2004

%%

wob:      mmm steamed asparagus
meg:      the steamer will make nummy veggies for everyone
marcie:   mmmm
marcie:   goot
devil:    steamed testicles are pretty popular too
meg:      uh, no
devil:    i had to eat them in malaysia once
devil:    honored guest and all
Al:       *blink*
Al:       what species?
devil:    porcine
Al:       how were they?
devil:    it's a good thing i had a lot of homemade rice wine to go with them
Al:       hahahahah

				-- devil's adventures in traveling
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 January 2004

%%

ed:       *die die die die*
ed puts an end to some stupidity
*** Sarge has been disconnected
marcie:   heh

				-- ed's mighty wrath
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 January 2004

%%

Vanyel:   its already started
Vanyel:   its 9am in israel, and the emails have already started
cuinhell: ewww
marcie:   ABALABALABLABALA DING DONG INNERWEB BROKEN!
cuinhell: hahhaha
marcie waves her towel
Vanyel:   ahahahahah
marcie:   :)
Vanyel:   nah with them it would more be
Vanyel:   *hoooooock spit hock hock click twep twep ken innerweb broken*
Vanyel:   thats what it'd sound like in hebrew
marcie:   hahahha

				-- Vanyel interpreting
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 January 2004

%%

Courtney: I am hungry for electricity knowledge
cuinhell: vibe on the fritz?

				-- Courtney needing education
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 January 2004

%%

devil:    i think i've spoken to every crackhead in this hemisphere this
          morning

				-- devil loving her job
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 January 2004

%%

tuffkag:  you know its been a long day when you look at the screen and say to
          yourself "who's that fuckball tuffkag?"
tuffkag:  then only to realize its you
*** tuffkag is now known as Xi

				-- Xi having a very many much extended long day
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 January 2004

%%

Vanyel:   HAMBURGER
janet:    frankenfurter
Moni:     mad cow
Vanyel:   GRR MOO
janet:    I wonder if Erisians get Mad Chao disease.
Vanyel:   ow.
Moni:     oh..
Moni:     ouch
janet:    ewige blumengraft and all that
Vanyel:   Then again
Vanyel:   if you piss off a matronly german woman...
Vanyel:   ..
Vanyel:   you might get Mad Frou...
Moni:     heh
cuinhell: Mab Brow - out of control unabrow
janet:    and there's the variant that crossed over to plants
janet:    mad bough
Vanyel:   There's the ancient chinese disease of respectful prions that'll
          cause...
Vanyel:   mad kowtow
janet:    oh dear
meg:      mad mao
Vanyel:   or, what igadget gets when he's in his van, with his curb feeler
Vanyel:   mad plough 
janet:    don't make me come over there
Courtney: or the japanese greeting disease.. mad bow
cuinhell: what every brother wants to avoid...mad hizzow

				-- it's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad BBS
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 January 2004

%%

janet:    wasabi chewing gum.  its time has come.

				-- janet inventing great things
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 January 2004

%%

janet:    damn the naysayers
janet:    I have a togo's hot pastrami here and I'm not afraid to use it

				-- janet ranting on
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 January 2004

%%

Courtney: http://web.tickle.com/emode/tests/marriage.jsp
Courtney: CONGRATULATIONS, and make sure to put Emode on the guest list! Start
          making your plans now. We have calculated your responses according
          to our scientific formula and harmonized the results t
Courtney: YOU WILL BE MARRIED BY: Saturday, August 5, 2006
Courtney: hahahaha
Courtney: stupid test
Vanyel:   do they have one to predict your divorce, too?

				-- Vanyel protecting the sanctity of marriage
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 January 2004

%%

sunbeam:  isaac is raging against the nap machine

				-- sunbeam reporting on her baby
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 January 2004

%%


Vanyel:   telnet is the devil's protocol
janet:    and if telnet is the devil's, then whose is ftp?  Cthulhu's?
Vanyel:   ftp is cleartext passage to the devil's anus.

				-- protocol discussions
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 January 2004

%%

jairus:   anyone know what's up with Auggie?
Vanyel:   i just hafta remember to plug it back in
Vanyel:   i unplugged it so I could vaccum in there
Vanyel:   ill plug it back in once i get home
jairus:   hehe
jairus:   seriously?
Vanyel:   yeah
jairus:   that's like, a week ago - congrats on having a worse memory than me
          (and that's an achievement)
janet:    ahahah
janet:    ok, that's classic

				-- Vanyel showing concern for Auggie's fate
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 January 2004

%%

Beastie:  the colts are still gonna win
lisa:     bite your tongue
Beastie:  screw the chiefs
lisa:     um
lisa:     you're not nice

				-- lisa's scathing repartee
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 January 2004

%%

sunbeam:  i'm a big crybaby right now though because of my pyramid
Vanyel:   your pyramid?
sunbeam:  you know
Vanyel:   apparently i don't
meg:      her bloody gash
sunbeam:  oh for fucks sake meg

				-- sunbeam trying to be subtle, and failing
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 January 2004

%%

Moni:     erg..walking down hallway with patient and one of my labia rings
          suddenly decided to twist in the wrong way                      
Moni:     ever tried to just look normal and walk normal when your genetalia
          suddenly gets tied in knots?

				-- Moni in pain
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 January 2004

%%

janet:    atlatl lawndarts
janet:    now that would be fun

				-- janet with a new Olympic sport
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 January 2004

%%

Vanyel:   i'm sure i'm violating the laws of physics in my apartment

				-- Vanyel on his electrical outlets
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 January 2004

%%

devil:    i most assuredly have pathetically low self-seteesm, depression,
          agoraphobia, eating disorder, pathtetic motivaion, and a desire to
          be so busy that i can't think
Moni:     mmm..you sound like a money maker for me
Moni:     let's schedule an appointment

				-- Monika getting some on the side
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 January 2004

%%

saundo:   ipods are jobs' way of getting his penis into many people's hands

				-- saundo on Steve Jobs
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 January 2004

%%

Vanyel:   ed's gnome ass grows a fur coat when its cold out
saundo:   ahahaha
saundo:   we shall call him dildo baggins
ed:       fuck that
Vanyel:   ROFL

				-- ed the gnome
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 January 2004

%%

dweez:    you know when you go to wipe your ass, and a VW falls out?  I hate
          it when that happens...                                           
	
				-- dweez having ass problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 January 2004

%%

Moni:     patient in my office "I'm hearing voices that are telling me to kill
          you."
Vanyel:   lovely.
marcie:   lovely
marcie:   start carrying a gun :P
Moni:     hmmm....can we say 5150 time?
Xi:       mandatory thorzine for all patients entering the office
Vanyel:   "go ahead and try, I could use the insruance settlement when they
          fire me."
Moni:     I called our 98 year old security guard with one leg
marcie:   ahahahaha
Vanyel:   rofl
Moni:     heh Leo
wob:      hahaha
marcie:   don't you feel safer now!
Xi:       as long as the fake leg comes off he doesn't have to carry a club
Moni:     I feel sooooo much better now

				-- Moni being reassured
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 January 2004

%%

dweez:    i'd like to fuck chirs farley

				-- dweez with a new year's wish
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 January 2004

%%

Vanyel:   hangover finally gone
ed:       noting will ever erase the debauchery, though, leo
Vanyel:   damnitg

				-- ed being leo's conscience
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 January 2004

%%

cuinhell: the thought if DK dancing is as funny as the second coming

				-- cuinhell's sense of humor
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 January 2004

%%

Xi:       its nearly as exciting as cutting off your own leg with a rubber
          spatula

				-- Xi on trouble ticket training
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 December 2003

%%

devil:    i love being sick
devil:    it gives me a reason to be a bitch

				-- devil, sweet & innocent
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 December 2003

%%

linzee:   how was everyones x-mas and such
cuinhell: what?
cuinhell: i fucking missed xmas?
cuinhell: SHIT!
linzee:   again?
cuinhell: curse these online games!

				-- cuinhell coming up for air
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 December 2003

%%

sunbeam:  i had a hot dog for lunch
sunbeam:  it gave me heartburn 
sunbeam:  it hurts
saundo:   you may have to amputate

				-- saundo with medical advice
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 December 2003

%%

sunbeam:  i need somebody
sunbeam:  i'm desperate
sunbeam:  i'd take a high school kid right now even

				-- sunbeam needing... a babysitter
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 December 2003

%%

wob:      ahhh there's nothing like a good xmas poo

				-- wob making a gift
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 December 2003

%%

devil:    oh, pissed duck
janet:    sounds like an item not to order at a chinese restaurant

				-- janet with a warning
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 December 2003

%%

Moni:     this has just been a banner day for me
saundo:   awww, poor moni
Moni:     I just changed my voice mail message to my Hi..I'm out of the office
          now
saundo:   can we help?
Moni:     and just as I finshed, I dropped my tea and said "Aww Fuck"
Moni:     then hung up
marcie:   ahahahahahahhaa
saundo:   ahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
marcie:   YES!
saundo:   you rule!
Moni:     I'm so tempted to leave it

				-- Moni getting into the holiday spirit
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 December 2003

%%

marcie:   oh btw
marcie gives janet a tacnuke
marcie:   merry xmas!
marcie:   Cyrano:   I want a tacnuke for next xmas
janet:    wooooo!
janet:    I will treasure it always
janet:    at least, until the next staff meeting

				-- janet making plans for work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 December 2003

%%

saundo:   "well it's a one for the chutpah, two for the schmoe, three for the
          menorah, now go wedding go!":
saundo ahemas
marcie:   ahahahaha
saundo:   excuse me

				-- saundo cheering on Moni's wedding
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 December 2003

%%

IGadget:  I had a bad thing happen today, I was hanging upside down under my
          dash when I farted
twinkie:  ew                
IGadget:  yeah I saved myself by turning on the heat blower

				-- IGadget's adventures in his van
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 December 2003

%%

janet:    sysadminning doesn't have enough activities involving sharp blades
          for my tastes

				-- janet needing a career change
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 December 2003

%%

ed jackhammers wob
wob:      now that's the fucking christmans spirit

				-- merry xmas!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 December 2003

%%

Xi:       african cave dwelling spiders
Xi:       this is the only reason to watch fear factor

				-- Xi glued to the TV
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 December 2003

%%

ed:       when you can lite your urine with a zippo, you need to slow down

				-- ed on drinking
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 December 2003

%%

ed:       tonight I shall have the new machine up with iSight
ed:       marcie  you may netsex me with your iSight.
marcie:   ed, i shall.
ed:       wear your sequined dyke-garb, would you?
Xi:       ed's rebroadcasting that out to the rest of us so you'll also need a
          tube of Crest, 14 eggs, a 12-pack of Walmart bags, and one
          Santa-type hat
marcie:   naturally
ed:       and 2 goats
marcie:   and a lesbian in a pear treeee
ed:       I got some elbonians paying big money for the goats
marcie takes notes
marcie:   that'll be $39.95 for the first 3 minutes and $12.95 per minute
          after
marcie:   we accept visa, mastercard or amex
Xi:       and you get extra credit for a snake charmer dildo
marcie:   moni will take your money at the door... just slide the card through
          her slot
Xi:       does the 39.95 include the goats?
marcie:   of course!
ed:       but it doesn't included the frozen chimpanzee's
marcie:   well, those are more expensive cause of shipping and stuff
marcie:   *you* try gettinga  dozen frozen chimps this close to christmas
Xi:       especially freshly frozen
Xi:       nobody wants year old frozen chimps

				-- marcie starting a new business
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 December 2003

%%

sunbeam:  i want a nap for christmas

				-- sunny's dearest wish
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 December 2003

%%

janet:    sunny
sunbeam:  hi jan
janet:    I discovered the cure for depression
sunbeam:  what's that?
janet:    I think it revolves around lipstick and shopping

				-- janet discovering the secret
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 December 2003

%%

devil:    i can honestly say that i would rather be beaten than ever go
          christmas shopping again                                     

				-- devil getting into the festivities
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 December 2003

%%

Vanyel:   okay
Vanyel:   I get a bitchy email from salesfuck about how he cant open a .zip in
          an attachemnt...
Vanyel:   ...from a spammer.

				-- Vanyel, who doesn't allow zip files
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 December 2003

%%
	
IGadget:  you must dance arround the computer widdershins 3 times backwards to
          resolve computer problems
marcie:   yes
marcie:   and sacrifice a virgin chicken at midnight on the full moon
IGadget:  how do you find a virgin chicken? they have all been laid.

				-- IGadget making his yearly funny
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 December 2003

%%

china:    If my penis gets any larger with the products from these spam emails
          I keep receiving, I'll enter the Guinness Book of World Records.

				-- china's personal problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 December 2003
%%

janet:    I...
janet:    I never wanted to do this for a living...
janet:    I always wanted to be...
Vanyel:   a chartered accountant?
janet:    ew

				-- Vanyel ruining janet's groove
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 December 2003

%%

ed:       ALL HAIL THE MANGLED VISAGE OF MICHAEL JACKSON

				-- ed's new personal hero
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 December 2003

%%

devil:    people don't work in vet medicine for money
devil:    they do it for love of animals
devil:    and masochism

				-- devil on her chosen profession
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 December 2003

%%

IGadget:  ebay is a den of inequity and should perrish in the fires of
          hell....but only because I wish I had thought the idea up.

				-- IGadget damning his luck
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 December 2003

%%

ed:       hrm.
ed:       Am5x86 CPU P75 AT 133MHZ
ed:       thats a screamer
Xi:       if you're referrign to the sound it makes when you drop it from the
          100th story then yeah, a screamer

				-- Xi the PC guy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 December 2003

%%

Vanyel:   shitters faux pas #983245670392453-a
wob:      did it all come out alright
Vanyel:   you put the paper protector down on the seat
Vanyel:   cuz you know everyone in this office building is dirty fucks
Vanyel:   you do your shitting
Vanyel:   you stand up, and the paper protector sticks to your ass
marcie:   C|N>K
Vanyel:   along with that bit of it that sticks into the bowl
wob:      perhaps you shouldnt smear shit all over it beforehand
marcie:   ewwwww
Vanyel:   yeah.
Vanyel:   luckelly I was supervising the extraction
wob:      hehe
meg:      can we have more details please
meg:      that wasn't quite gross enough
sunbeam:  this is the perfect example of an unchallenged intellect

				-- sunbeam accusing Vanyel of being bored
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 December 2003

%%

xi:       testicular vaporization, next on Geraldo.

				-- Xi with an idea for a new show
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 December 2003

%%

zag:      i dreamt the other night that i didn't have a head
zag:      it was actually quite refreshing

				-- zag having weird dreams
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 December 2003

%%

ed:       I feel the rage.
wob:      feel the hate flow through you
ed:       oh, wait, the rage I felt was this huge grogan
ed:       I swear its pressing on one of my lungs

				-- the status of ed's bowels
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 December 2003

%%

Moni:     heh..therapist in the hallway talking with an adolescent patient.
          "Hi, what's up?"  Patient "No"  Therapist...silence
Moni:     working here is just hilarious somtimes

				-- Moni loving her job
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 December 2003

%%

janet:    you are in a maze of small twisty badly written PDFs, all different.

				-- janet dealing with NFS and OS X
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 December 2003

%%

Moni:     lately, my words of wisdom have tended to be "DIE YOU FUCKHEADS JUST
          DIE DAMMIT"
Moni:     i'm trying to be a smidge more positive

				-- Moni having a bad week
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 December 2003

%%

janet:    how much phlegm would errol flynn fling if errol flynn could fling
          phlegm?
janet:    ok, I'll lay off the cough syrup

				-- janet and the flu, round 3
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 December 2003

%%

janet:    woke up to the room spinning and I thought, "damn, why am I hung
          over 7 hours after taking cough syrup"
janet:    and realized that someone had filled my sinuses with lime jello

				-- janet's further adventures with the flu
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 December 2003

%%

Kestrel:  I am on a roll and I lag
Kestrel:  SATAN lags me

				-- Kestrel casting out the deeeeemons
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 December 2003

%%

Kestrel:  I would not spank the ass of enlightenment

				-- Kestrel learning wisdom
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 December 2003

%%

wob:      DRUGS ARE NOT ONLY FOR ANIMALS TO ENJOY
wob:      GODDAMNIT

				-- wob with a lesson
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 December 2003

%%

Vanyel:   this one time
Vanyel:   and band camp
Vanyel:   I killed my whole troop
marcie:   i stuck a flute in leo's pussy
china:    wait

				-- china, confused
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 December 2003

%%

china:    ya know, this bloody democracy is a pain in my ass
china:    I went all over this town looking for a crown, and I could not find
          a single one

				-- china looking for her due as a Queen
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 December 2003

%%

sunbeam:  i wish i knew what to tell this unemployment person so that they'd
          give it to me even though i quit my last job
meg:      hope it's a dude, wear a short skirt and tight top and take isaac in
          to nurse during the interview
meg:      ewwww
meg:      it might work
meg:      bat your lasshes all girlylike
meg:      say you quit the last job because they were discriminating against
          you for being beautiful
janet:    crack some gum
meg:      and you need state money so you can keep outfitting yourself in
          tight tops because isaac barfs up on all your good ones
sunbeam:  it's a phone interview
janet:    damn
meg:      well then my plan is shot

				-- meg's best-laid plans
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 December 2003

%%

janet:    I just hacked up *another* lung
janet:    I think this makes 4 so far, which is obviously puzzling

				-- janet fighting off the flu
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 December 2003

%%

Moni:     of course, I'm sacrificing myself by having beer tonight since there
          was only room in the fridge for 5 bottles
Al:       way to take one for the team
Moni:     least I could do

				-- Moni valiantly shopping for groceries
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 November 2003

%%

Lia:      FUCK!
Lia:      low of 35 tomorrow
Al:       FUCK!
Al:       I need to buy some diskettes
Lia:      FUCK!
Lia:      I hate p-chem
Al:       FUCK! I'm working tmrw, Sunday, AND Friday.
Vanyel:   FUCK                 
Vanyel:   my sweater has a hole in it.

				-- the crew complaining
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 November 2003

%%

cuinhell: my bowels are great
cuinhell: the rest of me is irritated

				-- cuinhell on the state of his health
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 November 2003

%%

janet:    it's not wise to taunt a girl who once aspired to going into
          explosive demolitions.

				-- janet with sage advice
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 November 2003

%%

janet:    10^17 neutrons per second, that's all I need
janet:    and I could have enough plutonium by xmas 2004
marcie:   i do *not* want to know what you're planning.
janet:    the gift that keeps on giving
marcie:   nuclear holocaust? :P
janet:    oh psh
janet:    just a little teeny one

				-- janet planning a party
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 November 2003

%%

Vanyel:   if I ever have a wedding, I want a human sacrifice at mine.

				-- Vanyel planning his wedding
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 November 2003

%%

wob:      ALMOST
wob:      TIME
wob:      TO
wob:      GO
wob:      HOME
Slayer:   you'll never leave.  time will come and then reverse itself.  you
          will be caught in a loop forever, repeating the same mindless tasks
          you were forced to perform last night.
Slayer:   i mean hi

				-- Slayer channeling Satan
                                Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 November 2003

%%

janet:    some bastard just walking by in the hallway
janet:    whistling fucking EDELWEISS.
marcie:   ahahaha
marcie:   how cheery!
janet slams her head against her desk to try to knock it out
marcie:   how chipper!
marcie:   how incredibly stuck-in-your-head-until-the-end-of-time anoying!
janet:    careful or I'll summon the spirit of Dexy.
janet:    actually, I've had The Replacements stuck in my head recently
marcie:   ooh
marcie:   you bitch 
Courtney: just how far down do you wanna go
Courtney: oh we could talk it out over a cup of joe
marcie:   i'm keeping "it's a small world" in reserve, don't forget.
Courtney: and you would look deep into my eyes like I was a supermodel
Courtney: uhuh
janet:    when cameron was in egypt's land...
Courtney: hahahaha
marcie:   hahahah
Courtney: don't let my cameron gooooooooooo
janet grins
Courtney: bueller?
Courtney: bueller?
janet:    I warn you
janet:    I'm holding back Yellow Submarine for mutually assured destruction
marcie:   don't worry, i've got "I Will Always Loooooooove Youuuuuuuu"
marcie cackles quietly
janet:    like the talking heads much?
marcie peers suspiciously at janet
marcie:   i don't trust you.
marcie:   you dexy fan, you.

				-- janet and marcie having a slapfight
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 November 2003

%%

china:    I'm really becoming an intolerant, defensive, irritable person.
china:    And I don't like it
janet:    awesome
janet:    come work on our helpdesk
marcie:   hahaHAHAHAHAHAHA

				-- janet staunchly defending her colleagues
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 November 2003

%%

marcie shimmies at kes
Kestrel:  interesting 
marcie:   hey :P

				-- Kestrel not paying sufficient attention
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 November 2003

%%

Vanyel:   i'm not stupid
Vanyel:   i'm big boned

				-- Vanyel chanting affirmations
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 November 2003

%%

Vanyel:   only agree to an alcohol test if you havnt been drinking
Vanyel:   and only agree if the officer involved isnt trying to pass off his
          penis as a breathalyzer

				-- Vanyel with legal advice
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 November 2003

%%

wob:      GIVE ME COQ OF FREEDOM!@#

				-- wob has a dream!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 November 2003

%%

ed:       wonder what the breaking point is for an ass
ed:       I mean..
Vanyel:   ask K
ed:       you'd think this would be an oft discussed problem
ed:       the breaking of the anus
ed:       the spewing forth of the shit, whenever it wishes.
china:    I dunno, but I know I've passed a couple of big 'uns in my time
ed:       yea
Vanyel:   rofl
Vanyel:   chrsit
Vanyel:   i'm laughing too hard
ed:       but imagine how unbig they'd be without proper control?
ed:       I mean
ed:       a turd is like a staactite
ed:       only it grows in a confined space
ed:       like a baby lion cub
ed:       to grow and wreak havoak upon the plumbing systems of this earth
ed:       now
ed:       life with out a satisfying morning dump..would be horific
ed:       I cannot even imagine.
china:    Actually, it's the large intestine that keeps it tucked away, so
          technically, even if your ass is all loose, you could still pass a
          big 'un
ed:       choosing to destroy my asses ability to provide flora and fauna for
          the sewer systems of the world..unthinkable.
ed:       soemtimes, though, they get extra big when you can't release 'em
          right off
ed:       eg: aborted shit window
ed:       it rides on the edge of your shorts, and your colon, growing in
          strength, like a tsunami picking up steam out in the pacific.
china:    Just think, ed. You could pass great sculptures of the Western World
cuinhell: and feels like it's tearing your ass 5 sizes larger
ed:       what, how eos that work, like reading my future from a calfs liver?
ed:       passing as hit with the entire lost scrolls, in tact?
china:    hmmm. Suddenly, this salisbury steak doesn't look so appetizing
          anymore...
cuinhell: hahahaha
marcie:   rofl
ed:       the sauce is what kills it.

				-- ed pontificating on his favorite subject
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 November 2003

%%

ed:       HADDMIT
ed:       I COULD REPLACE YOU WITH A SEMI COMPLICATED PERL SCRIPT BACKENDED BY
          SOME C EXE'S WRITTEN BY 60 SEX STARVED COCAINE FILLED MONKEYS
cuinhell: dammit, ed...when i'm a walmart greeter you'll not even get a cart!
cuinhell: NOP BASKET EITHER!
cuinhell: -P
Jake:     hahahah
Vanyel:   ahahahah

				-- ed and cuinhell having a slapfight
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 November 2003

%%

Vanyel:   i really do need to relax
Vanyel:   that bitch with 2gb of mail came in to complain her mail was slow
Vanyel:   and i went off onher
marcie:   bahahahaha
marcie:   awesome
marcie:   she deserved it
meg:      did you tell her she could lick your salty matzo balls
marcie:   PUT EM IN YOUR MOUTH
Vanyel:   I told her that a computer with 128mb of ram will slow down when it
          has to deal with a 2gb mailbox.
marcie:   i bet she's too much of an imbecile to comprehend that
Vanyel:   god
Vanyel:   the advection of stupidity into this office is becoming unberable
Moni:     tea bag her
Moni:     my balls are the 2gb of mail and your mouth is the 128 mg of ram
Moni:     SEE.it doesn't fit real well
Vanyel:   ahahahaha
Vanyel:   AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

				-- Moni letting a little rage & hate flow
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 November 2003

%%

cuinhell: man, i gotta study my ass off before wednesday ;)
Vanyel:   what aer yu studying
Vanyel:   spelling I hope

				-- Vanyel quizzing (har) cuinhell
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 November 2003

%%

Vanyel:   being bitter keeps me from killing stray cats

				-- Vanyel doing personal therapy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 November 2003

%%

janet fries up some green tomatoes
marcie:   mmm
marcie:   fried green tomatoes good
janet:    I put lots of paprika on them
xi:       fried in the blood of the infidels

				-- Xi having issues
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 November 2003

%%

janet:    I'm developing a bit of fondness for cooking.  it's like o-chem but
          without as many explosions

				-- janet discovering new hobbies
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 November 2003

%%

xi:       saranwrap, for those really hard to contain murder.

				-- Xi with a product endorsement
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 November 2003

%%

devil:    who wants to see me in scuba gear?
Slayer:   that would roughly be me
devil:    don't be rough now
Slayer:   but i thought...
Vanyel:   goddamnit if I throw up i'm gonna be pissed
devil:    men always do think that

				-- devil the seductress
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 November 2003

%%

ed:       I can't believe nobody makes an 802.11 thermostat

				-- ed trying for the ultimate in nerdiness
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 November 2003

%%

Zorro:    bluegrass scares satan

				-- Z on music
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 November 2003

%%

firl:     im allergic to vowels.

				-- firl's personal problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 November 2003

%%

Moni:     mmm..death, dismemberment, destruction
Moni:     yes
Moni:     it's a perfect Monday

				-- Moni having a good day
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 November 2003

%%

janet:    hey leo
janet:    did you say you've got 10.3?
Vanyel:   yeah I do
janet:    have it anywhere near a fast connection, or are we talking 128k?
janet:    still have not gotten our media here
janet:    and I'm jonesing to get this G4 set up
Vanyel:   heh
Vanyel:   luckelly, I have the disk images here
Vanyel:   actaully
Vanyel:   is ed here?
Vanyel:   he might be able to get 'em somewhere good w/ bandwidth
janet:    nye znayu
Vanyel:   otherwise, I can get 'em up somewhere
janet:    I can suck gently
janet:    wait a minute, that didn't come out right
Vanyel:   ahahaha
Xi:       hehehehe
marcie:   ahahahahahahahaha
janet:    you all have very dirty minds.
janet hmphs.

				-- janet, shocked
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 October 2003

%%

janet hums her mantra
janet:    *i am an island of serenity in a sea of lusers*

				-- janet meditating
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 October 2003

%%


meg:      fuck you fuckers
chinatch: This is the only place in the world where "fuck you fuckers" is a
          complimentary greeting.
meg:      hehe
marcie:   ain't it great?
Al:       damn skippy
chinatch: yessirree

				-- china sharing the love
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 October 2003

%%

Vanyel:   has LA burned down yet?
marcie:   no.
Vanyel:   dammit

				-- Vanyel checking on the state of things
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 October 2003

%%


Vanyel:   goddamnit i'd eat a ground beef cat (with fur) for a good massage
          right now

				-- Vanyel, tense
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 October 2003

%%

Vanyel attacks janet with a chinese fighting muffin
janet fends it off with a pair of chopsticks and a bundt pan

				-- food fight!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 October 2003

%%

IGadget ponders hari kari
Al:       the paperwork's a bitch, dood

				-- Al with advice
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 October 2003

%%

sunbeam:  jeez my mom is chatty today
sunbeam:  she must've had coffee and antidepressants for breakfast

				-- sunbeams bonding with her mother
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 October 2003

%%

janet:    a tiny little 10 kiloton suitcase nuke, that's all I ask

				-- janet not asking for much, really
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 October 2003

%%

Vanyel:   the only empathy I have is for my other personalities.

				-- Vanyel on the higher emotions
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 October 2003

%%

janet overclocks a lemon

				-- janet getting overenthusiastic
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 October 2003

%%

janet:    need to strengthen my hands, couldn't open an olive jar
Slayer:   yo're a woman now.  get used to not being able to do things men can
          do.
janet:    so, I should just throw it at your head to open it then?
marcie:   bahahahahahahahahahaahah

				-- janet getting liberated
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 October 2003

%%

ed:       moving
ed:       tasty
ed:       drinking your own beer on your own porch
ed:       nothing like it
ed:       especially while you watch termites eat off the railing and your
          water heater belch and spew 50 gallons of rusty hot water all over
          your nice white carpet.

				-- ed having problems with his new house
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 October 2003

%%

megafk:   either it's mass allergy season or it's thrax

				-- meg, sneezy and doomed
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 October 2003

%%

sunbeam:  he's just a perfect little man
janet:    he stays quiet and does what he's told?
Marianne: heh
sunbeam:  he's not really quiet
sunbeam:  he babbles all day in some strange baby dialect
Slayer:   this is your boyfriend?
sunbeam:  shaddup

				-- sunbeam on her perfect baby
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 October 2003

%%

ed:       OH MY GOD
ed:       the rhesus reaper has come for me!
ed:       he's wielding a nasty looking seal club
ed:       and he's got a holder mounted tube of KY
Jake:     hahaha
janet:    ed
janet:    either up the dosage or lower it
ed:       HE'S HITTING ME WITH THE SEAL CLUB
ed aggh aggggh aaaaghhh *grunt* unng Unggga unng *aagh* *grunt*
ed:       gah
ed:       I just got him in the kneecaps with a DN3000
ed:       he's wounded
ed:       he's crawling towards me with the KY
ed:       I just dropped the 3phased chandolier on him
ed:       he smells like biscuits and gravy
ed:       mmmm
marcie:   i'd love to live in your world, ed

				-- ed twitching
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 October 2003

%%

firl:     also i have new healthcare and the only doctor accepting new
          patients was born according to this website in fucking 1911
firl:     I don't think I wanna go see him

				-- firl having headaches
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 October 2003

%%

Slayer:   where's all these hottie pictures i missed
Vanyel:   www.ratemypoo.com

				-- Vanyel helping Slayer out
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 October 2003

%%

cuinhell: i reboot, therefore I am.
*** cuinhell has been disconnected
		
				-- cuinhell the philosopher
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 October 2003

%%

janet:    and anyone who sexually harasses me will wind up losing
          his balls before I do.

				-- janet puts her delicate, feminine foot down
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 October 2003

%%

Moni:     For your entertainment, I am now going to remove my own uterus

				-- Moni having cramps
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 October 2003

%%

Vanyel:   I just realised something
Vanyel:   my voicemail password, along with the command to play new messages
          sounds like that famous bit from the 1812 oveture
wob:      van
wob:      you need to go home 
wob:      ;)

				-- wob advising Vanyel to take a break already
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 October 2003

%%

sunbeam:  this day is sucky i think i need new shoes

				-- sunbeam performing retail therapy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 October 2003

%%

janet:    be postmodern
janet:    frame a piece of shag carpet.

				-- janet with decorating tips
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 October 2003

%%

janet:    ironically
janet:    gary coleman has more political experience
janet:    and did not star in a movie where he was impregnated by danny devito

				-- Janet on Ahhnold Schwarzenegger
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 October 2003

%%

china:    I got conned into taking the minutes at the dean's meeting today
china:    I don't know how
china:    I've been hanging out with the dean too much
china:    But, I did get to show off my Mad Copier Skillz today by fixing the
          copier with a letter opener and a pair of tweezers
Vanyel:   you needed tweezers?

				-- Vanyel demanding perfection
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 October 2003

%%

janet:    a teflon coated miniskirt is not appropriate apparel for handling
          strong acids.

				-- janet with more lab safety tips
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 October 2003
 
%%

Lia:      If you have a fire in lab, don't try to be a hero, stand back and
          admire your work

				-- Lia with chem lab safety tips
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 October 2003

%%

Kestrel:  HOLY MOLEY!
Kestrel:  I MUST GO LUBRICATE MY MEAT!
janet:    rofl
Kestrel:  later kids

				-- Kestrel with an urgent task
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 October 2003

%%

Lia:      new test question, tell me what you think
Lia:      What is a catalyst?
Lia:      A) A substance added to a reaction mix that helps the reaction, and
          is incorporated into the products
Lia:      B) A substance added to a reaction mix that hinders the reaction,
          but is not incorporated into the product
Lia:      C) A substance added to a reaction mix that helps the reaction, but
          is not incorporated into the product
Lia:      D) Holstein, Guernsey, Angus
janet:    E) a feline missing two legs on one side.
Lia:      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

				-- lia and janet competing for Bad Pun Queen
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 October 2003

%%

Vanyel:   thank god girls don't give http status codes in bed.

				-- Vanyel not wanting *that* many updates
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 October 2003

%%

Vanyel:   http://www.jewfaq.org/sex.htm
janet:    more fun that retention catheter.
Vanyel:   "Kosher sex"
marcie:   Soney:    is semen kosher?
janet:    only if gathered during ritual slaughter.

				-- janet with the answer to Soney's question
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 October 2003

%%

sunbeam:  ugh i have caught a cold
sunbeam:  and i'm going to the punkin patch today
sunbeam:  i need a stunt double today
sunbeam:  *sneeze*

				-- sunbeam with needs
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 October 2003

%%


Sarge:    marcie you still work at a uni right?
marcie:   actuallky no
Sarge:    oh
marcie:   got laid off from therein july
marcie:   working at national semiconductor now
Sarge:    ok, maybe I need to log-in a bit more often..
marcie:   heheh
cuinhell: wob and meg got married too
Sarge:    shit!
Sarge:    when the hell did that happen?
marcie:   heheh
marcie:   oh, and sarge?
marcie:   moni is gay
cuinhell: OMG!
marcie:   ahahahah
Slayer:   and sarge is a moron and the world turns
Vanyel:   narf
Sarge:    yeah yeah..

				-- Sarge catching up
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 October 2003

%%

Al:       the most productive thing I have done today...is urinate.

				-- Al being a productive citizen
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 October 2003

%%

firl:     i dub this woman annoyinngmicrofilmluzer

				-- firl on a "patron" at her library job
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 October 2003

%%

china:    I usually base my costume on whatever my hair is doing that year
          anyways

				-- china on Halloween
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 October 2003

%%

sunbeam:  perkiness has a price

				-- sunbeam on why bras are necessary
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 October 2003

%%

meg:      fuck your ball sweat, your balls dont weigh 4 lbs each

				-- meg with a point about summertime discomfort
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 October 2003

%%

ed:       you can lead a dumbshit to water, but you can't make him drown
	  himself

				-- the wisdom of ed
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 October 2003

%%

saundo:   how is it that the hulk's purple pants stay on?
Vanyel:   oh
Vanyel:   morality i guess

				-- saundo with a question on comics
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 October 2003

%%

ed:       fullll
ed:       bladdder
ed:       fullll
ed:       bladder
ed:       beaches and waterfalls
Vanyel:   imagine K is on fire
Vanyel:   if you piss, it'll put the fire out
ed:       yes
ed:       I was just gonna say

				-- Vanyel with creative visualization
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 October 2003

%%

janet:    Licensed technology acupuncturist

				-- janet with a new title for a business card
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 October 2003

%%

IG_drugs: bad pun time.. I just stepped in a bowl of ramen, is that chicken
          soup for the sole?
Slayer:   you're not allowed to type
IG_drugs: bwahahaha

				-- IGadget entertaining himself
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 October 2003

%%

cuinhell: A Louisiana jury found C-Murder guilty of second-degree murder on
          Tuesday
cuinhell: he should have picked a less conspicuous name.

				-- cuinhell with the news update
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 October 2003

%%

cuinhell: ah, here is a tshirt i need
cuinhell: "I'm the teenage girl you jerked off in the chatroom with"

				-- the horror! THE HORROR!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 September 2003

%%

wob:      lets do the ho chi mink two step.
wob:      with minks.
saundo:   yes
IGadget:  furry
saundo:   strap a mink to the crotch of your black pajamas
saundo:   and blow something up
saundo:   rinse, lather, repeat, wait for fall of Saigon
IGadget:  um no thanks
saundo:   that's the ho chi mink two step!
wob:      with rice
wob:      don't forget the rice.
saundo:   yes
saundo:   the C4 high explosive rice
wob:      everythings better with rice on the ho chi mink
wob:      yes
saundo:   with boobytrapped shrimp
wob:      mixed with some dead rat
Crazy:    can't have a Laos two-step without the rice paddies
wob:      mmm ratmeat
marcie:   i'll have some rice without so much dead rat in it

				-- the new EN dance
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 September 2003

%%
 
IGadget:  kids are like anyother pet execpt they can talk back later

				-- IGadget on offspring
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 September 2003

%%

Vanyel:   oh wob, did you get a dummy light come on?
wob:      yes i did
wob:      "check engine"
wob:      i read the POS manual and all it says is that its for oil pressure
wob:      well i checked that completely and there's no problems there
wob:      so i ignored it
wob:      it's been on maybe a week now
wob:      if that
Slayer:   try washing it
Vanyel:   ahahah

				-- Slay helping wob solve his car problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 September 2003

%%

Vanyel:   when did muddy waters die?
Vanyel:   Muddy Waters died in Chicago, April 30, 1984. 
meg:      i will use google before asking dumb questions
meg:      i will use google before asking dumb questions
meg:      i will use google before asking dumb questions
meg:      i will use google before asking dumb questions
Vanyel:   my first google search didnt find anything
Vanyel:   I rpobably spelled somethign wrong
Vanyel:   see?

				-- Vanyel demonstrating his vanyelitis
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 September 2003

%%

Vanyel:   goddamn motherfuck. 
Vanyel:   I am so fucking horny
Vanyel:   I must go shower.
Vanyel:   hows THAt for a hikau

				-- Vanyel reciting poetry
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 September 2003

%%

*** sunbeam has entered room 'Main'
sunbeam:  the snails in my computer are getting old

				-- sunbeam needing an upgrade
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 September 2003

%%

cuinhell: WEINER TINGLE

				-- cuinhell getting all excited
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 September 2003

%%

marcie:   woo hoo, thin client worky
marcie:   yay
marcie:   slow as three monkeys having sex in a barrel of molasses, but it
          works
Slayer:   don't give me ideas

				-- Slay trying to outdo himself
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 September 2003

%%

Courtney: american pie is not american
Courtney: err
Courtney: apple pie
Courtney: is not american
meg:      bye bye miss canadian pie
Courtney: its not even canadian
Courtney: but it sure is yummy
Courtney: hahahahahaha
meg:      drove my dogsled to the toolshed
meg:      but the toolshed was ... uh
firl:     why can't it be as american as chocolate cake?
janet:    as american as Jerusalem artichokes.
janet:    that works.
meg:      as american as jazz goddammit
firl:     as american as being a DICK
meg:      dick frightens me!
firl:     mmm dick
meg:      i said jazz, firlie
meg:      not jizz
firl:     doh
firl:     :)

				-- meg sings!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 September 2003

%%

cuinhell: i'm going to apply for Big Brother 5.
cuinhell: i want nothing more than to be reviled worldwide

				-- cuinhell following his dreams
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 September 2003

%%

K:        what the hell is flotsam
K:        can't say i'v eherad that word
Vanyel:   its like jetsam
Vanyel:   only it comes first.
Slayer:   jetsam is the stuff they throw overboard to lighten the load
Slayer:   flotsam is the stuff that's driving after a ship goes down
K:        hahahahaha

				-- Slayer typoing
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 September 2003

%%

megafk:   norf winds bwoah
megafk:   souf winds bwoah
megafk:   huwwicanes
megafk:   urfquakes
megafk:   KILL DA WABBIT
Lia:      hehehe
janet defudds meg
megafk:   that tickles
janet:    it's the hat
janet:    now I'm hearing freddy mercury singing "bweak fwee" in a fudd
          accent.
marcie:   don't MAKE me come over there.

				-- janet flirting with meg
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 September 2003

%%

Vanyel:   what are your lusers up to, janet
janet:    I have to find a technical solution to a human problem
janet:    namely, my users are psychopathic cuntheads

				-- janet with work problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 September 2003

%%

Vanyel gigaburps

				-- Vanyel developing new skills
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 September 2003

%%

Vanyel:   i'm walking on the thin line between hate and inpaling people with a
          plastic water bottle

				-- Vanyel twitching
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 September 2003

%%

janet:    I tell you
janet:    esr, djb and stallman.  in thunderdome.
janet:    I'd pay big
Vanyel:   YES

				-- Janet with a great idea for Pay-Per-View
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 September 2003

%%

china:    oy
china:    one of the two brain cells I woke up with this morning died at some
          point during the morning hours
china:    I'm hoping that the last one will split overnight

				-- China having mental problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 September 2003

%%

saundo:   precision guided mullets

				-- saundo's new weapon
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 September 2003

%%

saundo:   damn
saundo:   i missed "the mullets" on tnn

				-- saundo's favorite show
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 September 2003

%%

saundo:   it appears johnny cash has been resurrected in the form of buffalo
          wings
saundo:   as I am suffering from ye olde burning ring of fire

				-- boooo!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 September 2003

%%

cuinhell: HOOKERS AND BLOW
janet:    and shoes.
cuinhell: that's some thrift store you go to!

				-- janet finding all the good deals
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 September 2003

%%

Moni:     HELLO MR FUCK WHO HAS DECIDED TO REMOTELY CONTROL MY COMPUTER
          WITHOUT TELLING ME.

				-- Moni having it out with her network admin
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 September 2003

%%

janet:    I dreamt about intergalactic space travel.  and messed up network
          patch panels.
janet:    some guy was plugging a Dustbuster into a PoE jack

				-- janet with strange dreams
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 September 2003

%%

Al:       damn, just blew a disk
Vanyel:   i'm not going to ask.
Vanyel:   i'm just going to walk away
IGadget:  did it chaffe?
Al:       no, it rattled and spun down

				-- Al, that pervert
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 September 2003

%%

janet:    ok
janet:    important lesson of the day
janet:    mascara, *then* pot.

				-- janet learning the basics
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 September 2003

%%

Vanyel:   Yet another difference between Jewel and The Who: Jewel cancels tour
          due to death of bass player
wob:      that's because she has to now write an album about it

				-- wob loves Jewel
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 September 2003

%%

Vanyel:   i'd kill a cat and skin it with a spoon for some winter.

				-- Vanyel craving a change of season
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 September 2003

%%

Moni:     although..some lesbains I know have penis fantasites
Moni:     but..that's another story
wob:      thats because they all need some serious deep dicking!
Moni:     no..it's because they ahven't had sex wiht me yet

				-- Moni bragging on her prowess
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 September 2003

%%

sunbeam:  do girls have colons?

				-- sunbeam wondering why girls don't fart
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 September 2003

%%

IGadget:  damnit stop I cant breathe Im laughing too hard
cuinhell: QUICK!
cuinhell: now's our chance to finish him!
cuinhell: everybody BE FUNNY

				-- cuinhell with an evil plan
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 September 2003

%%

meg:      it's not called short attention span anymore
meg:      it's called porn attention span

				-- meg contributing to the world of medicine
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 September 2003

%%

cuinhell: goddamn, i can't remember what movie it is
cuinhell: but it was about a group of criminals
cuinhell: and one wouldn't work with another because he ate shit in prison
cuinhell: and to freak the dude out the shit eater said "it's spongy
cuinhell: so, now I can't eat twinkies anymore I think.

				-- cuinhell's sensitive side
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 September 2003

%%

*** china has entered room 'Main'
china:    werd
marcie leaps on china
china:    woop!
marcie wiggles
marcie:   hey baby :)
Vanyel:   oh wow
Vanyel:   this might rule

				-- Vanyel getting geared up for the show
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 September 2003

%%

Moni:     heh..cat just puked
Moni:     mom calling

				-- Moni's cat, allergic to mothers
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 September 2003

%%

Vanyel:   right on top of you, moni
Moni:     noi wonder it felt big
Vanyel:   it felt pretty large here

				-- Vanyel and Moni sharing a special moment
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 September 2003

%%

sunbeam:  there are no good planets in our solar system
sunbeam:  maybe a couple of good moons
Vanyel:   What, europa?
sunbeam:  but they're butt-ass cold
Vanyel:   well I just got a new jacket

				-- sunners planning her next vacation
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 September 2003

%%

Slayer:   the very existance of tofu is evidence of the world's impending end

				-- Slayer, Iron Chef Protein
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 September 2003

%%

Vanyel:   bacon is one of like 4 foods that youc an safely microwave
Vanyel:   the other 3 are microwave popcorn 

				-- Vanyel, Iron Chef Kosher
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 September 2003

%%

meg:      rob made a funny but he can't spell it

				-- meg's highly educated husband
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 September 2003

%%

Vanyel:   ever get to deal with sonicwall?
Vanyel ducks the fourthcoming vomit
wob:      nope
wob:      dont know who/what that is
Vanyel:   imagine if AOL built a firewall
Vanyel:   thats what a sonicwall looks like
wob:      You've got packets!

				-- Vanyel with a security nightmare
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 September 2003

%%

janet:    bless me, for I have sinned
janet:    I put rayon in a washing machine

				-- Janet repenting of crimes against fashion
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 September 2003

%%

Moni:     no workie tomorrow
marcie:   no workie!
saundo:   well, at least not at $ORK
saundo:   must clean garage
Moni:     you husband type person you
saundo:   yes
saundo:   that's me
twinkie:  did you volunteer to do that?
saundo:   "volunteer" is such a subjective word
twinkie:  hahahaha

				-- saundo obeying She Who Must Be Obeyed
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 August 2003

%%

Moni:     oh wow..Charles Bronson died
marcie:   whoa
Moni:     he was 81
Slayer:   i didn't do it!
Moni:     it's always the first one who protests

				-- Slayer, the accused
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 August 2003

%%

cuinhell throws a deat cat at firl
firl:     aww thanks.
cuinhell: i picked one with extra maggots, just for you
firl:     you're the sweetest!
Vanyel:   aww fabby
Vanyel:   he liks you!
firl:     :)

				-- cuinhell bringing firl a gift
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 August 2003

%%

Slayer:   boys have a penis.  girls have a vagina.
marcie:   very good
firl:     he forgets sometimes.
Vanyel:   ok
Vanyel:   i understand the penises and vaginas part
Vanyel:   so where do teh boobs come in?
Slayer:   usually between french kissing and fingering
Vanyel:   gotcha
Vanyel:   god now i'm all horny

				-- Vanyel needing some attention
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 August 2003

%%

Slayer:   never underestimate a poor republican who feels slighted because his
          exalted leader is a fucking panty waist
Slayer:   i assumed that was going to make sense when i started it

				-- Slayer, no Al Franken
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 August 2003

%%

ed:       billing wench has answered the phone.
ed:       doubtless she's trying to field a tech support call as only a
          seasoned crackhead can.

				-- ed's crack (heh) support staff
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 August 2003

%%

Vanyel:   the lenght of my ass plus the area of my asscheeks equals the fact
          that I have an ugly, hairy ass.

				-- Vanyel on his physical assets
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 August 2003

%%

Vanyel:   you have no idea
Vanyel:   how much I hate my job
Vanyel:   you know how much I hate K?
Vanyel:   I like K more than my job
marcie:   oh god
marcie:   move NOW

				-- Vanyel getting career advice
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 August 2003

%%

Cyrano:   damn router
Cyrano:   carry on my wayward sun
Cyrano:   there'll be packet loss when you are done

				-- janet singing a soothing little ditty
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 August 2003

%%

*** K has entered room 'Main'
K:        hewwo 
*** Raist has been disconnected
K:        1 down, 18 to go
*** K has been disconnected
marcie:   2 down, 17 to go

				-- marcie knocking them off one at a time
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 August 2003

%%

saundo:   trepanning, sport for the adventurous

				-- saundo on truly extreme sports
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 August 2003

%%

marcie:   "retry, reboot, reinstall"
marcie:   the three Rs of windows support 
marcie:   ;)
saundo:   you forgot the 4th
saundo:   redhat

				-- saundo the engineer with a solution
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 August 2003

%%

janet:    I'm a sysadmin and I have 3 kids.  I no longer fear death.

				-- janet the courageous
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 August 2003

%%

Al:       let's presume that I don't want to actually -kill- someone, just cut
          up, cook, and eat someone who's already dead. Am I doing something
          illegal here?
saundo:   i dunno.. how tasty are they?
Al:       I'll find a good recipe. I just want to know the legality
janet:    legality?
janet:    you can't own a dead body
janet:    a shame, really
Al:       'own'
marcafk:  i love you people with all the blackness in my cold little lesbian
          heart
janet:    it's not considered property
*** marcafk is now known as marcie
Al:       see
janet:    that's why necrophilia is a crime
IGadget:  whats the difference between own and have in this case?
Al:       I want to eat them not fuck them!
janet:    I can't believe I'm talking about this
tishy:    what if someone wills their body to you when they die, so you can
          eat them?
Al:       yes tishy that sort of thing
tishy:    would it be a crime then?
Al:       that's what I want to know
janet:    hm
janet:    maybe if you could make it part of a religious ritual...
Al:       supposing I'm driving down the road and happen upon someone who's
          just been killed in an accident.
marcie:   whip out the swiss army knife, the coleman stove, and go to work
Al:       can I cut off his leg and roast it?
IGadget:  you eat road kill?
marcie:   ahahha
Al:       well I want FRESH meat

				-- Al with a craving 
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 August 2003

%%

Jake:     if you were a real aussie you'd break a pool cue upside on of there
          heads
Jake:     and start a brawl
saundo:   no
Jake:     YES
saundo:   as I am a real aussie, that pool cue willhave been inserted into the
          CEO's arse
Jake:     and broken fosters bottles
saundo:   up their urethras
Jake:     and yahoo serious will be there
Jake:     no good aussie fight is complete without yahoo serious
saundo:   and he will be set on fire
saundo:   and we shall call him Yahoo of Arc
saundo:   because he was hearing voices in his hair
marcie:   and we all know how THAT goes, don't we

				-- saundo and his voices
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 August 2003

%%

marcie:   hi
saundo:   hi
marcie:   wine
marcie:   it is my friend
marcie:   how i love it so
marcie:   oh ho
marcie:   a poem by marcie
saundo:   ahahahahah
marcie bows
marcie:   thank you
marcie:   thank you

				-- marcie with an ode to the grape
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 August 2003

%%

cuinhell: if i saw both olsen twins in the same room naked with me, my penis
          would fall off in shock.
firl:     ahahah
marcie:   ahahaha
firl:     this is what I come into chat for?

				-- firl being shocked
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 August 2003

%%

*** janet has entered room 'Main'
janet:    cthulhu ate my router.

				-- janet discovering evil
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 August 2003

%%

janet:    maybe being a CIA operative *would* be less stressful

				-- janet on career choices
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 August 2003

%%

*** china has entered room 'Main'
china:    kill kill kill
marcie:   YEA
marcie:   BLOOD 
marcie:   KILL
marcie:   MAIM
marcie:   DESTROY
marcie:   oh sorry
marcie:   i got carried away there
cuinhell: the worms crawl in
cuinhell: the worms crawl out
cuinhell: the worms make lusers scream and shout
china:    the rats carry away Kenny
janet:    murder death kil

				-- the geeks having a really good day
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 August 2003

%%

janet:    I know what I need as an object lesson
janet:    a luser encased in carbonite
janet:    on the wall across from my desk

				-- janet putting the smack down
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 August 2003

%%

meg:      yiddish back waxing parlor

				-- meg's dream job
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 August 2003

%%

saundo:   a cosmonaut got married today
tishy:    ahhh
saundo:   hsi wife was in houston, he was in the iSS
Moni:     awwwwww
saundo:   240miles apart for the wedding
tishy:    yeah, i heard about that on the news the other day
saundo:   i bet the bachelor party sucked
Al:       rofl
Moni:     not much of a wedding night either
saundo:   hard to a) get a hooker on a soyuz supply ship, b) zero gravity lap
          dancing is just... pointless, and c) puking in zero G is just no fun
tishy:    now THAT would be interesting phone sex
marcie:   bahahaha
saundo:   "oh baybee *BEEEP* over"
saundo:   "oh baby *BEEEP* do it more... over"
Al:       *snorque*
saundo:   "over? over."
saundo:   "not over, IN.. over"

				-- sex! in! spaaaaace!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 August 2003

%%

marcie:   i must prove my l33tness
marcie:   USE PCS INSTEAD OF SUNS YOU IDIOTS
wob:      heh heh heh
marcie:   LINUX IS KEWL!@#!
marcie:   okay now i can't think of anything else lame to say
marcie:   gimme a minute, i'm sure i'll come up with something

				-- marcie showing off
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 August 2003

%%

Manuka:   marcie: while househunting today, we saw a sign that said something
          about "Profess onal painters"
Manuka:   i said it was all fun and games till someone loses an I
marcie groans
marcie smacks ian
marcie:   NO MORE
Manuka:   hey, andrea already smacked me for it
marcie:   it's my privilege as your ex-wife ;)
Manuka:   oh, ok
Manuka:   carry on then

				- Manuka being properly punished
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 August 2003

%%

Seeker:   oh shit..my cyber gf is online and she is hot..i have to go

				-- the n00b trying to get laid
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 August 2003

%%

meg:      SS
meg:      HOOOKR MOSKIES
meg:      AGHAHGA
IGadget:  what ever you took either take another or stop taking them ;)

				-- meg on the drugs
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 August 2003

%%

Vanyel:   nothing says loving like a back wax

				-- ow.
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 August 2003

%%

firl:     ok whatd I miss? I had to page soemthing.
cuinhell: hardcore ed on leo action
firl:     damn!
ed:       what
ed:       ed on leo action, where?
cuinhell: imagine a short hairy jew being accosted by a tall albino
cuinhell: it's not pretty
firl:     ahahahah
firl:     thats a beautiful picture.
cuinhell: like lurch humping a chimpanzee
firl:     stop that. the patrons are wondering whats so funny
cuinhell: :)

				-- cuinhell amusing firl
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 August 2003

%%

*** shited is now known as ed
ed:       sweet
cuinhell: how was the shit?
ed:       a perfect 1/4 scale model of your head
cuinhell: wow, how is your ass?
ed:       it will never be the same
cuinhell: i bet

				-- CU with his head up someone *else's* ass
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 August 2003

%%

Vanyel:   rachel had a "hair emergency"
Vanyel:   and she had to run to wal-mart.
Vanyel:   god I love women sometimes

				-- Vanyel on his loving girlfriend
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 August 2003

%%

Vanyel:   constipated
Vanyel:   this bodes well for the week

				-- Vanyel having a case of the Mondays
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 August 2003

%%

K:        oprah's hot

				-- K's new love
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 August 2003

%%

wob:      yay for fuckin raises
wob:      i like looking at my check and seeing a bigger number
wob:      makes me sleep better on the job
wob:      h0h0h0h0

				-- wob, the dedicated employee
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 August 2003

%%

china:    This is the first concert I've ever been to where, if you bumped
          into someone, instead of them cussing your ass out, they invited you
          to have sex with them
china:    It was awesome

				-- china on Bob Dylan
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 August 2003

%%

Vanyel:   abka decky jeckyl vernouch stewitzes!

				-- Vanyel flailing
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 August 2003

%%

marcie:   i am the moral majority, motherfuckers.

				-- marcie ruling with an iron fist
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 July 2003

%%

sunbeam:  i have a 24 inch tall wookie
saundo:   now that's something to brag about!

				-- sunbeam bragging
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 July 2003

%%

K:        some people say i have rabies
K:        i just think i hav ea  digestion problem with saliva

				-- K continuing his seduction
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 July 2003

%%

K:        lets have an orgy
lisa:     you're old
CrOW:     lets not
K:        sure?
K:        i hav ea twister board
K:        and some KY jelly
lisa:     ugh

				-- K entrancing the ladies 
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 July 2003

%%

K:        with your 256kb penis
Vanyel:   and my 48mb hamster.
Cyrano:   well
Cyrano:   apply shannon's law
CrOW:     *shudder*
Vanyel:   *** Vanyel (Perpendicular Teeth):
Cyrano:   that's a pretty small hampster
Vanyel:   *** Logged in from 48mb-hamster.nurgle.net 
Cyrano:   maybe a micron across?
Vanyel:   rofl
Cyrano:   at one bit of entropy per planc area
Vanyel:   it has to be small to fit in my 256k penis.
CrOW:     more bistro math
K is crackin up
CrOW:     never adds up to anything
Cyrano:   so that's a 30-pin one?
K:        9 pin penis
Vanyel:   just the one pin.
K:        one pin
Cyrano:   serial.
K:        beige wire
marcie:   parallel penis?
Vanyel:   i guess that would be better than a spiral one.
K:        rated at 2400bps
Cyrano tries to make an awful pun involving bps and fails.
marcie:   fortunately, spiral penises are rare.
marcie:   or so i hear.
Vanyel:   ahahah
Vanyel:   oh fuck i think i pulled something laughing
Vanyel:   no it wasnt my penis
marcie:   :)

				-- calculating PenisMath
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 July 2003

%%

K humps lisa's leg
lisa:     down.
K humps lisa lower
lisa:     oh yeah
K:        that the money spot baby
lisa:     wait
K:        no
lisa:     you missed it
K:        *jizz*
K:        oops
Vanyel:   rofl
K:        i'll get you a towel.
marcie:   was it good for you, lisa?
lisa:     almost

				-- lisa's fabulous sex life
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 July 2003

%%

*** K has entered room 'Main'
K:        ugly fuckin whores.
K:        oh, i'm sorry, hi
marcie:   don't talk about your momma that way
marcie:   it's unchristian
K:        mama's a christian
K:        i'm talking about whores
marcie:   and the difference is...?
lisa:     don't talk about me like that
tishy:    what, you can't have a christian whore?
lisa:     i prefer slut rather than whore
Al:       christian whores.
K:        mmmm
K:        christian whores
Al:       rosary anal beads.
K:        fuck catholics
Al:       *shrug*
Vanyel:   i lov eyou guys

				-- loading up the bus to hell
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 July 2003

%%

Vanyel:   i hope to one day be able to piss fractals
tishy:    can you piss famous works of art?
tishy:    the mona lisa?
tishy:    waterlillies?
Vanyel:   i can shit the mona lisa.
tishy:    stary starry night?
Vanyel:   ok this topic isnt much better.

				-- Vanyel trying to change the subject
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 July 2003

%%

tishy:    The average ejaculate travels about 28 miles per hour, faster than
          the average city bus, which travels about 25 miles per hour
tishy:    get there faster, ride a sperm

				-- tishy the travel agent with advice
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 July 2003

%%

Courtney: I hate having taguen gone away
Courtney: hate it!
Courtney: I feel totally empty and devoid
Courtney: it fucking sucks
marcie dives into courtho's lap and does indecent and perverted things to her
Courtney: oh
Courtney: well then
Courtney: taguen who?
marcie:   ahahaha
Courtney: :D

				-- Courtney being all cheered up
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 July 2003

%%

Lia:      ok, how's this for amusing
Lia:      I have to fill out a health form to send in with my paperwork for U
          of AZ
Lia:      can't finish it because I don't know my blood type
Lia:      I know my damn DNA profile but not my blood type
Lia:      go figure

				-- Lia reaching the pinnacle of geekdom
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 July 2003

%%

tishy:    blue pee, coffee-colored snot
tishy:    you're so colorful, leo

				-- tishy admiring vanyel's bodily fluids
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 July 2003

%%

Moni:     gay men exaust me
Cyrano:   context, moni, context.

				-- Moni giving away her secrets
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 July 2003

%%

marcie:   twinkie baby
twinkie:  hey marcie
marcie fixes twinkie dinner, slowdances with her, plies her with expensive
          wine, and seduces her in strange and deviant ways
twinkie:  missed ya sweetcheeks
marcie:   i knew it

				-- marcie wooing twinkie
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 July 2003

%%

Moni:     I have to stop thinking about wedding stuff. I just had a dream that
          Vicki didn't show up to the wedding, but I had the ceremony anyway
          and leo was the standin

				-- Moni overdoing it a bit
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 July 2003

%%

twinkie:  we are the classy ppl around here
twinkie:  *belches*

				-- twinkie, the classy dame
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 July 2003

%%

K:        i like n iggers
marcie:   behold, k's contribution to diversity, peace and racial harmony.

				-- *sniff* that's beautiful, man
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 July 2003

%%

Cyrano:   maniacal laughter is bad, isn't it?
firl:     only if not used properly
Cyrano:   coming from my mother
firl:     then, no its bad.

				-- firl's advice to Cyrano
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 July 2003

%%

Moni:     heheh..I like my boss. she just walked into my office and threw
          chocolate at me

				-- Moni's boss, a likeable sort
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 July 2003

%%

K:        man i love my first drafted fantasy football team
K:        if this team were a woman, i'd stick my dick in it

				-- K with the love
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 July 2003

%%

K:        when the best moment you have in a month is a girl telling you she's
          not pregnant
K:        yer having a shitty time

				-- K having a bad month
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 July 2003

%%

K:        I AM A MAN WHORE ARMY OF ONE

				-- K bragging
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 July 2003

%%

Vanyel:   Lexington man kills himself at gas station after having two credit
          cards declined
Cyrano:   "Your gas pump is WITHOUT HONOR!"
Vanyel:   aheheh

				-- Cyrano going Klingon
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 July 2003

%%

K:        i thikn yo9u guys are just competing with each other for top
          weirdness honors
K:        the Nesty Awards

				-- K with a stunningly brilliant observation
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 July 2003

%%

Veritech: oracle makes baby jesus cry

				-- Veritech with advice on databases
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 July 2003

%%

wob:      abbyfirl
firl:     wob :)
wob:      beat any people with a book today?
firl:     only one, but he deservedit.

				-- the Librarianatrix with punishment 
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 July 2003

%%

china:    ya know, I had an interesting conversation kinda happen the other
          day
china:    I'm not sure if I just volunteered for a threesome or not

				-- China having problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 July 2003

%%

Vanyel:   i am now in stage two intestinal destress

				-- Vanyel with an update on *his* bowels
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 July 2003

%%

Cyrano:   this one reminded me of newt gingrich

				-- Cyrano on the product of her bowels
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 July 2003

%%

ed:       stupidity stalks you
ed:       day and night
ed:       stupidity is the grim reapers cousin, lenny
ed:       the one that couldn't get a fuckin job because of his hair int he
          70's
ed:       but now he's back
Vanyel:   ahahahah
ed:       the computer having provided him with more work than he can handle

				-- ed on stupidity
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 July 2003

%%

bitched:  I had these two huge 100lb bags of meat sittin in the passenger seat
          of my truck
Cyrano:   it almost sounds like a sorority

				-- ed on his meat
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 July 2003

%%

Moni woke up for the third day with a headache
Vanyel:   getting enough iron?
Vanyel:   or water?
Moni:     I think it's my retainer
Moni:     and no, i'm probably not getting enough iron
Moni:     which would explain why I'm tired all the time.
cuinhell leaps on moni and hits her with a 9 iron
Moni:     oh..I feel SO much better now

				-- cuinhell looking after Moni's health
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 July 2003 

%%

saundo:   cd /usr/sex/linux
saundo:   hrm
saundo:   i think my fingers are trying to tell me something

				-- saundo needing recovery
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 July 2003

%%

saundo:   more penis enlargement spam
Cyrano:   "make penis fast"?

				-- Cyrano with creative spam
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 July 2003

%%

marcie:   damn the phone needs to quit ringing
saundo:   a leatherman and the phone cord
saundo:   sorted.

				-- saundo with a solution for the hell desk
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 July 2003

%%

meg:      hm i got an email about "dirty stripers"
ed:       awesome
ed:       my wife got email about penis enlargement
ed:       I got one about lactating lasses
meg:      i could bust her walls apart with my enormous pole
meg:      if only i opened that email
meg:      why am i passing up such fantastic opportunities

				-- meg's fascinating spam
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 July 2003

%%

marcie:   moni can write porn without even realizing it

				-- marcie bragging on Moni
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 July 2003

%%

marcie:   "get down there and start licking!"
Moni:     lick em good

				-- Moni and marcie with a common bond
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 July 2003

%%

firl:     quick.
firl:     someone tell me what motivates me
Al:       what motivates you?
Al:       your nether regions, when they quiver with urgency, as your entire
being shakes with the desire of your lover's touch?
marcie:   um
marcie:   settle down there, beavis
firl:     no, probably not.
Al:       been watching too many bad SNL reruns I think
Al:       what motivates you
firl:     pretend you're at a job interview.
Al:       your desire to live well by better serving humanity?
firl:     or rather *I* am.
meg:      say you're trying to become a wino
meg:      but you need to be able to afford the good stuff
meg:      so you dont have headaches when you come into work
marcie:   ahahah
firl:     hehehehe
marcie:   i like that one
firl:     meg, that is the right answer, I thnk
meg:      ;)
firl:     i'm gonna call you on my cell phone if i need any other gems during
          my interview
firl:     make sure you're up by 9 a.m.
marcie:   that would be 8AM mountain time, meggers
marcie:   <-- helpful
firl:     :)
marcie:   chop chop!
firl:     she'll be up!
firl:     meg, maybe you should go to bed now...
firl:     so you're well rested.
meg:      ahahha
marcie:   yeha meg
marcie:   you need to get rested
marcie:   for firl's interview tomorrow
firl:     now meg, you'll need tocome up with some other good stuff
firl:     like my strengths and weaknesses
firl:     and maybe why i'm the best person for the job
firl:     and hmmmm
meg:      because you are the best librarian with retardation
IGadget:  strengths thighs, weaknesses chocolate and Ice cream
marcie:   YES
firl:     i can spontaneously drool during the interview if you think it will
          help my chances...
meg:      hah
firl:     or do you mean my patrons are the retards? :)
IGadget:  hahaa
meg:      tell em if they dont hire you that you'll go dewey decimal on their
          asses
firl:     ahahahahaha
firl:     If they don't hire me, I'm going to throw their library into total
          HX821
firl:     wait. maybe thats not ararchy
meg:      uh oh there is that ferocious librarian wit
firl:     maybe i should look that up
firl:     anarchy
meg:      use that to your advantage
Al:       conan the librarian?
firl:     wit and a large sword

				-- firl the Librarianatrix
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 July 2003

%%

saundo:   like a rat out of an aqueduct
Vanyel:   so are the days of our lives

				-- as the Nest turns
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 July 2003

%%

ed shoves his manmeat in wobs mouth
ed:       shaddup
wob:      geesus knock it off
wob:      i dont need a toothpick right now

				-- wob complaining
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 July 2003

%%

Vanyel:   you dont know pain till you catcgh you nipple in electric cliuppers.

				-- Vanyel, in such pain he can't type
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 June 2003

%%

lisa:     he is such a horrible actor
lisa:     it's sad
lisa:     i cry for him.
Vanyel:   well yeah
Al:       ha
lisa:     not really, but if i cared i would
Vanyel:   its bill from bill and ted
Vanyel:   saving the world
marcie:   it's ted
Vanyel:   "woah. I killed an agent."
marcie:   he played ted
marcie:   it's sad that i know that.
Vanyel:   "EXCELLENT!" *air guitars*
marcie:   hahaha
lisa:     actually his worst was on speed
lisa:     "there's a bomb. on. the. bus"
Vanyel:   yyeagh
Al:       did he do anything that wasn't total crap between bill & ted and the
          matrix?
Vanyel:   "there's a bomb, on. he bus."
Vanyel:   "excellent!" *air guitars*
lisa:     hah

				-- the crew on Keanu Reeves
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 June 2003

%%

Vanyel:   i will gladly pay you tuesday
Vanyel:   for a blowjob today.

				-- vanyel with an offer we can't refuse
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 June 2003

%%

marcie:   i have a new religion
marcie:   i now follow the matrix
Al:       ?
Vanyel:   ahehehe
marcie:   and let me tell you why
marcie:   because the matrix has 1) cool music 2) cool shades, and 3) cool
          music
marcie:   oh, and trinity.
marcie:   can't forget that.

				-- marcie seeing the light, hallelujah!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 June 2003

%%

Vanyel:   i need a cool theme song
Vanyel:   chicks dig a cool theme song.
lisa:     hell yeah. that's why mr. rogers was so hot.
marcie:   hahhhaha
Vanyel:   nah
Vanyel:   i think it was his striptease, actually
Vanyel:   shit
Vanyel:   now I have this burlesque version of the miuster rogers theme going
          through my head
marcie:   ahahahahahahahahahahah
marcie:   congrats, leo
marcie:   you have sunk to new lows
marcie:   welcome to life with slayer
Vanyel:   it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood *BOMP*
Vanyel:   its a beautiful day ith a neighbor *BOMP*
lisa:     la la la
Vanyel:   wont you be.... miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.
Vanyel:   *winks coquetishly*

				-- vanyel desecrating our childhood memories
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 June 2003

%%

Cyrano:   maybe a portable defibrillator just for fun
Cyrano:   "running kazaa?  CLEAR!"

				-- Cyr on what to carry in her purse
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 June 2003

%%

firl:     ugh. called into work early
Vanyel:   the batfone rang?
Vanyel:   you hadda come in?
firl:     its hard to say no to commissioner gordon
Vanyel:   "Abby. We need you in the office. 200 screaming harry potter fans
          are rioting.  They need those books@ GET IN HERE!"

				-- firl the Librarianatrix
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 June 2003

%%

Sarge:    men in a titty bar are like woman in a shoe store.. they want to see
          every pair regardless of the size..

				-- Sarge with a poignant observation
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 June 2003

%%

china:    Yes, he is dead. My work here is done.

				-- china on Strom Thurmond
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 June 2003

%%

marcie:   cynthia just called me up to tell me she's coming to pick me up
marcie:   "you know, uh, i was thinking that could, you know, celebrate the
          uh..."
Cyrano:   mmm
marcie:   "the supreme court decision?"
marcie:   "why yes!"
Cyrano:   damnit straight!
Cyrano:   er
marcie:   "it never was illegal in this state, you know."
marcie:   "so? it was illegal somewhere! celebrate! woo hoo!"
marcie:   "you are SO goddamn WEIRD."
Cyrano:   I am cracking up here
marcie:   so was i 
marcie:   i'm still chuckling
Cyrano:   have fun celebrating
Vanyel:   ahahaahh
Vanyel:   damn straight
marcie:   oh i will ;)

				-- celebrating the sodomy laws being overturned
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 June 2003

%%


Cyrano:   smurf genocide.
cuinhell: i always, secretly, hoped gargamel would win.
Vanyel:   i wanted to be gargamel when i grew up
cuinhell: buy a cat and live your dream

				-- cuinhell, charter member of PETA
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 June 2003

%%

Moni:     arugh..my tits itch
Moni:     think I"ll let them be free

				-- moni, itching for relief (ba dum ba ting!)
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 June 2003

%%

saundo:   Lesbian to the rescue!
marcie leers
Vanyel:   bad joy.
Vanyel:   no donut.
marcie:   yes.
marcie:   YES
saundo:   ahahahah
saundo:   ba dum ba ting!
Vanyel:   there is no donut.
tishy pictures marcie in a tight bodysuit with a big L on the front
Vanyel:   there is only hole.
marcie snickers
zag:      hm
tishy:    Lesbian Girl
tishy:    and her sidekick, Butch Dyke
Vanyel:   look! in the sky!
Vanyel:   it's a carpet!
Vanyel:   no!
saundo:   it's a rug!
marcie:   ahahahahahha
saundo:   it's a flying harness!
marcie:   what is that huge flapping thing!
marcie:   it's... a tongue! and a pair of teeth!
saundo:   it's Dyke Girl! and Butchy BoyGirl!
Vanyel:   strange lesbian from another planet who can lick to the center of a
          tootsie roll pop in three licks
tishy:    oh, its Captain Strap-on!
marcie:   RUGMUNCHER POWERS ACTIVATE!
Vanyel:   AHAHAHAHAHAH
saundo:   Commander Strapon and Ensign Lube-o-tron!
Vanyel:   marcie:   RUGMUNCHER POWERS ACTIVATE!
saundo:   you're going on a journey, a journey of sight, sound, and licking,
          you're entering - the DYKE ZONE
marcie strikes a pose, fists on hips and chest out, as the sunshine glints off
          her teeth with a *ting*
saundo:   ahahahahah
Vanyel:   god
Vanyel:   this was the worst movie
Vanyel:   EVER
saundo:   there's a wonder woman joke here somewhere
tishy sneaks up behind marcie and tweaks her nipples
marcie:   keep digging, saundo
marcie jumps
saundo:   ahahahahah
saundo puts the hard hat on
tishy:    they were sticking out
saundo:   i'll be back from the depths of my mind
tishy:    i just HAD to! 
saundo:   the a/c is on 
Vanyel:   her high beams are on
tishy:    oooh, its scary back there
marcie hands saundo a flashlight anda  canary

				-- marcie rescuing tish from the evil evil men
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 June 2003

%%

saundo:   ok
saundo:   10:30
Vanyel:   later saundass
saundo:   wel, 10:24
Vanyel:   GO
tishy:    fantasy hour over?
saundo:   and there has been no fantasies erupt
saundo:   this, as they say, is disappointing
tishy:    go find the lesbians
tishy:    i can't do this single-handed

				-- tishy in need of assistance
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 June 2003

%%

ed:       hate us not
ed:       for we are the feces monkeys

				-- ed lamenting his lot
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 June 2003

%%


IGadget:  semi naked I would take to men either not top or no bottom
IGadget:  I swear the complex pool needs a solar pool cover
marcie:   you  have the most fascinating babble, gadget

				-- IGadget rambling 
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 June 2003

%%

> Getting ridiculed by an online geek community is one indication that you
> have a life.

and to make this comment on a BBS is further proof that you are in desperate 
need of one. 

				-- Zorro responding to K
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 June 2003

%%

Vodkyel:  how the fuck
Vodkyel:  does a gorilla get named donkey kong
marcie belches happily
marcie:   they misspeelled it
Vodkyel:  really/ 
marcie:   it was supposed to be donkey dong
Vodkyel:  AHAHAHAHAH
marcie:   but they misspleled the box
saundo:   ahahahahahah
marcie:   and then they had to cover for their mistake
Vodkyel:  ok
marcie:   and make it a gorillia isntead f a mule or whatever
marcie:   and
marcie:   um
Vodkyel:  but where did the donkey come from
saundo:   so they put the gorilla in
saundo:   ahahahaha
marcie:   its possible i'm drunk
saundo:   nah
Vodkyel:  joy
saundo:   perish the thought 
Vodkyel:  i love you 
marcie:   i love you too loe ;)
marcie:   erm
marcie:   leo 
marcie:   godamit
Vodkyel:  LOE!!!!~
Vodkyel:  LOE LOE LOE! 
Vodkyel:  ahahaha
marcie:   fck you
saundo:   you are hereby now know as "Level Of Effort"
marcie:   ahahah goddammit
marcie:   FUCK YOU

				-- marcie and Vanyel, possibly intoxicated
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 June 2003

%%

Moni:     assflecks
Moni:     oh..that sounds bad

				-- Moni babbling to herself
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 June 2003

%%

Moni:     splish splash I was getting fucked in the ass
Moni:     long about a saturday night

				-- Moni with her ideal weekend
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 June 2003

%%

marcie:   i had a 3 inch clit!

				-- marcie bragging
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 June 2003

%%

Moni:     pot fucks up my fingers
Moni:     good thing I'm not having sex

				-- Moni having a good time
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 June 2003

%%

tishy:    we really should have a NestOrgy one of these days
marcie:   uhh
marcie:   i'd be scared of that IRL
Al:       only one?
Vanyel:   yeah.
marcie:   unless it was just you, me, china, meg and moni
Vanyel:   becaue DK would be there.
tishy:    ok
Al:       HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
saundo:   UGH
Al:       HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
tishy:    invite only
Al:       HAAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
marcie:   ahahahahah
saundo kicks vanyel
saundo:   you ARE EVIL
Vanyel:   nobody ever believes me.
tishy:    i do!
saundo:   i didn't believe you, but now I do
saundo:   you fucker

				-- the EN orgy!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 June 2003

%%

Vanyel:   I usually scream my own name.

				-- Vanyel on HIS strange sex life
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 June 2003

%%

Moni:     at that point, GF starts screaming "ElEPHANT ELEPANT ELEPHANT"

				-- Moni's strange, strange sex life
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 June 2003

%%

Slayer:   why is courtney having sex appropriate, but me jerking off not
Moni:     because court is hot

				-- Moni laying down the law
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 June 2003

%%

tishy:    and leo, you can feed me grapes and stuff
Vanyel:   oh gee can I?
tishy is injured, ya know
tishy:    keep begging like that and you might get places ;)
Cyrano:   fantasie impromptu op.66
Cyrano:   you know, just *reading* this gives me chills
Vanyel:   get where?
tishy:    um
tishy:    places
Vanyel:   ok
Vanyel feeds tishy coldstone
tishy:    oh god yes!
tishy orgasms
Slayer:   what is coldstone and where can i get some?  if it does taht wto
          women
tishy:    its when you take your dick and stick it in the freezer for an hour
tishy:    you should try it
Moni:     heh
tishy:    wait, you probably have already
Vanyel:   C>N|K
tishy hands leo a towel
marcie snickers
Vanyel:   whoever sais "/a milky ways" gets a baseball bat in the genitals.
Slayer almond joys
firl:     hehehe
Vanyel smacks slay in the nuts with fabby's head
firl:     hey wait.
tishy:    ahahaha
Slayer:   no no, keep it coming
Vanyel:   ok
tishy:    brb, on the great dvd remote hunt
Vanyel cmacks slay in the genitals with monty's head
firl:     much better
Slayer:   not from my perspective
Vanyel:   you'll get over it.
Cyrano:   hah

				-- cold stone slayer's dick!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 June 2003

%%

Cyrano:   that's one fringe benefit to parenthood
Cyrano:   I no longer fear any bodily fluids.

				-- Cyr the good parent
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 June 2003

%%

sunbeam:  he's absolutely adorable, possibly the cutest baby ever born
Marianne: of course
sunbeam:  i'm not just saying that because he's mine and he almost killed me

				-- sunners on her new spawnling
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 June 2003

%%

saundo:   and today's random sport for data center ops - server tipping!

				-- saundo being a jock
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 June 2003

%%

Cyrano:   Everything I Needed To Know I Learned From The Marcie Quotefile.

				-- Cyr solidifying her life philosophy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 June 2003

%%

Vanyel:   schompthing is vfrong
marcie:   Vanyel:   schompthing is vfrong
marcie:   such as your typing?
Vanyel:   thats normal.
marcie:   oh yeah

				-- Vanyelitis strikes again
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 June 2003

%%

marcie:   holy shit
marcie:   i put up a mini-shelf and it's level, even
marcie:   go me
marcie flexes
Al stares
Vanyel:   bitch!
tishy:    a true dyke
Vanyel:   shes even got vests!
tishy:    can put up a straight shelf, and have it be the only thing straight
          in her life
marcie:   ahahah
marcie:   HAHAHAHAHAHA
Al:       hahahahaha

				-- tishy complimenting marcie
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 June 2003

%%

marcie:   i must clean this goddamn room
marcie:   afk to get a broom and a flamethrower

				-- marcie breaking out the big guns
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 June 2003

%%

Cyrano:   you're not drunk if you can lie on the ground without hanging on.

				-- Cyrano with a guideline
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 June 2003

%%

Vanyel:   testickle!
Vanyel:   I have several

				-- Vanyel bragging
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 June 2003

%%

Vanyel:   i sawear
Vanyel:   one day meg and slayt are gonna end up having hot sex
meg:      is that one of your fetishes slay
Vanyel:   you knot ey secretly like eacho ther
Slayer:   only if i'm passed out and tied up

				-- wuv, twue wuv...
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 June 2003

%%

ed hands leo a pair of khaki slacks
ed hands leo a sly, weasely grin
ed hands leo a handful of company pens and other schwag
ed slaps leo on the ass "Go make daddy proud!  Sell Sell Sell!"
marcie grins
marcie:   ed! remember
Vanyel:   ed.
marcie:   DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN SALESENGINEER!

				-- Vanyel being tormented
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 June 2003

%%

Vanyel:   you know
Vanyel:   windows XP is kinda nice
Vanyel:   its much easier to ddos than win2k

				-- Vanyel giving XP propz
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 June 2003

%%

ed:       goddamn
ed:       the beer is good in the northwest
ed:       my fuckin liver had to go on the plane as carry-on baggage.

				-- ed back from vacation
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 June 2003

%%

Cyrano:   I have a wok, a stick of butter, and a bag of chocolate cookies.

				-- Cyrano with a threat
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 June 2003

%%

Jake:     this place is too damned quiet w/o ed
marcie:   ain't it the truth
Vanyel:   yeah
Vanyel:   i have a few mins tho
Vanyel:   so
Vanyel runs into the nearest phone booth
Vanyel:   and emerges...
*** Vanyel is now known as edyel
edyel:    goddamnit cunty
Jake:     bahahahaha
marcie:   ahahahah
edyel:    what are you laughing at, twitnipple
marcie:   YEAH!
Jake:     ah yes
marcie:   COCKDRIBBLE!
edyel:    goddamnit
edyel:    I swear
edyel:    the phone rings
edyel:    it never ends
marcie:   "fucking techs!"
edyel:    damn monkeys
Jake:     fuckwit
Jake:     fuckwad
edyel:    watch your pussylicker, penisbleeder

				-- Vanyel trying to keep us entertained
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 June 2003

%%

Vanyel:   is zippy dating someone with kids?
Slayer:   no
Vanyel:   no, the other zippy
Slayer:   who is the other zippy
Vanyel:   the pinhead
Slayer:   i dare you to make sense
Vanyel:   ahahahah
Vanyel:   thats a tall order

				-- Vanyel ducking a dare
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 June 2003

%%

Vanyel:   so annoyed
Vanyel:   see
Vanyel:   I realised something
Vanyel:   I understand hitler now
Vanyel:   jews in groups can be SO FUCKING ANNOYING
Vanyel:   ARGH

				-- Vanyel on his Israeli-based employer
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 May 2003

%%

cqafk:    he was all loopy on demerol injections last night
cqafk:    "say, have you seen that little elf?"
cqafk:    "he's a good elf"
cqafk:    (sleep)
Toby:     lol
Toby:     I was lke that after my knee surgery
cqafk:    his mum asks him "did the elf take your testicle, taguen"
cqafk:    taguen: ohh baaaad elf"
cqafk:    (sleep)
ed:       mahahahaha
cqafk:    it was fun.

				-- Court's boyfriend after testicle surgery
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 May 2003

%%

Vanyel:   oh woah.
Vanyel:   explosives found at a ups store
marcie:   eesh
IGadget:  mail bombs etc.

				-- the replacement for the USPS
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 May 2003

%%

Cyrano:   lesbian biker nuns.
marcie:   where?
Cyrano:   had some weird dreams
marcie:   knowing you? i have no doubt about this.

				-- Cyrano showing off
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 May 2003

%%

ed coldboots marcie
marcie:   kinky
Xi:       whoa
ed jackboots wob
Xi:       boot lesbian:b
ed:       boot>
ed:       boot> lesbian
marcie:   :)
ed:       loading 3233343x2434334 LESBIAN
ed:       ........waiting for carpet check.....
ed:       .......carpet check complete.......
ed:       init
ed:       starting Secure Sexual Hologram
marcie:   hahaha
Xi:       dd if=/dev/tongue of=/lesbian bs=1024 count=-1
IGadget:  %%%%% ERROR: Nothing to put init
ed:       apache quad headed dildo starting
Xi:       asspache
ed:       login:
ed:       root
ed:       password:
Xi:       l3sb14n
Crazy asks marcie to firgive them, they're just jealous you get more women
          than they do  :)
marcie grins
marcie:   i'm actually quite flattered ;)
Xi:       LesbianBSD
ed:       amazon on gspot%
ed:       ls
Xi:       ls -ialrt
ed:       leather
Xi:       ls -ilart
ed:       rm /dev/penis
ed:       cat /dev/null /dev/cumshot
Xi:       makedev UNCLEFISTY2K
ed:       '/etc/cumshot
ed:       ln -s /dev/penis /dev/dildo

				-- the new DykeBSD OS
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 May 2003

%%

Xi:       knowing the NSA, they're cracking crypto
Xi:       or making better crypto
Xi:       once you have the key, opening the door is merely a small act
ed:       they're using it to figure out how to get to first base with your
          sister
Xi:       AHAHAHAHAHAHA
ed:       after 10 days of computing
Xi:       one answer comes up
ed:       the NSA's keycracker spits out "42" and then bursts into flames..
IGadget:  damn, I dont even have a sister
Xi:       AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

				-- the future of crypotography
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 May 2003

%%

Xyll:     hey marcie - any idea which word u smispelled back there?
marcie:   Xyll:     hey marcie - any idea which word u smispelled back there?
marcie:   i think it was the word "irony".

				-- marcie battling the unarmed
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 May 2003

%%

ed:       if you're thinking hard-boiled eggs in a tubesock
ed:       you'll get a good bag massage
ed:       if you're thinking mexican crack-whore lookin for that white rock in
          the base of your being, you're talking super vacuum suck
ed:       if you're thinking peanut-butter lickin lesbian, you'll get a sloppy
          knob job
ed:       dont' think about vampires workin a blood sausage, though...
ed:       unless you're into that.
marcie:   dude, you are so damn weird
saundo:   this, as they say marcie, is an understatement

				-- ed on blowjobs
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 May 2003

%%

Slayer:   spoken like a man who's never accidentally superglued a condom on
          before

				-- Slayer talking about his sex life
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 May 2003 

%%

Vanyel:   sometimes you just have to let someone do something you dont want
          them to do, to keep them out of your hair
ed:       or
Cyrano:   what, like breathing?
Vanyel:   well that

				-- Vanyel learning patience
					Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 May 2003

%%

Vanyel:   play mp3's via lpr
marcie:   sick.
Vanyel:   actaully
Vanyel:   it makes some warped sense
Vanyel:   queue management
Vanyel:   in fact
Vanyel:   http://tinyurl.com/cj5w
Vanyel:   it us actually a great hack
Vanyel:   the more I think about it
marcie:   SICK
marcie:   mind you
marcie:   that doesn't mean i won't try to get it working
Vanyel:   hheeh

				-- Vanyel and marcie being sick and geeky
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 May 2003

%%

sunbeam:  i was so excited over his first dirty diaper
sunbeam:  now, the excitement is definitely waning

				-- sunbeam the new mommy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 May 2003

%%

Cyrano:   maybe leo and I could do a road trip
Cyrano:   kind of like thelma and louise, but without the dying part.
IGadget:  going to be packing heat?
Cyrano:   naah, just 50 gigs of mp3's

				-- Cyrano and Vanyel going to Moni's wedding
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 May 2003

%%

Cyrano:   <barbie>Extended Unix octal mode bits are *hard*.</barbie>

				-- Cyrano speaks truth
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 May 2003

%%

Cyrano:   could be that active desktop got roached
AlFK:     what did you do, log in?

				-- Al doing Windows troubleshooting
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 May 2003

%%

Slayer:   i love the smell of a hindi man's ass after a night of curry binging

				-- Slayer with one of his favorite things
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 May 2003

%%

Slayer:   i'm apparently so evil that i don't even have to try anymore

				-- Slayer accomplishing his life dream
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 May 2003

%%

Vanyel:   why is it as soonas I get ready to go, the turd thats been stuck in
          the chamber decides to come out
Xi:       because it doesn't like the commute

				-- Vanyel's bowels rebelling
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 May 2003

%%

Al:       "Kwee-san?" "Yes, Ota" "In this server, the Iron Tech is combining
          Ultra320 Hard disks with an advanced RAID controller!"
saundo:   ahahahahahah
saundo:   fiber channel-sakai!
Al:       yes!
saundo:   the god of storage area networking!
IGadget:  was it made by atto?
Al:       "The challenger says that the Iron Tech's disks will overpower the
          other ingredients in this server, so instead he is using Serial ATA
          with an IDE boot drive."
IGadget:  yich
Al:       "oh...I've never seen that before...*giggle*"
Vanyel:   ahahahah
Al:       "yes, I believe it's commonly done in Gateway recipes."
saundo:   at which point the hardware floozy du jour is hit with a table
Al:       hmm. now I want a set of wooden spoons with interchangeable phillips
          driver bits.

				-- Iron Tech!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 May 2003

%%

Jake:     damnit
Jake:     its STARTING
marcie:   what
Jake:     I feel THE FEAR
marcie:   the dread?
marcie:   ahahah
marcie:   yeah!
Jake:     ahahahaha
marcie:   i know that dread.
marcie:   i know it well.
marcie:   altho
marcie:   mine is worse
marcie:   i have to go to mississippi when i go home.
Jake:     ehhh
marcie:   ;)
Jake:     new mexico/miss are oretty much interchangeable as far as suckiness
          goes
Jake:     er pretty much
marcie:   this may be true
marcie:   but we have better public restrooms ;)
Jake:     I remember when you guys beat us out fot #1 in drunk driving
Jake:     nm was so pissed
marcie:   ah, we were so proud!
marcie:   ahahahahhahaah
Jake:     oh and the ever popular race for 50th in education
Jake:     or poverty
marcie:   oh, we've got that one pretty much tied up
Jake:     those were the big ones if I remember
marcie:   except for arkansas
Jake:     damned mississippi!
marcie:   they come in last and fuck us up sometimes
Jake:     taking are well-deserved accolades
marcie:   damned arkanas!
marcie:   see, i can't even spell!
marcie:   fucking arkansas.

				-- Jake preparing to go home to New Mexico
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 May 2003

%%

saundo:   ass
marcie:   ass!
Vanyel:   penis.
marcie:   vagina.
saundo:   rectum
saundo:   don't do it
Vanyel:   nostrils
marcie:   anus
saundo:   urethra
Vanyel:   eardrum
cuinhell: duodenum
marcie:   sinuses
Vanyel:   gills
marcie:   perineum
saundo:   intestine
cuinhell: cockles
marcie:   testicles
saundo:   scrotum
cuinhell: sheepdip
saundo:   sheepdip?
marcie:   australia!
saundo:   australia australia, we love you - crack a tube!
Vanyel:   fuck austrailia
saundo:   i'll relay the message next time i'm home
marcie:   roight, that concludes the reading of the rules -- bruce!
*** saundo is now known as bruce
bruce:    alright bruce
Vanyel:   bunch of uppity upside down englishmen in denial
bruce:    mind if I call you bruce to keep it clear?
*** cuinhell is now known as bruc3
bruc3:    sure thing bruce
*** Vanyel is now known as br00ce
*** marcie is now known as brewce
bruce:    ahahahaha
bruce:    *** br00ce    Vanyel          Main
bruce:    *** bruc3     cuinhell        Main
br00ce:   god we're sad
brewce:   yes
bruce:    *** bruce     saundo          Main
brewce:   yes we are
bruce:    *** brewce    Marcie          Main
bruc3:    heheh
bruc3:    this is bruce, brewce
br00ce:   there used to be a bug in ebbs
bruce:    hello bruce
br00ce:   where you could put a space after a chatid
br00ce:   how are ya bruce?
bruce:    good bruce
bruce:    crack a tube
bruce:    and now, the lord's prayer
brewce:   oi'd loike to ask the padre to lead us in a preeyar
bruce:    oh lord, we beseech thee, amen!
brewce:   amen! crack a tube!
br00ce:   god
brewce:   *sshhhhk*
*** br00ce is now known as Vanyel
*** bruc3 is now known as cuinhell
*** bruce is now known as saundo
*** brewce is now known as marcie
saundo:   well that was refreshing
marcie:   *** br00ce is now known as Vanyel
marcie:   *** bruc3 is now known as cuinhell
marcie:   *** bruce is now known as saundo
marcie:   *** brewce is now known as marcie
marcie:   i love it
saundo:   bruce, the pause that refreshes

				-- the geeks being very very bored
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 May 2003

%%

Vanyel:   if I had a hammer
Vanyel:   i'd hammer lusers in the morning
Vanyel:   i'd hammer lusers in the evening, for sending me spam
Vanyel:   i'd hammer ralsky. I'd hammer spamford!

				-- Vanyel singing a little song
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 May 2003

%%

marcie:   cool
marcie:   i downloaded a mini-animation app for my palm
marcie:   i just drew an 8-frame animation of my boss's head exploding.
marcie:   i can see this is going to be one of my favorite apps.
DontKnow: cool
marcie:   hey, it's cheaper than therapy

				-- marcie recovering
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 May 2003

%%

marcie:   wtf
marcie:   is wrong with you
Slayer:   did your wife leave you for your boss's boss?
ed:       no
Slayer:   then it aint all that bad
IGadget:  ed, have a bagel
ed:       if she did, though
ed:       that'd be cool
ed:       my bosses boss is his wife
ed:       and that could be fun to watch.

				-- ed on a rampage
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 May 2003

%%

Cyrano:   why do we lose it
Cyrano:   the joy of seeing a single raindrop on a leaf
Cyrano:   the rush of wind against the trees
Cyrano:   the deer mowing down bicyclists
Cyrano:   second one this month.

				-- Cyrano making observations on life
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 May 2003

%%

Jake:     Poll: Americans Optimistic on Economy 
Jake:     where the fuck does this poll data come from???
Jake:     which fucking americans?
Jake:     where?
Jake:     they keep 1000 of the dumbest fucking americans in a cage just for
          poll data

				-- Jake ranting
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 May 2003

%%

Cyrano:   I got lunch and got a little open container of habenero sauce
Cyrano:   as I'm walking back, a small fly buzzes around and lands in it
Cyrano:   dies instantly.

				-- Cyrano's sauce is mighty
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 May 2003

%%

sunbeam:  have i mentioned how ready I am for this baby to be out?
sunbeam:  it's too hard to ignore him when he's kicking the crap out of me
          from the inside
sunbeam:  i'm ready to start the neglect
sunbeam curls up on the couch and eats a banana
cuinhell: oooo ooo oo can i be your inconsiderate abusive boyfriend?
sunbeam:  totally
cuinhell: awesome
cuinhell: i'll be in sunny ca in june, so be ready
Vanyel:   can i be your insonsiderate abusive person you chean on your
          boyfriend with?
sunbeam:  cool, my birthday is in june
sunbeam:  yeah leo i need one of those
marcie:   can i be the lesbian best friend who seduces you away from both the
          inconsiderate abusive boyfriends?
sunbeam:  yeah my life is going to rule
marcie:   sweet!
cuinhell: wait until I morph into the hateful serial killer of everyone you
          once knew, it'll be a riot!
cuinhell: i've already negotiated the TV movie rights
sunbeam:  and the whole time i'll be neglecting my child and doing drugs and
          being a hooker on the side
cuinhell: WERD!@
marcie:   excellent
cuinhell: you must have read the script draft

				-- sunbeam lining up her future plans
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 May 2003

%%

ed:       go go gadget anger

				-- ed harnessing his rage
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 May 2003

%%

marcie:   i hear the dulcet tones of shitboss's voice
marcie:   it grates on my ears like sandpaper
marcie:   ah, monday.
marcie bows
marcie:   thank you very much

				-- marcie reciting beat poetry
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 May 2003

%%

wob:      mmm.
wob:      jewdick.

				-- wob sighing for what he's missing
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 May 2003

%%

Vanyel:   i got a keyring stuic on myt fdnger
Vanyel:   brb

				-- Vanyelitis strikes again!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 May 2003

%%

Cyrano:   the door is melting.
twinkie:  sure
twinkie:  melting?
Vanyel:   yeah
Vanyel:   I hate it when the door melts
marcie:   me too
Cyrano:   maybe I should have looked at that mushroom omelate more closely

				-- Cyrano eating strange food
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 May 2003

%%

sunbeam:  i wish i had a little personal slave that followed me around to rub
          my feet
marcie puts on sackcloth and ashes and follows sunners around
sunbeam:  scratch personal slave and insert half naked cabana boy with pina
          coladas
marcie:   aw, damn
marcie:   that lets me out
marcie:   ;)

				-- marcie being disappointed
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 May 2003

%%

cuinhell: lusers would be better behaved if they knew we could eat them at the
          least provocation

				-- cuinhell on managing his users
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 May 2003

%%

cuinhell: slackers of the world unite (when you get around to it)

				-- cuinhell with a call for action or something
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 May 2003

%%

firl:     some days I wake up and still ask myself what the fuck i'm doing in
          texas.

				-- firl having a moment of self-doubt
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 May 2003

%%

cuinhell: HAHAHHAHAHHAHA i've got an STD on Postal 2
cuinhell: now i take damage when i pee

				-- cuinhell playing a game
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 May 2003

%%

Slayer:   if i named my kid 'mary jane' what's the likelihood that either her
          or her mother would castrate me
cuinhell: less than the likelihood that the woman would commit suicide after
          finding out she'd let you impregnate her
Slayer:   how's your momma doing anyway?
cuinhell: try harder
Slayer:   didn't have to try at all.  she rolled over like the french army.
cuinhell: i could unignore zorro and get better jabs
wob:      maybe, but you wouldn't be able to read them

				-- slap fight!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 May 2003

%%

cuinhell: i am become root, destroyer of lusers

				-- cuinhell wielding his powah
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 May 2003

%%

Cyrano:   sleepy
Vanyel:   you arent sleepy until you see giant pink butterflies pass you on
          the san mateo bridge

				-- Vanyel one-upping Cyrano
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 April 2003

%%

twinkie:  i got an autistic kid to sit still for a while so that counts for
          something
twinkie:  amazing what masking tape can do

				-- twinkie educating our youth
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 April 2003

%%

saundo:   given the quality of work that i see from my own people, i no longer
          wonder why there are stains on the restroom ceilings

				-- saundo on quality control
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 April 2003

%%

Vanyel:   and I hate perl jam.
marcie:   perl jam?
Vanyel:   yes.
Vanyel:   perl jam
marcie:   all right then
Vanyel:   i.e. eddie "whining like a rich white boy" vedder
Vanyel:   oh
Vanyel:   pearl jam
Vanyel:   goddamnit
Vanyel:   I didnt even fucking notice I did tat
marcie:   heheh
marcie:   i wasn't going to say anything ;)

				-- Vanyel lacking sleep
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 April 2003

%%

Cyrano:   why waste time with puny drugs like alcohol and nicotime when
          there's chocolate?

				-- Cyrano with a good point
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 April 2003

%%

ed:       apple still fucks you
ed:       but
marcie:   they use lube
ed:       they kiss you first, and they use a bit of lube
marcie:   lots of lube
marcie:   yes
marcie:   whereas mickeysoft still dryfucks you with no warning
Cyrano:   ow.
ed:       windows yanks you 1500 armani pants down, flips you face side down
          into a vat of squirming electricrified maggots and goes at your ass
          with a 1975 carmen ghia 
marcie:   exactly
marcie:   apple even calls you the next day
marcie:   mickeysoft leaves you with an unpaid bar tab and an STD.
ed:       in an expensive penthouse suite
marcie:   yeah
ed:       and they steal your wallet, credit cards, identity and shove them
          into pASSport and Vlad the Bulgarian script kiddie buys 1500 used
          condoms on an ebay auction using your info.
marcie:   ah
marcie:   i see you've adminned IIS.

				-- marcie and ed on software companies
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 April 2003

%%

Xi:       lart him with an unused coworker

				-- Xi with advice on marcie's boss
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 April 2003

%%

Lia:      never heard a cello joke
Lia:      ever
Lia:      only ever heard 2 string jokes
saundo:   you don't need to
saundo:   it's a CELLO
Lia:      :P

				-- saundo the ex-trumpet player
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 April 2003

%%

saundo:   BREAK ZIPPER IN CASE OF EMERGENCY

				-- saundo with advice
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 April 2003

%%

ed:       its all about bodily fluids in your enemies personal spaces
ed:       dont' let anybody tell you otherwise.

				-- ed on great vengeance and furious anger
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 April 2003

%%

Vanyel:   christ
Vanyel:   nothing like the urge to kill the second I walk in the fucking door.

				-- Vanyel enjoying his job
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 April 2003

%%

*Zorro* if im ever compared to k again i swear i'll find a way to seek revenge

				-- Zorro plotting vengeance
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 April 2003

%%

Jake:     BOMB THE SOUTH
Zorro:    jake........ lemme move first? please?
Jake:     NO
Jake:     no mercy for the wicked!
Zorro:    motherfucker. i will come haunt you
Zorro:    i will possess yer keyboard

				-- Zorro with a real threat
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 April 2003

%%

Cyrano:   I have taken four sudafed today, and now I can't blink.
Cyrano:   eyeballs...turning...into...sandpaper...

				-- Cyrano trying to cut back
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 April 2003

%%

T:        my Mom came up with an idea that would sell in the zillions if she
          could patent it and get someone to design it
T:        but I can't see anybody actually attempting to market a "fart
          vacuum"

				-- T with a great idea
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 April 2003

%%

twinkie:  i would want a slut
twinkie:  dressed up as wonderwoman
marcie:   well who wouldn't!
saundo:   uh oh
twinkie:  not that stupid usual slut stuff
saundo sounds the slut klaxon
twinkie:  hahahaha
saundo:   we have a wonder woman reference!
saundo:   we have a wonder woman reference!
marcie:   yes
marcie:   we certainly do
marcie:   POINTY BOOBS
marcie:   YEAH!
twinkie:  hahahaha
twinkie:  catwoman!
saundo:   ROWR
twinkie:  nah i just think it would be stupid 
twinkie:  to have a party with action hero sluts
marcie:   no
marcie:   that woule rule.
saundo:   superman doing tap sculls from the keg
saundo:   batman hurling behind the couch
marcie:   robin holding batman's hair while he hurls and making "tsk tsk"
          noises
twinkie:  spiderman from the ceiling
saundo:   wonder woman stoned, sitting out on the diving board naked as
          jaybird
marcie:   batman mumbling "stop nagging me" to robin between hurlings
twinkie:  no
twinkie:  thats my job
saundo:   the green lantern streaking through the house with a green-filtered
          flashlight up his ass
saundo:   screaming "the GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN LANTERN farts again!"
twinkie:  oh my
marcie:   and let's not even talk about the brown hornet
twinkie:  oh my!
twinkie:  actually i think it would be fun to have a party
saundo:   captain america eating twinkie after twinkie
twinkie:  with the big lebowski theme
marcie:   daredevil doing stupid party tricks involving what's under the
          hostess' clothing
meg:      phone's ringing dude
saundo:   ahahahah
meg:      thank you donny

				-- Justice League parties
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 April 2003

%%

ed:       jesus fuckting crist on a pogostick hopping through a parkinglot
          full of fucking skulls

				-- ed having a good day
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 April 2003

%%

ed:       you old fucker
Kestrel:  damn right
Kestrel:  old
Kestrel:  and old enough to have accumulated the contacts and wealth to make
          you dissipear should you annoy my cranky old ass

				-- Kestrel the elderly
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 April 2003

%%

Vanyel:   it really irks me
Vanyel:   how nature is constantly building a better idiot

				-- Vanyel lamenting reverse Darwinism
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 April 2003

%%

Slayer:   nice, not only am i getting pron spam, not i'm getting stuff labeled
          "My big c@ck in your ass"
cuinhell: no wonder you never read my messages anymore

				-- cuinhell with hurt feelings
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 April 2003 

%%

Cyrano:   a latex catsuit, 10 pints of k-y jelly, and thou...

				-- Cyrano the romantic
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 April 2003

%%

marcie:   Bill went to a Cisco seminar on Thursday. He learned that the router
          IOS 
marcie:   is becoming more smart.
marcie:   ...
marcie:   irony, thy name is network admin.
marcie beats her head against her desk

				-- marcie, surrounded by idiots at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 April 2003

%%

Vanyel: eject
*** cuinhell has been disconnected
*** cuinhell has entered room 'Main'
Vanyel: woah
Vanyel: that was cool

				-- Vanyel being easily amused
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 April 2003

%%

Lia:      the EN island
Lia:      built out of ramen
Lia:      that would be interesting

				-- Lia pondering great things
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 April 2003

%%

Lia:      when you are writing a letter to accept an offer, what else do you
          have to say besides "I accept your offer"?
marcie:   "thank you for considering me, i am pleased to accept your offer of
          xxxxx"
marcie:   "i look forward to working with/for/in spite of you"
marcie:   "sincerely, lia"
marcie:   or whatever.
marcie:   i bullshit so well.
Cyrano:   you need the word "jiggy" in there somewhere.
marcie:   well, i figured that goes without saying.
Cyrano:   "I hope that my extensive list of physical and mental abnormalities
          will fit in well with the general character of the department."
Lia:      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
marcie:   good enough ;)

				-- Lia weighing grad school options
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 April 2003

%%

ed:       word.. I had my dump
ed:       it was relaxing.
ed:       the monday morning dump is so critical
ed:       it usually makes or breaks the day, but, it can also set the tone
          for the week.
ed:       a clean launching can only mean one thing:
ed:       Trouble shall come knocking, but, thou shalt approach it with a
          happy colon.
marcie:   wow ed
marcie:   that's like... deep and shit
Vanyel:   chinese shit litany
ed:       yes
ed:       this is the power for a good monday morning shit.
ed:       clear thought.
marcie:   shit until your mind clears, and then, young grasshopper, you will
          have achieved enlightenment
Vanyel:   when your colon clears, your mind will follow.

				-- ed and his colon
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 April 2003


%%

sunbeam:  james won't play ping pong with me either
sunbeam:  he's just bitter because i kicked his ass 3 games in a row last
          night
marcie:   heheheh
sunbeam:  plus i beat him at air hockey
Vanyel:   ahahahah
Vanyel:   he sucks:)
sunbeam:  yeah he does
sunbeam:  last night was the first time I'd ever played air hockey, and who
          wold've known that I'm amazingly talented
marcie:   go sunners
sunbeam:  i knew i had a talent for something other than spelling

				-- sunbeam the talented one
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 April 2003

%%


sunbeam:  and i actually wrapped a watermelon fruit roll up around a green
          olive
marcie:   sunners
sunbeam:  hi toots
marcie:   you have surpassed my sister in the "weird pregnancy foods" category
marcie:   that's awesome
sunbeam:  i don't know what made me do it, but it was good

				-- sunbeam getting ready to pop
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 April 2003

%%

Cyrano:   enjoy the spiciness of the new Kia Cilantro.

				-- Cyrano thinking up car ads
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 April 2003

%%

Jim:      damned cdrom drive wont read my Windows ME cd.. and they say
          technology isnt smart..

				-- Jim with his smart computer
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 April 2003

%%

Cyrano:   what's wrong with gallons of battery acid?
Vanyel:   it's not very good for your skin

				-- Cyrano on a meth lab bust
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 April 2003

%%

ed:       all I know about jews I learned on southpark.

				-- ed learning about cultural diversity
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 April 2003

%%

ed:       I know where you are
ed:       "you are in a damp twisty cave."
Kestrel:  hahahahah
ed:       "There is a sign: Princesses Vagina"
cuinhell: HAHAHAHHAHAAAHAHHAHA
ed:       "There is an acrid smell."
Kestrel:  stop
Kestrel:  please
marcie:   ahaahahahahha
IGadget:  kes is begging for mercy?
ed:       "There appears to have been recent activity on the cave walls."
ed:       "The finger jabs at you."
Xi:       "judging by the small claw marks of untold tortured small animals"
ed:       "You dodge.."
ed:       "It misses."
Kestrel:  "there is a lantern here"
IGadget:  "there are multiple scrape marks  along the walls"
ed:       "You have been attacked by a small kobold."
Cyrano:   You see a set of keys on the ground here.
Cyrano:   >EXAMINE KEYS
Kestrel:  ferrte damnit
Cyrano:   They appear to be for an '86 Ford Bronco.
ed:       They have a rabbits foot keychain.
IGadget:  still attached to the rabbit
Cyrano:   now we can drive the truck out of here.
ed:       The floor of the cave begins to vibrate wildly.
cuinhell: !
cuinhell: RUN!
ed:       A large phallis is coming for you
ed:       you find a tunnel to the left
Kestrel:  that ain't spud then
ed:       you dive in blindly
ed:       the phallis misses you
Cyrano:   oh my sides
ed:       you have become mired in goo
marcie:   oh ugh.
ed:       you struggle
ed:       the goo has you
ed:       you struggle
ed:       the goo has you
Kestrel:  goddamnit
IGadget:  your attacked by blind tadpoles
marcie:   You are in danger of being eaten by a goo.
Kestrel:  ed
Cyrano:   >OPEN POCKET
Kestrel:  stop
Cyrano:   In your pocket you find a prybar and a gallon sized tub of KY Jelly.
marcie:   *snork*
ed:       and a cyanide capsule
IGadget:  hahaha
Kestrel:  I will get onto the lay off list for giggling uncontrollably
Cyrano:   I had tabasco go through my nose
ed:       BREAK OPEN CAPSULE
cuinhell: You hear the pathetic mewlings of a half-squished ferret.
ed:       the quivvering stops
Cyrano:   Oddly enough, the smell in the cave improves upon opening the
          ampoule.
ed:       you wrench yourself free with crowbar
ed:       you are now in the main tunnel
ed:       you feel pressure
cuinhell: A cancerous growth strikes at you!
Kestrel:  clamp down!!
ed:       a great wind has begun blowing
Cyrano:   trivia.
Kestrel:  hahahah
Vanyel farts
Vanyel:   sorry guys
Cyrano:   As you pass a turn, you see a set of initials carved into the cave:
Cyrano:   "<- A.S."
ed:       you grab onto an outcropping in the cave
Vanyel:   > Carve "S" on wall
Kestrel:  that's no outcropping
ed:       you flap uncontrollably in the breeze
ed:       you have been expelled from the cave
Cyrano:   You carve the word "elbereth" into the floor.
marcie:   y'all are so very very wrong
Kestrel:  "y'all"?? 
marcie:   not that i didn't just paste the entire exchange into the quotes
          file, mind you

				-- another adventure for the geeks
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 April 2003

%%

IGadget:  so what are the chances that we actually got sadam?
Jake:     who knows
Vanyel:   well
Vanyel:   see
Vanyel:   Iraq has this great thing
Sarge:    probably about the same as Bin Laden
IGadget:  its called video tape
Vanyel:   Redundant Array of Inexperienced Dictators
marcie:   ahahahahhahahaaha
Vanyel:   you knock out one
Vanyel:   and another hotspare lookalike takes his place
Vanyel:   the ugly one with the glasses is the hotspare	

				-- Vanyel with a theory
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 April 2003

%%

Zorro:    i have reached a new level of disturbedness thanks to en
marcie:   our job here is done.

				-- Zorro's corruption becomes complete
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 April 2003

%%

marcie:   5) swallow
marcie:   6) repeat

				-- marcie giving instructions on... something
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 April 2003

%%

Moni:     I want a roast suckling pig wiht an apple in it's mouth.
Vanyel:   i'll make sure slayer is available
Crazy:    you want Slayer?
Vanyel 5's crazy
Moni:     bwahahahaha
Crazy 5's Vanyel
marcie:   ahahahahhahahah
Slayer:   fuck yall

				-- Moni on her wedding reception
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 April 2003

%%

Vanyel:   oh lord
twinkie:  hallowed be thy name
Moni:     thy smoke be done
marcie:   they kingdom come
marcie:   ahahahahhahaha
marcie:   thy bowl be done
twinkie:  on earth as it is in heaven
marcie:   on earth as it is in berkeley.
Moni:     in my pants as it is in others.
marcie:   give us this day our daily smoke
Vanyel:   give me my daily vodka
marcie:   and lead us not into straightness, but deliver us from normalcy.
marcie:   for thine is the bud, and the smoke, and the ganja forever... amen.
marcie bows
Moni:     marcie rules again
Moni:     my brain isn't working fast enough
marcie:   that's me
Moni:     hmm..wonder why

				-- the geeks praying
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 April 2003

%%

ed:       dns is not voodoo
ed:       its been around long enough to seem like it
ed:       its like one of those thigns that nobody explains well
ed:       seems to me.
ed:       like midget porn
ed:       nobody can explain that sufficiently
ed:       and then you add midget bukakke to it..
Vanyel:   ..and do a zone transfer
Vanyel:   adn you have DNS
Vanyel:   tahts what dns is like
Vanyel:   midget bukakke
ed:       yes
Vanyel:   only you have zone files instead of midgets
ed:       midget bukakke/goldenshower is what DDNS is like.
saundo:   hrm, midget bukkake dns adventure game
ed:       if all of it takes place on a boat
ed:       then, you have midget+bukakke+goldenshower DDNS
saundo:   on-a-boat
ed:       in prince william sound
saundo:   coated in oil
Vanyel:   OIL SLICK SEAL PORN!
saundo:   YEAH
saundo:   sliding seals
saundo:   pre-lubed
ed:       only if Captain Hazelwood is also stroking it
ed:       and clubbing a baby seal with his swollen member
saundo:   Captain MorningWood
Vanyel:   ahahAHAHAHA
ed:       yes
Vanyel:   goddamn ed
ed:       hazelmorningwood
Vanyel:   ed:       only if Captain Hazelwood is also stroking it
Vanyel:   ed:       and clubbing a baby seal with his swollen member
saundo:   ahahahahahah
ed:       *then*
Vanyel:   i swear
ed:       you have DDNS
ed:       now..
Vanyel:   we gotta get ed on the airwaves
saundo:   *bam*splork*
ed:       if we want to get into ActiveDirectory + DNS
ed:       w're gonna have to bring in some backup for the midgets
saundo:   unhhhhh...UNNNNNH *crack*
ed:       AD + DDNS
saundo:   RAIM
saundo:   twice midgets for the price of one full-sized person
ed:       I b elieve the backup crew for that would be a pack of syphylltic
          redass tundra nomads from sibera.
Vanyel:   active directory is kinda like
saundo:   midget nomands
Vanyel:   a bunch of midgets sstanding on each others shoulders
Vanyel:   to be as tall as a regular person
ed:       all of which have their own reindeer testicle necklace
Vanyel:   each midget has a T-shirt with some info on it
ed:       and there is another midget, wearing a black executioners outfit
          that keeps clubing the midget at the bottom or the middle of the
          stack
saundo:   one testicle per necklace
saundo:   dude
saundo:   you're freaking me out
Vanyel:   ahahaha
ed looks innocently.
ed looks innocently around
ed:       ok
Vanyel ducks
ed:       I must go to the airport
saundo:   ahahahah
ed:       think I'll get strip searched?
*** ed is now known as ported
saundo:   you wish

				-- midgets and DNS
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 April 2003

%%

Moni:     'course..it's probably not a good idea to write a cover letter and
          fix a vitae for a chemical dependency therapist's position, while
          i"m drinking wine and smoking a bowl
marcie:   nonsense
marcie:   hypocrisy is a vital element of psychology
marcie:   ;)
Al:       hahahah
saundo:   it's the hypocritic oath, right?

				-- saundo the medical expert
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 April 2003

%%

JimDrink: fuckk im fucki i fuckingblleeding
JimDrink: goutrid t hit me un th ehad a bout 56 timrdx
Slayer:   what the fuck
JimDrink: jeez
cuinhell: whoa, he types like slay when he's drunk
cuinhell: or leo sober
Slayer:   who hit you?
Slayer:   ahahahahhaha

				-- Jim slightly inebriated
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 April 2003

%%

Moni:     I've decided that peanut M&M's are going to count as a protein
          source

				-- Moni on a diet
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 April 2003

%%

Vanyel:   well fuck
Lia:      not on command

				-- Lia asserting herself
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 April 2003

%%

IG_blah:  after being in here, you wonder why I cant interact with normal
          people?

				-- iGadget pleading for understanding
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 April 2003

%%

Zorro:    what's in il twink?
twinkie:  my sex exchange opertaion
Vanyel:   see why I love this woman?
Vanyel:   that was a joke, right?

				-- Vanyel getting a little worried
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 April 2003

%%

Xi:       its not every day you can offer a girl a chance to be in a skin flic
          with a camel and a bucket of guava

				-- Xi on a hot chick at work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 April 2003

%%

cuinhell: io saw a new raid last night
cuinhell: a handicapped person with an assistance dog
Kestrel:  they are probably rack mounted on his legs for deployment
cuinhell: had two of them in the car, only took one in store
cuinhell: redundant array of inexpensive dogs
Kestrel:  HAHAHAHHAH

				-- cuinhell going to training
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 March 2003

%%

marcie:   Your search - "death of a thousand cunts" - did not match any
          documents.
marcie:   damn you, google.
Jake:     google did not fail
Jake:     YOU failed google
Jake:     ;)
marcie:   damn me!
zf00d:    to hell
Cyrano:   hahahah
Cyrano:   damnit, that should be quoted somewhere
marcie:   as indeed it shall!

				-- there ya go, jamez
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 March 2003

%%

Zorro:    van. thaks for typing. you make me feel better -grin-
Vanyel:   no prob
Zorro:    heehee
ed:       hte ayw elo types is smothing to be porud fo

				-- ed on Vanyelitis
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 March 2003

%%

sunbeam:  i need to have my toesies painted
Slayer:   can i paint them in blood?
sunbeam:  uh that sounds horribly sick, but sure i guess
Slayer:   i love a girl willing to experiment

				-- Slayer experimenting
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 March 2003

%%

cuinhell: i'm imagining the horrors that a mini-series with characters based
          on personalities here could inflict...and smiling

				-- cuinhell on casting the EN mini-series
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 March 2003

%%

Slayer:   i don't know how much i can take it
Slayer:   <Sasquatch> gah that wasy gay
Slayer:   <Sasquatch> I bsod'd when I was asleep
Slayer:   first he puts down all homosexuals, then he, for whatever reason,
          puts an apostrophe in a past tense verb
Slayer:   or sh ould that have been homosexual's
Slayer:   and put's
Slayer:   maybe even pa'st
Vanyel:   goddamnit slay
Slayer:   yes?
Slayer:   ye's even
Slayer:   i'm going to macro the s key to be 's
Slayer:   should make logging into places fun
marcie:   that wa's lame.
Slayer:   you can 'say that again
marcie:   and i 'shall

				-- the king's and queen's of Engli'sh grammar
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 March 2003

%%

sunbeam:  james is obviously sick of living
sunbeam:  he just ate the last brownie and drank all the milk

				-- pregnant sunbeam on her boyfriend
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 March 2003

%%

marcie:   i named my vagina "flash" once, but i think i was drunk at the time

				-- marcie's pet names
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 March 2003

%%

Moni:     I have to do jury duty today
ed:       hmm
ed:       not if you show up smelling like you haven't bathed in a month
ed:       and you keep talking to the gnome that lives under your chair.
Moni:     I'm going to wear my "FUCK THE SYSTEM" t-shirt
ed:       the soiled maxipad stuck to the outside of your clothing is also
          useful.
Xi:       as is a shrunken head on you keychain
Kestrel:  offensive gas
Kestrel:  lots of it
Xi:       which you affectionately refer to as "bubba"
Moni:     I'm going to go and have a burrito for lunch
ed:       teeth/testicles on a chain around your neck.
Kestrel:  chemical attack on the court
Xi:       a good case of temporary verbalized tourettes is good as well
Kestrel:  lima beans, scrambled eggs and some raw onion/tomato salad
Xi:       sprig of brocolli stuck in yoru nostril
Sarge:    start chanting pro-war, pro-killing things and fill in the judge's
          name at times
Kestrel:  tell them it's no problem to serve but you will be channeling a 1880
          vintage sasquacth from 10am-3pm daily

				-- Moni getting advice on jury duty
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 March 2003

%%

Slayer:   i love watching porn that reflects real life
Slayer:   take this one for example
Slayer:   two girls sitting on bed in their undies putting on makeup.  then
          they fuck.
Slayer:   _just_ like real life
Slayer:   i know this because my male classmates used to discuss this 
Slayer:   and we were right.  here's proof.
marcie nods solemnly
marcie:   that's exactly how it happens.
marcie:   we didn't want to tell you before, but now that you know
Slayer:   i knew it
marcie:   the secrets of lesbian sex... revealed!

				-- Slayer finding out the big secret
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 March 2003

%%

Sarge pulls down his pants, for his own "Shock and Awe" attack..

				-- Sarge displaying his Patriot missile
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 March 2003

%%

Jake:     its not over yet?
ed:       apparently not
ed:       I just saw them interview some infantry col
ed:       they're thrusting towards baghdad
Jake:     THRUSTING
wob:      ed knows all about that
ed:       only if baghdad is akin to your ass

				-- ed on the Iraq War thingy
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 March 2003

%%

Courtney: hey, in myopinion menstrual week is blow job week
Courtney: that kid gets more than he deserves

				-- Courtho on her boyfriend
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 March 2003

%%

Zorro:    hmm
Zorro:    in theory
Zorro:    if i decapitate myself, my mouh will quit hurting
Zorro:    HMM

				-- Zorro contemplating extreme measures
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 March 2003

%%

Vanyel:   apparently, according to iraq, all those pictures of scores of tanks
          racing northward were fake.
Jake:     right...
Jake:     I did not know "denial" was a stage in modern warfare

				-- strategy in Gulf War II
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 March 2003

%%

Vanyel:   whatever my downstairs neighbors are cooking, it smells like rancid
          vagina

				-- Vanyel's neighbors
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 March 2003

%%

Xi:       now why didn't we send in reno
Xi:       just her
marcie:   YEAH
Vanyel:   heheheahahah
Xi:       nekkid
marcie:   COMMANDO BITCH
saundo:   some backdoor shenanigans are just what dubya ordered
saundo:   ahahahah
Xi:       the whole fucking middle east would run like hell
Vanyel:   actually
saundo:   naked reno with a bottle of oil and a 10" kong dong, and a mean look
          in her eye
Xi:       ABALHALBALLAHLABALHAL RENOOOOOO ABLHLAHLABALOBLAHLBALHALBLA
Xi:       *clickclickclick*
saundo:   ahahahahahahahahah

				-- Xi with a solution to the war
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 March 2003

%%

marcie:   goddammit
marcie:   every time i see dubya
marcie:   he looks like a retarded chimp
Vanyel:   ahahah
marcie:   EVERY FUCKING TIME
saundo:   you want to rape him with a table?
marcie:   look
Vanyel:   joy, rachel got a kick out of your snow pics
marcie:   at the front page of cnn.com
Xi:       he IS a retarded chimp
marcie:   right now
saundo:   or have his wife bend him over?
marcie:   it's his "i'm being really sincere" look
marcie:   but he still looks like a monkey with down's syndrome
Xi:       you know why he has that look right?
saundo:   "let's see you choke on a pretzel with it rammed up your ass, monkey
          boy!"
marcie:   he's passing gas?          
Xi:       he's droppin a load in his pamper at that very second
saundo:   ahahahah     
Vanyel:   ahahhehe
Vanyel:   yeah                
saundo:   a presidential game of Who Farted?
marcie:   HAHAHAHA
Xi:       Babs always wins that game
Xi:       just as vagina sr.
Xi:       commander in queef
Vanyel:   you know what I bet really happined
Vanyel:   some idiot on a navy boat
Soney:    it's his "this worked iwth mom and dad everytime" look
Vanyel:   sneezed
Vanyel:   and hit th efire button prematurely
saundo:   "My fellow Americans - 30 minutes ago, Saddaym Hooosayn refused to
          pull my finger. This caused a gas build up in my colon, and so the
          UN security councils inability to act has made me fart,
saundo:   gamble and lose"
saundo:   "My shorts are full of presidential poop, and therefore I have
          ordered a strike against this evil bastard in the hopes that I can
          get mom to do a laundry before the shit really hits the fans
saundo:   good night, and god bless you all, and wipe front to back, people,
          FRONT TO BACK!"
Xi:       "My fellow Americans - did you see the look on their faces when that
          shit went and blowed up? WEEEEE DAWGIES!  I ain't seen nothin' like
          that since paw shawt him a barrr"
Vanyel:   ahhahhehehe
Vanyel:   i love you guys

				-- come get us, FBI motherfuckers
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 March 2003

%%

saundo:   my fewllow americans, yip yip yip yip. yip yip yip yip. yours
          sincerely, George W Bush
Vanyel:   ahehehe
saundo:   P.S. I want an aircraft carrier named after me

				-- saundo on the president's war speech
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 March 2003

%%

ed:       I had a homosexual dream once
ed:       I woke up in the middle with a start
ed:       "WTF just fucking happened?"
ed:       I looked down, saw the wood was halfway there, decided to
          finish it off anyway.
ed:       no need to waste good wood

				-- ed being eminently practical
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 March 2003

%%

Moni:     leather transgendered midget rabbi in crotchless chaps, leather vest
          and nipples exposed
Moni:     my mother will be so proud

				-- Moni on the officiant for her wedding
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 March 2003

%%

Manuka:   hmm. altoids. {spear|pepper}mint, or wintergreen?
saundo:   er, ass
Moni:     ASS
Moni:     elope
Moni:     peppermint is better or BJ"s
Moni:     for
Moni:     so, if you have a date with wob...
saundo makes a note

				-- saundo getting sex tips
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 March 2003

%%

Moni:     phone ringing...can't find the fucking phone
Xi:       answer a shoe, its all the same

				-- Xi helping Moni out
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 March 2003

%%

Moni:     yes,,,ut stiels rudl heive ahrnding
marcie falls over laughing
Moni:     it made snese to me

				-- Moni speaking in tongues
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 March 2003

%%

Moni:     can't find eingnesslessbbs.org
Moni:     hm
Moni:     wonder why?
marcie:   bahahahah
Zorro:    snicker
marcie:   cut & paste, moni, cut & paste

				-- Moni still smoking non-illegal substances
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 March 2003

%%

Moni:     smoken radishes
saundo:   ahahahah
Moni:     oh
Moni:     I have jellybeans
saundo:   how do you keep them lit?
saundo:   UH oh
saundo double takes
Moni:     with the sparks from my vibrator
saundo:   ahahahaha
Al:       *koff*
Moni:     vroomvroom
saundo:   ahahahahaha
Vanyel:   aahahAHAHAHAHAH
saundo:   it be one of them steam driven vibes
Moni:     I should call the gf and blow smoke into the phone
saundo:   don't ask, don't smell

				-- Moni smoking nothing illegal at all, nosir
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 March 2003

%%

wob:      one of the techs is up on the roof shoveling snow
saundo:   ahahahah
wob:      half our wireless antennas are buried ;)

				-- wob during the blizzard
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 March 2003

%%

Kestrel:  I think he got promoted from luser to fuckstick in this last job
          change

				-- Kestrel on someone unknown
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 March 2003

%%

Vanyel:   you arent a good test engineer until you can get snow to catch fire.
Kestrel:  not a problem
Kestrel:  LOX is my friend

				-- Kestrel the good test engineer
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 March 2003

%%

Xi:       i need to get you a contracting gig to come here and teach the
          monkeys
ed:       hmmm.
Xi:       reflexive acls have them baffled, much like penguins and a laser

				-- Xi's monkeys need training
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 March 2003

%%

ed strokes leo's tubesteak
Vanyel kicks ed in his beernuts
marcie:   aw, they like each other
Xi:       mating rituals of the admin, tonight on the discovery channel

				-- a new TV show
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 March 2003

%%

IGadget:  I was about to ask if you had to do anything funky in outlook setup
          but then I realied the whole process is funky
		
				-- IGadget achieving enlightenment
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 March 2003

%%

marcie:   cyn, to the dog: "corky, SHUT UP!" (to me) "god, she needs a life."
marcie:   me: "....uh."
Vanyel:   ahahahah
marcie:   i love my wife
marcie:   truly indeed :)

				-- marcie the loving spouse
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 March 2003

%%

Hawkman:  i'd like to see wob have sex with yoda

				-- Hawkman with a dream
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 March 2003

%%

ed:       advanced notice
ed:       makes you want to go set fire to something, eh marcie
marcie:   china: the college is laying people off
Vanyel:   "Hey, guess what! you can go to teh bar and drink a lot for st.
          patty';s day!  btw, don't come back. here's your severence."
ed:       I *know* you don't have the balls.
marcie:   ed: for some reason, that sounds likea  good idea
marcie:   know
marcie:   erm
marcie:   god
marcie:   no.
ed:       you just have the squishy man meat substitute
marcie:   ahahaha
marcie:   i want no balls
marcie:   nothing that vulnerable where someone can kick me
ed:       if you had balls you could do really cool shit
ed:       like start a war
marcie:   ahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA
Vanyel:   yeah
ed:       or flip your car 18times end over end
Vanyel:   war.
marcie:   i love you ed
ed:       with a blood alcohol level of .25
Vanyel:   i cant believe thsi country supports war so much
ed:       or have season tickets to a nascar event
marcie:   hmm, sounds like someone we know
marcie:   NAHHHH
ed:       beat your wife
marcie:   *snork* she'd kill me
ed:       be an exceptoin to the "no shirt not shoes" rule 
ed:       see
marcie:   damn
ed:       having a cock-n-balls has all this fuckin extra cool baggage
marcie:   all this i'mm missing cause i don't have balls!
marcie:   well dammit, i'm gonna order a set!

				-- marcie preparing for life change
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 March 2003

%%

cuinhell: 12 days with no james
cuinhell: no wonder we are cracking around the edges
cuinhell: QUICK!  someone set a cat on fire!
cuinhell: or zorro!

				-- cuinhell having a hard time
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 March 2003

%%

saundo:   a bottle of wine, EN and thou

				-- saundo being romantic
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 March 2003

%%

Moni:     we need an EN Porn movie
marcie:   never mind training.
marcie:   oh jesus
marcie:   how scary would that be
Zorro:    OH GOD NO
Xi:       now that would be twisted
cuinhell: good lord no, moni
Zorro:    please, no
Moni:     heh
DontKnow: 90% of the EN porn movie would be guys jacking off.
*Vanyel* ahahAHAHAH
cuinhell: even i have a line that I won't cross
cuinhell: it's pretty far down there in the dirt
cuinhell: but I hav eone
Zorro:    nod
Moni:     it would be pretty Ass focused
cuinhell: en scat porn
cuinhell: with midgets flinging feces
Xi:       ARGH!
marcie:   MIDGETS!
marcie:   and guinness
Xi:       stop that
cuinhell: careful xi
marcie:   and saundo directing all the midgets
marcie:   "okay, you with the baby oil, over here"
Moni:     saundo's a big guy
Xi:       feels like a meating at work
cuinhell: i have plenty of time to rig a feces flinging midget under your desk
          tonight
marcie:   "no, no, get off my leg, you little bugger"
Moni:     he's have to be careful not to step on them
Moni:     leg humping midgets
Xi:       ankle humping midgets
marcie:   *squish* "ah, dammit! someone call SAG and get a replacement
          midget!"
cuinhell: no
Moni:     midget jizz
cuinhell: SSAG
Xi:       STUNT MIDGET
Moni:     slippery stuff
cuinhell: not SAG ;)
Moni:     SAG is for older female midgets
Vanyel:   LICENSE ENFORCEMENT MIDGETS
cuinhell: that's a MS product, leo
Xi:       hmmm
cuinhell: don't speak it's name 3 times aloud
marcie:   MidgetWare
Moni:     MidgetAssWare
Moni:     MAW
marcie:   too freudian
Moni:     well...ya..I'm a fucking psychologist!
cuinhell: ...
marcie:   oh yeah!
Moni:     heh
cuinhell: i want that kind of therapy
Xi:       lubricated midget bowling on slip-n-slides
marcie gives moni a long, slow massage, WITHOUT midgets
Moni:     mmm..fucking therapy
Moni:     oh yes..no massage midgets
cuinhell: they could wear little corsets with handles in the back for easier
          throwing
Moni:     bwahah cu
Xi:       wait for it
Xi:       MIDGET CURLING!
cuinhell: !
marcie:   HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
Moni:     hehehehehe
cuinhell: we are all going to a hell full of short demons when we die
Zorro:    indeed
Moni:     short demons with little juzzing penises and asses with anal leakage
cuinhell: ,,,
Moni:     and Yani
Zorro:    the chick is on again van. on comedy central
Vanyel:   jizzing ponies?
marcie:   we are a bunch of sick fucking bastards
cuinhell: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Vanyel:   what the fuck?
cuinhell repents
marcie:   i have tears from laughing so hard
Vanyel:   oh wait i cant read
Moni:     Jizzing ponies would be really messy
Zorro:    yuck
Zorro:    yuckyuckyuck
cuinhell: mini jizzing poines i'd omagine
cuinhell: imagine
Xi:       ponies fucking john tesh
cuinhell: for our hell
Xi:       while he sings
cuinhell: to hell with that
Moni:     drown the midgets in pony jizz
cuinhell: ponies doing john tesh karaoke
marcie:   imagine
marcie:   a midget john tesh.
marcie:   with a little schroeder piano.
cuinhell: GAHAHHAHA
Xi:       HEHEHEHEHEHE
Moni:     i'm gonna throw up
marcie:   but of course
marcie:   he'd have to release his albums
cuinhell: playing the charlie brown theme
Xi:       ...naked
marcie:   ....
marcie:   on mini-disc!
Vanyel:   i hate you guys
cuinhell: he'd have a little tiny blankie too
marcie:   NO REGULAR CDs FOR YOU!
marcie:   NO, MINI-TESH!
cuinhell: stained with shit and blood and midget jizz
Zorro:    i feel so dirrty
Moni:     GF done with her porno now.
marcie:   awesome
Moni:     problem is, i"m laughing to hard to talk with her
cuinhell: how was it?
marcie:   she's primed now
marcie:   finish her off
Moni:     how to explain what I"m laughing about
Moni:     ....
cuinhell: AHHAHAA
cuinhell: MUWAHAHAH
Vanyel:   two words
marcie:   "let me explain. ...no, is too much. let me sum up."
cuinhell: GF's and EN just don't splice
Vanyel:   pnoy jizz
Vanyel:   pony even
Moni:     midgets, pony jizz, hell and ass
marcie:   i'm having the same problem over here exlpaining to cyn why i have
          tears from laughing so much
Vanyel:   ahahehehe
Vanyel:   put her on for a second
marcie:   i'm trying to explain the midget thing
Vanyel:   LICENSE ENFORCEMENT MIDGETS
Vanyel:   actually for cyn
marcie:   "tactial midgets! tossing midgets!"
cuinhell: dakmmit leo
marcie:   "...okay, honey."
cuinhell: if you say that one more time they will FIND you
Vanyel:   it would be fillet of frog midgets
Vanyel:   LICENSE
Vanyel:   ....ENFORCEMENT
*** Xi is now known as xi-afk
Vanyel:   .....MIDGETS
marcie:   MIDGETS!
cuinhell: leo is toast

				-- midget EN John Tesh enforcement pr0n!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 March 2003

%%

Vanyel:   my ass is better
Vanyel:   just ask moni
Jesus:    i can't take this
Jesus:    i feel dirty

				-- Jesus ascending away from the debauchery
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 March 2003

%%

Zorro:    jesus
Xi:       yes my little lambfucker?

				-- Xi playing God
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 March 2003

%%

taco:     what's phone sex without elephants?

				-- taco worrying us all
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 March 2003

%%

Moni:     penises need love too

				-- Moni being generous
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 March 2003

%%

Xi:       you know, i've said it before and i'll say it again
Xi:       lesbian fucking rule
marcie:   yes
Xi:       and you can take that both ways.

				-- Xi admiring the resident lesbians
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 March 2003

%%

firl:     i am creating a list of things my co-workers don't know/haven't
          heard of.
Slayer:   ask her if she's heard of german snowballing
Slayer:   and if not, if she wants to learn
firl:     i work with boys
Slayer:   i'm not picky
firl:     fair enough
firl:     they're not either.
Slayer:   i'll be right over

				-- Slayer educating firl's cow-orkers
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 March 2003

%%

barnabas: I tried you teach your mom how to play swallow the horse-cock
          sandwich but she couldn't get her dentures out
wob:      i thought fags didnt dig on grannies
Slayer:   that's weird.  she usually has no trouble handling soda straws.
barnabas: that's because she's used to playing with you

				-- barnabas and Slay share the luv
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 March 2003

%%

Slayer:   i tried to teach my mom to play magic once
Slayer:   didn't exactly work
Slayer:   at least she had fun with it.  she kept saying "gin" or laying down
          "straights" and trying to take tricks
marcie:   ahahahahhahahahhahah

				-- Slay's mom the card shark
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 March 2003

%%

Al:       never look a gorilla in the eye. that's a sign of aggression to them
cuinhell: expecially if you are holding a jar of vaseline and a 18" dildo
	
				-- Al with advice on primates
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 March 2003

%%

K sprinkles sand in everone's vagina
marcie:   van! why didn't you tell me you had a vagina
marcie seduces van
Vanyel:   i'm not going to say different
Vanyel:   till you find out for yourself
marcie:   tease
Vanyel:   that really IS a vagina
Vanyel:   its just an extremely large clit
marcie:   ahahah
Vanyel:   and I have a pubic mound larger than most women
Slayer:   this is the most digusting thing i've ever read
Vanyel:   thanks slay
marcie:   ahahahahahahahah
Vanyel bows
Slayer:   i loaded up on christina aguilera and shakira pictures before work
          and now you've ruined it

				-- Vanyel's vagina
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 March 2003

%%

Zorro:    whenever your govermant starts rename fried potatos, be WORRIED that
          they are truly un prepared for real trouble

				-- Zorro on "freedom fries"
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 March 2003

%%

ed:       drop a fork in it
marcie:   ahahah
ed:       claim lightning
ed:       turn it in on your renters insurance
marcie:   there ya go
ed:       use it to perform some ungodly sex act, take pictures of it
ed:       sell it on ebay
ed:       people will buy panties
ed:       why not a  computer covered in feces and jizz and goathair

				-- ed on how to get free PC repair
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 March 2003

%%

Vanyel:   goddamnit
Vanyel:   being sick sucks.
Vanyel:   being sick at work sucks more
Vanyel:   beign sick at work with the vp from heck 
Vanyel:   well
Vanyel:   new records are being established

				-- Vanyel striving for excellence
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 March 2003

%%

Xi:       I'm not sure who turned on the "fuck with me" switch today but when
          I find them, I'm going to tear their flesh from their body with a
          dull-toothed lawn mole

				-- Xi having a bad day
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 March 2003

%%

marcie:   ARGH
marcie:   explaining command-line ftp to a manager
showered: hahaha
showered: down not across
Vanyel:   aw shit
Zorro:    um
marcie:   no shit man
marcie:   geeesus h fuckstick
marcie:   talk about walking someone through at a base fucking level
Zorro:    hahaha
marcie:   "okay, go to 'start' and hit 'run'... no, that's the button on YOUR
	  pc, not on the remote server..."
Zorro:    hehe
Vanyel:   ok, bang your head agaisnt your desk.  what? you see stars? do it
          again. it appears your IE has crashed.
marcie:   ahahahahahahah
Vanyel:   no, teh blood against your forehead is normal. its kind of like
          windows' progress bar

				-- marcie having a bad luser day
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 March 2003

%%

Vanyel:   it scares phone salesmen when you start talking like gollum when you
          answer the phone

				-- Vanyel with a tip on vendor relations
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 March 2003

%%

Slayer:   so my cat's buggin for some food and i look and she's got at least
          1/4 bowl
Slayer:   and i'm like "you've GOT food.  there are starving cats in china who
          would love to have that."
Slayer:   then it hit me that cats don't starve in china. they get eaten.
marcie:   words of wisdom, indeed.

				-- Slayer shares a profound insight
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 March 2003

%%

Moni:     mmm..I have fresh organic raspberries for breakfast
Moni:     amazing
marcie swirls the raspberries in melted godiva chocolate and feeds them to
          moni while a gay cabana boy fans her with palm fronds
Slayer:   wow
marcie:   jealous? ;)
Slayer:   in every possible way
marcie:   heheh

				-- Slayer the jealous
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 March 2003

%%

Zorro:    still got that duck?
querk:    duck?
Zorro:    ... didn't you get a duck a few years back?
querk:    OH!
querk:    My dog imprinted on the duck and then that duck tried to make
          friends with our neighbors doberman
Zorro:    oh
marcie:   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
querk:    beak and feathers was all that remained

				-- querk's tragic past
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 March 2003

%%

cuinhell: leo is going to isreal to learn how to be a suicide bomber
IG_afk:   practice makes perfect
Vanyel:   no, i'd go to the palestianian territory to learn to be a suicide
          bomber
IG_afk:   or you could goto iraq and be a target
Vanyel:   i'd rather be a suicide bomber
IG_afk:   well both ways you go out with a bang

				-- Vanyel considering career options
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 March 2003

%%

Vanyel:   FUCKING WINDOWSOQWeurioweyfasdfheiowquhklfjhsaigusdg
marcie:   yes
marcie:   aren't you glad you use mac?
marcie:   don't you wish everybody did?
saundo:   it booted by osmosis
Vanyel:   god
Vanyel:   yes.
Vanyel:   at least when teh mac fucks up, its pretty

				-- Vanyel the mac addict
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 March 2003

%%

cuinhell: ALALALBALALALALA UNGA BOK BOK BOK DERPA

				-- cuinhell the inimitable
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 March 2003

%%

cuinhell locks vanyel in a room with 16 siebel consultants and one chain saw
Vanyel:   does the chainsaw have gas in it?
cuinhell: (YOU have the chain saw)
cuinhell: yes
cuinhell: it's running
Vanyel:   ok
Vanyel:   tahts not much of a challenge
Vanyel:   one other question
cuinhell: and it's big enough that bone won't cause it to seize up
Vanyel:   does the room i'm locked in have regular janatorial service?
cuinhell: no, but it's princess's bedroom
Vanyel:   hrm
Xi:       so it has zombie ferrets?
Vanyel:   can i get extra gas?

				-- Vanyel being tested
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 March 2003

%%

Xi:       brain not working
cuinhell: hehe
marcie:   brain? what is brain?
Vanyel:   ham
marcie:   ah
marcie:   that explains everything.

				-- marcie the spam-head
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 March 2003

%%

Vanyel:   i think i'm gonna go home and idlly masturbate
Vanyel:   i'm working on my target practice
Vanyel:   I wanna be able to change the channel without a remote

				-- Vanyel with a goal
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 March 2003

%%

Kesticle: you people have ruined me
cuinhell: awesome
Kesticle: guy walks up to my cube and says "the analog output channel says
it's congested" and without looking up I say "metamucil"...
cuinhell: HAHAHAHA
Kesticle: that is a direct cu-ism... it's YOUR fault
cuinhell: awesome, don't get laid off because you are channeling me at work
cuinhell: ;P
Kesticle: it's a real possibility
Kesticle: "does not play well with others" kinda fits
Kesticle: and don't EVEN get me started on the warpage marcie has caused
cuinhell: yah
cuinhell: marcie is the devil
cuinhell: the GOOD kind of devil
Kesticle: she-devil
cuinhell: SCK ROSEANNE!
cuinhell: er AC
Kesticle: she devil daughter of sapho, here my call
Kesticle: hear too
Kesticle: or here
Kesticle: we can party
IG_afk:   DC
Kesticle: for tomorrow we die
marcie quietly channels satan
Xi:       marcie has satan in her pants!
marcie:   you know it

				-- Kestrel being corrupted
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 March 2003

%%

saundo:   marzie
marcie:   zaundo
saundo coats marcie in chocolate
saundo:   i'm back to making my marcie graven idols
marcie:   WOO
marcie:   you big tease
saundo:   I know
saundo:   i'm such a tease
saundo:   however
marcie:   yes
marcie:   yes you are
saundo:   i can at least have a little piece of marcie to melt in my navel
*** zag has entered room 'Main'
saundo:   and make a little navel plug
marcie:   that's so sweet.
saundo:   to sell to the masses as a little piece o' holy marcie
Xi:       can we make a shrine from her pieces
saundo:   i could put it into plastic to hand around the neck
marcie:   yes
marcie:   you can sell marcie indulgences
saundo:   or grind it up to put on top of the holy whipped cream and banana
          nut sundae
saundo:   yes
saundo:   marcie indulgences
marcie:   "for the right price, she'll indulge you AND your girlfriend"
ZDailySh: whoa
ZDailySh: what marcie?
ZDailySh: heh
marcie:   this marcie
saundo:   for the bargain price of $100/hr, she'll indulge you and a female
          friend
marcie:   <--
ZDailySh: that got my attention
marcie:   *sprroooiiiing*
saundo:   twice the hey-hey and all the chocolate
marcie:   damn skippy
saundo:   and we won't even mention the entire lack of nuts
saundo:   for want of a better term
marcie:   but that goes without saying, really
saundo:   but i said it
saundo:   oh i give up
marcie:   yes
marcie:   you certainly did
marcie:   aw nuts!
marcie slaps her knee
marcie:   i am so clever
saundo punts marcie
saundo:   bad pun hour was 3 hours ago
marcie:   aww, you really DO love me
saundo:   when lia came and went
marcie:   and my beer too
saundo:   I do
saundo:   as many times a night as I can
saundo:   oooh
saundo:   beer
marcie:   woop
marcie:   yes, zaundo
marcie:   beer
saundo:   mmmmm
saundo:   beer
marcie passes saundo a Laughing Lab
zag:      mmm
saundo:   pour it down my pants
zag:      beer
saundo:   I'll pretend to be an elephant
marcie pours it all over zag
marcie:   oops
marcie:   missed
saundo:   ahahahah
zag:      oh no
saundo:   and you pretend to be a beer flinging chimp
zag:      now i have beer all over me
Cerberus: keep yer nose away from me, elephant breath
marcie:   do forgive me and allow me to lick it off, zag
marcie:   i must keep you clean
saundo:   aaah ooh uggg aaah *fling fling*
saundo:   ahahahahah
saundo:   you know marcie
zag:      yes you must
saundo:   that's what I love abou tyou
*** Cerberus has left the room
saundo:   always thinking of others
marcie:   what
marcie:   my lack of decorum?
saundo:   never about yourself
marcie:   oh yes, well, that too
saundo:   (that too)
saundo:   simply offering yourself selflessly to lick beer off women
marcie:   yes
marcie:   it's true
marcie:   it's a tough job
saundo sniffs
marcie:   but someone has to do it!
saundo:   that's just so... dyke
saundo:   yes
marcie:   i willingly sacrifice my tongue for the cause.
saundo:   and that someone is you
saundo:   ahahahah
zag:      hey, i'm not complaining
saundo:   a noble cause at that
marcie:   indeed yes

				-- marcie the philanthropist
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 March 2003

%%

Cerberus: "If I don't know who you are, you have a better chance of fucking
          Claudia Schiffer than of me picking up this phone. Go away." *BEEP*
Cerberus: ^^ answering machine message from heaven.

				-- Cerb with a dream
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 March 2003

%%

Vanyel:   my nuts are moldy

				-- Vanyel with personal problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 March 2003

%%

Megs:     leo, what's wrong?
Vanyel:   i'm an exchange administrator.
Vanyel:   thats bad enough
Vanyel:   but whats worse:
firl:     (and that's his first mistake)
Vanyel:   I'm REALLY GOOD at it.
Vanyel:   its like admitting you were seen on market street with a 75 year old
          hooker with a crack habit and 4 kids
ed:       hmmm.
ed:       seenwith-caught 6 inches into..
ed:       with one of her kids giving you a rimjob
Vanyel:   basically
Vanyel:   outlook web access is the rimjob
cuinhell: yes it is
Megs:     blah
Xi:       RIMJOB
Megs:     hey xi
ed:       what is it when the 2nd kid (a male) is also tonguing your bag while
          shoving his finger up his moms ass?
Vanyel:   thats owa on an unprotected net

				-- Vanyel, full of shame
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 March 2003

%%

Slayer:   5 bucks a a blowjob to whomever can find the lyrics to "call me
          alice" by rasputina first
Vanyel:   awesome

				-- Vanyel getting excited
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 March 2003

%%

Zorro:    keep a knife on hand. you can wittle when nervous or murder people

				-- Zorro with tips on quitting smoking
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 February 2003

%%

Zorro:    i need a new wheelchair
Zorro:    one that goes 80mph 
Zorro:    and has those gripping rail thingies like tanks have
Zorro:    and some .50 guns
Zorro:    and strippers
Zorro:    and a mp3 player and full stereo
Zorro:    hmm
Zorro:    oh and i want it to elivate upto like 20 floores

				-- Zorro with a dream
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 February 2003

%%

ed:       dilbert has to be watered down to be believable.

				-- ed on corporate America
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 February 2003

%%

Xi:       like all our NT|UNIX admins, they don't see the big picture
Xi:       the can't logically follow a connection from their ass to a toilet
          seat

				-- Xi complaining about work
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 February 2003

%%

Kestrel:  engineering is where it's at baby
Courtney: hahaha
Courtney: most of my friends are engineers
Courtney: my dad is an engineer
Kestrel:  I'm sorry
Courtney: hehe
Courtney: they are bigger nerds thjan me
Kestrel:  you DO know the advantages though...
Courtney: what's that?
Kestrel:  they are perfectionists, always striving to improve the performance
          of any given thing
marcafk:  IT GETS YOU HOT CHICKS
Kestrel:  they study cause and effect
*** marcafk is now known as marcie
Kestrel:  they apply the lessons learned toimprove the process and product
Courtney: hahaha
Courtney: I see where this is going
Kestrel:  now, imagine that applied to sex
marcie:   yaeh
marcie:   like i said.

				-- Kestrel counseling Court on career choices
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 February 2003

%%

cuinhell: we should develop and sell clear shoes
cuinhell: we'd make a killing
cuinhell: molded from clear gel
marcie:   and socks to go along with them
cuinhell: yes
marcie:   with designs on them
cuinhell: HAHA
marcie:   little american flags on the toes
marcie:   "see, i'm not a terrorist! please let me through, mr security man!"
ed:       shit
cuinhell: i'm thinking the corporate logo would be a little bomb inside a red
          circle with a slash through it
ed:       with a little middle finger pointing up
marcie:   "I <heart> DUBYA"
ed:       I <heart> asscroft
ed:       or
marcie:   a little towel with a circle-slash
cuinhell: yes
ed:       a little circle with a towelhead on it with a circle through the
          towel
marcie:   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
ed:       hahahahahah
cuinhell: scary
ed:       great minds
ed:       sick minds
marcie:   and ours too

				-- the crew with a marketable idea
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 February 2003

%%

Cyrano:   and they tried to incinerate my bags
meg:      james
cuinhell: JAMES
marcie:   doh!
Cyrano:   failed the damn explosives swab test
meg:      smaje
cuinhell: hahahah james
marcie:   ahahaha
ed:       hahahahahaha
Vanyel:   AHAHAHAHAH
Vanyel:   oh shit!
marcie:   only you, man, only you
meg:      AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Vanyel:   i didnt hear this!
Cyrano:   and no, I have absolutely no idea
meg:      HAHAHAHAHA JKAMES
cuinhell: liar ;P
Cyrano:   and then
Cyrano:   AND THEN
Vanyel:   so besides getting your baggage almost exploded
Cyrano:   I get to the gate
Vanyel:   oh there's more!
Cyrano:   with about 4 minutes to takeoff
marcie:   oh man
marcie:   there's more?
Cyrano:   and
Cyrano:   surprise, surprise
Cyrano:   another "random" check
marcie:   ahahaha
cuinhell: man, you got the unabomber look or something?
Vanyel:   you WERENT carryuing any explosives, were you?
Cyrano:   hell no
Vanyel:   wow
Cyrano:   I haven't even _played_ with explosives since the 4th of july last
          year

				-- Cyrano getting through airport security
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 February 2003 

%%

marcie:   here's where i insult saundo.
marcie points at saundo and says, "gordon elliott!"
marcie runs
saundo tackles marcie
saundo:   ok
saundo:   and now I drown you inside the "it's a small world" ride at disney
          world
marcie:   NO
marcie:   ANYTHING BUT THAT
saundo:   so your last choking view is of the satanic children laughing at you
Zorro:    damn 
Al:       it's a world of laughter a world of tears
Xi:       ITS A SMALL WORLD AFTER *COUGHGLUBGLUBLGLUB*
Al:       a world of hopes and a world of fears
saundo:   never let it be said that I am not cruel and unusual
marcie:   it figures al would know the damn words
Al:       HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

				-- marcie being tortured
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 February 2003

%%

Al:       DRILLDO!
marcafk:  weirdo.
Zorro:    uh oh

				-- beat poetry on EN
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 February 2003

%%

Xi:       just watch what you put in her tea.  she's known to wield atlatls
Zorro:    nod
DontKnow: she's getting better at them too
Vanyel:   can she actually hit things?
DontKnow: depends on how big the thing is. and how fast it moves.
Lia:      yes
DontKnow: but yes she can hit things.
Zorro:    hmm
Vanyel:   could you hit a gnats balls at 20 yards?
DontKnow hides his scars.          

				-- DK being careful
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 February 2003

%%

Vanyel:   oh my god
saundo:   ??
Vanyel:   the water coming out of the faucet
Vanyel:   is BROWN
saundo:   mmmmm
marcie:   ugh.
saundo:   crunchy
marcie:   time to move out of cali.
saundo:   like water isn't supposed to be
saundo:   bottle it and call it "Leo's Wicked Brown ALe"
marcie:   ahahahaha
Vanyel:   nah
Vanyel:   i'd just shit into a bottle then
saundo:   no
saundo:   that's the stout
Vanyel:   nothing liek starting a bath
marcie:   no, that's the stout
Vanyel:   and seeing a brown tub
marcie:   ahhhaha
saundo:   AHAHHAHAHAHA
marcie:   goddamn, lag sucks
saundo:   Vanyel:   i'd just shit into a bottle then
marcie:   otherwise i would have been first!
saundo:   saundo:   that's the stout
saundo:   marcie:   no, that's the stout
Al:       "no, that's the stout"
Al falls OUT
saundo:   ahahaha
marcie:   :D
Vanyel:   goddamnit
marcie:   rock and roll.
saundo:   You're drinking, it just seems like there's lag
marcie:   oh YEAH

				-- Leo's homebrew
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 February 2003

%%

Vanyel:   goddamn
Vanyel:   when I yawn
Vanyel:   I look like a screeching owl
marcie:   *spurt*
marcie:   goddamn you leo
marcie:   that's the second time i've spit beer on my monitor
Al:       hahaha
saundo:   how do you know? don't you scrunch your eyes shut when you yawn?
Vanyel:   oh
Vanyel:   for a second i though tyou came
saundo:   ahahahah
Al:       hahahah
marcie:   ahahahah
saundo:   raging bull, to marcie's panties, RAGING BULL to Marcie's panties!
marcie:   ginchGinchGINCH

				-- marcie having problems
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 February 2003

%%

Xi:       come on green elixir of Q-ness.  PUT ME DOWN
*** saundo has been disconnected
marcie:   wrong user
Xi:       damnit
marcie:   now look what you did.
Xi:       watch out
Xi:       misdirected Q of Power maybe be coming for ... YOU!
*** Courtney is now known as cqafk
marcie:   see?

				-- Xi warns of his secret powers
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 February 2003

%%

Xi:       hmmm
Xi:       i am undecided on oceans 11
Xi:       it seems amusing
Xi:       yet, somehow, I really really want to see clooney get hit by a truck
Xi:       someone needs to remake this as a porn flick
marcie:   heheh
Xi:       oceans 11 inches
marcie:   ocean's 11 inches
marcie:   HAHAHAHAHAH
Xi:       whoa
Vanyel:   oh jesus
Vanyel:   thats scary
marcie:   we scare me
Xi:       yes

				-- EN goes to the movies
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 February 2003

%%

marcie:   Folder "sparm" in <IMAP folders> doesn't exist. Create?  
marcie:   argh.
marcie:   i have vanyelitis.
Xi:       SPARM!
Vanyel:   ahahahaha
Xi:       uh oh
Xi:       its spreading

				-- it came from Vanyel
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 February 2003

%%

Zorro:    one day im gonna know what you guys are blabbing about
Zorro:    i'll probably be in the corner, watching in spirit form
Zorro:    but i'l get it

				-- Zorro trying to catch up
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 February 2003

%%

Jake:     canadiens are stupid
Courtney: hahaha
Courtney: americans are even moreso
Courtney: :)
Jake:     yeah but
Jake:     we kill a whole lot faster

				-- Jake the patriot
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 February 2003

%%

Zorro:    god i wnna spell one day

				-- Zorro with a dream
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 February 2003

%%

Vanyel:   i wonder how long auggie was down for
marcie:   who cares
Al:       did you need to unplug it so there'd be space for the cappucino
          maker?
marcie:   hahahahahahahaha
marcie:   our concern for auggie's fate overwhelms me
Al:       gotta have your priorities straight ya know
marcie:   damn skippy
[2 hours later...]
Cyrano:   flob
Cyrano:   auggie was down?
Cyrano:   did leo need a doorstop or something?

				-- everyone loves Auggie!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 February 2003

%%

marcie:   From: luseradmin
marcie:   Subject: Internet Service
marcie:   The internet seems to be back up.
marcie:   thanks,
marcie:   luseradmin
marcie:   .....
marcie:   i... just...
marcie:   never mind.
Zorro:    jhaha
marcie:   just... never mind.
Xi:       reply to all
ed:       hly shit
marcie:   i won't even start.
Kestrel:  SNORK
ed:       no
marcie:   best part
ed:       that guy mailed the admin list
ed:       oh
ed:       oh god
ed:       oh
ed:       oh god
marcie:   he's the network guy.
ed:       who is fuckin luser
ed:       who is this fuck
Xi:       ed's gonna pop
Moni chuckles
ed:       does he like pr0n spam
Xi:       he does now
Zorro:    rofl

				-- ed getting twitchy over stupidity
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 February 2003 

%%

Cyrano:   parenthood teaches you to not fear death.
Cyrano:   you know that part of sleeping beauty where she "fell into a deep
          cold sleep that lasted a hundred years"?
Cyrano:   that's the GOOD part of the story now.

				-- Cyrano on his beloved progeny
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 February 2003

%%

Moni:     I'd marry leo if he wore leather pants
Kestrel:  love that

				-- Kestrel on leo's leather pants, we think
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 February 2003

%%

marcie:   you can never go wrong with liquid latex
marcie nods knowingly

				-- marcie on anniversary presents
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 February 2003

%%

*** dweez has entered room 'Main'
dweez:    lear
dweez:    jet
dweez:    is
dweez:    in
dweez:    my ass

				-- dweez pleading for help
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 February 2003

%%

Cyrano:   Vanyel:   I
Cyrano:   Vanyel:   ...HAVE
Cyrano:   Vanyel:   ......A BONER!
Cyrano:                                   -- Vanyel with an announcement
linzee:   i cant wait to try out

				-- linzee, eager
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 February 2003

%%

marcie:   aw man
marcie:   i have a turd crowning
marcie:   brb in like 2 minutes
cuinhell: HAHHAAHA
marcie:   don't go anywhere
rayray:   that's gross
rayray:   thankyou
cuinhell: her shit window is much more important
cuinhell: ;)
rayray:   tmi
Vanyel:   too much shitformation
rayray:   yup
cuinhell: quality pooping waits for no one
Vanyel:   she kbnows this, she changes diapers
cuinhell: yours?
Vanyel:   only on special occasions
marcie:   har har motherfuckers
marcie:   it was an express poop
marcie:   don't worry
rayray:   thanks
cuinhell: PLOP

				-- marcie's shit window
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 February 2003

%%

cuinhell: the power of ass compels you
Vanyel farts
cuinhell: the POWER of ass compels you
cuinhell: the POWER OF ASS compels you
Vanyel:   the power of gASS compels you
marcie:   ain't that the truth

				-- be HEEEEEEEALED!!!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 February 2003

%%

Vanyel:   drinkdrinkdrinkdrinkdrinkgoddamnineedtogetlaiddrinkdrinkdrinkdrink

				-- Vanyel with a mantra
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 February 2003

%%

Xi:       looooooooove by the cellphoooooone liiiiiiiiights

				-- Xi crooning a ballad
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 February 2003

%%

DontKnow: I was a deprived child growing up.

				-- DK reveals all
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 February 2003

%%

Vanyel:   I
Vanyel:   ...HAVE
Vanyel:   ......A BONER!

				-- Vanyel with an announcement
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 February 2003

%%

Jake:     kesticle
Jake:     hows old age and treachery?
Kestrel:  fucked
Kestrel:  how's youth and stupidity?
Jake:     couldn't tell you, I smoke too much pot

				-- Jake the whippersnapper
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 February 2003

%%

Seeker:   you suck
Al:       only if you've showered

				-- Al outlining his standards
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 February 2003

%%

Vanyel:   BITCH
marcie:   WHORE
marcie:   i've been here
marcie:   you bald jew
Vanyel:   shaddap you earthen retaining wall
marcie:   ahahahahahhahahaaha

				-- Vanyel and marcie calling each other names
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 February 2003

%%

DontKnow: fee fie foe fum. I smell and englishman. and even stronger I smell
          zorro.
DontKnow: and i'm hungry
DontKnow: and englishmen have leanred how to use their legs.
Zorro:    when did you start smoking crack, dude?

				-- Zorro concerned about DK
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 February 2003

%%

Cyrano:   ever had one of those dreams where a dozen naked women are all
          standing around you, and squirting you with little bottles of
          mustard?
cuinhell: no, how do I make them happen?
Cyrano:   eat a hotdog with nothing but sauerkraut and jalapenos right before
          bed

				-- Cyrano with advice
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 February 2003

%%

DontKnow: you know, with 2630 religions in the usa and canada, we should be
          able to find something interesting.

				-- DK complaining
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 February 2003

%%

Cyrano:   boobies uber alles.

				-- Cyrano's manifesto
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 February 2003

%%

Zorro:    lia
Zorro:    if i donate my body, do you promise not to violate me?:P
Lia:      *ROFLMAO*
Lia:      define "violate"
Zorro:    i'd rather not, now
Zorro:    :)
Lia:      I just cut people's bones up into little pieces and grind them to
          powder
Zorro:    ok
Zorro:    that's fine
Zorro:    don't snort me ok   

				-- Zorro's last will & testament
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 February 2003

%%

firl:     whats gas like by you leo?
Xi:       stinky

				-- firl asking for the price of gasoline
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 February 2003

%%

Moni:     heh..there's a Cop Convention next door to my office at the Marriot.
          More cops in one place since the Oakland Riots. 
Moni:     A car alarm goes off across the street.
Moni:     They all stand and stare at it, then go inside the building
marcie:   ahahahahahahahAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

				-- Moni explains it all
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 February 2003

%%

Cyrano:   I'd be a control freak if I had the energy

				-- Cyrano, tired
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 February 2003

%%

Cyrano:   killer tomatoes attack france.

				-- Cyrano with more news
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 February 2003

%%

Cyrano:   java is slow.  film at 11.

				-- Cyrano with the news
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 February 2003

%%

*** Lia has entered room 'Main'
Lia:      Oh the weather outside is frightful
Lia:      and a fire would be so delightful
Lia:      but since I have places to go
Lia:      FUCK THIS SNOW, fuck this snow, fuck this snow
Vanyel:   ahahah
Lia bows
Lia:      bye
*** Lia has left the room

				-- Lia loving winter
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 February 2003

%%

Cyrano:   it's so hard to find good test subjects these days

				-- Cyrano lamenting his lot
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 February 2003

%%

Sarge:    anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die has to be evil
Kestrel punches sarge in the nose
Kestrel:  bleed away you pussy

				-- Sarge on women and Kestrel being impatient
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 February 2003

%%

Vanyel:   there is a deer taking a shit in front of my office window

				-- Vanyel becoming one with nature
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 February 2003

%%

Sarge:    my son is Sean Donovan
Vanyel:   god that name is so irish
wob:      heh
Vanyel:   he'll be pissing shamrocks
Sarge:    hahaha

				-- aye laddy!
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 February 2003

%%

Crazy:    part of the mystery of physics is learning the definition of k
Al:       no Crazy
Crazy:    until you learn it, you have to keep taking courses
Al:       part of the mystery of EN is learning the definition of K

				-- Al on physics
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 February 2003

%%

Cyrano:   a note
Cyrano:   cautionary tales do not end with the statement "it was sooooo cool"

				-- Cyrano with a warning
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 February 2003

%%

Vanyel:   if I shaved off all my body hair right now, i'd be able to make a
          toupee for a litter of bald cats  

				-- Moishe the Gorilla
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 February 2003

%%

Cyrano:   hello kitty should be used as an instrument of good, not evil.

				-- Cyrano with morality lessons
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 February 2003

%%

Cyrano:   if you could clone anyone you wanted, in sick twisted fashion, whose
          DNA would you nab?
afked:    ASS
Xi:       Janet Reno
Cyrano:   janet reno.
RenoED:   janet reno does dallas
marcie:   ew.
Cyrano:   couldn't we just try to cross reno with dworkin to see if we could
          build the Six Million Dollar Bitch?
Jake:     everytime I here janet reno I picture her dancing on SNL
Jake:     its quite scary
RenoED:   you mean every time you fantasize
RenoED:   you want that reno snatch Jake
Jake:     YES
RenoED:   you wanna check under the hood for the malformed clitoris that
          *actually is* a penis.
Jake:     SO MANY WRINKLES TO CHOOSE FROM

				-- her name is Reno and she dances on the sand
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 February 2003

%%

Cyrano:   I have a bottle of robitussin on my desk, with a bendy-straw
          sticking out
Cyrano:   user walks in, looks at desk, says "uh, maybe later" and walks out

				-- jamez scaring the lusers
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 February 2003

%%

Cyrano:   join me in my search for spiritual meaning through the use of over
          the counter cold meds.

				-- Cyrano seeking enlightenment
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 February 2003

%%

Slayer:   hold on while i type up some logs to prove that marcie is bin laden
Courtney: pahaha
Courtney: osama bin lesbian
firl:     i *knew* there was somethign suspicious about her
Vanyel:   AHAHAHAH
marcie jabbers in Arabic
Vanyel:   *** Marcie (Osama bin Lesbian
marcie:   ALL HAIL ALLAH
marcie:   DEFEAT THE GREAT SATAN
Vanyel:   and chew some rug
marcie:   THE STREETS WILL RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF THE INFIDELS
Courtney: ALL HAIL ALLEHSBIAN
marcie:   and the PMS'ing women
firl:     yeah

				-- marcie finding religion
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 February 2003

%%

Vanyel:   i'm at the point where i'd stick my dfingers in the A/C scoket ot
          get rid of all thsi body hair

				-- Van needing industrial-strength electrolysis
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 February 2003

%%

ed:       never, ever, start out a mail that'll end up seeing my eyes lik
          this:
ed:       First of all - I'm not an "idiot" when it comes to these sorts of
ed:       things.  I feel my knowledge of computers, networking, and etc.
ed:       rivals/surpasses those employed at places like yourself. 
ed:       never
ed:       *ever* do that.
ed:       if you dont' want to see 99% packetloss and *unimaginable* ammounts
ed:       an anonoymous tip to the fucking  FBI terrorist hotline
ed:       and a gangrape of your dog, by my midgets.
ed:       and my tech
ed:       god bles shim
ed:       Now, Martin, we are bending over backwards to help you, but your
          attitude
ed:       always stinks and that's not a behavior I like to reward.
Vanyel hands ed a dollar and claps
marcie:   you have taught your tech well, my son.
KesEat:   bad luser, no bandwidth

				-- ed on another customer rant
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 January 2003

%%

K:        ramrod
K:        the official police car of EN
Cyrano:   the Hyundai Errata.
Vanyel:   ahahahahah
Cyrano:   and its cheaper clone, the Daewoo Afterthought
...
Cyrano:   the Fiat Pinata?
...
Cyrano:   the dodge cutlet.
K hops in the Oldsmobile Backbacon

				-- Cyrano with car recommendations
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   I'd like to spend a day as a rock.
Cyrano:   I think it would be cathartic

				-- Cyrano's secret wish
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 January 2003

%%

Vanyel:   doesnt linux support fat32?
marcie:   damned if i know
marcie:   it should
marcie:   but that doesn't mean anything ;)
Cyrano:   it wasn't politically acceptable enough
Cyrano:   you need to use "mount -F bbw32"
marcie:   *snork*
marcie:   i love you james :)
Cyrano:   fssnap /dev/bra

				-- Big Beautiful Woman ^W File System
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 January 2003

%%

Vanyel:   there seem to be a lot less lusers on this commute
saundo:   there'll be more eventually
Vanyel:   i hadda share the last commute with stanford college students as
          well as sun employees
saundo:   ew
saundo:   dumb and dumber

				-- saundo commenting on the commute
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 January 2003

%%

Vanyel:   bad sign #1: our marketing manager doesnt understand oow our product
          works

				-- Vanyel on his new job
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   when phenethylamines are outlawed, only outlaws will have chocolate.

				-- Cyrano with a warning
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 January 2003

%%

Vanyel:   weiurdos
marcie:   yes
marcie:   turdos
saundo:   zofo
Courtney: i have a cookie dough blizzard for dessert
Courtney: yum
Vanyel:   you suck.
saundo:   tostiturdos
saundo:   with new brown flavor
marcie:   mmm!
marcie:   brown sauce!
Al:       peanut butter and corn chip sandwich
marcie cracks up at herself
saundo:   have them with corn!
Courtney: new lays chips, now in anal secretion flavour (may include olestra)
saundo:   niblets, ass filtered, fresh from our mexican suppliers
Al:       eeew
saundo:   with fresh anal leakage dip
marcie:   mmmm, ass filtered corn niblets!
ed:       wha
ed:       anal leakage
marcie:   HI ED
saundo:   that caught his attention
ed:       fuckin olestra
ed:       that shit is naaaastay
saundo:   you can take the anal leakage out of the boy
saundo:   the man just wipes

				-- turd talk on EN
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 January 2003

%%

ed:       you hairy jew bastard
Vanyel:   just call me moishe gorilla

				-- Vanyel accepting himself
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 January 2003

%%

Lia:      how about "metric shitload"
Cyrano:   hm  
Cyrano:   well, what's the density of shit
Lia:      depends on where it floats
DontKnow: depends. runny or solid? green brown or black?
Cyrano:   figuring 4'x8'x3' = 96 ft^2
Lia:      cubic feet
Lia:      hmmmm
Lia:      I probably have that many books
Cyrano:   ok, water is 1.945 slugs per cubic foot
Vanyel:   rofl
marcie:   weirdos    
Lia:      and your point is?
Vanyel:   BITCH!
Cyrano:   187 slugs
Cyrano:   that's a metric shitload.
Lia:      cool
Vanyel:   how many hogsheads is that
Lia:      *ROFL*
Cyrano:   don't make me beat you up.
Vanyel:   come on, you dont have a conversion table handy?
*** Crazy has entered room 'Main'    
Cyrano:   har 
DontKnow: once upon a time I wrote a "/conv" routine for ebbs chat.
Vanyel:   i remember it
Cyrano:   racking brains
Lia:      conversion factor for shitload to hogshead is
Cyrano:   hogshead is 7 firkins
Al:       Lia:      conversion factor for shitload to hogshead is
Cyrano:   or 63 imperial gallons
Lia:      44.35 hogsheads per shitload
Al falls out  
Lia:      er, 4.35   
Cyrano:   what the fuck is a firkin
Vanyel:   a firkin is 1.323452345 statute shitloads
Lia:      halk a fuckin?
Cyrano:   no
DontKnow: a firkin is 63 imperial gallons.  seems like a large keg.
Lia:      half
Cyrano:   1 firkin = 9 imperial gallons.
Vanyel:   as opposed to a metric shitload
Cyrano:   nono
Cyrano:   nautical shitloads.        
Vanyel:   rofl
marcie:   nautical shitloads!
Lia:      so a firkin would be about 1/5 of a hogshead
DontKnow: a firkin is about 1/4 of a barrel (british units)
Vanyel:   how many assfulls is that
Lia:      oh
Cyrano:   depends on the ass.
Vanyel:   how many shitloads per assful?
Lia:      well a hogshead is a barrel 
Lia:      so I was close
Lia:      1 per day, if you're lucky
Lia:      anyway
Cyrano:   fascinating

				-- goddamn nerds calculating a metric shitload
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 January 2003

%%

firl:     ok, when someone is talking about "Roentgenology" are they talking
          about X-Rays?
Cyrano:   either that or studies of dead german scientists.
Cyrano:   or was he swedish, I can never remember
firl:     well, when did the term Xray become en vogue then?
Cyrano:   when everyone got tired of saying "Roentgen Rays"

				-- Cyrano the scientist
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   great
Cyrano:   he got sent to the principals office twice today
Moni:     Why twocie?
Cyrano:   he disassembled his desk.
Moni:     bwahahahaha
Vanyel:   ahahaha
Sarge:    yep, he's james' son alright
Cyrano:   sigh

				-- Cyrano on his son
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   may you be blessed by a kid who, when he's 6, does not attempt to
          set the house on fire.

				-- Cyrano with a blessing
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   if you end up waking up in an alleyway every morning reeking of
          tequila, maybe it's time to change MTAs.

				-- Cyrano with advice on Exchange
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 January 2003

%%

Lia:      I must have been in a bad mood last week
Lia:      I washed an entire load of black clothes

				-- Lia and laundry
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 January 2003

%%

saundo:   argh - the midgets are coming - the midgets are coming - get the
          wvery small kleenexes!

				-- saundo going mad
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 January 2003

%%

ed:       mahahaha
ed:       personal papsmear machine
Moni:     the things I walk in on

				-- Moni, worried
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 January 2003

%%

Moni:     -21 wc in Minnesota
Moni:     gawd
Moni:     oh..lovely -16 in St. Louis
Moni:     my decision to move there or not, is getting easier every day
ed:       its a balmy 98.6 under my ballsack, though.
Moni:     thanks ed
Sarge:    ahh the tropics of ED

				-- ed with the weather report
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 January 2003

%%

K:        and the people!
K:        and the people!
sybil:    what the hell are you talking about?
marcie:   only his hairdresser knows for sure

				-- K being dramatic
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 January 2003

%%

Al:       he's just hosed his copy of XP
Al:       can't figure out how to run their restore disc
Al:       and is asking me for help
marcie:   heh
marcie:   fuck 'im
Al:       yep
Jake:     is he a spoonfed yuppie?
Al:       he's 18
marcie:   "lemme ask you something. when you came drivin' up here, did you see
          a sign on the front of my house that said 'dead pentium storage'?"
Al:       he neither is nor isn't 
marcie:   "well, now..."
Al:       because he hasn't gotten to that point yet
Vanyel:   ahahAHAHAHAHAHaaAahHAHAHAHAHA
Al:       HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
marcie:   "DID you see a SIGN that said dead PENTIUM STORAGE?!?"
marcie:   "no. i didn't."
marcie:   "no. you know WHY? causing storing dead PENTIUMS ain't my FUCKIN
          BUSINESS, THAT'S WHY!"
marcie bows

				-- marcie getting medieval
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 January 2003

%%

Vanyel:   its 2700 miles to santa cruz.  We've got a full tank of gas, 60gb of
          mp3's.  It's dark and we're wearing night vision goggles.  Hit it.

				-- The EN Brothers
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   ed on speed
Cyrano:   the writings could be pulitzer material

				-- Cyrano on ed and drugs
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 January 2003

%%

Vanyel:   lets get thrown out of mexico
Cyrano:   cool!

				-- the new EN plan
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 January 2003

%%

*** cuinhell has entered room 'Main'
ed:       cuinmyscrotum juice
cuinhell: ed bagely
ed:       hahah
*** Cyrano has been disconnected
*** Cyrano has entered room 'Main'
ed:       james baby
ed:       my  little ball of jizz
marcafk snorks
*** marcafk is now known as marcie
ed:       motherfucker

				-- the boys being affectionate
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 January 2003

%%

marcie:   A GREAT BIG SQUASH JUST SAT UPON MY HAT!
marcie:   A GREAT BIG SQUASH JUST SQUISHED MY HAT SO FLAT!
Vanyel:   uhh
Vanyel:   joy?
firl:     she's lost it.
marcie:   yes.
marcie:   i have.
marcie:   actually i'm watching a veggie tales DVD
marcie:   which is a SURE indication i've lost it.

				-- marcie going mad (again)
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 January 2003

%%
Cyrano:   ok
Cyrano:   Unix translations of music lines
Vanyel:   oh no
marcie:   here we go
marcie getes the popcorn
Cyrano:   sigaction(TRAP_TRACE, SIG_KILL, &tempsig);
Cyrano:   ("I'd rather die than give you control")
Vanyel:   ahahAHAHAHAHAHAH
marcie:   hahahahah!
Cyrano:   it's a damn good thing I'm loaded
Cyrano:   mpi_realloc(getpgrp(), MPI_LIMIT_ANY, MPI_SCHED_IMMED);
Cyrano:   ("We gotta go now")
Vanyel:   ahahahaha

				-- Cyrano being creative
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 January 2003

%%

Slayer:   i'm prejudiced against white rappers
Slayer:   it'd be the same if some bruthas got up there and started line
          dancing
Slayer:   you can take my heart squicky squicky my ache breaky heart kill
          whitey 
Slayer:   not that i like country or "herban" music, but it's just funny when
          they overlap the colors
Vanyel:   well
Vanyel:   eminem is pretty talented, as far as rappers go
Slayer:   my mom went down to the country club i shot a cop and smeared the
          blood.  werd.

				-- Slayer on Eminem
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 January 2003

%%

saundo:   ass filtered corn niblets!
marcie:   YEAH!
saundo:   filtered by the finest rrrrrrectums known to man
saundo:   farm fresh from our asses to youuuuuuu!
saundo ahems
saundo:   i apologize
saundo:   I've had very little sleep
marcie:   do carry on

				-- saundo's head spinning around
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   going insane might be worth it, just for the vacation

				-- Cyrano needing a break
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 January 2003

%%

Vanyel:   AOL IS A BUNCH OF FESTERING DOG SNOT FUCKERS

				-- Vanyel is enlightened
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   turnips.  if we could just get people to worship turnips...

				-- Cyrano trying to start a religion
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 January 2003

%%

Vanyel:   mustang sally
Vanyel:   better slow yourmustang down
Cyrano:   too late, ford already did.

				-- Cyrano on cars
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 January 2003

%%

cuinhell: http://www.somethingawful.com/goldmine/01-14-2003/Clown_Lotion_2.gif
Cyrano:   I'm not going anywhere near a url with the words "clown lotion" in
          it.
cuinhell: wuss.
cuinhell: it involves midgets you heretic
Cyrano:   oh
Cyrano:   well that's ok then

				-- Cyrano being appeased
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 January 2003

%%

Vanyel:   anal bleeding
Cyrano:   and there was much rejoicing.

				-- Cyrano being quoted out of context
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 January 2003

%%

Jake:     man
Jake:     I sure do think the world should clone gary coleman

				-- Jake with a horrifying idea
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   hm, religion
Cyrano:   how about this
Cyrano:   we start one where the focal point is that we have proof that this
          universe is actually a simulation
Al:       cult of the exploding cow?
Cyrano:   and our divine mission in to contact the bored person running it
Cyrano:   in=is
marcie:   bored MIT geek from another universe
Cyrano:   more or less

				-- Cyrano founding a religion
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 January 2003

%%

DontKnow: yeah, worshippers have advantages. but getting those worshippers
          either require luck or else the right personality. 
DontKnow: and I sure don't have the personality to get one friend, let a lone
          a few thousand.
marcie hears the faint music of the world's tiniest violin
DontKnow: tha'ts too much music for me.
Vanyel:   that was me farting

				-- Vanyel making music of the night
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   sure, sell yourself out
Cyrano:   but set your sights high
Cyrano:   I mean, if Rael can get 50000 people following his every word and he
          doesn't even make sense
Cyrano:   think of what a real religion engineered for the masses could do
Vanyel:   dude.
Vanyel:   thats it
Vanyel:   vaginism!
Cyrano:   AHAHAHAHAH
marcie:   HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
Vanyel:   you worship god by having random sex
marcie:   i'm your first disciple!
marcie:   sign me UP!

				-- marcie converting
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 January 2003

%%

K:        i've dated 3 chicks with kids now and i still haven't ever had to
          change a diaper in my life
K:        i take pride in that

				-- K being a good boyfriend
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 January 2003

%%

K:        i wouldn't know what the song greensleeves was if it weren't for
          fisher price

				-- K paying tribute to his influences
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 January 2003

%%

Slayer:   fuck if i'm moving back to mississippi
K:        i'm in tennesshitty
K:        not mississhitty
Slayer:   same thing just more hilly in places

				-- Slayer on the unique aspects of the South
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 January 2003

%%

Vanyel:   I AM BRAINSUCKY!

				-- Vanyel finding himself
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   know what keeps ocean mammals in packs, despite the fact that they
          don't directly share?
Lia:      protection
Vanyel:   coca cola 6 pack rings?
Cyrano:   the van der whales force.

				-- mwah mwah mwah mwahhhhh
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   fluid flow physics is a bitch
cuinhell: that's why it is important to use a jizz sock

				-- cuinhell on physics
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   there's something wrong about hearing a Chopin nocturne whilest a
          woman is moaning about her empty ass

				-- Cyrano on porn music
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   enabling javascript in netscape is like popping the clutch at idle
Vanyel:   ahhahaahah
Cyrano:   there's this giant "ha-HUH"
Cyrano:   and then it stalls
Vanyel:   rofl

				-- Cyrano reviewing Netscape
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   hm
Cyrano:   this is the first time I've seen the phrase "pompous donkey rimmer"
          used in a webcomic
Vanyel:   url?
Cyrano:   http://www.nuklearpower.com/
Cyrano:   normally I hate this style of comic
Cyrano:   but the guy really does humor well
marcie:   i'd think that would be the first time you've seen the phrase
          "pompous donkey rimmer" used ANYWHERE, in fact
Cyrano:   you may be right

				-- Cyrano looking at online comics
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   futz, I forgot an important rule
Cyrano:   first make cables, THEN have the beer

				-- Cyrano forgetting the rules
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   HS wouldn't have been bearable without Anne Patterson and her "God I
          Wish These Were Brains" t-shirt

				-- Cyrano reminiscing about high school
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 January 2003

%%

Vanyel:   something about Tom and Jerry is a great euphamism for job searching
          in todays economy

				-- Vanyel on job hunting
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 January 2003

%%

china:    Um, I have a Hello Kitty vibrator
china:    The Hello Kitty on top comes unglued after a certain amount of use.
          ;D

				-- during a discussion on weird sex toys
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 January 2003

%%

*** sunbeam has entered room 'Main'
Cyrano:   geez
sunbeam:  hi guys
Cyrano:   talk about flamethrowing nazi puppets and who turns up

				-- Cyrano summoning sunbeam
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   riot charges
Cyrano:   breacher rounds
Cyrano:   teflon jacketed armor piercing midgets
cuinhell: YES!
cuinhell: Mobile Midget Launching System
ed:       depleted uranium midgets
marcie:   ahahah
ed:       or enriched
Cyrano:   dumdum midgets.
ed:       whatever your plans are, we have a midget to suite
Cyrano:   yeah
cuinhell: cluster midgets
Cyrano:   they can have a WW-I style kaiser helmet, with spike
cuinhell: HAHHAHAHHA
ed:       You want a midget with a 16" gold-leaf covered cock with a picture
          of margaret thatcher on the end, we can do it.
Cyrano:   OW.
cuinhell: Edward Midgethands
ed:       you want a midget with an ass like the pit on tatooine that Luke
          skywalker was about to be thrown into, we got it.

				-- ed setting up his own business
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 January 2003

%%

ed:       helol ym naem si loe

				-- ed demonstrating Vanyel-itis
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 January 2003

%%

Cyrano:   I want a tacnuke for next xmas

				-- Cyrano making out his wishlist
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 January 2003

%%

marcie:   happy new year you weirdos
Cyrano:   weird is as weird does.
marcie:   yes :)
Cyrano:   I'm living under a curse
saundo:   happy new year, queen weirdo
marcie:   aw, you remembered, zaundo
marcie:   *snif*
saundo:   yes
saundo:   you are queen weirdo. ALl hail queen weirdo, and her squad of attack
          midgets poised to rend all hell on exposed kneecaps
marcie:   that's damn right.

				-- hail to the queen, baby
				Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 January 2003

%%
see also http://www.eaglesnestbbs.org/reverse-enquotes.txt

%%