%% cerby: man cerby: humanity needs to find a way to generate power from the bouncing action of brasts cerby: like, on--body cell phone chargers or something cerby: mmm breasts marcie: i totally agree -- cerb coming up with a brilliant idea Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 July 2008 %% cerby: awesome. cerby: my next 7 servers have just been named: Shit. Piss. Fuck. Cunt. Cocksucker. Motherfucker. Tits. cerby: "yeah, that server is down. Logging onto tits now" janet: tits is up? cerby: indeed. cerby: when the monitoring shows it's working, it shall report "tits up." janet: :D Xi: motherfucker, motherfucker just died, cocksucker is taking over but piss, shit, and cunt are showing high load averages cerby: "nah, tits is up, but cunt is down." Xi: that's the kind of NOC to work in -- NOC of obscenity Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 June 2008 %% ed: bag fucking douche ed: this fucking math faculty is why some animals eat their young -- ed at work Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 March 2008 %% Vanyel: mmm poptarts Vanyel: I had some for breakfast. Vanyel: I am going to get fat again working this job. Vanyel: hopefully the goddamn dog will help keep me mobile ed: you are destined to be a fatass ed: when my people finally take over, I'll save you for making candles Vanyel: :( ed: there is something special in the way jew fat burns Vanyel: I dont want to be a candle Vanyel: I'd rather be soap :( ed: what are your feelings on lampshades? Vanyel: negative. ed: ok ed: we'll recover the bus seats with you ed makes a check next to leos name -- ed the facist Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 March 2008 %% saundo: how do I get to sleep? Vanyel: OK DOORS Vanyel: SWIIING saundo: poetry, that'll work -- Vanyel waxing poetic for saundo Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 March 2008 %% Vanyel: jesus you all are quiet as fuck cerby: shhh, masturbating Vanyel: damnit -- Vanyel interrupting Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 March 2008 %% janet: ugh janet: i hate VCS, while we're at it janet: and oracle janet: and whatever genetic stock they grow DBAs in vats from janet: i think they're related to bread mold marcie: heheh Vanyel: I work with a white one that speaks english. janet: must be a sport Vanyel: I think he was one of the plants they make dba's from via clippings janet: careful, they reproduce via budding janet: watch out for bulging abdomens -- janet with a warning Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 March 2008 %% marcie: and now, for my next trick marcie: i will make my ipod disappear marcie: damnit saundo: the ipod clapper saundo: just remember where you got the idea marcie: hahaha marcie: i nub j00 saundo: just clp twice, and it'll play a random song from your ipod saundo: but will PREFER anything that annoys the piss out of anyone within earshot marcie: obviously marcie: like marcie: the macarena marcie: "come on eileen" saundo: don't do it marcie: "it's a small world" marcie: YES marcie: I DID IT saundo: if you say.. ARUGHGHS"U#(UR}_$# saundo: YOU WENT THERE marcie: oh yes marcie: yes i did marcie: it's been *that* kind of day saundo: #@$#$!@$#%#%&*)(#%NO CARRIER marcie: DON'T LET'S START saundo: i demand you leave now, get drunk on the way home AND THEN tap some ass when you get there marcie: what up saundo: it is not enough that you win, I must also lose marcie: awesome -- saundo and marcie battling it out Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 March 2008 %% ed: holy douchebags batman ed: I said ed: HOLY FUCKING DOUCHEBAGS BATMAN ed: PLEASE STOP RUBBING YOUR BATCOCK ON ME -- ed twitching Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 March 2008 %% marcie: i dreamed last night i was having sex with courteney cox marcie: it was gross cerby: sourtney cox of dirt fame, or first year of friends fame? cerby: she didn't look nearly as foul on the first season of friends. marcie: i no longer remember, as she was naked and did not have a head marcie: so she looked kind of like a plucked chicken marcie: i'm sure this means something marcie: but i don't think i want to know what -- marcie's subconscious hard at work Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 February 2008 %% Moni: my boss just quit Moni: this should be interesting marcie: ha Moni: on the same day that Fidel Castro resigns Moni: coincidence? -- Moni's boss is a bad man Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 February 2008 %% cerby: i've got roger Waters playing... cerby: man i miss, kinda, the days when i could spend an entire day listening to RW and Pink Floyd and light up a joint and veg in front of the boob tube. cerby: getting a blowjob from a cute girl at hte time didn't hurt either. ed: yes ed: even if that last bit was actually the dog licking peanutbuter off your balls cerby: never had a dog. ed: and look at it this way; all that hardwork and dedication laned you in ed: IT ed: isn't it great cerby: yeah cerby: hmmm -- cerb with a dawning realization Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 February 2008 %% cerby: drank a whole bottle of wine at dinner last night cerby: woke up this morning, and i swear the cat had a 3rd eye. -- cerb, hung over Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 February 2008 %% ed: it has a menu-config, which is worthless ed: it has a cli ed: which tries to look like cisco, but works like a donkey fucking a poodle ed: if the HP CLI were Ron Jeremy, he'd be fucking Flavor Flave in a giant above ground pool filled with feces. -- ed on HP ProCurve switches Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 February 2008 %% Vanyel: you caucused ed? Vanyel: who did you vote fer ed: the Bamster ed: it helped that everytime they showed a picure of him, I envisioned him skull fucking hillary with Mitt's cock by cleverly ramming a broomhandle up his ass to stiffen it. ed: "GO OBAMA" Vanyel: grin marcie: ahahaha ed: funny thing is ed: Mitt didn't cum until my mindseye brought in Guiliani slathered in mayo rolling around with a ballgag in a aboveground swimming pool filled with 20's and more mayo. ed: Huckabee just kept to himself, mostly, and jacked off in the corner to some sections of the bible he had premarked; I think one of them had to do with sadom and gamorra marcie: ahahahahahahahha marcie: oh my god dude marcie: you are a master of squick marcie: i bet cheney was in there somewhere marcie: probably taking a bounce on W ed: W and C are i a different league ed: they don't mayo wrestle in 30's ed: 20's ed: they have a custom underground enclosure with 2' thick lexan backlit with blacklights and neon, with spinners on the sides ed: in it they have constant influx of arabian virgins that they bleed ed: and it's not 20's ed: it's 1000 bills ed: and double eagle gold coins ed: W has his own ed: and it's all mahogany, and it looks like a top tier conference room table ed: he pays white guys with blond hair and cowboy hats to lash him with dried bull penises marcie: ahaahahhahaa ed: I'm not sure what sort of liquid he prefers ed: I suspect it's pre-cum laced with cocaine marcie: doubtless, without a doubt -- doing our duty as patriotic americans! Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 February 2008 %% ed: midget scat interspecies erotica ed: with cum on top janet: oogh -- janet, unsettled Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 February 2008 %% Vanyel: I can crash my macbook by inserting a DVD ed: insert it shiny-side-down you dipshit -- Leo's mac Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 February 2008 %% janet: i brought lockpicks in to work today janet: i think things are going downhill -- janet at the job Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 January 2008 %% janet watches siebel gracefully fall to the earth and land in the style of the tunguska meteorite -- janet having a good day at work Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 January 2008 %% cerby: quick! cerby: how do you unarchive a .cpio file? cerby: ...correctly :) ed: lineprinter? cerby: pahah -- ed the helpdesk Eagle's Nest BBS, 30 January 2008 %% ed: first week of classes ed: the T&A is back ed: it's -7 ed: and they'r still scantily clad ed: Moni: I need your professional opinion on this; WTF ed: it's too fucking cold to have your mammarys busting out ed: I'd expect. Moni: T&A ..isn't it cold Moni: ? ed: Tits and Ass ed: I know ed: what sort of brainstem problem causes this? ed: some sort of whoremoan? Moni: ya Moni: that was my thought Moni: it's too cold for tits to be hanging out ed: maybe it is an unanswerable question ed: and we are meant only to bask in it's result Moni: perhaps Moni: let us bask Moni: :) ed: I need a lapel cam -- ed at college Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 January 2008 %% marcie: so facebook is making zillions, presumbably saundo: s/making/costing/ marcie: so that people can poke each other with sharp sticks and pretend to be zombie vampires marcie: and take movie quizzes marcie: i hate the world -- marcie on social networking Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 January 2008 %% Vanyel: cpu spike between 10am and 2am every night Vanyel: whats teh first thing YOU'D think of? marcie: backups Vanyel: SEE? janet: young lust -- janet's CPU load is spiking Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 January 2008 %% ed: you're more worthless than a tampon in a sumo camp -- ed insulting everyone Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 January 2008 %% Vanyel: tishy! Vanyel: holy crap Vanyel: nice to see you here again tishy: vanley! :) tishy: thanks, i was bored *grin* cerby: must have been. cerby: no one comes here unless they are bored or about to commit suicide cerby: I'm not sure if we help or hurt the latter cerby: but entertainment is provided either way. -- cerb the entertainer Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 December 2007 %% janet: you know janet: people look at you funny if you are running after someone on the street yelling "avaunt, avaunt!" -- janet the knight, or something Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 December 2007 %% marcie: i have the goddamn dreidel song stuck in my head marcie: HELP MEEEE ed: fuck yew, jew. ed: jewcupational hazard -- ed the jewgrinch Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 December 2007 %% Moni: I'll get yelled at for not answering my email ed: that does suck marcie: feh ed: would you like to suck? *** Moni has been disconnected marcie: guess not -- Moni, who does not suck Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 December 2007 %% Vanyel: NSDOMAIN bitchfolio Vanyel: hint: try a TLD ed: what the fuck are you on about? ed: dont' you have a cat to milk? -- Leo the catfarmer Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 December 2007 %% Paris: <3 horse sperm -- Paris's love Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 November 2007 %% cerby: my kitty is eating pre-shredded documents cerby: I hope she doesn't figure out how to use my credit card cerby: i'm gonan be pissed if i see 20 anchovie pizzas with extra anchovies. -- cerb's cat plotting Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 November 2007 %% cerby: it's still weird to hear you talk about kids. cerby: (tho, i think i'd have the same reaction if Moni did it) marcie: yeah i bet marcie: it's weird to hear myself talk about having kids :) janet: it doesn't get less weird over time :p janet: though your tolerance for weird stuff goes way up marcie: heheh marcie: sooo true janet: and i no longer fear any bodily fluids marcie: oh, absolutely cerby: T cerby: M cerby: I janet: and yes, oxy-clean really does take yellowgreen baby poop stains out of grout marcie: once you've deal with vomit and shit, the rest is no big deal marcie: :D cerby declares the worlds largest and most severe party foul on janet cerby: *FWEEEEEEP* janet: hah -- the few, the proud, the parents! Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 November 2007 %% marcie: woo marcie: quote file fix marcie flexes her geek muscles ed flexes his phallis cerby: THAT is your geek muscle? cerby: you must be an mcse. -- g33k mu$c13 Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 November 2007 %% Vanyel: dude Vanyel: my wife wants to take your ugly ass out to dinner Vanyel: youre my only acquatance she likes marcie: ahahaha marcie: i take offense to that ;) Vanyel: well ok, one of few. cerby: and i thought her standards were low when she married you. Vanyel: thats it exactly. Vanyel: ed proves it! Vanyel: joey not so much marcie: aw cerby: proud of that, are ye? Vanyel: I think she's classier than us Vanyel: my wife is just as broken as I am, tahts why we work so well together marcie: werd cerby: she's got breasts, she's automatically at least 2 steps above men. marcie: i am not classy marcie: thank god Vanyel: you are classier. Vanyel: I didnt say you were classy per se ed: hahahahahaha marcie: fucking a -- marcie, the classy dame Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 November 2007 %% ed curses mail app ed: FUCK YOU ed: FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU ed: fucking mail app fucking pile of shit fucking turd ed: fucking shitbrick golden fucking goose anus fucking monkey feces shitball 3 fingered fucking cocksucking whore ed: fuck ed: disk *almost* fills on my mac (like 500mb) ed: and mail.app chugs its config file like a fucking hooker chugs a champagne flute full of goddamned aids marcie: tell us how you really feel! marcie: don't hold it in! ed: fucking shit-cum guzzling pile of fucking ratshit ed: now ... ed: it crashes ed: fucking whoreass pile of shit marcie: feel the love marcie: ... of thunderbird ed: thuderburd sucks more ed: so much more ed: my intesintes are sucked out of my ass ed: crammed back down my throat ed: after having been filled with whale shit ed: by a garden gnome that looks like captain kirk ed: thats how much thunderbird sucks marcie: ahahahahaha -- ed's righteous rant Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 November 2007 %% cerby: you are a flaming pile of poo ed: and you're missing your flexible applicator tip -- cerb + ed 4ever Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 October 2007 %% ed: silly dykish CS ta came in to have her door access fixed ed: of course she didn't thank me. ed: hizzho ed: see if I help ed: next time cerby: i thought you had a softspot for dykes? cerby: or maybe you think all dykes have soft spots. cerby: i can't remember which. ed: she could have been fucking nice ed: christ ed: I could be a cross dresser with this hair ed: have some solidarity you fucking bull bitch -- ed the activist Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 October 2007 %% ed: dude ed: one of my coworkers whose been an admin for like 20 years had never seen goatse ed: until about 3 minutes ago DontKnow: smart admin DontKnow: until about 3 minutes ago ed: yup -- ph34r goatse Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 September 2007 %% ed: The University has just received an anonymous email threat indicating that four pipe bombs are on campus grounds and buildings. If you identify anything suspicious resembling a pipe bomb, p marcie: lovely ed: have to give my bike the once-over before I leave. marcie: ahaha ed: make sure it's not got any extra dangerous cargo marcie: just your regular, ordinary midget slave marcie: attached underneath the seat ed: little douchebag has been clamoring for a raise marcie: tell him to clean your sweaty nutsack and stfu ed: I told him to STFU and be glad that he hasn't lost any weight since I changed his kibble to baby foreskins. marcie: ahahahah ed: I said "Listen here you vertically challenged little evolutionary corn-nibblet" ed: "Do you want to spend the night in the fridgerator again?" ed: and then I beat him sensless with a dead squirrel I found on the way to the office marcie: as you damn well should have marcie: next thing you know he's going to want to form a union with the other bike midget slaves! marcie: little tool ed: I cut his tongue out ed: he can't talk to them ed: tho ed: they have this primitive grunt/squaek/fart sort of language ed: little bastards marcie: yes marcie: i've noticed that -- midgets redeux Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 August 2007 %% cuinhell: goddammit, can't find my wireless card Al: look in the third slot from the middle cuinhell: the correct answer was, look on the floor at then end of the desk in the pile of phone cable marcie: well naturally cerby: that's EXACTLY where a wireless card should be. cerby: In the midst of a bunch of phone cables. cuinhell: i think it was cross-training -- cuinhell's equipment gaining knowledge Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 August 2007 %% cuinhell: this is sad. email and en on this monitor. center system is vpn'd to work, right system is remoted into the G5 in my bedroom watching it rip cds cuinhell: i need something for the 4th monitor to do. marcie: the answer is obvious marcie: pr0n! cuinhell: marcie cuinhell: you are a genius, as always :) marcie: that's damn right. -- marcie with the answers Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 August 2007 %% ed: sup kessy Kestrel: nuttin much, TGIF Kestrel: fighting with stupid german engineers Kestrel: hope to start an international incident Kestrel: they should stick to something they are good at... like genocide -- Kesticle the patriotic American Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 June 2007 %% *** Paris has entered room 'Main' cerby: paris, you salty bitch. Paris: i shower occasionally Paris: i suppose i should have rebutted the bitch before the salty -- Paris giving pause for thought Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 June 2007 %% Vanyel: and rach and I are officially married in the state of Texas now, even though wqe've been commonlaw for ages now Moni: vpmht Moni: er Moni: ya Moni: congrats! Moni: that's so exciting :) Vanyel: thanks :D Vanyel: not really Vanyel: really exciting is when we have a real ceremony Moni: what made you decide to do that today? Vanyel: well i had nothing better to do Vanyel: and she had nothing better to do Vanyel: :D Moni: rofl -- Vanyel's passionate affair Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 June 2007 %% Torgo: *Does a song and dance* It's the (now) yearly visit to EN! cerby: you want a biscuit or sumn'? Torgo: Mmmm ... biscuit .... marcie: torgogreg! Torgo waves Torgo sighs. Coming to EN makes me feel like sitting on the front porch and reminiscing to young children about how all this internet used to be farmland, as far as they eye could see. cerby: put a buttplug in it, fuckbasket. Torgo: It's good to see cerb is still full of sunshine and candy elves. marcie: :D -- Torgo's annual visit Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 June 2007 %% ed: it's not a shitty thing! ed: it's an opening! marcie: damn right marcie: that place sucked, fuck them in the goatass ed: if his moms uterus hadn't laid him off, where would he be today, besides the guinness book of records? cerby: true enough. cerby: he'd be a 40th trimester abortion cerby: and, well, while that's letterman-esque and all that, it's no pillow talk discussion. ed: or he'd be like that hairy talking mass extracted from a gall bladder you read about at the supermarket cerby: Pres. bBush? -- Leo the laid-off for President Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 June 2007 %% ed: leobaby ed: it's all good ed: the suck was impending. ed: get your high heels and lipbalm ready, you is going ot be sucking interview cock, and ye shall prevail. marcie: fuckin' A marcie: you will kick ass, for you are made of awesome ed: you piss excellence ed: and the pustules on your cock ooze perfection marcie: damn right! marcie: and each of your shits exudes the fragrance of righteousness ed: I don't think he's listening to us -- the gang cheering up Leo after his being laid off Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 June 2007 %% Moni: arugh..just paid $30 for a mani pedi and smudged my pedicure while putting on my shoes. She "fixed" it, but there's still a noticable divit in the polish Moni: crappy Moni: I'll have to go back and complain and make her fix it and then they'll all chatter in Korean about what a bitch I am. Moni: Look! It's the white bitch with the big feet, back again cuinhell: lol -- Moni of the big bitchy feet Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 May 2007 %% janet polishes her script-o-doom janet: it's my solution to massive dba incompetance janet: were i allowed to use firearms at work this script would not be necessary -- janet wielding weapons of mass destruction Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 May 2007 %% Vanyel: since gas is so fucking expensive, i'm going to beg to work from home once or twice a week marcie: excellent ed: I just ride my bike cerby: how far is your commute? ed: and almost get run over by soccer moms Vanyel: 20 miles eac way ed: this one had that pre-orgasmic gloss in her eye as she almost crushed the bike trailer ed: she was, clearly, on her way to a romp with her fitness trainer ed: whilst her husband busted hump to put gas in that huge fucking land-yacht so she could haul her tight fitness club ass around town cerby: after he puts gas in the EcoKiller3000, he is off to boff his secretary. cerby: so, really, it's a happy marriage all around, except for the gas bill. -- marriage counseling on EN Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 May 2007 %% devil: i need a book on butts and bondage for beginners ed: dont' put things in that you aren't sure you can get out again ed: keep it clean, only the few and the strange enjoy poo ed: you have to sit on your ass at your dayjob; remember that before trying anything too new -- ed with advice Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 May 2007 %% janet: laws are only there to stop the dumb and uncreative -- janet's view on things Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 April 2007 %% ed: man ed: my pulse started racing ed: I've had a headache all day ed: I feel kinda shittay ed: ust be alergic to work -- ed with allergies Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 April 2007 %% cerby: IN JUST 7 DAYS, I CAN MAKE YOU A MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN janet: hah janet: tim curry sunbeam: I don't think i'll ever leave chico cerby: indeed. cerby: I'm a harpo fan, myself. janet digs around for a pair of fishnets cerby: it's really the unlaced corset that makes the costume. Vanyel: UNLACED CORSET WHERE marcie: on tim curry, you tool marcie: settle down Vanyel: oh jesus. -- Vanyel, disappointed Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 April 2007 %% DontKnow: the only reason terrists don't drink is that they're all musleums living in the middle east. ed: sucks to be them ed: if I had sand in my crack and no beer, I'd be irritated too -- ed with a peaceful solution Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 April 2007 %% janet sneezes Vanyel farts janet: lol Vanyel: farting is ALWAYS funny. janet starts lighting jelly bellies on fire one by one Vanyel: neat. cerby: now if you shot them out of your ass, one by one, on fire, that would be somewhat impressive. cerby: be sure to take video. janet: geez cerb janet: ping pong balls janet: girl's got to have some standards -- janet with standards Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 March 2007 %% Moni: I had a dream that Vicki fucked me in the patio department at Sears Moni: I'll never be able to look at the tables with the umbrellas teh same way again -- Moni has a dream Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 March 2007 %% ed: you don't bloat by nibbling on your fingernails and sucking low-calorie white cock, I guess. cerby: depends - i hear there is a lot of protein in cock. ed: probably less in white cock ed: and even less in white asian cock *** marcafk is now known as marcie marcie: morning tools cerby: wait a sec cerby: asian white cock? cerby: that's like sucking mayo out of a bar-straw! marcie: good god, that's nasty cerby: there's nothing pleasant about asian cock. ed: the uncuttedness not withstanding ed: it'd be like sucking mayo out of a bar straw that'd been shoved down a rancid hotdog casing cerby: now that is a foul image. ed: it had to be created marcie: thanks ever so marcie: i'll never be able to look at bar straws the same way again ed: no problem dude -- eeeuuuuggghhhh Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 March 2007 %% Vanyel: Rachel laughs at me because I sing lulabyes to my cats marcie: ahahaha Vanyel: rockabye abby, in the treetop. when the wind blows, then abby will MERRRROW! Vanyel: when the bough breaks, then abby will fall, and down will come abby, MERRRROOOOOWW!!!!!!! -- Leo being a good cat owner Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 March 2007 %% janet: damnit janet: i knew i should have worn underwear today -- janet with a painful realization Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 March 2007 %% ed: there is a fanboy who already has vista and orfice 207 ed: 2007 ed: out now ed: he's the head monkey for the pharmacy college marcie: ugh marcie: i can't fathom why you would do that to yourself cerby: people have their genitals plated in bronze too cerby: I think both are equally painful and unexplainable. -- paaaaaiiiiin Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 February 2007 %% marcie: go go gadget fds_deploy marcie chants and waves a dead chicken ed: doesit have an extra teste? ed: I think you'll need a double vagina'd or triple teste'd chicken for what you're trying ed: and it must be a calico marcie: damnit marcie: *that's* why it's been puking! marcie: damn extra-tested, extra-vagina'ed, calico chickens marcie: ... marcie: i'm pretty sure that's a sentence that's never been uttered before in the history of the universe -- marcie having an original thought Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 February 2007 %% DontKnow: damnit fucker, when I say something was working yesterday don't be asking about it today simply because you're looking at monday's broken stuff. cerby: time-shofted lack-of-clue always annoys the fuck out of me cerby: shifted DontKnow: now he's tryign to save face. he's the one that sends out daily test reports and he can't read them right. ed: just call him a fuck and move on ed: "you sir, are a fuck" cerby: hah cerby: "meet ed, he's full of love" cerby: "man love" cerby: "sweaty, salty man love" DontKnow: no, I want to beat him upside the head with a baseball bat. marcie: well duh ed: do that too ed: but ed: ensure that you urinate upon his twitching and bloody corpse cerby: werd. marcie: mmm corpse marcie: it's the good thing about this profession marcie: sysadmins can have all the violent and bloody fantasies they want marcie: :D cuinhell: mmm awash in the blood of a thousand MS personnel cuinhell: calgon, take me away -- sysadmin fantasies Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 February 2007 %% Vanyel: http://tmbo.org/offensive/images/picpile/Strange%20things%20physics% 20textbooks.jpg Vanyel: if janet ever wronte a textbook it'd look like this janet: huh? Vanyel: check out the picture, doof janet: ha janet: yeah janet: those, and the ones that start out, "assume a spherical, frictionless chicken"... -- janet's weird sex life Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 February 2007 %% Vanyel: my dream is that James Dobson comes out of the closet next marcie: that would so rock marcie: ha Vanyel: he should come out of hte closet with Ted Haggard's dick in his ass, sharing a meth pipe Vanyel: IS THAT THE PIZZA DELIVERY PERSON! OH SHIT ITS THE NEW YORK TIMES! Vanyel: THIS IS OFF TEH RECORD! marcie: ahahahhahahahaha marcie: goddamn i love you leo -- Leo's dream world Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 February 2007 %% Vanyel: mmm fees. Vanyel: then the fee for processing my fee marcie: paypal? Vanyel: house buying marcie: ah marcie: yes marcie: it is teh suq, it's true Vanyel: dont for get the fee processing fee fee! Vanyel: then the document preperation fee Vanyel: then the document reading fee Vanyel: the document faxing fee Vanyel: the document scanning fee Vanyel: the document mauling fee Vanyel: oh, and then the overdraft fee because of all the unannounced fees Vanyel: which was my fault Vanyel: I'm still going to have to come up with like 3k even though my sellers are pauing "closing costs" Vanyel: oh, inspection fee Vanyel: termite inspection fee Vanyel: survey fee marcie: yes Vanyel: lien check title fee marcie: welcome to home ownership marcie: again Vanyel: luckelly no HOA fees Vanyel: I wonder what I will find out about next in the month of fees Vanyel: I am going to have nightmares about fees marcie: ahahah Vanyel: YOU ARE SUBJECT TO A FEE FOR EVERY OUNCE OF PEE Vanyel: WETHER YOU PEE IN A TREE, OR IN THE ALLY! Vanyel: I DECREE YOU WILL PAY OUTRAGEOUS FEES TO ENORMUS DEGREES! Vanyel: YOU WILL DROWN SHILE SAILING THE SEAS OF FEES! marcie: hahahahahahhaha Vanyel: yes. -- Vanyel twitching Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 February 2007 %% Vanyel: Oh man I love boobs marcie: well don't we all! Vanyel: I love boobs I can bury my face into and go BLURGLAHGLAHLGHLEGAASBARHBRLE marcie: hahahahaha marcie: yes! marcie: me too! marcie: this is why i have the girlfriend i have! marcie: she might even let you do that to her if you give her enough vodka martinis ;) Moni: \mm Moni: bnoobs Moni: and boobs Vanyel: BNOOBS Vanyel: as I get older, I turn into a more and more typical male marcie: me too Moni: I've just turned into a bitch Vanyel: awesome. marcie: atta girl Vanyel: no wonder I like you so much more now Moni: f'ing sexy bitch, to be exact Moni: and here I thought it was because of my bnoobs Vanyel: well they help -- boobs, bitches, and boys Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 February 2007 %% cerby: my sock will be covered in dried horse cum cerby: or maybe not dry after all. cerby: wait cerby: taken out of context, that sounded REALLY bad -- cerb's fantasy Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 February 2007 %% Moni: Anna Nicole Smith Dies Moni: omg! marcie: what? ed: what! ed: those titties! ed: I know they were fake ed: and she was dumb as yesterdays turd ed: but Moni: http://tinyurl.com/2fh9r2 Moni: she proibably ODed Moni: her poor baby girl marcie: holy shit marcie: that sucks marcie: poor kid marcie: man, she looked a lot better when she was fat Moni: ya ed: she looked alot better 10 years ago when I masterbated to her every chance I got. marcie: aheheh ed: now it'd be like jacking off to a skeleton with nasty demons inside ed: no good for the stiffy ed: well ed: yesterday, rather ed: now it'd like jacking off to a dead, bloated, drug filled corpse ed: thou marcie: ahaha ed: I bet her IQ is atleast 50points higher now, than at the same time yesterday. marcie: ahahahhaah marcie: damn dude, you are so going to hell marcie: we like that about you Moni calmly wipes the diet coke off of her keyboard ed: sorry man -- RIP Anna Nicole Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 February 2007 %% Moni: I had a rather bad experience on Wednesday night mixing codein cough syrup with wine Moni: dont' do that -- Moni the substance abuse counselor Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 December 2006 %% Sarge: is anyone running windows vista with a netware network? marcie: do i look like a masochist? Vanyel: yes Sarge: actually marcie yes -- marcie the masochist Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 December 2006 %% Vanyel: thanks a shitton, man ed: save you some pain ed: save me having to look at 'em cerby: is a shitton a measure of time, space, or money? Vanyel: a shitton is 10x a shitload, and 100x a pantload, but 1/10 a fuckload. cerby: ahhhhhahahahaahha\ Vanyel: it's a load of volume ed: how does a buttload fit into that? Vanyel: pantload = 10x buttload cerby: 2-3 buttloads creates a pantsload? cerby: nah cerby: it wouldn't take 10 buttloads to filla a pantsload cerby: no way cerby: exhibit A: ed's recent turd-tacular splash episode ed: thats like a +5 butload ed: what are we giving as a pantsload volume? cerby: a pantsload volume, would be, say, the residuals from 5 pizzas ed: I'm thinking either: the seating area, or a filling of empty pants cerby: ooh. ed: see todays dilbert cerby: i htink it's just the seating area then -- shitmeasures Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 December 2006 %% marcie: because i hate this place marcie: and i relish the opportunity to give them all the finger marcie: the only thing preventing me from quitting this identical minute is that it's easier to get a job if you already have one marcie: and i like money. marcie: i am planning my departure for maximum fuckage of management marcie: i.e., not come back from thanksgiving break marcie: when, on day 3 of my absense they call me, i'll say, "oh, you didn't get the email?" marcie: "i'm not cominh back, motherfuckers" marcie: "fuck you, your wives, and your small animals" ed: your children ed: your childrens children ed: your mistresses ed: your grandmas chihuuas marcie: unto the 7th generation ed: fuck you assholes with superglue coated rebar ed: fuck your wife with a syphlittic samon cock with endemic herpes ed: may your first meeting with your daughters boyfriend be via a screening of bang monsters 4: when pussies revolt marcie: hahahahaha marcie: yes! -- marcie at her shitty job Eagle's Nest BBS, 25 October 2006 %% DontKnow: you know, when you ask a question and are told that the answer violates the laws of physics, you know you're working in a screwed up environment. -- DK at work Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 October 2006 %% cerby: there are things in life better than tripply nested shell loops, but if you don't count sex and beer, it's a short list. ed: quad nested perl forloops with empty else and if's and no die statements. cerby: just had to shit on my vision, didn't ya? ed: I had to dstroy it like an anus ed: because I am a purveyer of nasty fuckticated perlification like that described. ed: if's and no elses ed: nary a die in sight ed: code that if packed, run through md5, coms out with the string ed: "JOB SECURITY" over and over and over. cerby: whahaha -- cerby getting off Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 October 2006 %% cerby: GOOD MORNING cerby: PURVEYORS OF CONCENTRATED SUCK. -- cerb greeting the nerds Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 October 2006 %% devil: okay, it's official devil: i never want to go to a bar again janet: awww janet: got a clingon? marcie: lies devil: my god, this one is the worst ever devil: after i fuck him, he won't shut up so i can go to sleep janet: has he moved up to 'stalker' yet? devil: i finally kicked him out when he started talking about moving in MsDNA: lol devil: next day, note and stuffed animal on my doorstep telling me he loves me and begging me to call MsDNA: oh no.. and you had just met him? devil: and now today, a massive basket of chocolates and another love note devil: i just brought him home for a fuck! MsDNA: that sounds very stalkerish devil: i didn't even know his name until i read his first note MsDNA: hehe janet: ahahahahahah MsDNA: I always hated guys like that devil: well, i guess i'll just have to be happy that i'm moving in a month MsDNA: I go for the hard to get guys MsDNA: yeah, don't leave a forwarding address heh devil: oh, he was hard to get at the bar, problem was when you got him home MsDNA: heh MsDNA: ugh I need to get motivated MsDNA: I need food devil: i'm considering stringing up the stuffed animal in a noose and hanging it from the door knob in case he comes back tomorrow -- devil's stalker boy Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 October 2006 %% Moni: heh..the wife is whining about being fat in her LJ Moni: not sure why that amuses me, but it does Moni: maybe it's because she's blaming it on a medical condition, when I saw her eating a snickers bar yesterday -- Moni's Big Beautiful Wife Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 September 2006 %% cerby: hrm cerby: the EXACT same cat litter in bags (25lb) is like 40% cheaper than in a fucking plastic pail. cerby: goddammit. cerby: 27# for $10.49 (pail) versus 25# for $4.99 cerby: in a fucking bagf. cerby: next time that shit goes on sale, I'm buying the pallet. cerby: I WILL BE THE KING OF CAT SHIT cerby: err, maybe I shouldn't advertise that. -- cerby is our king Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 September 2006 %% ed kicks vanyel in the left buttock ed: lazy goddamned gold bag wearing jew bastid ed: marcie: how long until they issue your gold sack? ed: have youb een a good jew-in-training and been wearing your practice bag filled with lead? marcie: yes! marcie: i have learned to shamble properly with the lead bag intact ed: excellent marcie: i'm training my nose to grow into a hook and taking special nose-enlargement pills marcie: and i'm pretty sure i saw the beginnings of horns last time i got a haircut marcie: i'm so proud! ed: what about quick mathmatical calculations to ensure that anytime there is an opportunity to come out ahead monetarily, you will? ed: eg: marcie: yes marcie: practice sessions have ensued ed: buying the first round, when 3 people show up, versus buying a round later when 15 are there. marcie: now all i need is my special media pass ed: remember ed: in the end, the higher the stack of shekels, the better marcie: duh ed: you _can_ take it with you -- ed advising marcie on her jewness Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 September 2006 %% ed: if youw ant S&M, go visit Cerby ed: workign for AOL for 15 years has to be the longest session anyone has ever done -- cerb the masochist Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 September 2006 %% DontKnow: pastry? How can a crossant kill? cerby: you've obviously never eaten a 2 day old starbucks croissant! DontKnow: right ed: cerb hasn't mentioned how or why he ate it ed: but I know cerby: stuck in an airport at 5:15am :( ed: he was monkey fucking around with handcuffs and ballgags while his wife was away ed: he ended up handcuffing himself to a junglegym with the ballgag engaged ed: after 16 hours of thrashing ed: he was able to dislocate his left hip and flop his leg at a trashcan and knock it over ed: where he found the crossant ed: just as he was about to sink his ballgag into it ed: Joe Homeless comes up ed: and urinates on him ed: cerby was forced to eat the crossant and take the golden shower like a man ed: he is now on the MA sex offenders list ed: Cerby is short for Golden Cerberus Eater of Old Baked Goods cerby: dude. pass the drugs around cerby: don't hog that shit. it must be good. ed: all I did is tough your thigh ed: I'm like that one guy from Lampoons Vacation ed: I touch shit ed: and my psychic powers kick in ed touches leo's nose ed: he's thinking about who is going to steal the gold in the pouch around his neck cerby: hahaah ed touches wob ed: he's thinking about how many fans have to have 1 bearing removed before no-one will hear the sounds of a screaming dothead stuffed under the datacenter floor ed touches dweez cerby: pussy. cerby: next. ed: he's thinking about the next virus storm, and how tightly he'll grab his ankles for Symantec marcie: ooh ooh me next me next! ed touches marcie ed: she's thinking about how far away from being an airforce tire-changer/closet dyke she is now. She wants to go back out with the boys to the strip club. marcie: werd marcie: ed is talented ed: DK is wondering how in the hell the movers could have broken his acrylic bust of Tommy Chong cerby: haha -- ed the psychic Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 September 2006 %% cerby: there's a belch coming that's gonna make my nose hair self-braid. -- cerb after sushi Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 September 2006 %% marcie kicks the fucking shit out of windows marcie: brand new laptop marcie: brand new load of XP janet: mmm janet: brand new pain. -- janet the windows admin Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 September 2006 %% ed: I stayed at my job for no fucking reason at all! ed: I'm an idiot! ed hangs head ed: sometimes the bogon field si so thick ed: it gives you brain dammage ed: and I'm positive thats what happened to me. ed: I'm a husk of my former self. ed: I'm lucky I can still go to the bathroom unaided, masturbate with only slight pain, and consume beer in healthy quantities -- ed the ill Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 August 2006 %% ed: the freaks I see just wandering around in Alameda (freakish by Iowa Standards) were enough to warmly remind me of my location ed: and by warmly, I mean huge throbbing hardon that I couldn't keep down with a brick tied to a short length of rope -- ed loves Iowa Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 August 2006 %% wob: mmm wob: large coffee fart wob: yeah take that wob: i think I raised myself outa the chair by a few inches wob: oh geesus wob: afk I just gassed myself outa my own cube cerby: splatter? cerby: ahah wob: ahhhhh wob: I went and did a cropdusting lap around the cube area wob: spread the love around marcie: ahahaha marcie: excellent -- wob spreading the love Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 August 2006 %% u235: I think anybody that works a help desk should only have to work 5 years and get full retirement/disability for life -- u235 speaks wisdom Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 August 2006 %% ed: IT is like this huge money producing boil on my ass ed: I sit on it marcie: ahahahaha no shit ed: and a bit of money dribbles out of it marcie: that's a *great* image ed: and I pay my mortgage, buy some toys ed: buy more spooge rags u235: LOL ed: and then I sit and listen to goddamned lusers and their goddamned whining. ed: and I suffer the burden of the stupid, for them. -- ed's burden Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 August 2006 %% wob: no plans for kids really wob: not right now anyway ed: you can't call it sex if you lose it all over her kneecap u235: I have 3, but I'll be down to 2 by tomorrow ed: stew tonight? u235: lololol u235: nah - college ed: so...meat stew u235: driving her to the holyland today - she moves into her dorm tomorrow ed: sweaty meaty stew with an underaged alcohol chaser wob: send her here ed: haha wob: bring me the gurl, i'll return you the woman wob: ;) u235: her kneecaps down't count either wob -- u235's daughter getting corrupted Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 August 2006 %% wob: hey u2 whats up man wob: ltns u235: nadda - just dropped by to see how many of you got sex change operations and who was due up for springer marcie: janet's up for her operation in september, actually... wob: HAHAHAHAHA marcie: :D u235: see wob: funny that you bring it up u235: U knows all! marcie: clearly! -- U235 the all-knowing Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 August 2006 %% DontKnow: the last name of the guy i'm currently sharing an office with is Hussein. wob: so DontKnow grabs saddam smacks wob with him. marcie: kinky ed: no ed: kinky is Saddam, 6 goats, 4 kurds with nipple rings and little cock studs around the circumference of their meatsticks, all of which are covered with liberal ammounts of unrefined crude oil ed: with dick cheney riding W bareback with a ballgag and his wrinkly hands burning the skin of his wrinkly cock with their rapid updown motion as he finishes with a solid slap on W's ass whilst ed: filling his entire crevice with gunky yellowish old man spunk. marcie: ahahahahahahahahah oh my fucking god dude marcie: i am going to vomit marcie: right down your neck marcie: and it's your own fault marcie: god *damn* that's a nasty image -- ed the Republican Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 August 2006 %% saundmob: i have attained geekery marcie: lies marcie: you are a nerd saundmob: i am sshing into the nest over evdo from a restroom stall Vanyel: thats fucking awesomem marcie: very good saundmob: bow to me! saundmob: wait, crowning marcie: ahahahhaa saundmob: false alarm saundmob: gas bubble -- saundo, the king of poo Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 August 2006 %% ed: get to lickin ed: how many licks does it take to get to the center of sally struthers clitoris? ed: only cerby knows marcie: god that's foul cerby: if my tongue had spines on it like a cats, only 56,000. marcie: that made me throw up in my mouth a little ed: you know when they get that big they have trouble washin, cerb ed: your tongue will have to undo the work of 15 years of spa treatments could not cerby: I'm happy to say that would be a first. ed: you'd smack your lips and motion maria schriver over to soak the taste out of your mouth marcie: gach marcie: dude marcie: i'm going to have to gargle with clorox ed: so is cerby cerby: haha cerby: I'm already soaking my tongue in Lye just from this discussion. ed: he'll catch that last dribble as it starts to head down the bonch and is a mere 1/4 inche away from Marias asshole ed: who's had lunch already? marcie: not me marcie: thanks, asshole marcie: ;) cerby: hah. I have :) cerby: marcie - best diet plan ever will be spending the hour prior to a meal on en janet: AHHHHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH cerby: when ed is bored. marcie: yeah no kidding -- ed's girlfriend, Sally Struthers Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 August 2006 %% cerby: left for lunch at 10:30, just got back. cerby: i gotta find another job. wob: yeah wob: hell wob: why'd you come back cerby: well, I tell ya. it's really REALLY fucking complicated cerby: but, to summarize it quickly: foundry is bringing us cookies at 3pm. cerby: :) cerby: and I don't wanna miss free cookies. -- cerb the good American worker Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 August 2006 %% wob: wow wob: our nation is a fuckin joke wob: OH NOEZ I CAN BLOW UP PLANES WITH TOOTHPASTE -- wob the terrorist Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 August 2006 %% Moni: bikini wax is as painful as I'll go Moni: I find it rather an amusing experience though. Every single waxing place I've gone to, has these non-English speaking Vietnamese women working there. Moni: They chatter way to each other and rip the wax off in such a casual manner. marcie: humans are remarkably adaptable :) Moni: I just imagine them saying things like "Well, I have to pick up my son from (RRIIIIIPPPP) school at 4pm today, so I can't (APPLY BURNING HOT WAX TO GENETALIA) go out to dinner (RIPPPP) Moni: tonight Moni: 'course, they are probably bitching about how stinky, big hair american women are. Moni: heh marcie: ahahahaha cerby: haha -- Moni's bikini wax Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 July 2006 %% Vanyel: hey janet janet: leobobeo Vanyel: if some of my gun and explosives friends get together a to shoot and blow stuff up wanna come? janet: uhh janet: ca janet: can i bring party favors? Vanyel: if they explode, sure -- exploding Janet Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 July 2006 %% cerbbag: beat this, MoFo cerbbag: Ken Lay (of enron fame) is dead cerbbag: FORMER ENRON CHAIRMAN AND CEO KEN LAY DIED TUESDAY NIGHT AFTER SUFFERING A MASSIVE HEART ATTACK cerbbag: Atlantic City's 12 casinos are all closed cerbbag: amazing. Didn't think he had a heart. cerbbag: I wonder if the EMTs had been former Enron shareholders. "man, we TRIED, really, we did. and we couldn't bring him back. Us backing over him 6 times with the ambulance was just a cerbbag: coincidence -- the wicked CEO is dead Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 July 2006 %% cerby: I just got a call "the internet is broken" cerby: YER A FUCKING AOL EMPLOYEE. BUY A GODDAMN CLUE ed: your task, should you choose to accept it is to make this person an ex-employee ed: your tools: ed: a wrench ed: a rusty nail ed: 6 pennies ed: a deep cycle battery ed: a bucket of water cerby: hah. ed: intricate knowledge of the innerweb ed: goat.se cerby: yes! -- cerb getting excited about his job Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 May 2006 %% cerby: convertibles and motorcycles have a detrimental effect on me wanting to work. marcie: duh cerby: now I just need a big breasted blonde to go cruising in.. cerby: but she's at work today too. bleck. Slayer: i can put on a wig cerby: mmm, but then the drapes won't match the carpet.. Slayer: i shave, big boy cerby: it's an awefully thoughtful offer tho Leo, but I'll pass. Vanyel: what teh hell did I just offer -- Leo coming in late Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 May 2006 %% *** dweez has entered room 'Main' dweez: hey bitches wob: hello Mr Detachable Penis devil: dude, you have a detachable penis? wob: dweez does devil: that's so hot -- devil getting all hot & bothered Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 April 2006 %% rain: it's all fun and games until someone calls social services -- rain on raising kids Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 April 2006 %% Vanyel: are you calling me fat, janet? Vanyel frowns marcie fattens leo up for slaughter Vanyel: I DO NOT HAVE BLUBBER marcie: but you will Vanyel: I am just pleasantly plump. marcie prepares the steak and beer Vanyel: damnit. marcie: :D -- marcie and fat leo Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 April 2006 %% cerby: ahh, I'm doing some parental controls testing today cerby: so my job FORCES me to look at porno sites to verify brokenness Vanyel: fucking awesome cerby: www.jugs.com "Jugs.com - boobs, big Boobs, Small Boobs, all kinds of boobs and tits" cerby: some days it doesn't suck. sirsyko: yah but doesnt force you to spank while doing so ed: and collect your spunk in a cheap coffee cup and leave it in the break room. cerby: hah sirsyko: "hrm, the cream in my coffee is chewy..." ed: "smells musky" cerby: hah cerby: smells musky just made me spit out my tea. cerby: you suck. ed: ahhahahaah wob: ahahahaha wob: fuckers wob: thats disgusting wob: i almost spit coffee all over my screen ed: what can I say. ed: cept now I know you guys are all spitters. -- mmm, protein Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 April 2006 %% firl: i learned today there is a KISS tribute mand made up of midgets cerby: mmm really? firl: minikiss or tinykiss or something firl: i'm trying to answer this stupid trivia question and google starts throwing midgets at me cerby: ya know firl...some people would pay a lot of money to have midgets thrown at them. firl: true -- midget-flinging Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 April 2006 %% Moni: omg..i just saw a squirrel choke Moni: My mom feeds the squirrls peanuts out of a cat dish on her back deck. A squirrel came up to the dish, grabbed a penut and faced the screen door looking in at me. He sat up to eat his peanut Moni: then suddenly started hacking Moni: he got down on all fours and coughed (little squeaky cough) until he hacked up that peanut Moni: which he then ate..again marcie: nicely done, squirrel Moni: ya..I really didn't want to do a heimlich on a squirrel marcie: it would have been awesome if you had, though marcie: "stand back! I'm a doctor!" Moni: I'm not a vet Moni: I'll sit the squirrel down and talk to him about his traumatic near-death experience marcie: ahahahhaa -- Moni the wildlife counselor Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 April 2006 %% cerby: A CAT RIM JOB cerby: THIS IS WHAT MY LIFE HAS BECOME -- cerby's job sucks Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 April 2006 %% Lia: nothing says I love you like a 9 mm beretta -- Lia the gun-friendly girl Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 April 2006 %% china: found and washed my doctor who scarf marcie: :) Vanyel: oh god china Vanyel: you'd totally, like, really, honestly be my dream girl if you wrent gay right about now. marcie: :D china smoochies van -- Vanyel the nerd Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 March 2006 %% Vanyel: a whole generation of kids are growing up that don't know the hear1235@#!%$%!@#TWEDS NO CARRIER cerby: hah. cerby: yeah, kids who can't identify the speed of a connectionby the precise sequence of modem tones cerby: bastards! Vanyel: DON'T TRY TO FOOL ME, BOY! THAT'S A FAX MACHINE! -- Vanyel, the cranky old bastard Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 March 2006 %% meg: Miss Deaf Texas Struck, Killed By Train marcie: awesome. meg: Authorities said 18-year-old Tara Rose McAvoy was walking near railroad tracks when she was struck by a Union Pacific train. A witness told Austin television station KTBC the train sounded meg: its horn right up until the collision occurred. Vanyel: pee meg: i guess nobody tells deaf people not to walk on train tracks anymore Vanyel: nope. meg: probably because they're not supposed to think there's anything they can't do marcie: YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT, HONEY! Vanyel: someone should remind 'em they can't hear meg: like the blind couple who couldn't get a day care license marcie: DONT LET ANYONE TELL YOU YOU CANT WALK ON TRAIN TRACKS IF YOU WANT TO! Vanyel: meg, do you know that the NRA has firearms classes for blind people? Vanyel: that seems a bit odd to me. meg: hahah meg: great meg: how are they supposed to determine their target, by smell? -- boarding the train to hell Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 March 2006 %% cerby: so last night, instead of being a good little camper and going to sleep early so i'd be functional at work today... cerby: met up with some buddies at 10pm and drank beer and smoked cigars until after midnight. Vanyel: oops. Vanyel: I fell asleep at like 8 cerby: i think i can taste the scum on the bottom of a trash truck. Vanyel: just because you can doesnt mean you have to. cerby: yes! cerby: no cerby: weait cerby: wait cerby: must cerby: relive cerby: youth cerby: ugh -- cerby, old Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 March 2006 %% Moni: I confess, I am hot -- Moni's true confessions Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 March 2006 %% Vanyel: shes got like 8 kids now Vanyel: last I heard wob: she go mormon or something? Vanyel: no, christian Vanyel: shes apparently a hardcore christian now wob: ahahaha wob: that's not surprising Vanyel: I get xmas cards from her Vanyel: they are "jesus jesus jesus jesus jesus merry jesus birthday christmas god god god god" wob: "Jesus loves you, but you still killed him you jew bastard!" marcie: ahahahahah -- Hope's spiritual life Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 March 2006 %% Vanyel: so i'm doing laundry devil: sweet, will you do mine too? Vanyel: whats in it for me devil: the joy of playing with my undies? -- devvy with an offer nobody could refuse Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 March 2006 %% devil: do you think that there will be a national holiday when bob barker dies? devil: he has influenced america more and longer than most presidents -- devil the patriot Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 March 2006 %% Beastie: this guy has his shit together now Beastie: well aside from being a pothead alcoholic Beastie: but hey we all have our faults -- Beastie's brother Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 February 2006 %% Beastie: i take great pleasurein destroying my life. Beastie: its the one thing im good at. -- Beastie has mad skillz Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 February 2006 %% Beastie: i think im going to throw away half of everything i own. Beastie: im sick of looking at it marcie: very good Vanyel: sell it instead Vanyel: you can buy more drugs that way wob: you own stuff? wob: I tohught hippies weren't allowed to own stuff Beastie: i dont do drugs Beastie: im clean Beastie: didnt you know Vanyel: really? Vanyel: how long now? Beastie: i dont own anything of value or that i didnt "discover" Beastie: 5 minutes. -- Beastie just says no Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 February 2006 %% sunbeam: one cool thing about being pregnant is seeing the inside of your bellybutton sunbeam: it's like a mystery you waited your whole life to find out sunbeam: it's very satisfying -- sunbeam's an outie Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 February 2006 %% sunbeam: he's 6'1, 140 sunbeam: he's like two chopsticks and a head -- sunbeam on her boyfriend Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 February 2006 %% Moni: I had a dream last night that I took my cousin (who really isn't my cousin) to kinky stuff Moni: I took her to a sex shop and introduced her to many items Moni: heh ed: did they like it? Moni: very much so ed: did you test drive them ed: that is the key! Moni: oh yes ed: the key is the test drive ed: perfect. Moni: there was much test driving Moni: it was a lovely dream Moni: just weird that she was my cousin Moni: but, not really my cousin Moni: I don't have any relatives that hot -- Moni's non-hot relatives Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 February 2006 %% dweez: hey dave dweez: doesn't your life take a hit when you work nights so much? dweez: my brain would implode ed: his masturbation schedule is adjusted cerbTARD: why adjust? wank @ work cerbTARD: it's the american way -- cerb the all-american worker bee Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 February 2006 %% janet: oh leo Vanyel: oh janet janet: i've been having a little fun with melatonin lately Vanyel: oh? Vanyel: explain. Vanyel: I took some last niht and had another weird dream Vanyel: I think I broke some laws of physics, as well janet: i think over time i've chipped away at the boundary between internal and external realities in my mind Vanyel: some might say thats a psychosis, janet :P janet: when i take it before bed i start tripping for about a half hour and then fall asleep :) janet: i have to say the dreams are really really weird janet: watching mr. t get out of a pink mary kay cadillac -- janet's dreams Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 February 2006 %% Moni: Thousands rampaged through two cities Tuesday in Pakistan's worst violence against Prophet Muhammad caricatures, burning buildings housing a hotel, banks and a KFC, vandalizing a Citibank an Moni: breaking windows at a Holiday Inn and a Pizza Hut. Moni: so..it's Pizza Hut's fault? marcie: allrighty sunbeam: pizza hut is some bad pizza..they probably just burned that one because it needed it sunbeam: but kfc? sunbeam: that's madness Moni: extra chrispy -- extra crispy politics Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 February 2006 %% sunbeam: i'm going crazy muchacha on a brownie right now dweez: you are bad sunbeam: unborn babies love brownies, it's a proven fact -- sunners the good mama Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 February 2006 %% Vanyel: Darth cheney wouldnt' face murder 1 if he stuck his hand into someones chest, removed their heart, and feasted on it -- Vanyel on Cheney shooting his pal Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 February 2006 %% ed: dweez strikes me as a guy that has a hand on the knob while he's grunting and thinking of wob dweez: you've obviously seen the pictuers -- dweez and wob's forbidden lurv Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 February 2006 %% janet: morning has broken janet: like the first oracle install janet: errorlog has spoken janet: like the first kernel panic janet: praise for the syslogging Vanyel smacks janet with a solaris media kit janet: praise for the morning janet: praise for my cell phone janet: ringing off hook janet: :P -- janet the poet Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 February 2006 %% firl: i just got a call from someone claiming to be "homeland security" firl: i transfered them to the other switchboard firl: i can't deal with crap like that before i've finished my coffee -- firl, awake Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 February 2006 %% Vanyel: when was the last time he got a blowjob from you sunbeam: he gets them like 3 times a week at least Vanyel: what does he do to deserve 3 blowjob s a week? sunbeam: i have prego hormones that are out of control, it's not really him -- sunbeam loves her boyfriend Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 February 2006 %% cerbbag: Also in Tehran, protesters threw Molotov cocktails at the Norwegian Embassy, cerbbag: ahhhahahahahahah ed: hrm. ed: fucking towelheads cerbbag: Ragheads: all them white heathens look alike. americans, denmarkians, norweigans. Let's burn 'em all to the ground!" ed: why didn't they open fire with their rubber bullet gun ed: this isn't helping the rags out ed: they need to calm the fuck down cerbbag: and ppl wonder why America's foreign policy can be summed up in 3 words: bomb brown people -- the patriotic Americans Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 February 2006 %% Vanyel: my stomach is on fire. Vanyel: literally Vanyel: I think I just farted smoke Vanyel: hold on Vanyel: i'm gonna try for a smoke ring -- Vanyel the circus freak Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 February 2006 %% firl: I don't get people. How can you type 27 words a minute and get 32 errors firl: that seems sort of bad -- firl's skilled employees Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 February 2006 %% Lia: hell, ever your DNA likes to fuck with me Lia: ok that sounded bad cerby: WTF are you two talking about? Lia: DNA Lia: I did Van's DNA profile for him cerby: ah Lia: he sent me a beard hair Lia: and 3 buccal swabs marcie: neato Vanyel: one of them I think was actually Alex's Vanyel: Lia is going to clone me and turn my clone into an unstoppable war machine cerby: swank. Lia: was that the one with one end? janet: The Six Million Dollar Mensch Vanyel: I dont think so Lia: *rofl* cerby: of course, in reality, she'll embed a directive that only allows it to pick up dry cleaning, chinese food and extra tampons cerby: cuz women are evil (tm) *** Vanyel has left the room Lia: oh no *** Vanyel has entered room 'Main' Lia: ahahahahaha *** *** Vanyel (Six Million Dollar Mensch): *** Logged in from pool-71-252-198-232.dllstx.fios.verizo since Mon Jan 16 09:15:32 2006 -- Vanyel the unstoppable war machine Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 February 2006 %% ed: whoreslut ed: turdcakes whoreslut ed: hmm ed: a whoreducken marcie: ahahaha marcie: i like that one ed: it's a whore wrapped in saran wrap ed: that is actually wrapping Dick Cheney, 6 other GOP lackeys marcie: ahahahahhahahaha ed: and in the center of the meatball is a Homeland Security Mic ed: in Cheney's left breast pocket is a picture of F Scott Fitzgerald in drag. ed: man marcie: damn ed ed: my day needs an eject button marcie: i fear your imagination Vanyel: your day needs a baseball bat and a free swing, ed ed: you mean you don't imagine a fence post wedged longwise in the ass of a goat when you see W do his little snigger dance on National TV? marcie: i didn't say that -- ed the Democrat Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 February 2006 %% Moni slacks janet cords marcie chinos Vanyel boxers all of ya Moni: you three are just SOOO damn funny. har har har janet pleats moni Moni groans janet pleats moni 'till she folds marcie: werd Moni lets down her hem -- clothed in righteousness, EN continues Eagle's Nest BBS, 31 January 2006 %% ed: believe it or not ed: I'm turding on air ed: I never thought I could feel so annngstyyyy -- ed sings Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 January 2006 %% Vanyel: great Vanyel: democrats arent going to filibuster Alito marcie: pussies. china: why the hell not? china: man, we are so close to losing whatever few civil rights we have Vanyel: right. Lia: time to look into the EN island china: yes, it is ed: yes ed: I'd brew beer ed: and be the local message handler Vanyel: i'll be the token jew ed: I don't know that we'd have net to the island marcie: hey :P ed: but i could setup a shortwave station :) Vanyel: we wouldn't need it. marcie: i'm the token jew too! Lia: cool Vanyel: no, youre the token lesbian who happens to be a jew ed: you're a rubber stamp jew! marcie: okay then Lia: I'm the token DNA geek ed: you don't have the hook nose ed: you come to us with that ed: you can be TJ2 marcie: ahahah Lia: janet and I will be in charge of setting up the explosives defense system ed: fuck it ed: whre we put the island ed: if anybody makes it ed: they're welcome to stay ed: but Lia: heh ed: there is a group sodomy gauntlet ed issues everyone their own coke bottle marcie: ahahah marcie: i like it ed: that is the last line of defense. ed: "well,k you made it" Lia: oy ed: "but, you're not quite there!" ed: "what follows is 8 hours of binge drinking, not by you, by us, and then you must run the gauntlet!" ed: "gauntlet! you guys have like paddles and stuff? when I joined the COCKs I had to do that!" ed: "it's kinda like that, Joy, give him a taste." Lia: oh dear ed: *flump* *suckkkkk* *pop* ed: *skedaddle noises, followed by a splash* ed: see ed: charter members are safe from this. marcie: of course -- the EN island, revisited Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 January 2006 %% china: i am officially menopausal china: and it is awesome marcie: very cool :D Vanyel: i never cease to be amazed at he difference between women and men china: in what way? Vanyel: if I had my balls removed i'd be like HOLY SHIT THIS ISNT COOL AT ALL!@#$@!#$ marcie: ahahahahah -- Vanyel is from Mars Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 January 2006 %% ed: bone saws, homebrew and pussy -- ed's idea of a good time Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 January 2006 %% sunbeam burps and blames it on Moni Moni farts and blames it on Russia -- Moni passing the blame Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 January 2006 %% Moni: wow..I have some amazxingly toxic gas Moni: phew Moni: jsut thought I'd share marcie: nice devil: such a delicate little petal... Moni: I thought I was alone and let one slip out in the chart room Moni: the chart room guy started gagging Moni: thankfully he was on the other side of the stacks, so I got to sneak away before he saw who it was -- Moni, a delicate flower Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 January 2006 %% ed: ?meet your sweetheart impaled on gigantic schlongs ed: thats interesting sunbeam: so delicious marcie: allrightythen -- sunbeam's strange tastes Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 January 2006 %% Vanyel: i'm talking about hilary swank Vanyel: not the character wob: her head scares me devil: she's funny looking wob: her forehead is huge wob: you could land a 747 on her forehead Vanyel: good, it gives me a place to keep my beer while i'm fucking her cerby: you put your beer down? wob: ahahahah -- cerby, sensitive guy Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 January 2006 %% cerby: hey ed, after several days of the humidifier running 24/7, the cat is finally static-free ed: hahaah wob: touch my krone ed: saturation point marcie: ahahahah cerby: aye -- cerby's wet pussy Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 January 2006 %% devil: yes, i can type with cock in mouth -- devil, a woman of many talents Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 January 2006 %% sunbeam: i only break out 'floculation' when i'm really agitated marcie: narf Vanyel: can I call you up and can you say tha tword? Vanyel: that'd be neat. marcie: ahahaha sunbeam: heh, it's really not that sexy Vanyel: yes it is. Vanyel: a woman shold nerver tell a man what's not sexy. janet: uh huh. Vanyel: if I, as a man, find a woman with milk poured over her face in the shower sexy, you shoudn't disagree. -- Vanyel's fetishes Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 January 2006 %% Moni: hmm..another day, another homocidal rage Moni: yup..it's monday -- Moni at work Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 January 2006 %% sunbeam: i lub jake plummer wob: you love the hippie beard sunbeam: no sunbeam: he was hotter when he played for az wob: heh sunbeam: but i know that under that denver hippie train wreck hair problem, he's hot -- sunbeam's quarterback luv Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 January 2006 %% Moni: I had a dream last night that the wife and I went grocery shopping (which we did yesterday irl) and I wanted some pastrami Moni: She didn't want to get it for me and after a lot of not telling me why, finally told me that pastrami is made from cow uterus Moni: I realized this morning that I had a conversation yesterday with saundo about cow uterus Moni: my brain is weird ed: hahah marcie: awesome Moni: I'll never be able to eat a reuben again -- Moni's odd brain Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 January 2006 %% cerby DNSifies his left buttock cerby: left-cheek IN CNAME butt cerby: right-cheek IN CNAME butt cerby: vertical-smile IN CNAME crack cerby gets carried away -- cerb geeks out Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 January 2006 %% ed: there is discussion of xserver shit ed: soem of the faculty have been pushign for mac stuff ed: but ed: nobody to maintain it ed: I think it'd suck inbetween windows and unix ed: it'd suck in that steve jobs Pierre sort of way ed: like at first ed: steve's lips would caress and make their way deeper and deeper down your shaft ed: at the 80% kielbasa mark, his throat teeth would kick in and shred the head of your cock. marcie: ahahahahahaha ed: With Balmer and Gates, the teeth extend 6 feet in front of them. ed: jobs looks benign and all new agey ed: he's just a more refined shark ed: he has standards wob: he does? *** Beastie has entered room 'Main' Beastie: headaches suck ed: well ed: as long as they're packaged properly ed: he's all good with it ed: Gates doesn't mind if his goodies are packaged in foetid shit covered with placenta and colon sauce. sunbeam: ed sunbeam: your foulness never ceases to amaze me..truly sunbeam: you've got a gift' ed: pity it's not marketable. meg: no, it's entirely useless meg: but it's still special firl: "special" firl: in a 'riding the short bus' kind of way meg: nah meg: it takes great intelligence to string together the obscenities ed can ed: mahahahah meg: it's not your typical tourettes shit ed: the sarcasm almsot dropped from your tongue and burnt a hole in wobs pants. -- ed's special gift Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 January 2006 %% ed: see one of my eye teeth is "interesting" ed: so I'm always fucking with it with my tongue or clicking/grinding my teeth against it ed: I try and use gum to busy my mouth with other stuff. Vanyel: dentist. ed: I tried cock, but, I didn't like the aftertaste. -- ed looking for dental solutions Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 January 2006 %% Vanyel: I got rhythm Vanyel: I got music Vanyel: *fart* Vanyel: who coulkd ask for anything more? cerby: gas mask would be nice. -- Vanyel serenading EN Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 January 2006 %% ed: oh fuck me ed: I'm crying over here. ed: crprttool: I'd still be the Windows Server Guy ed: crprttool: I'm a bit afraid of taking that step ed: kernelink: remember, even Christ descended into hell for a while! ed: I'd also be mail/dns guy too ed: and that is unix. Vanyel: dude if you have to give satan blowjobs it'll be an improvement -- ed descending into hell Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 January 2006 %% Vanyel: oh jesus fuck Vanyel: Fught Club, the Bollywood Musical Vanyel: http://www.radiosargam.com/video/trailers/878files/rs_fightclub_1.mp g Vanyel: "I want you to rip my dot off AS HARD AS YOU CAN" -- Vanyel being all aggro Eagle's Nest BBS, 4 January 2006 %% meg: newts is one of the nicknames i have for our big fat kitty ed: fatman ed: fatass ed: asshole ed: those are our fat kitties name ed: for he is mean and illtempered ed: and walks on my nuts ed: verbal abuse is key to a lasting relationship with your pets. -- ed the animal lover Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 December 2005 %% janet narfs Kestrel: hm Kestrel: define narf Kestrel: because that is what we called biting the bubbles in the bathtub when I was a wee lad Kestrel: and I suspect that is not what you are doing marcie bites kessy's bubble janet: are you pondering what i'm pondering, joey? marcie: i think so, janet, but where are we going to get a rubber tutu at this time of night? Kestrel: um Kestrel: this scares me janet dusts kes lightly with corn starch ed: be afraid ed: with your eyes on janet and marcie, leo is going for the backdoor, which lies unattended. Vanyel: ok Vanyel: now where was I Moni: faling alseep Vanyel: i wish Moni: same Moni: I'm exausted Moni: ya know..just once..I wish someone would call me and NOT complain! Moni: oh wait..I'm a therapist. stupid me Kestrel: give me the number Kestrel: I'll call ya Moni: heh Kestrel: and not complain Kestrel: YOU might Moni: heavy hot breathing on the phone Kestrel: at a minimum Moni: woo Kestrel: with the occasional sneeze from the corn starch -- Kestrel fearing for his life Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 December 2005 %% Kestrel: and his fetish is... every technology leader(me) has to do a "webinar" every quarter Kestrel: asshole prick licker Vanyel: yeah i'm about to do one of thote "webinars" myself janet leverages leo's synergy marcie gets proactive Kestrel enables Vanyel gets proactive by leveraging his synergy against joy's knees Vanyel: by dryhumping them marcie works on leo's action items Vanyel: UNF UNF UNF marcie: YEAH -- corporate EN orgy! Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 December 2005 %% ed: sweet fucking jesus covered in KY falling out of an elephants asshole -- ed cursing soundly Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 December 2005 %% janet: when we repurposed our search engine to try out porn janet: testing was...interesting janet: all too frequently something would pop up and someone would yell "oh, my eyes!" wob: it's a cess pool out there janet hums "internet porn" janet: girl on girl on girl on girl on girl on guy on sheep... Vanyel: my favorite was the furnature porn., janet: heh janet: what an accident janet: crawling the web for furniture data janet: that job had so many wacky moments janet: and now janet: i work for a place janet: that sells animated cellphone backgrounds of a naked woman wiggling on all fours janet shakes her head -- janet at work Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 December 2005 %% ed: every user is a problem that liberal use of sex eduation could have solved. -- ed loving his job Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 December 2005 %% ed: TITITES ed: AN A?NCIENT PEOPLE WHO WORSHIPPED THE NIPPLE. -- ed the anthropologist Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 December 2005 %% marcie: vannypoo marcie: my golden little turd Vanyel: <3 marcie: aw marcie: feel the love Vanyel: thats a cum-filled love balloon marcie: i just knew it. marcie: you really do care! Vanyel: I really do care. Vanyel: about what, I have no idea. marcie: atta boy Vanyel: :D -- the love, the love Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 December 2005 %% ed: nutkicking! ed: make sure you go front/back bag ed: that is keay ed: seems to me that a couple hard back-bag kicks, and you may solve the problem for future generations. marcie: some of these fux have already bred marcie: not that i understand how Moni: erg ed: insert tab A into slot B marcie: howthey found a woman desperate enough to reproduce with them ed: how engineers find a place to dampen their dick is an amazing thing. ed: it's like when you find a smelly geek that has procreated ed: you're in fucking awe ed: "christ, the mating instinct must be almost animal in some people." meg: never underestimate the power of booze -- engineers in the wild Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 December 2005 %% Moni gripes. Wow..i'm a seriously crabby bitch today marcie: carry on. Moni goes to firl's library and starts throwing books onto the floor marcie: YEAH Moni: this is feeling good :) Moni: give the stacker something to do Moni finds the big law books and drops them wiht a huge BOOM Moni: I'm being noisy in the library! Moni: Na na na na naaaa na marcie: hee Moni changes the homepage on the computers to the SEX WITH LIBARIANS website Moni randomly removes one page of books Moni reshslves the books in backwards dewydecminal system marcie applauds Moni: thank you Moni: I can be creative, even when I'm in pain Moni fills up the returned books bin and doesn't check them back in Moni takes the paper out of the copy machine marcie cheers Moni brings a big mac into the library and eats it over an open book Moni puts on her tinfoil hat to discourage the fbi from finding out what she's doing. firl: man you kids are MEAN when it's finals week -- Moni making trouble for the Librarianatrix Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 December 2005 %% sunbeam: my job's loaded full of dumbasses maybe something funny will happen tonight wob: the company xmas party can be a total dud wob: OR it can get outa control wob: exactly wob: anything could happen! sunbeam: if nothing cool happens by the time i'm ready to leave i'm going to let the air out of all the tires in the parking lot on my way out wob: hahaha -- sunbeam's office xmas party Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 December 2005 %% wob: word probably got out from last years party that some of the employees get a little wild wob: like falling down stairs, immediately getting up and getting another drink Vanyel: i've done that sunbeam: me too wob: to me that was a sign that it was a good party sunbeam: it's like the puke & rally move Vanyel: "dammit I drilled my spink! wob: hehe wob: he had blood dripping down his forehead wob: onto his shirt wob: but still at the bar wob: getting another drink ;) Vanyel: awesome. sunbeam: that's dedication Vanyel: an engineer? Vanyel: or a salesugy wob: haha no wob: he is the director of the customer call center Vanyel: ah Vanyel: so he's used to abuse wob: totally -- the annual xmas party Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 December 2005 %% ed: so, leo ed: I want a pictoral of the 12 day sof a fundie xmas ed: can you get that goin? Vanyel: sure ed: ON THE FIRST DAY OF FUNDAMENTALIST XMAS ed: my pastor/molestor gave to meeee! sunbeam: oh yay, a paltry xmas bonus ed: A ticket to get an abortion for FREEEEEE Vanyel: on the second day of christmas, bill o'riley gave to me sunbeam: this company is so giving Vanyel: 2 holiday NO WAIT CHRISTMAS ornamants ed: on the third day of fundamentalist xmas my GOP brownshirt leader gave to me! ed: 3 replacement billy clubs for civil rights beat downs Cerberus: And a MagLight Named Roooooood-NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY Cerberus: 6 D-cells are your friend (tm) marcie: on the fourth day of fundy xmas my neocon warhawk brother gave to meeeee marcie: 4 dead towelheads ed: go leo meg: on the 5th day of xmas Focus on the Family gave to me meg: 5 marriage protection amendments marcie: on the 6th day of fundy xmas the american family association gave to meeee marcie: 6 useless boycotts! meg: and they'd better hurry too cuz joey and miryam are srsly threatening my marriage or something marcie: ahahahah marcie: yeah baby! ed: on the 7th day of fundie xmas my ultra right news agency gave to me! ed: 7 fabricated news reports on terrorist plots thwarted by their great and holy leeeader! Cerberus: on the 8th day of fundie xmas my G8 economic powerhouse country leaders gave to me... ed: ok 8 ed: yes! Cerberus: 8 administrations that pander to oil interestssssssss. ed: on the 9th day of xmas my wonderful leadership gave to me Cerberus: On the 10th day of fundie xmas, my local mega-mall marketing department gave to meeeee ed: hey Cerberus: 10 overhyped sales for overpriced merchandise that attempts to appeal to my inner child's guilt over not getting a pony when I was 10 ed: 9 aids a scurrying away from litigation! ed: mine could use some polish sunbeam: heh cerbs was good marcie: on the 11th day of fundy xmas my pResident gave to meeee marcie: 11 impeached administration officials meg: on the 12th day of fundy xmas my pharmacist gave to me meg: 12 rejected morning-after birth control prescriptions marcie: YEAH marcie: right on! sunbeam: LOL marcie: nice way to end it :) Cerberus: haah marcie: merry fucking xmas, y'all ed: yes ed: exactly ed: AND A LECTURE OOON MOOOORALITYYYYYY -- happy holidays from EN! Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 December 2005 %% sunbeam: tis the season to get 50 million jesus emails from my coworkers everyday -- merry xmas to sunbeam Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 December 2005 %% Kestrel: I have a hemmaroid older than Ed ed: how old is it Kestrel: 32 ed: really? ed: christ, it has me beat by 2 years. ed: I bet that fucker is gnarly ed: looks like the butt-end of a piece of cut off summer sausage Kestrel: more like a hunk of beef jerky that was left out in the rain then the sun came out Cerberus: you guys are a great appetite suppressant. Cerberus: Phen-fen can go fuck itself. -- Kessie's medical condition Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 December 2005 %% sunbeam: great the toner nazi is here bitching us out *** ayla has left the room sunbeam: i see no reason to take toner cartridges that seriously marcie: you are correct wob: hahaha the toner nazi? sunbeam: according to toner nazi i'll 'be taking it purdy seriously when i run out!' marcie: ahahahah wob: hahahaha sunbeam: why can't i shoot white hot fireballs out of my eyes wob: that's h ilarious sunbeam: it's only because i ran out about 6 months ago and i went down and took one of her 11 boxes of toner and she's been on my case about it ever since sunbeam: i can't wait for my maternity leave so I can just not come back wob: gees wob: slap her sunbeam: no way sunbeam: the toner nazi looks like a medium sized lumberjack sunbeam: her meaty fists are about as big as my head sunbeam: she eats chili cheese fries for breakfast, that's hardcore marcie: hahahah sunbeam: she's scary marcie: awesome sunbeam: and stinky sunbeam: but mainly scary sunbeam: and obsessed with toner wob: HAHAHAHAH -- sunbeam at work Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 December 2005 %% sunbeam: i can't get my xmas music to play ed: set it on fire sunbeam: no i'm in the spirit and shit -- sunbeam in the spirit of xmas Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 December 2005 %% Vanyel: if I had breasts like that all the boys would like me -- Vanyel with a wish Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 December 2005 %% Vanyel: so wheres marcie Vanyel: I wonder if she got blown away ed: NEIN Cerberus: thought that was anatomically impossible. ed: exractly ed: tho ed: with the proper add-ons Cerberus: yeah, but would she feel it? Cerberus: cuz, really, w/o the sensation, what's the point? ed: haven't you watched any porno lately? ed: I'm pretty sure they feel it ed: I mean ed: who can act that out? Cerberus: touche' -- the boys missing marcie Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 December 2005 %% Vanyel: just for that, you cant share my chocolate muffin. ed: those aren't chocolate chips. -- ed, wary Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 December 2005 %% Cerberus: our cat found out today that snow is cold. Cerberus: and that I get pissed off when he gets out and i have to chase him in the snow. Cerberus: and he really hates it when i catch him and then ROLL HIM IN IT so he realizes I'm not happy. Cerberus: fuzzy bastard. -- Cerberus, animal lover Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 December 2005 %% ed: my holiday season is pretty much planned out ed: work/drive/suck/work/drive/suck/work/drive/suck/drive/sitathome/suck ed: I wish suicide weren't so chickenshit -- ed, also in the xmas spirit Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 December 2005 %% devil: i usually just kill a bunch of dogs and cats on christmas devil: people seem to sit around, open their presents, then look at their geriatric pets and say "alrighty, let's go kill the family pet" ed: xmas is the season for euthanasia -- devil in the xmas spirit Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 December 2005 %% firl: I think I"m getting sick DontKnow: aww :( did leo bring you germs? firl: he must have marcie: it's the bird flu firl: thrax marcie: damn that thrax Al: thraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaax marcie: thraaaax marcie: THRAAAAAAAX Al: thraaaAAAAAAaaaax DontKnow sneezes marcie: see! -- DK spreading the thrax Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 November 2005 %% Vanyel: we've got the cats, too Vanyel: Alex has taken to sleeping on top of my head Vanyel: this cannot continue ed: cats dont' sleep with us anymore ed: they live int he basement when it gets dark. ed: only took about a week ed: and now they look forward to it Vanyel: we actually like having the cats with us Vanyel: it makes sex kinkier when you don't know whose biting you -- Vanyel's kinky sex life Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 November 2005 %% Vanyel: damnit i'm getting the bird flu ed: stop having sex with birds Vanyel: but we're in ove -- Vanyel the bird lover Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 November 2005 %% firl: what is active directory ed: microsoft shit Vanyel: imagine taking a huge submarine sandwic, filled with tomatoes, mayo,, cheee, roast beef, etc Vanyel: take a shit in it, and give it to a homeless man Vanyel: tell the homeless man that if he can find someone else to eat it, you'll give him 2000 dolars Vanyel: the homeless man is active directory firl: which part does microsoft facilitate? making the sandwich or the shit part firl: heh firl: oh firl: that is probably the worst analogy i've ever heard -- firl with standards Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 November 2005 %% Vanyel: cant slep devil: go to sleep Vanyel: i tried! Vanyel: i miss my girl and my kitties devil: masturbate and curl up with a stuffed animal -- devil with advice Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 November 2005 %% marcie: mmm mogwai Vanyel: what? firl: you know, gremlins that play instruments Vanyel: oh. firl: well, pre-gremlins, i guess firl: no one fed them after midnight yet Vanyel: how do they know when its midnight? firl: internal clocks Vanyel: what timezone? Vanyel: and does DST matter? firl: waht do i look like? a gremlin breeder? -- firl, gremlin breeder extraordinaire Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 November 2005 %% ed: do you nkow how hard it is to stick a quart of junebugs up a dogs ass? -- ed plotting the dog's death Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 November 2005 %% Beastie: ive come to like the taste of wild riish rose Beastie: im gonna turn into my life long dream Beastie: a homeless wino. -- Beastie, the man with a dream Eagle's Nest BBS, 9 November 2005 %% Moni has a confession to make Moni: I have a very late library book. Like...a month late wob: firl gets to spank you Moni: sweet Moni: I'm going to loose the book and then see what happens wob: now that's a great idea wob: lose a few for me too -- wob and moni taunting the Librarianatrix Eagle's Nest BBS, 28 October 2005 %% Moni: my hair feels constipated -- Moni in need Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 October 2005 %% Vanyel: they are advertising KY on tv now wob: it's illegal to sell or use KY in Texas Vanyel: cool Vanyel: gives living in a "dry county" a new meaning wob: hahaha -- the new temperance movement Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 October 2005 %% firl: ok. back to the stacks *** firl is now known as stacking marcie: stack stack stack! marcie: staack those books! marcie: stack them high! stack them low! marcie: GO FIRL GO! wob: GET TO WORK FIRL stacking: i always wanted my own cheering section marcie: that's damn right wob: STACK THIS -- firl being cheered Eagle's Nest BBS, 21 October 2005 %% firl: i wish i could get all my daily nutrients from tootsie rolls janet: heh janet: they'd need to be called janet: Total tootsies firl: why you never went into marketing is beyong me -- firl, amazed Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 October 2005 %% janet: something about belgium janet: you have to love a country where the national symbol is a statue of a boy pissing -- my country tis of thee Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 October 2005 %% firl: goddammit firl: who gets a cake delivered to a circulation desk anyway meg: someone who is seriously jonesing for cake meg: her regular cake dealer couldn't meet her on her lunch break firl: i want baggie-of-cake Vanyel: i have a cake square i got from the store meg: just don't get pulled over with a 20-kilo stash of cake in your trunk Vanyel: seriously officer! its for personal use! -- cake dealers Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 October 2005 %% ed: creme filled midget filled donkey ed: the stuff of legends -- ed, the inexplicable one Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 October 2005 %% firl: i learned it from watching you, ok? I learned it from watching YOU marcie: ahahaha ed: where did you learn all those other tricks ed: some of those *I* dont' even know. ed: *wob* doesn't know them. ed: and I know your mommy doesn't know them. firl: what? the helicopter move? firl: i still have to work on the dismount ed: the awesome pool move from Showgirls ed: I love the quote I saw "it's like a shark attack" firl: oh, i don't have that one down yet ed: how the hell are you able to handstand on 2 goats? firl: the trick is to sedate the goats ed: thats something you learn in a country that isn't the US. firl: wob learned it firl: and they don't even let him out of the country anymore ed: you're thinking of sheep firl: not since...the incident firl: oh! damn firl: one of those barnyard animals ed: dweez, however, can do it with cattle. firl: well, he's talented that way -- firl, the talented one Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 October 2005 %% Moni: heh..fucking fingers Vanyel: heh. Vanyel: fucking. Moni: ya Moni: they finally did that marcie: yah! Moni preens Vanyel: YES! marcie: what? Moni: I'm such a stud Vanyel: moni its some kind of law marcie: moni? Moni: but now they don't work Vanyel: conservation of sex energy marcie: your fingers? Vanyel: when you're getting some, I dont marcie: that is wrong. Vanyel: when i'm getting some, you dont marcie: ahahahha Moni: heh Moni: maybe it's a good thing that you are moving out of state then Vanyel: I'm lying on my stomach and Alex is sleeping on top of my ass Moni: maybe we'll both finally get some on a regular basis Al: say, did you both hit a dry spell in April or so? marcie: oy. -- Al getting some and marcie getting it Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 October 2005 %% firl: ed: you're like a sexual camel firl: oops. firl: damn cat Vanyel: ahahahah what marcie: ed speaking to elric Vanyel: must havemissed that Vanyel: explain to me what a sexual camel is? firl: either you like humping or you can go a long time without sex firl: but those are my guesses :) ed: yea ed: jesus christ ed: how often can elric get laid? ed: really ed: like leo before rachel Vanyel: hey ed: leo was a sexual camel Vanyel: I got plenty of sex Vanyel: masturbation counts, right? ed: the only thing he banged was his head on the shelf in his closet firl: ahahaha -- camels and other critters 16 September 2005 %% ed: wob has tits wob: that is a problem for me. -- wob's luscious tits 16 September 2005 %% Vanyel: one of the things I love about having cats: Vanyel: they find things you thought you lost under the couch firl: one of the things I hate about having cats: firl: they lose things under the couch -- cats 16 September 2005 %% janet: darnit, more jelly donut porn spam -- janet and her spam mail 15 September 2005 %% Moni: oo..Friday on Oprah: When Your Identical Twin Has a Sex Change Vanyel: fascinating Vanyel: I gotta admit, since janet started going through her thing Vanyel: i've learned so much aobut something that I'd have made fun of previously Moni: good deal! :> marcie: yah' Vanyel: I guess god has a way of teaching me lessons. Moni: heh Moni: weird that way Vanyel: absolutely. Moni: just think of the diversity you've been exposed to..lesbians, sm, transgender stuff, wob... Vanyel: rofl -- EN, diversity central 14 September 2005 %% devil: what kind of office whore doesn't even have good tits? ed: she is a dainty little anorexic slim tanned cunty wob: so break her in half with your biker p33n ed: I find her about as attractive as I'd find fucking a 2x4 with a wet-spot -- ed on women 13 September 2005 %% ed: I was born to be a sailor ed: cursing ed: only ed: I'd have to be a drydock sailor ed: I don't know much about sailing ed: but I can curse devil: it's good to have a skill you can fall back on -- ed's many skills 8 September 2005 %% firl: heh. whoops. I didn't recognize one of my student workers ed: kick him in the ayse marcie: kick him in the NUTS marcie: NUTS NUTS NUTS ed: right in tne newts ed: HARD ed: until his eyes bugout firl: it's like having the devil on one shoulder and the devil on the other shoulder around here -- firl being tempted 7 September 2005 %% soney: EN we believe is obliterated as the box was obliterated in gulfport soney: anyway soney: see ya *** soney has left the room janet: requiescant in pace, EN. marcie: yeah. wob: ahahahah wob: awesome. marcie: as i said this morning marcie: what a way to go ;) wob: it had a good run ;) wob: totally! wob: Now THATS a way to go down! marcie: free EN memorial tattoos all around! ;) Moni: well..thas'good news Moni: the box is down Moni: there ya go Marcie ... firl: where do i sign up for my EN memorial tattoo? Vanyel: what about EN now what did I miss? Moni: it's sunk firl: glug glug glug Vanyel: figured. Vanyel: goddamnit my fridge froze my lunch Vanyel: brb wob: hahaha wob: glug glug glug glug wob: that is so awesome. wob: I am so proud. wob: I am sharing that knowledge with people at work wob: it took a fucking hurricane to take out our goddamn bbs wob: i had email back from '92 on there too :) firl: awww wob: no biggie wob: i never look at it firl: but it Was There wob: ya firl: other than nebbs, EN was my 1st bbs Vanyel: you were on nebbs, too? firl: unofficially yes wob: long long ago wob: long ago wob: long firl: long! wob: heh Vanyel: yeah Vanyel: I was still in high school I think firl: i was firl: December 91! Vanyel: heck, I was there when they disabled chat firl: i got in trouble for having many many emails stored that were talking about illegal drugs :) Moni: you youngins Vanyel: ahahahah Vanyel: I think it was also my first non-uucp e-mail address, too janet: mm janet: being lectured to about cars firl: when will you start lectruing about explosives? Vanyel: whose lecturing you about cars Vanyel: hasws why have you not smited them yet janet: heh janet: hah, nebbs Vanyel: it was shitty anyway Vanyel: I love "The Office" janet: heh firl: yes marcie: i also had email from 92 on EN marcie: meeeeemories firl: i had emails from greg back when i dated him :) marcie: awww firl: le sigh -- RIP, EN 31 August 2005 %% ed: so once again ed: Shrub is dirverted from War on Terroah! ed: natural disaster will hide his next several scandals. ed: and the rising cost of fuel. ed: I think people may get really pissed when they see huge defence spending, plus high fuel, plus high taxes, plus dead bodies Slayer: with bush in charge you get all 4 in one ed: is that like being double-holed plus having cheney shove his diseased low-pressure member in your ear while Karl Rove tries to wedge his way into your left pocket? Slayer: sausage wob: hahhah ed: a 4 in one ed: 4 fumbling republicans Slayer: 3 freedom hens ed: 2 ravens of war ed: and a terrorist in a plan! ed: on the 5th day of the war on terrah my fearless xtian leader gave to me! ed: 5 DOLLAR GAS! ed: 4 fumbling replubicans wob: LET IT RISE LET IT RISE wob: I'm so happy for this ed: 3 freedom hense ed: 2 ravens of war ed: and A TERRORIST WITH A PLAN -- The 12 Days of Gas Wars 31 August 2005 %% Vanyel: ooh Vanyel: google now offers jabber Instant messaging Vanyel: right on cuinhell: because the world needs MORE ways to IM ed: yea ed: just who I want my imchat goiing through Vanyel: well jabber supports ssl ed: fucking google ed: I trust google with anything about as far as I trust amazon ed: they'll change the rules when it's ultra profitable to do so ed: my gmail accounts get CC's of all of the mail that my spam filters trap cuinhell: free searchable archives of all your hot netsexoring! ed: DATA MINE THAT FUCKERS cuinhell: Google Search: donkey + finger in ass cuinhell: Search returned 60000000 conversations ed: GoogleIMSearch: I'm only 13 too! Vanyel: ahahaha ed: Search returned 5400505555 conversations 1000000 abductions wob: hahhahaah wob: oh man wob: i'll do IM now that google has it wob: so I ca n talk about donkeys and goats wob: sheep of course wob: velcro gloves wob: double wide boots for both hoof and foot. ed: yes ed: the right temperature to prewarm the lube wob: totally -- the geeks IM'ing Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 August 2005 %% Vanyel suddenly realises rachel used the last of the toilet paper in my bathroom janet: ah, young love -- janet, nostalgic Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 August 2005 %% janet: I'm trying to make peace with my tummy janet: it's still not on speaking terms with me firl hands janet a tums and some pretzels janet: tums heck, I think I need a team of diplomats and a hostage exchange -- janet's tummy Eagle's Nest BBS, 23 August 2005 %% Moni: I always carry a big yello rocked shaped dildo in my back pocket -- Moni the rocket scientist Eagle's Nest BBS, 22 August 20055 %% wob: dude. we're talkinga bout debauchery. firl: hehe wob: that's worth doing. wob: most things arent ;) firl: ok true janet: hah janet: damn right janet: I could use some about now marcie deflowers janet firl: whoa janet drops her pen marcie: ahahah wob: yeah firl: good times! wob: I'm not in the right frame of mind to watch that one yet, hold on a few secs wob: ;) janet laffs marcie: ahahahahhahahaa -- wob getting warmed up Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 August 2005 %% Moni: I've figured out (finally) how to turn off my phone Moni: it doesn't even go to voice mail wob: hahahaa Moni: :> wob: you threw it didnt you marcie: awesome wob: in the lake wob: against a wall wob: etc Moni: well..kinda marcie: pager toss! marcie: ahh, the memories. Moni: pounded it on the desk wob: there we go -- Moni learning technology Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 August 2005 %% wob: so close to ditching work wob: boss is not here wob: manager is gone wob: half of the dept is gone marcie: do it Moni: ditch Moni: go marcie: DO IT Moni: it's friday Moni: go home wob: I love you guys. wob: :) Moni: we have a great work ethic wob: fuck yeah wob: I probably will at 1pm Moni: well..marcie does at least wob: hahaha marcie: ha Moni: I'm a lazy ass -- wob being corrupted Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 August 2005 %% china: REAL WOMEN MASTURBATE! -- china, a real woman Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 August 2005 %% Moni: i was at the airport last night in baggage claim and some guy standing next to me was calling out to his father. Moni: "Hey Richard...Richard!! RICHARD Moni: Hey DICK! Moni: finally father turned around at Dick devil: that's probably what my dad would answer to as well devil: and his name is carl :) -- devvy loves her daddy Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 August 2005 %% devil: i swear, i will never again be golf beer bitch in a white shirt for six hot guys in a rain storm devil: though it was sweet of the boys to keep giving me updates on how cold i was -- devvy's solemn vow Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 August 2005 %% wob: so for those ppl who are clausterphobic wob: this is not for them wob: :) wob: I'm sure i butcherd that word wob: and that one wob: im on a roll firl: spelling is for the weak -- firl the Librarianatrix schooling wob Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 August 2005 %% *** Torgo has entered room 'Main' Torgo pops in for the obligatory once-every-6-months-EN-chat. Lia: hi Torgo: Heyo. :) wob: nothings changed wob: you can leave now greg ;) Torgo: *Phew* Thanks wob. :) wob: hehe anytime Torgo: See everyone next year! *** Torgo has left the room -- Torgo checking in Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 August 2005 %% wob: all i need is some more caffine wob: and I'll be able to kill people through cube walls just by staring -- wob, angry about work Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 August 2005 %% *** Beastie has entered room 'Main' Beastie: morning Slayer: hi dassin: hmmm.. do I know beastie? Beastie: hopefully not Beastie: i already hate enough people -- Beastie, sociable Eagle's Nest BBS, 3 August 2005 %% janet tries to remember 9 years ago janet: it's all a blur of republicans and meat -- janet having flashbacks Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 July 2005 %% Moni: i have never masturbated a farm animal -- Moni pleading innocence Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 July 2005 %% firl: i just milked a goat marcie: ... firl: http://www.austinzoo.org/kids/milk.html marcie: what kind of library *do* you run? Moni sighs and mops up diet coke off her keyboard firl: virtually! firl: actually, i would milk a goat, if i had the chance. Moni: I have milked a goat firl: was it all you ever hoped it would be? Moni: yes..and strangly unsatisfying janet: for you or the goat? Moni: I think I need to try milking a cow Moni: heh janet firl: you think that would be more satisfying? Moni: I think the goat is traumatized Moni: well firl....size matters, ya know firl: ah firl: i thought that was a rumor wob: milking a goat is cool firl: figures you would have, wob wob: baaaaah Moni: goddammit firl wob: and it wasn't male! Moni: I'm not drinking any more fluids firl: ok i'll stop :P Moni giggles firl: it's just.. i'm working on item records at work and they're boring Moni: milking a male goat Moni: is Moni: just Moni: icky firl: it wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for these sound effects janet: depends on if there's electricity involved -- farm talk Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 July 2005 %% ed: sucky sucky wob: workie workie ed: yea *** marcfk is now known as marcie Beastie: i have to work for 2 hours today ed: suck and work come from the same root marcie: feh ed: "pain" -- ed the linguist Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 July 2005 %% Lia: dry ice is so much fun to play with *** guest has entered room 'Main' guest: wooooo *** guest has been disconnected Lia: ok... Beastie: i want some dry ice Beastie: mail mne some Lia: you can buy it at the store ya know Beastie: i never said i wanted to pay for it -- Beastie angling for a freebie Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 July 2005 %% janet: we almost had an incident when moving janet: sebastian dumped out a film can filled with perchlorate flash powder Kestrel: yikes janet: yeah janet: but janet: there's nothing explosive in the new place at all janet: I feel kind of empty -- janet after moving Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 July 2005 %% devil: marcie devil: i'm bad, come spank me marcie: ooh marcie: i'll be right over marcie: now what am i spanking you for, again? devil: sweet devil: cuz i'm bad :) devil: is that not enough? marcie: well marcie: yes marcie: i suppose it is marcie: *spankSPANKspankSPANKspank* devil moans delightedly firl: oh hey. um, I'm bad too. ;) marcie: werd marcie spanks firly too marcie: *spankSPANKspankSPANKspank* firl: ohhhh yeah marcie: boy, i'm living moni's dream firl: hehe marcie: it's too bad she's not here marcie: okay marcie: now janet fires a rubber band into marcie's hair firl: when she gets back i'll let her have a turn marcie: firly and devvy spank each other! marcie gets the video camera marcie spanks janet too marcie: marcie: werd devil spanks firly marcie: *spankSPANKspankSPANKspank* marcie: *spankSPANKspankSPANKspank* marcie: *spankSPANKspankSPANKspank* devil spanks marcie marcie: WOO devil: erm, i know you aren't a bad girl, just got caught up in the spanking moment marcie: yeah marcie: that devil: i'm not a good spanker devil: i like to squeeze bottoms devil: squeezing makes not a good spanker marcie: that works too devil squeezes marcie's bottom marcie: you can practice on me marcie: YEAH -- SpankFest '05 Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 July 2005 %% sunbeam: i'm leaving in 10 minutes for my starbucks interview marcie: goodl uck marcie: or good luck, whichever sunbeam: hehe sunbeam: thanks marcie: "goodl uck", of course, is a traditional lesbian saying to wish one well marcie: i share my culture with you because i care sunbeam: how do you say 'thank you' in traditional lesbian? marcie: 'than kyou' marcie: you're practically bilingual now sunbeam: hahaha awesome sunbeam: maybe i can use that in my interview marcie: :D sunbeam: to show how multitalented I am marcie: you know it -- sunbeam the multi-talented Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 July 2005 %% wob: i dont know how those dumbasses got out of the vehicle and took off that fast meg: so unless the car was stolen and they were wearing gloves, i think they'll get caught wob: yeah wob: pretty fucked up meg: well adrenaline can make people run fast meg: and i still think it was a young man driving wob: yah meg: so i'm sure he was ready to hoof it anyway wob: they were moving damn fast wob: from the pic that i saw in the news it looks like they headed straight into the house wob: didnt bother at all to try and make the corner wob: they had to be drunk/high/etc sunbeam: what if it turned out to be two soccer moms out whooping it up together and they got a little crazy meg: pretty much wob: hahaaha wob: that would be funny meg: that'd be damn silly wob: just came back from the local yuppie bar meg: they were all "yeah let's go thelma and louise all down this residential street whoopee" sunbeam: yeah with a bunch of other soccer moms marcie: that would be awesome wob: smashed on their favorite bottle of reisling marcie: hahahahha marcie: SOCCER MAMAS REPRESENT sunbeam: hahaha they split a 4 pack of wine coolers and got crazy marcie: HAHAHHAHAA meg: forensics will find a barry manilow cd in the car cd player wob: hahahaha meg: turned up to ELEVEN wob: YEAH wob: BASS POUNDING marcie: singing along to "Copacabana" sunbeam: yeah right they were probably listening to the Wiggles marcie: HER NAME WAS LOLA marcie: SHE WAS A SHOWGIRL wob: hahha wob: AT THE COPA wob: COPACABANA -- on an SUV crashing into a house in Denver Eagle's Nest BBS, 15 July 2005 %% Beastie: i did laundry today and i have 8 pairs of camo shorts and 15 black tshirts and 12 blue tshirts Beastie: i should really develop some fashion sense -- Beastie the metrosexual Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 July 2005 %% ed: anything for allah, anything for allah. marcie: ALLAH ACKBAR wob: DURKAH DURKAH JIHAD JIHAD MUHHAMAD ed: MALABA HAMBA LABA W W W W W Alfred E Neuman LABA LABA BABA CLINTON-DYKE BABALABA HAMA ed fires AK47 into the air marcie: rofl wob: hehehe ed: ABKLABHABABLAB! marcie: i love all y'all marcie: you big freaks -- the EN Jihad Eagle's Nest BBS, 12 July 2005 %% Vanyel: ill see you in an hour or so then? janet: yah janet: driving like I stole it Vanyel: did you? janet: well janet: no janet: mostly -- janet being all shifty Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 July 2005 %% janet: I could come by and cheer you up janet: though I may not have enough explosives for that -- janet consoling Leo Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 July 2005 %% ed: I need a handjob and a slappin around by some tittehs wob: tatas! ed: fuckin nap Jake: stooopid DNC wob: dirty pillows! ed: if there are tatas to hit your face ed: who *needs* a nap Jake: hahahahah ed: tho ed: if I want tatas to hit my face, I need to shave my stubble Jake: a nap would be nice afterwords Jake: the nap of contentment! Vanyel: ok i am gonna go eat ed: limp and drained ed: with a song in your heeart wob: and a handful of spooge devil: a song in your heart? devil: has ed lost all testosterone? ed: yea, don't you have, uh, like the theme song from The Running Man in your heart after a good lay? wob: hahahaah wob: ok ed wob: weirdo devil: um, no Jake: hahahaha ed: uh ed: the song from Dallas? Or Mcgyver? ed: nothing? ed: cold? devil: depends on how good it was ed: right -- ed, music lover Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 July 2005 %% Vanyel: I want to work for a company that kills people. -- Vanyel looking for a job Eagle's Nest BBS, 5 July 2005 %% firl: motherfucking students need to stop arguing with me marcie: YEAH firl: some dick wasted 15 minutes of my time because he doesn't want to pay 7 dollars firl: dude pay the fucking 7 dollars Vanyel: tell him that your time is worth 7 dollars a minuite marcie: at least firl: he wanted to talk to the person in charge firl: which was me :) firl: so he got angrier firl: and now he's emailing my supervisor firl: whee marcie: awesome firl: oh and faxing our "fines appeals committee" - also ME firl: he's screwed. firl: i might charge him 7 more dollars marcie: ahahahahahahha -- firly the Librarianatrix strikes again Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 July 2005 %% sunbeam: i think of librarians as kind of like book archaeologists Beastie: i think of librarians as porn stars firl: me too marcie: don't we all -- bow chicka BOW bow Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 July 2005 %% firl: i got trombone porn spam once firl: can't figure that one out janet: nice janet: I think french horns get me hotter tho firl: yeah, i could agree with that too -- the hawtness of spam Eagle's Nest BBS, 29 June 2005 %% janet: i broke into my dodge once using a zip tie, a pair of sony headphones and a straw -- janet the lockpick Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 June 2005 %% janet: you know how cords thrown in one box will automatically tangle, just on their own? janet: like some kind of bizarre electric mating ritual? janet: we need the equivalent of hair conditioner marcie: cable conditioner marcie: i like it firl: when they tangle, in our house, you get to sing the "cable box blues" song we've made up firl: it works best if you have a harmonica -- firly the musicianatrix Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 June 2005 %% cuinhell: i need to try my beer can chicken thingy still Moni: beer can chicken is really good Al: beer can chicken! sunbeam: where do you find chickens that fit in beer cans sunbeam: because i think it'll taste good -- sunbeam looking forward to supper Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 June 2005 %% wob: i dont remember much after that night wob: except the phrase 'boobie vindaloo' -- wob living the high life Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 June 2005 %% Moni: oh Moni: oh Moni: no Moni: Jury fucking duty firl: uh oh! janet: yoinks sunbeam: yikes Moni bangs her head Moni: my boss is going to LOVE this firl: you love jury duty moni Moni: I just get back after being gone for 2 weeks and now I have jury duty next week Moni: my poor patients firl: heh firl: maybe you'll get excused Moni: ya firl: "um, my patients NEED me" Moni: I'll go in there wearing my "HI! I'm a Rehab Sex Worker Dyke Liberal Army Wife Psychologist" T-shirt firl: oh totally firl: it will be hard to find a peer you will be a juror for Moni: and I'm REALLY CRAZY! Moni: WOO! -- Moni doing her civic duty Eagle's Nest BBS, 16 June 2005 %% ed: I can tell already that this isn't an Iowa City job ed: it's a cedar rapids job ed: which means commute by car. ed: I am not to be interested in that. firl: Iowa is like 5 miles across. suck up and deal marcie: ahahahah ed: my balls you may tonguewash ed: Iowa is like 380 miles across, I know, because I've ridden it. firl: i shall pass on that opportunity ed: not all of us choose to live in a god-forsaken shithole with longhorn steers and conservatives ed: and people who drag homosexuals behind pickuptrucks firl: we only do that on special holidays -- firl on Texass Eagle's Nest BBS, 14 June 2005 %% Moni: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and Moni: huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. janet: hm janet: this will change the dynamics of elder care for sure -- contemplating the future Eagle's Nest BBS, 8 June 2005 %% Slayer: http://www.weirdspot.com/images/uploads/monkeycock.jpg firl: ok i'm not falling for that link. Slayer: heh, it's just a monkey penis firl: "just a monkey penis" Slayer: it's cute Vanyel: I'm scared. -- Slayer and his unnatural animal love Eagle's Nest BBS, 7 June 2005 %% ed: I'm 30 in july ed: and I'm gonna get drunk and rape a goat Slayer: why not do something new, ed -- ed celebrating Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 June 2005 %% Slayer: aww, vic and i just took a "what romantic movie is your love life most like" quiz and we both got "my big fat greek wedding" *** firl has entered room 'Main' meg: bill, that's kinda lame Slayer: you're lame meg: no you are Slayer: no your mom is meg: well that's true Slayer: i win -- meg and Slayer having a slap fight Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 June 2005 %% janet: a weber grill, a charcoal briquette, a trussed-up luser, 10gal of liquid oxygen and thou... marcie: you're so romantic -- janet charming marcie Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 June 2005 %% sunbeam: i hate it when people ask me the same question 9 times phrased in different ways sunbeam: it's like they know i haven't had any coffee sunbeam: and they're trying to trick me -- sunbeam at work Eagle's Nest BBS, 1 June 2005 %% Vanyel: is EVERYONE sick? marcie: no sunbeam: i'm not sick, just nauseous Slayer: i'm not sick sunbeam looks at slay Slayer: well Slayer: you know what i mean -- Slayer the sicko Eagle's Nest BBS, 24 May 2005 %% saundo: hrm. i wonder if Office 12 offers the rumored microsoft dual headed credit card interface and 8" wide butt plug saundo: so they can ask: where do you want to be violated today? saundo: as opposed to todays clunky interface of a meat grinder attached to your cock saundo: which is in the Adminpak for Office 10 -- saundo pondering Microsoft's new products Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 May 2005 %% saundo: it's not a morning if there's no gerbil wedged in someone's ass -- saundo waking up Eagle's Nest BBS, 20 May 2005 %% Moni just left a clinical meeting because the therapists in the meeting coudln't stop yelling at each other long enough to discuss patients! Moni: fucking unbelieveable marcie: nice Moni: we teach communication skills and empathtic listening Moni: but apparently can't practice it Moni: geezus firl: have you tried group therapy? Moni: we've tried Moni: the facilitator left crying -- Moni's hardcore co-workers Eagle's Nest BBS, 18 May 2005 %% Slayer: i bet sunbeam would go to prom with me firl: are you getting a hotel room for afterwards? Slayer: i wouldn't take her back to some hotel room. she's a lady. Vanyel: slay'd do her in the limo Slayer: we'd do it on the hood of the car. Vanyel: I was close. wob: hahaha firl: yeah, then she'll definitely go with you wob: Slayer is all class. firl: he's got a flash of MadDog 20/20, too firl: its a special occasion firl: flask Slayer: and a pack of swishers firl: yeah! cuinhell: a bottle of strawberry hill and some moonpies firl: how could a girl say no to *that* cuinhell: few can! Vanyel: fabby: easy firl: moonpies? wine from boonehill? come on leo Vanyel: she opens her mouth, presses her tongue right behind her teeth and vocalizes. Quickly after that, she opens her mouth into a round shape, with her tongue down, and vocalizes again firl: har har cuinhell: cover your ears abby, the man is crazy firl: well, we all knew that anyway Vanyel: which man cuinhell: YOU sunbeam: yum who's got moonpies Vanyel: ok good cuinhell: SEE! firl: see?? Vanyel: if you called Slay a man, 'd have been hurt sunbeam: what? -- Slayer & sunbeam, sitting in a tree Eagle's Nest BBS, 17 May 2005 %% ed: why couldn't she have tripped and fallen into a chipper shredder with a liquid nitrogen pre-processing unit, which was all sitting next to a hog lot full of hungry sows? Moni: wow ed..got some pent up rage there? Vanyel: why couldnt her mom have a 30th month abortion? ed: yes! Vanyel: ed's mom chased him around the house with a vaccum cleaner for YEARS ed: the 32 month abortive event Vanyel: now he knows why ed: don't taunt me ed: baldy ed: you'll force me to do something neither of us will like Vanyel: like what, take a shower? ed: when I figure that out, I'll let you know -- the boys loving on each other Eagle's Nest BBS, 13 May 2005 %% cuinhell: i had a pet rat named fuckstick in HS Kestrel: how did they tell you apart? cuinhell: the rat wouldn't shit in your hand -- cuinhell's pets Eagle's Nest BBS, 11 May 2005 %% Moni: ohg man...I have a screening appointment wiht a pt who is alcoholic, schizophrenic, obsessive-compulsive and has tourettes. Moni bangs her head ed: kick fukcing ass! ed: can you webcast that ofr us? firl: sounds like a handful Moni: just shoot me now -- Moni having fun at work Eagle's Nest BBS, 10 May 2005 %% Vanyel: edbucket ed: sup baby ed: you been all aquiver thinking about me? Vanyel: no Vanyel: just constipated ed: same thing -- the boys loving on each other Eagle's Nest BBS, 6 May 2005 %% sunbeam: i'm obsessed with vintage potties -- sunbeam's toilet habits Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 May 2005 %% Moni: stupid kaiser fuckheads went through my computer and deleted any non-kaiser approved programs Moni: like..the oh, so dangerous Firefox marcie: heh *** Moni has been disconnected *** Moni has entered room 'Main' Moni: coincidence that I just got kicked off EN? Moni: I think not Moni: FUCKTARDS! firl: they're on to you *** Moni has been disconnected marcie: ahahahahhaa -- Moni fighting The Man Eagle's Nest BBS, 2 May 2005 %% janet: grmph janet: why is it so fecking hard to add page numbers to a ps programmatically Moni: you need a sharpie janet: yeah janet: 1500+ pages though firl: a few sharpies janet: maybe I should jsut get an undergrad janet: they're disposable marcie: yes firl tosses janet one of her student workers janet: can they collate? firl: likely firl: you might need to whip them occasionally for encouragement janet: awesome janet: I could get into that firl: they seem to like it marcie: i miss having student workers janet: I still have carbon paper stains from decollating/bursting 7-part greenbar marcie: little minions to do my bidding and cater to my every whim firl: oh, ok marcie. you can have one too marcie sighs nostalgically marcie: aw thanks firl: although, one of mine quit firl: so i'm running low marcie: kick it marcie: sometimes that works -- the geeks and their toys Eagle's Nest BBS, 27 April 2005 %% Vanyel: I need to invent a way to punch people in the mouth via th einternet -- Leo the inventor Eagle's Nest BBS, 26 April 2005 %% Lia: I went over to the graham center for lunch Lia: saw Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Goofy, and Win nie the Pooh wandering around Lia: must remember to use the fume hood more often -- Lia the mad chemist Eagle's Nest BBS, 19 April 2005 %% firl: sometime around 4 am, one of my cats rummaged around in the garage, pulled out a glove for gardening and dragged it into the bedroom to play firl: when you wake up in the morning and the